Man Pleasers
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Multitasking Introduction
Multitasking Introduction
Any of you multitaskers?
Some of you are doing it right now.
I’m not talking about mowing the lawn and listening to a sermon, a book on tape, or a song at the same time.
I’m saying you are trying to equally focus on multiple things at the same time.
Read a book, and watch a movie at the same time.
Have a conversation with your wife and file your taxes both at the same time.
Some of us do it because we think that it saves time.
You are killing 2 birds with 1 stone.
Others have a difficult time focusing on a single thing, so they get distracted.
Others, have no self-control, and they do whatever their eyes see.
Whether or not we like it, our culture has accepted multitasking.
It’s pretty common place.
Some of you are doing it right now.
You’ve got your phone out.
The person next to you thinks you are on the ESV app, but really you are ordering something from Amazon.
And then you are going to research whether or not multitasking really is a problem, by making a quick trip to wikipedia.
You can go out to eat with someone, and while you are talking to them, they are on their phone.
They seem distracted.
You ask what they are doing.
They are working on a spreadsheet, on their phone.
We are able to bring our work with us wherever we go.
You ever follow that person who is really slow.
You think he is drunk.
You finally pass him, only to see him gazing down at his lap, because he’s on the phone.
We are a culture that has accepted multitasking, thinking that it is more productive.
Proudly, I’d say I can play tanks and have a conversation with Amanda.
But the reality is that this is not true.
But if you were to ask her, she’d say that’s not true.
As I’m playing, I’m the tank
I have a hard time playing tanks and talking to Amanda.
I don’t finish my sentences.
My thoughts are incomplete.
We are a culture that has accepted multitasking, thinking that it is more productive.
It may seem easier to multitask, but in reality, studies have shown that multitasking is less efficient.
One study showed that multitasking can reduce productivity by as much as 40%.
That book you are reading while watching the movie -
You’ll read 40% less.
You’ll comprehend 40% less.
Or you’ll only be able to pay attention to a fraction of the movie.
One researcher from Stanford found that when we multitask, our brains are affected.
They are not able to get into deep thought.
They are not able to focus on the problem at hand, because the rest of your attention is going elsewhere.
Think of a computer.
If you open too many programs, too many windows at one time, what happens?
It slows down.
It doesn’t have the horsepower to power all those different tasks affectively.
Our brains are no different.
It has even been suggested that multitasking can affect the development of adolescent brains.
It is at that stage when different neural connections are being made.
And multitasking at that age affects these connections from being made, resulting in minds that are not good at problem solving, creativity, or focusing on a single issue.
And yet, many of us think that we can still concentrate on multiple things at the same time.
How many times have you tried to have a serious conversation with someone while they are watching TV?
Proudly, I’d say I can play tanks and have a conversation with Amanda.
But the reality is that this is not true.
Just because they are in the same room with you, doesn’t mean their brain is.
I have a hard time playing tanks and talking to Amanda at the same time.
I don’t finish my sentences.
You can see it as they daze off into the screen.
My thoughts are incomplete.
And when this happens you say, “Are you listening to me?”
Then you turn off the TV, and have a focused conversation.
When it comes to our attention and multitasking, we don’t need balance.
We need focus.
The same thing happens in our spiritual life.
We try and multitask ourselves lives.
We try to give a little bit to our family.
We give a little bit to our work.
We give a little bit to our friends.
We give a little bit to our hobbies.
In the process we are trying to make everybody happy.
But not doing any of it well.
And so we need to ask ourselves this question, who are you trying to please?
In , Paul responded to that question by saying, “For am I now seeking the approval of man, or of God? Or am I trying to please man? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
That happens to be our text for the morning.
The first thing to see, is that when it comes to scheduling our priorities, this is really A Kingdom Choice.
The first thing to see, is that when it comes to scheduling our priorities, this is really A Kingdom Choice.
Paul asks who is he trying to please, God or man?
If he is serving man, then he is not a servant of Christ.
Who will you serve?
I of course think of ,
“And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. -”
You probably know the next part well, some people put it right outside their front doors, “-But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
It’s the end of the book of Joshua.
Joshua is an old man.
He tells the people, “choose this day whom you will serve ...”
Then very powerfully he says, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”
And there are some great examples of people choosing the Lord.
