The Cost of Love

I wanted to bring some of the Boogie Down Bronx here to South Florida – I know Pastor D is a Brooklyn guy, but ya’ll will just have to rock with me for a little bit.

I’m sure you’re familiar with block theologian Jennifer Lopez, right? Anyone remember when JLo once sang about the cost of love? What did she sing?

You think you gotta keep me iced (You don’t)

You think I’m gonna spend your cash (I won’t)

Even if you were broke

My love don’t cost a thing.

“my love don’t cost a thing.”

Love don’t cost a thing.

Truthfully, we resonate with that, don’t we? That love cannot be bought with dollar bills and Benz-es (Though to be fair, she was also the one who said if I wanna floss I got my own…she just had it like that).

Sidenote – JLo says that love don’t cost a thing, but for some reason, I always double my spending when I’m in a relationship – can I get a witness?

But either way, we all realize and resonate with the fact that love is not something that money can buy.

But we must not get it twisted family – though it might not cost money, we all know that love does cost. Even in human terms, right? I’m not even talking about the love of God. But as humans, we experience that love requires sacrifice, it requires a laying down of preferences, it requires a concern for the person you love.

Thus, to say love don’t cost at

There’s a deeper quality to it.

JLo goes on to say

All that matters is

JLo goes on to sing that

That you treat me right

Give me all the things I need

That money can’t buy

You see, for JLo, though love doesn’t cost a thing, she knew there was a cost. And we know this too. Therefore it’s not necessarily true to say that love don’t cost a thing – I guess it’s a matter of the ‘currency,’ if you will.

So here is my main point from today’s text:

Who paid for it?

Your answer to that question will tell you whether or not you truly know and are walking with Jesus. Your answer to ‘who paid for it’ determines your eternity–whether you will spend eternity with God and His people, or eternally separated from God under His punishment. But not only that, your answer to this question will change everything about how you live life on this earth – it will impact how you treat people you love, how you treat people you hate, how you care (or don’t care) for those who are in difficult situations. And, your answer to this question will determine whether you live a life of freedom in the grace of God or a life of shackles – guilt, shame, and attempted performance in a failing attempt to earn love.

Our text for today is . Would you open up there with me right now. Sometimes, it’s good to work through a passage and get the whole idea of the chunk, but other times, we need to zero in on a specific verse – especially one like this, which gives us a comprehensive understanding of God’s love.

1 John 4:10 ESV

In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins.

They Say that love don’t cost a thing,

but God’s love is costly.

The question is – Who did it cost?

So, the apostle John is writing this letter to these churches spread out across Asia Minor (which is modern day Turkey – a little North and West of Israel).

It seems like they needed some encouragement in the area of love. Especially in the area of loving one another.

How many of us, from time to time, struggle with loving one another?

This letter might have some encouragement for us. In fact, surrounding this verse, the apostle John goes so far to say that our love for one another shows that we ‘know’ God – because God doesn’t simply have a characteristic of love – God Himself is love. That if we don’t love one another, we show that we don’t really know God. Because how can you know the love of God, and not live a life that displays the love of God flowing out of you?

So God Himself is love–therefore if we really wanna understand love–we must look to the God.

Far too often, we as people look to our experiences and our surrounding culture to tell us what love is. We’d be silly to not acknowledge that our understanding of love is shaped by those things. Perhaps a relationship has taught us that we have to earn our boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse’s love. Perhaps music has taught us about love being something isn’t really worth much.

It is fair to say that we as a society are indeed love-sick.

We are sick, church, not because we have not been told what true love is, but because we are listening to the wrong voices.

Far too often we have allowed our understanding of love (and our understanding of God’s love) to be defined by culture and experience, instead of allowing God Himself to define love on His own terms. Isn’t that foolish?

If God is Himself love, then why allow foolish human substitute teachers to define love for us? They are not love, so what right do they have to set the terms of love.

Today we’re going to seek to let God speak straight from His Word. And tell us what love is. What His costly love is.

The story of the world is a story of the God of the universe deciding to create His people for a relationship of love with Him. That is what we were created for – a relationship of love with the God of the universe.

I thought it might be helpful for us to understand what “love” means when God is talking about His love. Because we can all agree, right, that not all love is created equal. The word ‘love’ can mean a million different things.

When I say, “I love pernil,” do I mean it in the same way when I say “I love you” to my mom? Do I love “pernil” the same way that I would use the word to say I’m ‘in love’? Right. Sometimes love can mean “I really like this thing” sometimes love can mean “I’m care deeply for you” sometimes love can seem to be an emotion (I.e. “I’m in love”). So what is love?

We’re going to let God define it. Because He is love.

There is this beautiful word for love in the Old Testament that gives us insight into what God’s love truly is. It’s this word hesed. It’s seen all over the Old Testament, and is often translated “steadfast love” or “lovingkindness” or “loyal love”. It’s the kind of love that is a reliable commitment to the good of another. It’s a covenant love. Covenant love is the kind of commitment that has signed on the dotted lines that you will be to somewhat what you’ve said you will be. It’s the kind of love we see in marriage – “in sickness or in health,” “for better or for worse” – it’s not a circumstantial love – it’s a love that says, “I’m going to keep my end of the bargain.” It’s a faithful love. This is who God describes Himself to be all over the Old Testament, and it’s who He proves Himself to be in Jesus Christ.

