1 Cor 7:1-16

Chad Myhre

1 Corinthians • Sermon • Submitted 5 years ago

1 Corinthians 7:1–16

Marriage

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1 Corinthians 7:1–2 ESV

1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.

Intro:

In chapters 1-6, Paul addressed his concerns for the people in Corinth.

Now, in chapters 7-16

He’s going to answer their questions.

Not only had letters come to Paul, explaining the problems..

But letters had come, also, asking questions..

In chapt 7, they had questions on marriage..

In 8-10, they had questions on Christian liberty..

In chapter 11, they dealt with.. “conduct in the church”

In chapters 12-14… Paul responds to their questions regarding “spiritual gifts”

In chapter 15… the resurrection of the dead,

And 16.. w/giving.. and offerings.

The problems in Corinth arose.. mainly, from the state of their environment.

These were relatively new believers in a very young church..

These are people, who had come out of the world..

Who until very previously been walking in all forms of immorality..

How do we know this? Because this was the norm in Corinth… and… many of the issues that Paul addresses in this church… makes just such a history obvious.

In the evenings, the streets of Corinth were filled with prostitutes..

Nearly a thousand of which came down from the temple of Aphrodites..

Crooked business procedures were normal, and thievery was rampant in the streets.

As a port city.. they were continually infiltrated w/ideas and philosophies from all over the known world..

And eventually.. the moral culture of its many merchants..

Was embraced.. and grew strong.. in this rich, diverse and busy citY

It gained a horrible reputation..

To such an extent, that the term, “corinthian” was used to identify and describe one who was given to practices of immorality.

In addition to these things.. there was also a strong presence of Gnostic philosophy being embraced in the city…

The Gnostics were a diverse group who held to many different forms of belief and philosophy..

But the one that seemed to hold the greatest amount of influence in Corinth..

..told its believers, that goodness and spiritual enlightenment could only be gained through knowledge..

… that all physical matter is bad.. and only that which is purely spiritual.. is good..

They subscribed to an idea, that there had been a digression in the world.. of a godly, spiritual presence..

The first of which, was purely spiritual..

But over time, the gods, which were once, purely spiritual, became more corrupt, and took on, in creation or composition.. “matter”

When this philosophy looked upon Christianity, it observed that the God of the O.T. may have been seen as being spiritual..

But his creation was matter.. and that made Him corrupt…

Gnostics looked upon themselves.. and generally came to one of two conclusions..

ONE: Knowing that they themselves are matter.. and the all matter is evil..

There is no harm, in practicing the deeds of fornication and drunkenness..

And so, on one side of the coin.. Gnostic philosophy drove many into a lifestyle of great sin..

This idea carried over into the church, and developed a mentality that abused the principles of grace.. and created the problem that Paul addressed in chapters 5 and 6.

TWO:

On the other side..

Many did all that they could do..

To deny their flesh..

They focused intently on “learning”

And forsook physical pleasure..

And it was through this philosophy..

that some esteemed celibacy as a good practice.. even in marriage..

and promoted it strongly…

In our world … these same ideals are faced..

For many would say.

There is no use in denying the hungers of the flesh.. There is no use in denying the way that our corrupt and broken state wants to express itself. There’s no use in fighting against the ways we have our wires crossed… or the unnatural desires we might have.

Embrace it, claim it as your identity, walk in it… go with every feeling and desire you have.

And this philosophy, this abandonment of moral principle… has made the porn industry more profitable than professional sports..

And this philosophy has made the porn industry more profitable than professional sports..

This philosophy has pushed the envelope of moral acceptability on tv.

And this philosophy has made marriage.. a disposable institution.

On the other end of the spectrum..

Our world is also inundated w/ideals that denounce all forms of personal pleasure..

.. entertainment, and things that are deemed as being “fun”.. are denounced on all fronts..

And true devotion is only found in their sacrificial practices of abstinence.

As a result of the issues they faced… the people in Corinth, had some questions on marriage..

and as we’ll see, in some aspects.. their confusions.. their practices.. and their ideals..

stemmed from.. in many ways.. the influences of Gnosticism..

and also, their questions.. stemmed from the immoral influence..

of their city.

The examples that were all around them.. were, for the most part… ALL BAD bad.

The philosophies that were being promoted..

Were dangerous.. and wrong.

The world was speaking.. a message THAT severely contradicted, the things they were learning from the Scriptures.

++..

