Sermon Tone Analysis

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!!! *PETER THE LESSON IN LEADERSHIP* - Dorris Swanson
!!!! PEOPLE GOD USES- Portrait of a disciple
!!!! PETER THE LESSON IN LEADERSHIP
Matt.
10:
 
There are many Towns named after him.
St. Petersburg, Russia; St. Peter Florida; St. Peter Mn.
The internet gives you 25 mill hits for Peter and 750,000 for St Petersburg
Many cathedrals bear his name.
The most important one is in Rome.
St. Peter’s
Who knows how many baby boys have been named after him.
*The interesting issue to me is how many jokes there are about heaven*.
There are 100's of stories and jokes about *St.
Peter and the Pearly gates*.
It is interesting to me that I have never heard a story which connected any of the other 11 disciples as being at the pearly gates.
!! 1. PASTORS AND LAWYERS IN HEAVEN
A couple in South California were planning to get married, but before they were able to get married, they were swallowed up by an earthquake.
The next thing they knew, they were standing together in heaven.
As soon as they were presented to *Saint Peter* for processing, they asked *St.* *Peter *if they could still get married.
Peter hesitated for a moment and then answered, "Let me think about -- I'll get back to you on this."
A week passed, then a month, then six months, but still no word back from *Saint Peter*.
Then, after seven months of waiting, they were approached by *Saint Peter* with a pastor following closely behind.
"All right, you can get married now!"
The couple thanked Peter for his granting of their request, but they now had a second request.
Over the seven months of waiting, they felt that it would be wise to draw up a prenuptial agreement.
Saint Peter was upset, and he told the couple so:  "Listen *IT TOOK ME SEVEN MONTHS TO FIND A PASTOR UP HERE; HOW LONG DO YOU THINK IT'S GOING TO TAKE ME TO FIND A LAWYER*?"  submitted by Keith H. Knauf, Pioneer Presbyterian Church, Winters, California"
 
*2.
There is the wonderful story* of a group of loyal Churchwomen who were going to a religious pilgrimage by boat.
A great storm arose, capsizing the ship, and everyone on board was drowned.
The group was greeted at the pearly gates by *ST.
PETER* who said, "I'm sorry, ladies, but heaven is filled to capacity.
You will have to wait below until our new wing is completed."
There was a loud chorus of disappointment.
Then, as the women began to murmur among themselves about the unfairness of it all, one of them said, "Let's be reasonable.
Let us remember the Lord's Prayer we said so often together: 'THY WILL BE DONE!'
 All our adult lives we've been trusting in God's Will.
This may be the final test."
So the women were ushered into hell.
Three weeks later, an angry Satan called *ST.
PETER* and demanded that the women be taken up to Heaven.
"But we still have housing problems," Peter explained.
Satan roared, "That's nothing compared to the problems they are creating down here.
What with their *rummage sales*, *bake sales* and *bazaars*, they are only *fifty dollars short of air-conditioning this place*."
*3.
A new group of male applicants* had just arrived in heaven, at the Pearly Gates*.
St. Peter* looked them over and ordered, "All men who were *HENPECKED* on earth, please step to the left;
"All those who were *BOSSES* in their own homes, step to the right.."
The line quickly formed on the left.
*Only one man stepped to the right*.
*St.
Peter* looked at the frail little man standing by himself and inquired, "*What makes you think you belong on that side*?"
Without hesitation, the meek little man explained, "Because this is where my wife told me to stand."
*4.
A bus driver and a minister were standing in line* at the Pearly gates waiting to get into heaven.
The bus driver approached the gate and *St.
Peter* said, "Welcome, I understand you were a bus driver.
Since I'm in charge of housing, I believe I have found the perfect place for you.
See that mansion over the hilltop?
It's yours.
The *minister* heard all this and began to stand a little taller.
He said to himself, "If a *bus driver* got a place like that, just think what I'll get."
The minister approached the gate and St. Peter said, "Welcome, I understand you were a minister.
See that shack in the valley?"
St.
Peter had hardly gotten the words out of his mouth when the irate minister said, "I was a minister, preached the gospel, I helped teach people about God.
*Why does that bus driver get a mansion, and I get a shack?"*
Sadly *St.
Peter responded*, "Well, it seems when *YOU PREACHED, PEOPLE SLEPT.*
*WHEN THE BUS DRIVER DROVE, PEOPLE PRAYED*."
*5.
A minister and a Congressman arrived* at the pearly gates at the same time.
St. Peter greeted both of them and assigned them to their quarters.
"Pastor, here are the keys to one of our nicest efficiency units.
And for you, Mr. Congressman, the keys to our finest penthouse suite."
"Hey, what's the deal?" asked the minister.
"This is unfair!"
"Listen," said Saint Peter, "ministers are a dime a dozen up here, but this is the first Congressman we've ever seen!"
*6.
A curious fellow died one day* and found himself waiting in the long line of judgment at the pearly gates waiting for St. Peter.
As he stood there he noticed that some souls were allowed to march right through the pearly gates into heaven.
Others, though, were led over to *Satan* who threw them into the burning pit.
But every so often, instead of hurling a poor soul into the fire, Satan would toss a soul off to one side into a small pile.
After watching Satan do this several times, the fellow's curiosity got the best of him.
So he strolled over and asked Satan, "*Excuse me, Prince of Darkness*," he said.
"I'm waiting in line for judgment, but I couldn't help wondering, why are you tossing those people aside instead of flinging them into the fires of hell with the others?"
"Ah, those," Satan said with a groan.
"*They're all from Seattle, they're too wet to burn*."
There are many of you this morning that remember back a few years ago and say, God has dramatically changed my life.
You can say my friends would never believe a few years ago that I
would be involved in church and talking about Jesus Christ.
God changes people, and God uses the most unusual people.
If God could change and use the 12 disciples he can change you and use you.
This morning we are looking at the life of St. Peter.
! I. PETER
 
*1.
OCCUPATION*
Peter was a fisherman of Bethsaida, a name meaning "*THE HOUSE OF FISH*"= Peter the fisherman who lives in House of fish.
Then to make things even more interesting.
His father was *Jonah,*  He is called Simon BarJonah, meaning Simon Bar = Son of Jonah.
(Not the Jonah swallowed by a whale, but named after him), and *Andrew* was his brother.
Both sons were fishermen on the Lake of Galilee and were in *partnership* with Zebedee and his two son’s *James and John*.
Together they had a family fishing business.
(Luke 5:9-10).
They took their fish to Jerusalem to the fish market where James and John had a house.
It was Peter’s brother Andrew who introduced him to Jesus.
Peter became the most important of the apostles, although Andrew was the first to know Jesus and the first to be called by Jesus into service.
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