Exodus 34:6 ESV

The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness,

God is faithful in His commitment to His people. He is merciful, gracious, and slow to anger. So He is forgiving towards those who seek His forgiveness. This love is the core content of who are God is – A committed God.

One commentator, in reflecting on this verse, said it like this:

The New American Commentary: Exodus God Shows Moses His Glory (34:5–7)

However fickle and unreliable humans may be in their relationship to God, he is nothing of the sort but can be counted on in every situation and at all times to be completely faithful to his promises for his people

I just wanted to make this clear, that we’re not talking about love like a ‘feeling’ that comes or goes, or even a ‘caring’ for someone that shifts dependent on our deservedness of that care.

We’re talking about a commitment from God for the good of His people. Point-blank.

Then, we get to the love in our text. This love is the word agape. This is “unconditional, sacrificial love of one person to another.” This love, out of care and commitment, sacrifices for the well-being of another.

When talking about God’s agape love towards us, it’s the sacrificial love that He extends to us, though we’re undeserving of it.

It’s almost like the way God maintained His hesed love towards us (his loyal covenant love) is through extending agape love to us (unconditional sacrificial love) to make us His people and forgive us our sins.

Okay, now on to our text:

“In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us...”

The story of the world is a story of the God of the universe deciding to create His people for a relationship of love with Him. That is what we were created for – a relationship of love with the God of the universe.

Unfortunately

I thought it might be helpful for us to understand what “love” means when God is talking about His love. Because we can all agree, right, that not all love is created equal. The word ‘love’ can mean a million different things.

When I say, “I love pernil,” do I mean it in the same way when I say “I love you” to my mom? Do I love “pernil” the same way that I would use the word to say I’m ‘in love’? Right. Sometimes love can mean “I really like this thing” sometimes love can mean “I’m care deeply for you” sometimes love can seem to be an emotion (I.e. “I’m in love”). So what is love?

We’re going to let God define it. Because He is love.

There is this beautiful word for love in the Old Testament that gives us insight into what God’s love truly is. It’s this word hesed. It’s seen all over the Old Testament, and is often translated “steadfast love” or “lovingkindness” or “loyal love”. It’s the kind of love that is a reliable commitment to the good of another. It’s a covenant love. Covenant love is the kind of commitment that has signed on the dotted lines that you will be to somewhat what you’ve said you will be. It’s the kind of love we see in marriage – “in sickness or in health,” “for better or for worse” – it’s not a circumstantial love – it’s a love that says, “I’m going to keep my end of the bargain.” It’s a faithful love. This is who God describes Himself to be all over the Old Testament, and it’s who He proves Himself to be in Jesus Christ.

Exodus 34:6 ESV

The Lord passed before him and proclaimed, “The Lord, the Lord, a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger, and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness,

God is faithful in His commitment to His people. He is merciful, gracious, and slow to anger. So He is forgiving towards those who seek His forgiveness. This love is the core content of who are God is – A committed God.

And when we get to our text. John doesn’t pull any punches – he begins saying–HERE’S A DEFINITION OF LOVE:

John doesn’t pull any punches – he begins saying–HERE’S A DEFINITION OF LOVE:

You’d expect him, having talked about the commands to ‘let us love one another’ (v. 7) – He’d say, here’s how YOU need to love one another. Here’s what you need to do.

But John knows what God knows, and that is –

Any attempt by us to love God or love others will fail if it begins with us.

He says the definition of love is NOT that we’ve loved God – we haven’t. But the definition of love is that He loved us.

Love begins with God.

And this comes at us head on, right – because if we’re honest with ourselves, we tend to think of love as something that we do to others. We tend to think of ourselves as loving people. Of people who care for one another, who are not all that bad, who are even a good picture of ‘love’.

God humbles us. He says, nah, love is not that we loved God. Love is that He loved us. That He sacrifically, unconditionally loved us. It started with Him.

In order for you to truly experience God’s love and then love others, you must know without a doubt that love begins with God. It begins with what He has said He will be for you. Your whole life is not dependent upon your love – it is dependent upon God’s love for you. That is where we must begin, Cruciform.

If God’s love in Jesus Christ for you is not the foundation of your life, then you do not know God. You are not in relationship with Him. Sadly, you’ve reversed the order – beginning it with yourself – your love for Him, your strength to love others, YOU, YOU, YOU – and that is the essence of sin. Putting YOU over God. Putting your point of view over God’s truth. That you can somehow earn God’s love. John says, nah – love does not begin with you loving God, but it begins with you understanding that God has loved you.

You might wonder, well, why Jake can I trust this? Why can I trust God’s love for me?

Why can I trust that God has this kind of love for me?

When you think about this, you might start to think in two different ways:

There’s been so much difficulty and hardship in my life that it’s hard to trust that God loves me. If God really did love me, then why did He let _______ happen?