And since.. this city’s greatest fame, was it’s sexual immorality..

The one institution that faced the greatest threat..

Was marriage.

And it’s easy for us to recognize..

We see it clearly.. it’s evident.. it’s.. all too familiar..

In our culture.. over 1900 years later..

The same threats are strong..

And many of you.. have been victims..

You’ve been chewed up.. and spit out..

And your marriages have faced disaster..

And have come to an end.

To those of you, who are married right now..

No matter what the condition of your relationship.. you ARE engaged in a battle..

Unfortunately.. in some cases.. the two sides of that battle are “husband and wife”..

And such battles will almost always end in destruction..

But the battle that needs to be fought properly..

Has both.. husband and wife, on the same side..

In the same army.. on the same team..

For the two, have become one..

And the enemy of this world wants to divide..

… that one.. back into two..

, doesn’t give us the Bible’s complete education concerning marriage..

But in respect to the threats that Corinth was facing..

This education.. was practical.. and direct.

SLIDE 3

1 Corinthians 7:1–3 ESV

SLIDE 4

1 Corinthians 7:4–5 ESV

4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

1 cor. 7

Paul sets the stage right off the bat… “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.

What is the context of this statement? Because, remember… your life, and your circumstance, and your opinion do not establish context.

The meaning of what we read, is rooted in the context of the scriptures as a whole… to the context of the themes and topics of this particular letter, to the intents of the writer, and to the culture of the people who are receiving it.

Be mindful of context… otherwise, we will be those who only look for the scriptures to endorse and bolster our agendas and opinions.

So what is the context here?

It is speculated.. that some in the church at Corinth.. were asking Paul to endorse a practice of celibacy.. - And of course, this mindset sprung from the more rigid side of the agnostic mindset.

They may have asked… “Should we.... live according to this agnostic ideal.. and remain.. completely celibate?”

If this was, indeed their question, as some speculate..

Paul responds by saying.. “Yes, it is good.. to not touch a woman”

Now please understand… sometime a little word study will also add context. When Paul says the word good..

He is saying, in the Greek, the word “kalos”

And by it, he’s saying.. it’s admirable..

It’s noble..

If.. the heart behind the action.. is pure.. then it’s a praiseworthy, and honorable thing.

When he says.. ‘to have sexual relations’ or as some versions might simply say ‘touch’

He does not mean, what we would generically mean..

Such things, as a casual handshake would not apply.

This word.. means to “touch w/firm contact”

It’s also translated “kindle a fire”

Which is very applicable..

For Paul will say, in vs. 9..

It’s better to marry, than to “burn” with passion.

The question is given a commendation.. w/the comments of verse one..

To abstain.. from the fiery, lustful touches of the opposite sex..

Is a very noble and commendable thing..

If you are able..

But most aren’t.

For most people, this is a drive and a desire that is not easily contained..

And for most people.. it is a drive and a desire.. that will ultimately lead them into sexual immorality.

So… to prevent this.. Paul says to the men..

“have your own wife.

And to the women he says..

Have your own husband.

But, simply ‘having one another’… simply being ‘married’ is not enough..

Having a spouse.. is not enough..

These are strong and dangerous passions that Paul is addressing. ..

And even in marriage..

Where the desires are not being considered..

Where the spouses are depriving one another of their desired attention..

It’s very easy.. for a person to be driven.. into either sexual adultery..

Or.. emotional adultery.. ..

Apart from.. their spouse.

So Paul makes it clear..

Husbands.. your body.. is the property of your wife.

Wives.. your body, is the property of your husband..

And as each one desires to receive affection..

The other.. is obligated.. to give it.

Now.. we jump to a short sighted conclusion if we think this refers only to sexual relations.. - Especially, if for some of you guys… this is your agenda, and you are trying to interpret this through the context of your one sided view on the topic.

But those who are married.. realize.. that the man and the woman..

Are generally desiring, different kinds of affection..

And as one receives their desired affection..

They are then, put in a place, to fulfill and enjoy, the desired affection of their spouse.

The desired affection of a husband, is primarily sexual..

But there are other things too..

He wants a wife that will share in his recreation..

.. one that affirms him as a man.. recognizing

his strengths and his talents..

He also wants.. the affections that demonstrate themselves in friendship… in companionship… in camaraderie… from his wife..

The desired affection of the wife..

Is primarily.. in recognition..

To be talked to, to be complimented.. to have her appearance recognized..

