Part 8 1 Peter 3:1–7

1 Peter  •  Sermon  •  Submitted   •  Presented   •  26:38
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1 Peter 3:1–7 CSB
1 In the same way, wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, even if some disobey the word, they may be won over without a word by the way their wives live 2 when they observe your pure, reverent lives. 3 Don’t let your beauty consist of outward things like elaborate hairstyles and wearing gold jewelry or fine clothes, 4 but rather what is inside the heart—the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight. 5 For in the past, the holy women who put their hope in God also adorned themselves in this way, submitting to their own husbands, 6 just as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. You have become her children when you do what is good and do not fear any intimidation. 7 Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker partner, showing them honor as coheirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

Intro

The benefit of going through passages of Scripture systematically is that there are passage that cannot be avoided. And today’s is one such passage.
2 Timothy 3:16–17 NKJV
16 All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, 17 that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.
Today’s passage does not down well in today’s world. Today’s society has adopted equality in every aspect of life including the church and home, and that there should be no differences in the roles of men and women except obvious biological ones. In this move towards equality there is not to be an idea that husbands have any authority or leadership at home.
What is the relevance for us here of this passage at Mount Calvary when there are many who are widowed or not married though there are sufficient of us who are? Well, this passage is useful to us to see what is God’s order of things and to pass on this knowledge to our children and our children’s children and to take a stand in this world for the right way of doing things. I also realise that some of what I say may be unpalatable to some because we, in our culture, have accepted things as a right kind of progress. But let me be clear, this passage is about marriage, how the wife should be to her husband and how the husband should be to his wife. It is not about the power of men over women in any other context, and it really isn’t about this between spouses either.
Let me state an obvious thing: Peter who wrote this was married. I say this because the Church of Rome does not teach this and insist that he was like the other Popes who are not allowed to marry – though if you look at the history of popes you will find some were actually married and some had children – and indeed some had illegitimate children too.
How do we know Peter was married? Well, there are two passages that make this unequivocally clear: the first was when Jesus went to Peter’s house:
Remember that Peter was Simon Peter and that Jesus also called him Cephas:
Mark 1:30–31 NIV
30 Simon’s mother-in-law was in bed with a fever, and they immediately told Jesus about her. 31 So he went to her, took her hand and helped her up. The fever left her and she began to wait on them.
And Paul’s statement in
1 Corinthians 9:5 NIV
5 Don’t we have the right to take a believing wife along with us, as do the other apostles and the Lord’s brothers and Cephas?
You may find this hard to believe but in a society were woman were not allowed to be witnesses and were of equal value to slaves and therefore could be oppressed, ill treated and despised, it was Jesus, Peter and Paul that started the process of raising women to their proper place in society and introduce sweeping changes in the relations of the sexes.

1.

Peter starts by saying to wives submit to their husbands. There was some new game show that started a few years back, I cannot remember the name of it, but I remember I watched about ten minutes of it and there were pairs of contestants; there was husband and wife, girlfriend and boyfriend, and there was an engaged couple, they all were at the command of their women and the guys all seemed happy to be in that position with one saying, with the assent of the others, that she wears the trousers in their relationship.
It was at this point that I had had enough of watching the programme! Of course I wear the trousers at home but Irena tells me which ones to wear! The Greek’s have a saying about the husband being the head of the wife and the wife being the neck that turns it. But, let me clear from the outset, we are all equal before God and Scripture testifies to this fact: In fact, Paul who is often called misogynistic, though he wrote the majority of the New Testament, and therefore is Scripture also said:
Galatians 3:28 NKJV
28 There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.
We all stand or fall before God without partiality and whether we are male or female. But this is not the same as saying we are equal in our roles in society and in our relationships. Even if we look in society we see that there is inequality – only one person can be Prime Minister – that is so unfair – but nothing can change that – someone may be called Deputy Prime Minister cannot have the same power as someone who is the Prime Minister. And note, I chose Prime Minister because she is a woman and make of that what you will!
But today’s passage is about wives and husbands – it is about their roles.
Submission to husbands is mentioned several times in Scripture:
Ephesians 5:22 NKJV
22 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.
Colossians 3:18 NKJV
18 Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
All this really started in the Garden of Eden. The woman was deceived by Satan to eat the fruit and the consequence is found in:
Genesis 3:16 NKJV
16 To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children; Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”
So, to start with it was not like this. They probably were equal in every way but that is not how it is now.
The College Press NIV Commentary: 1, 2 Peter D. Wives, Submit to Your Husbands (3:1–6)

Although verse 7 indicates that Peter would not agree with the way many husbands misuse their role, he does clearly encourage Christian wives to be submissive to the leadership role of the husband.