I’ve done so much dirt, sin, that there’s no way He would want to love me. That He’d want to commit to me in that way.

How can I trust that He really is committed in His love?

Let’s keep reading...

“and sent His Son”

How many of us have done have done ridiculous things in the name of love? Anyone? They’ve said that love makes us do crazy things.

I can remember this one time, back in college, where I was dating this girl for quite some time. And fam, I really liked her. Like was crazy about her. And it was a pretty dope situation – my roommate was dating her roommate – so the four of us were always hanging out together, going on double dates, what have you.

And I remember, over spring break one week, my girlfriend and her roommate were going to a beach-house with family in North Carolina. It also happened to be my girlfriend’s birthday.

So, me and my roommate, talking out one night, were like – we should go to the beach-house and surprise them for two days, for my birthday.

Great idea, right?

No matter that it was a 7 hour drive to my friends house to pick him up, then another 6 hours to the beach house. 13 hours or so driving for a day and a half of hanging out with our girlfriends. Not to mention the 13 hours back home after.

But, in the name of ‘love’ – we did it.

I cared so much about her, that I wanted to be with her. I sacrificed to spend that time with her.

Honestly, I didn’t even have to think about it. There was no part of me that said, Jake, maybe it’s not ‘worth’ it. It’s too big of a sacrifice. You don’t even get that much time together.

I went after her, because I valued our relationship. It was amazing, she was a great woman, and I just wanted to be with her.

We understand that right? That we sacrifice joyfully for those that we love, because they’re worth it to us. We’re gonna do whatever we can to be with them.

We sacrifice for those that we love joyfully, because

Sidenote – JLo says that love don’t cost a thing, but for some reason, I always double my spending when I’m in a relationship – can I get a witness?

Okay, Jake, so why can I trust God’s love?

It’s been said that the depth of someone’s love for us is seen in what it costs them.

When it comes to the God who is love, He put His money where His mouth is to prove His love.

God sent His Son.

And here’s the final part in the understanding of God’s gospel love.

You see, all of our human understanding of love is built upon the one we love’s worthiness of that love and/or what they do for us.

Though I didn’t hesitate to drive 12 hours to surprise my girlfriend, my reasons for doing that we’re based on her loveliness towards me.

God’s love is quite different.

I pursued her as a girlfriend in part because of who she was and what she did for me. I loved spending time with her. She gave me joy. She was brilliant, godly, and I just couldn’t wait to be with her. Also, she herself pursued me. And that gave me a certain kind of joy and ‘fulfillment,’ if you will. It feels good to be pursued by someone, no?

With my girlfriend explanation – I pursued her as a girlfriend in part because of who she was and what she did for me.

Right –

In our world, though, we are taught (and we experience) that people are pursued or not pursued based upon their worth of pursuit. I’m sure that if you’re in a relationship, or if you’re married, or even in the friends you chooses, or what have you, those relationships are in part based upon the ‘worth’ of that other person, or the joy that they give you. I’m not saying that it’s wrong to be with people you enjoy, or who support/encourage you in different ways, but I am saying that that is NOT the foundation of God’s love for us.

But God’s love is quite different.

God’s love is quite different.

Whereas I didn’t hesitate to drive 12 hours to surprise my girlfriend, my reasons for doing that we’re based on her loveliness towards me.

God’s love is quite different.

We fear that God will ‘fall out of love’ with us when we sin. But the amazing truth of Christianity is that God’s covenant love towards us is secured upon His commitment to His glory. His commitment to build a people that will glorify His name forever. His desire to flex the majesty of His glory and grace on undeserving sinners through the self-sacrificial love of His son Jesus.

Therefore, no matter how ‘rocky’ your Valentine’s day is looking, be sure you’re looking at the solid rock of God’s costly love.

We talk about how we want a “ride-or-die” relationship in another human, but we have to acknowledge that we only ourselves want to be ‘ride-or-die’ for someone else if we think they’re worth it. If they’re good enough for us. If they deserve our ride or die. None of us deserve it.

And Jesus, Jesus is the RIDE OR DIE Savior that was and is ride or die for us when we gave him every reason for us not to be. In His great, committed, covenant love, that He wanted to show to sinners, to show His glory and beauty and grace to us, He rode and died on the cross for those that nailed Him to it with our sins. For you and me. There isn’t a greater love. There isn’t a more sure love. There is no substitute for His love. If you don’t know His love, you’re not living. You’re missing out on the greatest relationship in this world and the next.

If you have Christianity without the costly love of Christ – without His sacrificial death for our sins – we’ve got nothing. We are hopeless and dead in our sins.

The World Says I

God Says I’m paying

The World says I’ll come to you

God Says I came for you

The World says I’m paying

God says I’m paying

Possibly an AO call illustration?

The Cost of Love

The Cost of Love

Introduction

They say that love don’t cost a thing,

but God’s love is costly.

The question is – Who did it cost?

Costly love begins with God

Costly love comes for us

Costly love isn’t dependent upon the beloved’s loveliness