She wants to be adored..

She wants affection..

And she wants communication..

These are not always things, that we naturally and easily want to give.. - Especially when we get caught up in that cycle of not getting what we need.. therefore we won’t give what they need…

But then again, Paul tells us.. – that what we want to give, is irrelevant..

We need to give the desired affection to our spouses..

Because.. they are not ours to with hold, or keep..

These affections, that only we can give… are not our property… they belong to our spouse, and its our jobs.. to give them.. freely and willingly the affections that they require.

When a spouse.. in a marriage fails, on one side, or on both sides.. to obey the counsel of ..

it is being set up.. for disaster.

When the husband is deprived, sexually..

He is having the burden of his own passions.. increased..

And the more he’s deprived.. the greater that burden becomes..

And greater is his potential for failure

To fall into the foul pits of hell that plague the internet..

The heavier that burden of lust and passions weighs on him..

The more likely he is.. to flirt.. to touch.. and to entertain fantasies of adultery..

And it doesn’t make it right for him..

By no means.. he is not, and will not be excused for such behaviors..

It is not the fault of the wife, if he fails..

But it is the responsibility of the wife..

To protect him, from being being so greatly burdened with his passions..

Husbands.. your wives want communication.. they want to be affirmed and complimented.. They want to be taken care of. They want you to love them sacrificially, as Christ loved the church. They want protection. They want to know that you cherish them.

It’s their right to receive that from you..

What you are obligated to give.. belongs to them, but it’s your responsibility..

To give it.

And if it’s deprived..

Her need and her hunger for these types of affection.. are increased..

And she’s put in place.. of vulnerability.. She carries this as a burden..

And she may seek to have these emotional desires met somewhere else..

And it may be something that seems innocent..

A friendship.. a co worker.. some other guy.. who, in friendship, is giving her.. communication.. affirmation.. and compliments..

Who, in friendship, is giving her.. communication.. affirmation.. and compliments..

And that guy… may intend no malice..

He may not have a single dishonorable thought in his head..

All the same..

She’s getting from another man..

The things that her husband is obligated to give her..

I guarantee it… if there are married people in this room… then these are real problems that exist… amongst some of you… right here and now..

In a group this size..

\I guarantee.. these marital break downs are happening..

I guarantee it.. there are wives who are receiving their affections.. from other men..

I guarantee it.. there are men, who are into internet porn.. who are flirting w/co workers.. who are beginning to entertain their fantasies as potential reality..

And the solution.. the information of healing.. the information that will restore the balance..

Is right here.

In verses 2-5..

-Be committed to your spouse. Be mindful of what is theirs… and give it to them. If you deprive one another for spiritual reasons… Agree together before hand… and keep it limited. Why? To keep the temptation to make an unwise decision, at bay.

This addressed the agnostics influence.... that celibacy was somehow spiritual in marriage. -But… if they practiced such a thing… may it be like prayer and fasting. You might ask… how long should one fast from these things? Well… just a thought… but, how long do you usually fast from food?

Let it be agreeable… and don’t let it be too long.

SLIDE 5

1 Corinthians 7:6–7 ESV

6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

SLIDE 6

1 Corinthians 7:8–9 ESV

8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

IN VERSE 6… your version might have Paul saying, “this is my opinion”

That’s the general idea behind the phrase… ‘as a concession, not a command’..

Not a commandment.. but.. an opinion..

From his experience.. it’s better.. and more profitable..

From a standpoint of ministry..

To remain single..

If.. you are able.

If you are not.. then, by all means.. marry.

Singleness w/self control.. is the ticket to great effectiveness in ministry..

but.. being single.. – and burning with passion… and doing things to fulfill that passion…

well… that makes you completely.. ineffective.. in ministry.

You may not be able to commit as much time to the ministry.. if your married..

But you will still be effective..

You will still have a place.. and will be able to do great things for the Lord.

I believe there’s an ulterior message here.. to the single people..

It’s almost as if Paul is laying an expectation upon those who are unmarried..

That they, by having more time, and by having more opportunity..

Should be investing themselves strongly.. into the things of God..

I’ve heard single people tell me they are real busy.. ..

And I smile.. and pretend to sympathize.. - you know… they have no spouse.. no kids.. maybe even working just one job… and they are so busy…

And I give a show of sympathy..

.. But it’s pretend..

Because, I’m on a different planet.

and I’m pretty sure… that I’m the one who is on earth..