The word submissive means to defer to her husband. Note that the woman still had her own mind to think. How do we know this? It was expected that she would follow her husband’s religion for it would violate social norms if she did not but she has, on her own, come to faith in Christ apart from her husband. And that she is addressed at all by Peter gives her some standing that she would not otherwise of received by Jews prior to Christ. Jesus gave women prominence especially in the fact that women were the first witnesses of his resurrection. Even Peter did not believe the women’s report.
This submission to her husband, at least in this passage, is to do with outward witness to her husband and to the world by extension – he is saying that women are witnesses! And without having to say anything at all about the gospel the life lived with her husband proves the message of the Gospel.
Augustine of the 4th Century described his mother’s role with these words:
She served her husband as her master, and did all she could to win him for You, speaking to him of You by her conduct, by which You made her beautiful.… Finally, when her husband was at the end of his earthly span, she gained him for You.
What submission is not:
It does not mean that if your husband asks you to abandon your faith in Christ, you should do so. It does not mean that if your husband asks you to sin, you should do so. It does not mean that you must always agree with him and never present a differing view. It does not mean that if he is unfaithful to you, you are left without Biblical recourse. And there are pastoral issues about staying in an abusive relationship.

2

Wives are, though, to be respectful, have reverence and to be of pure conduct. The word ‘observe’ by their husbands really means over a period of time. This means the character of the wives have to be this way all the time.
The College Press NIV Commentary: 1, 2 Peter D. Wives, Submit to Your Husbands (3:1–6)

The husbands who will not listen to the gospel may yet be won over by the behavior of their wives.

3

Character is more important than what one wears. And surely this is the case of any woman, or man for that matter, that who they are is more important than the outward appearance. It is worldliness that needs to be avoided and a move back to simplicity. Wearing expensive dresses or clothes or accessories in order to keep up with fashion is not a necessity for the Christian.
Irena and I watched "Danny Dyer's Right royal history" on Friday. What you wore in the king’s court showed your status in society and they were very elaborate in doing this. Peter is saying that neither men nor women should be outwardly showing off or, for that matter, using clothing sexually. Both of these have always happened in the world. But the world is the enemy of God.

4

This was not simply a matter of outward works but it needed to be born from the heart. They need to be true to their Christian selves. The submission in this passage is not one of duty as much as it is out of love for both God and husband. Jesus emptied Himself and submitted to becoming a slave for us.
Matthew 20:28 NKJV
28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”
The College Press NIV Commentary: 1, 2 Peter D. Wives, Submit to Your Husbands (3:1–6)

Despite its lack of popularity in modern society, Peter says such a submissive, gentle, quiet spirit is very precious to God.

5

There are many examples of such women in the past who quietly went about their business in submission to the husbands. There are women mentioned in the Old Testament such as Ruth, Esther, Deborah and others – there is no discontinuation between that time and the New Testament for all these are people of God. As a result the implication is that wives today should also be submissive to their husbands.

