The Dating Game
You + Me • Sermon • Submitted
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· 30 viewsBefore you spend your time finding the ONE, you should develop yourself to become the ONE.
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// RECAP
// RECAP
Week 1 - It’s Not You, It’s Me
Week 1 - It’s Not You, It’s Me
God is all around our thoughts, actions, being - how we respond to this will lay the foundation for all other relationships in our life
If we try and hide from God, we will hide from others
If we open ourselves and become vulnerable, we will be open with others
God wants to help come alongside us in our journey - but we have to invite Him to the innermost.
Week 2 - How Deep is the Love
Week 2 - How Deep is the Love
Intimacy is the innermost part of your being
Intimacy is achieved through 3 things:
Positivity, Consistency, Vulnerability
Three types of friends:
Confidants - For YOU, not the CAUSE
Constituents - Not for YOU, for the CAUSE
Comrades - Not for YOU, the CAUSE, but for what you are AGAINST
MOTIVES IS WHAT MAKES THESE FRIENDS IN YOUR LIFE DIFFERENT
“The Dating Game”
• The Goal •
• The Goal •
The goal of dating to find your one and only spouse for the rest of your life.
Guys are finding girls
Girls are finding guys
Your spouse is NOT a quick friend that you only have for a season in your life. This is a person you are inviting into your innermost for the rest of your life. Through the great times and the rough times.
Marriage Stats 2018:
average age of marrying couple - 32
average cost of a wedding is - $36,000
54% of couples dated less than 2 years before getting married
Target: THE ONE
Target: THE ONE
In our singleness, there will come a point where you are looking for “the one”
“Instead of spending your time looking, what if you spent your time becoming.”
Husbands & Wives
Husbands & Wives
Husbands:
Should have one wife - players not welcome here
Should have authority over their wife - this comes from a place of love and protection, not ruling and reigning over
Duties towards wife:
Respectful
Loving
Treating them as equal
Faithful
Consistent - always there
Comforting
There for consultation
Provider - this means you need a J-O-B
Should always be following Christ
Wives:
Should have one husband - players not welcome
Should submit to husband - as we the Church submit to Christ
Duties towards husbands:
Loving
Faithful
Respectful
Consistent - always there
Comforting
Should be confident in her relationship with Christ
• Love As Currency •
• Love As Currency •
“In any relationship, love is the currency that needs to be maintained the most.”
One of the things that you will hear someone say when they are about to “break up” with someone is, “I just don’t know if I love them anymore.”
As mentioned last week: INTIMACY IS NOT A FEELING, BUT RATHER A DECISION
There are going to be time that will test your love for one another, just like your love for God is tested.
If the person you like has an inconsistent relationship with God, don’t be surprised when they have an inconsistent relationship with YOU!
Characteristics of Love
Characteristics of Love
4 Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
5 Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
6 Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
7 Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end.
8 Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day; praying in tongues will end; understanding will reach its limit.
HUNTING ANALOGY:
When hunting, the best way to catch what you are looking for is to be what they are looking for. That’s why in the hunting world they make so many lures, scents, and calls.
Instead of looking, we are becoming
When looking at this list from - we aren’t comparing that list to the person we are chasing after, we are comparing that list to ourselves!
In any relationship in our life, we want to be a contributor not a consumer
If you are entering a relationship and trying to figure out what YOU can get out of it, you will always be disappointed.
relationships will be short and end poorly
If you are entering a relationship and serving the other person (and this is reciprocated)
relationships will flourish
if the relationship ends for whatever reason, it will end on good terms
• While I’m Waiting •
• While I’m Waiting •
Are you...
investing in and learning more about yourself?
Personality Test
Spiritual Gifts Test
Love Languages Test - taking this tonight
drawing closer to God in your singleness
The Parable of the Talents -
The Master (God) gives currency (Love) to the servants (Us)
We have the choice what to do with our currency:
Invest it in others
Keep it for ourselves
While you are waiting for Mr. & Mrs. Right to come along - take this season to really discover...
WHO YOU ARE
WHOSE YOU ARE
WHY YOU ARE
“Fix your eyes on Jesus and the plans he has for your life. Look ahead, and run after him with all your heart. Then look around. Whoever has kept up with you, marry that person.”
- DEBRA FILETA, True Love Waits
ONENESS TRIANGLE < image on screen >
!! Set the BOUNDARIES and EXPECTATIONS BEFORE !!
!! Set the BOUNDARIES and EXPECTATIONS BEFORE !!
“We should always be treating the person we are dating as if they are not our spouse. Up until the moment you say I do, you are not each other’s spouse.”
Something I was told when dating, would you feel comfortable being at this person’s wedding and telling their spouse you treated them with respect while you dated them?
One of the easiest ways to make sure you don’t cross any boundaries - courtship
Courtship is…growing a deep relationship with someone with friends present
Instead of finding yourself spending one-on-one time, you spend it with friends, but there are intentions laid that you both like each other
Dating Merinda
It’s easy to decide you want to commit to purity. It’s way harder to follow through. Ambiguity is one of the leading causes of moral failure - you don’t make the right decision because you haven’t decided what the right decision is!
If you know what you’re looking for before you look, it will be easier to find.
Grocery shopping on an empty stomach
Today they would call this person, “THIRSTY”
We will talk about boundaries and purity in a couple weeks, but for now, look to Jesus