. and I can’t relate.

I’m married… of 7 children, we are down to 2…

And contrary to popular belief..

I work more, than an hour on Sunday, and an hour on Wednesday..

A lot more.

Paul says, “I wish that all were like me”

And there, he spoke of his gift.. his.. ability to remain single.. and focus all his energies on the Lord..

But such is not, everybody’s gift..

Many people say, that Paul was once married..

Because, as a member of the Sanhedrin, he had to have a wife..

And if he used to be.. it’s irrelevant..

Because he’s not now..

And that’s the real point..

He’s single.. and he’s gifted w/that ability..

To the single people who aren’t gifted w/that ability..

He has a message for you.. later on in chapter 7…

But whether you are gifted, or are not gifted..

You are still.. single..

And in that, you are free and able..

To serve the Lord more.

SLIDE7

1 Corinthians 7:10–11 ESV

10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife.

Here’s the hard part.

I struggle w/this topic… for many reasons..

Jesus says, if one marries a person who was previously married..

That person, commits adultery.

And some look at that and say..

Previously married people, who have been divorced.. and re-marry..

Are committing perpetual adultery..

Every second… every minute.. every hour..

Paul says.. a divorced person.. or previously married person..

Should just remain single.

And essentially, implies.. that it would be wrong to re-marry.

Thus.. putting those who re-marry..

In that perpetual state of adultery..

You see, here’s where I struggle..

First off, I believe this information is for the believers..

When you gave your life to Jesus..

All things became new.. the old was washed away..

It’s gone..

Adultery.. divorce.. whatever..

If forgiveness is consistent..

And the sins which perpetuated the divorce are just as sufficiently covered by the blood of Jesus..

As any other sin..

Then I believe.. you can consider yourself a new creation..

And what happened before Jesus..

Is not past history.. IT’S A DIFFERENT LIFE… you were a different person..

It’s .. “wiped-out” history..

If we’re to be consistent.. w/what forgiveness is..

We have to see it this way..

However, in Christ.. as believers who divorce..

I believe this message applies..

It is better to remain single.

It is God’s optimum plan.. for you..

And still, I struggle..

because it takes two people, to make a marriage work..

and sometimes.. the Christian brother, or Christian sister has done all that they can do..

they have held onto the Lord and tried in everything to be obedient..

But eventually.. there comes a time.. where the end is inevitable..

And the divorce happens..

From my heart..

I struggle for these folks..

I saw my mom and my dad divorce over his adultery.

I saw my mom and my first step dad divorce..

Over his adultery..

My mom is a strong lady..

And she was strong for my brother and me..

But I grieved for her loneliness..

And I couldn’t comprehend why.. God would say, that her best choice.. would be.. to remain single.

I grieve for the one who did all that they could do..

To make the marriage work.. and it didn’t work..

And here they are.. unmarried..

And Paul says.. these two things..

To the unmarried.. remain unmarried.

To the unmarried who cannot exercise self control..

…let them marry.

It seems as if the “let them marry” comment refers to those who had not previously been married..

And the remain unmarried comments..

Refers to those who have been married..

But what about those who are told not to remarry..

Who cannot exercise self control..

Is it better for them to burn w/lust?

I don’t in any way want to discount it..

Jesus says, he who marries someone who was divorced..

Commits adultery.

And we agonize over that.. like crazy..

And I’ve heard people lay the condemnation on thick..

When it comes to this topic..

But right before Jesus made these adultery comments concerning divorce..

He made adultery comments concerning a lustful look..

And when a man drives through the UVA campus on a hot sunny day..

And looks upon a girl who is barely dressed..

And thinks what he should not think..

And stores that picture in his head for the rest of his life..

He too, is putting himself in a state of perpetual adultery..

And here we are, today.. all of us.. I know the men for sure..

But all of us, in one way or another..

We are laden down heavy w/guilt for all the sins we commit, in thought, in deed and in word..

For the things we revisit and think in our mind..

For the reoccurring hateful thoughts.. which Jesus equates with murder..

The lustful gaze..

The way we steal from our companies and our government..

The way we trespass the laws of the land..

You see, I can do my best to tell you what the scripture says..

And how it describes right and wrong..

And as you feel discomfort over it… and maybe it offends you… let me be the first to tell you today… that I’m uncomfortable and offended by this topic too.