6

In this passage Sarah is used as an illustration of submissiveness.
She submitted to her husband Abraham, see Genesis chapters 12 and 20, even when he put her life in danger mainly to save himself and he did this on two separate occasions. There are so many examples of women in history putting their lives on the line for their husbands, and of course, vice versa.
Here is quite a story in the 12 Century.:
During the Crusades, a knight was taken captive by the Muslim Saladin. The knight begged for his life, claiming that he had a wife in England who loved him dearly. Saladin commented that she would soon forget him and marry another. On second thought, the cruel chieftain offered to set the man free if the lady in question would send her right hand as token of her love for this captive. When word was sent to this lady in England, she immediately cut off her right hand and sent it to Saladin. The man was forthwith returned to England.
Ouch!
What of Sarah calling Abraham ‘lord’:
Genesis 18:12 NKJV
12 Therefore Sarah laughed within herself, saying, “After I have grown old, shall I have pleasure, my lord being old also?”
The Hebrew word here is ‘doni’ which comes from adoni which means lord or master and is a term used for God too. I cannot imagine anyone saying that to their husbands today or about their husbands. In fact I am fairly certain that this would be frowned upon. Yet this passage seems to imply that wives should at least act in this way. To realise God’s order in the family is Husband, wife, children. Sarah was not a shrinking violet Sarah as evidenced when telling Abraham to get rid of Hagar and Ishmael. Sometimes she stood up for what she needed to. Submission here, that although it would be great to always agree on the way forward, sometimes a decision has to be made, and it is to be made by the husband. It was this case with Hagar and Ishmael, it was still Abraham’s decision to act who himself submitted to God’s voice about the matter. Sarah is set forth as an example to all Christian women who are married in her manner of life.

7

Of course all husbands who preach should come humbly when speaking of the topic at hand especially when taking into account other Scripture too:
Ephesians 5:25 NKJV
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her,
Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations 2327 Limiting Love for Wife

A young man once went to see Dr. Harry Ironside to confess a fault. “I’m loving my wife too much!” he told the well-known Bible teacher. “In fact, I’ve put her on such a high plane, I fear it’s sinful.” “Do you think you love your wife more than Christ loved the Church?” inquired Ironside. The husband didn’t dare say he did. “Well, that’s the limit to which we may go,” he continued

I do not yet know of a husband who has achieved this and I am far short!

your wife deserves nothing less than your most elevated and intimate care, concern, love, and honor

Husbands are called to live with their wives. Wives and husbands are equal in the sight of God and heirs of the same life. If the husband does not do well in his marriage for whatever reason then the relationship with God can also suffer. God will look out for the wife, so in other words, if you do not do right by her then God Himself will not be listening to your prayers. And the ‘your’ here in this passage is plural meaning that married couples should be praying together and that makes a power couple. But if the relationship is not right then how will you pray together, your prayers will be hindered.

Conclusion

The Christian wife is to be submissive and the Christian husband is to love his wife. Sounds to me like there is compromise – the husband ought not ask the wife to do something that is unfair or to take advantage of her physically, sexually, mentally or emotionally – for these things he has to answer to God and the heavens will feel like brass until it is sorted.

Husbands and wives are neither inferior nor superior to one another. We are encouraged to love each other, to serve each other with the love and spirit of Christ, and to live as heirs together of the grace of life. In other words, we should live in communion with God and with each other.

Let’s pray...

Benediction

1 Corinthians 15:58 NKJV
58 Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is not in vain in the Lord.

Bibliography

Barry, J. D., Mangum, D., Brown, D. R., Heiser, M. S., Custis, M., Ritzema, E., … Bomar, D. (2012, 2016). Faithlife Study Bible. Bellingham, WA: Lexham Press.
Cedar, P. A., & Ogilvie, L. J. (1984). James / 1 & 2 Peter / Jude (Vol. 34). Nashville, TN: Thomas Nelson Inc.
Elliott, J. H. (2008). 1 Peter: a new translation with introduction and commentary (Vol. 37B). New Haven; London: Yale University Press.
Helm, D. R. (2008). 1 & 2 Peter and Jude: sharing christ’s sufferings. Wheaton, IL: Crossway Books.
Leadership Ministries Worldwide. (1996). 1 Peter–Jude. Chattanooga, TN: Leadership Ministries Worldwide.
Michaels, J. R. (1998). 1 Peter (Vol. 49). Dallas: Word, Incorporated.
Nystrom, C. (2002). 1 & 2 Peter and Jude: 12 Studies for Individuals or Groups: With Notes for Leaders. Downers Grove, IL: IVP Connect: An Imprint of InterVarsity Press.
Spence-Jones, H. D. M. (Ed.). (1909). 1 Peter. London; New York: Funk & Wagnalls Company.
Tan, P. L. (1996). Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations: Signs of the Times. Garland, TX: Bible Communications, Inc.
Exported from Logos Bible Software, 18:49 16 February 2019.
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