But I dare not to disagree with it. I’ve lost friendships with people who wanted me to bless their wedding… and I couldn’t. It killed me to tell them, that I could not officiate their union, even as I, personally, wanted them to be together.

Why? Because, in spite of all the feelings, passions, and desires that a person might be struggling with as they go into that marriage… sometimes, singleness is Jesus’ best plan for them.

It’s a hard topic… and many will say… that the wedding certificate constitutes an act of adultery..

That’s my own weakness..

And I just can’t put my mind around it..

Maybe that wedding certificate constitutes an act of adultery..

But so does the Hooters billboard that millions of men drove by, all over America.. on their way to church this morning.

One does not justify the other.. one does not make the other more tolerable..

Yes, it’s wrong.. it doesn’t put us in the place of optimum blessing..

But our ultimate state.. remains the same..

We are beneficiaries of the cross.. Even those who, in their new life, divorce and remarry.

And every sin.. traveled across the spans of time and space..

Before they were even committed.. before we even existed…

They were laid upon our Savior..

2000 years ago..

And He was punished..

He.. received God’s wrath for sin.. for my sin..

On that day..

And we can talk about philosophies of perpetual sin all day long..

And all’s I can do.. is shrug my shoulders..

And fall back, on perpetual forgiveness..

Because.. sin might abound..

But grace.. abounds.. so much more.

I’ll be honest with you..

I can’t preach a hard lined message on divorce and re-marriage..

I can barely say anything about it..

Because I’m not confident..

For if I draw conclusions.. based on these passages exclusively..

I come up with ideas that are contrary to what scripture has taught me about forgiveness..

And .. grace.

So basically..

I don’t get it…

What do I think on the topic?

Well, I’ve talked on it for the last 20 minutes.. just to conclude by saying:

“I don’t have a solid answer..”

To those who are married to unsaved spouses..

Paul encourages them..

If he’ll have you… if she’ll have you..

Remain.. don’t make a rash decision to depart.. because.. (vs. 16)..

..how do you know.. whether you will save your husband or your wife?…

He also says.. that they will be made holy… or sanctified by you..

That doesn’t mean, that they’ll be saved by your salvation..

But it does mean, that they will be set apart.. and will be blessed because of you.

Conclusion..

In our flesh, and in our weakness… we step out of God’s optimum plans..

We go, from that place of 100% pure blessing and spiritual effectiveness..

To lower, corrupt and watered down forms of blessing and effectiveness..

We don’t always make the right decisions..

We don’t always do the right things..

We suffer consequences.. and we miss out on the full blessings of God..

But.. do we hold onto our sins..

.. our regrets.. our errors?

Do we dwell on the things we did in the past..

And beat ourselves up.. every single day over them?

You see.. God has removed our sins.. as far as the east is from the west..

God has made a willful choice.. to “forget” my sins..

To keep my record clean..

And I don’t understand.. why we would agonize over the mistake.. the sin.. the less than optimum trespass..

And beat ourselves up over it every day..

If.. God has forgiven it, and forgotten it…

Are we bummed out, because we’re not going to excel to the optimum level of God’s blessing?

Is that what God wants from us?

I’ll tell you what.. the less than optimum blessing from God..

Is still mind staggering..

It’s still incredible..

It still, was ordained from the heavenlies and delivered by the omnipotent God..

Into our lives.

And it will still, drive us to praise..

I know this..

The divorce and remarriage issues..

Prompts feelings of guilt.. in a lot of people’s lives..

Sin is bad.. sin is wrong..

But it happened.. because we are flesh!

And grace.. still abounds over it.

The thing that causes us guilt..

Is sufficient to fill a thimble..

Compared to the endless flowing grace that that roars into our lives like Niagara Falls

++..

For this is what the grace is like.

If we’re recognizing sin as wrong..

and we walk w/a repentant heart..

we, automatically.. should be driven to a place of amazement..

Because every time we miss the mark..

We should be reminded.. of how Jesus.. continually.. pulls that missed mark arrow out..

And places it on the bullseye.. As if, the miss never happened.

As if, the miss never happened.

And today..

we’re going to ponder it..

we’re going to “remember” it..

we’re going to reflect.. upon how great a work.. Jesus has done for us.. on the cross..

Great enough… to forgive Paul.. who was a violent persecutor..

Great enough.. to forgive murderers.. and rapists..

Great enough.. to forgive liars..

Great enough.. to forgive our hatful thoughts..

And yes.. great enough.. to forgive adultery.. in all its forms..

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