There are awesome examples of people in life or death situations and choosing death because they loved God more.
John Bunyan was the author of the Christian allegory, Pilgrim’s Progress.
He had a young family, that very much needed their daddy.
He had a young family, that very much needed their daddy.
He had been imprisoned for preaching the Gospel.
He was given the option to come home early, if only he stop preaching.
They told him, “Mr. Bunyan, you can come out of prison whenever you will promise to cease preaching the gospel.”
There’s the choice.
Be with your family.
Or preach the Gospel.
Bunyan’s response is golden, “If you let me out of prison today, I will preach again tomorrow, by the grace of God.”
He had a choice.
And it’s clear who He chose.
Those in charge said, “Well, then you must go back to prison.”
Without batting an eye, and demonstrating his mastery over the English language, Bunyan said, “I will go back and stay there if need be till the moss grows on my eyelids, but I will never deny my Master.”
John Bunyan was no multitasker.
He had one singular focus … the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
And not even the bribe of freedom with his family could take that from him.
.
The young church is growing, and the apostles are daily preaching the Gospel, telling people that Jesus has been resurrected from the dead.
Peter and John are arrested and thrown in to prison.
The next day, Annas and Caiaphas question Peter and John.
“By what power or by what name did you do this?”
Peter said, “let it be known to all of you and to all the people of Israel that by the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, whom you crucified, whom God raised from the dead—by him this man is standing before you well. This Jesus is the stone that was rejected by you, the builders, which has become the cornerstone. And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”
The story doesn’t end there though.
The council was impressed and intimidated by the wisdom and boldness of the uneducated Peter and John.
They were going to release them, but before they were released, they told them not to speak or teach in the name of Jesus.
They can be released, just don’t talk about Jesus.
That was the same option given to John Bunyan.
And what did Peter and John say?
, “Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you must judge, for we cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard.”
Essentially it’s better to listen to God rather then man.
Those are two great examples.
John Bunyan. Peter and John.
But the odds are you aren’t going to be arrested for illegally preaching the Gospel.
You might get kicked out of the mall for passing out Gospel tracts, but that’s about it.
You are not John Bunyan.
You are not the apostles Peter and John.
The church’s greatest problem today when it comes to this kind of choice, the battle isn’t are you willing to stand up in city square and preach unashamedly.
The battle isn’t are you willing to be beaten.
That certainly could be a part of it … way down the line.
But we aren’t there.
The problem is we surrender to the battle before we ever step foot out of the house.
We are waving the white flag before the enemy even approaches.
And Jesus knew this.
, “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not bear his own cross and come after me cannot be my disciple.”
Jesus knew that the greatest danger to you following Christ is not a foreign army, being hung, being stretched on the rack or tortured like Mel Gibson in Braveheart.
The greatest danger to you following Christ is your devotion to those you love the most.
Let me put it in simpler terms:
The greatest danger to you following Christ is your desire to please men.
John Calvin said that the human mind is an idol factory.
We take things that are good, and we turn them into idols.
Family is good.
God created it.
He made man and woman.
He designed them to be together.
It is not good for us to be alone.
He told them to reproduce, to multiply.
He created family.
Here is where our idol factories kick in.
What we do, is we turn family, into a god.
And when something is turned into a god, that is what we live for.
That is what we serve.
The gods that we worship today, are not the old gods of classical Greece and Rome.
We don’t worship a Zeus, Apollo or Hercules.
The gods we worship are not statues, with big bellies and wide smiles.
The gods that we worship are much more common.
In fact we don’t think of them as gods.
The gods that we worship are the things or people that we aim to please the most.
They are who we give up everything for.
They are:
Our:
Husbands
Wives
Mothers
Fathers
Parents
Sons
Daughters
Grandparents
Grandchildren
Employers
Employees
Friends.
These are all good things.
These are all things that God has designed to be in our lives for our benefit.
You should get married.
You should have children.
You should have friends.
You should have parents.
You should work hard for your boss.
But when we take them and:
Love them too much.
Make them our number 1 priority.
Then they become gods.
How do I know that we are making them our gods?
Because look how much you are willing to give up for them.
These people receive our highest affections.
Always wanting to make them proud.
Always wanting to please them.
Always looking back over your shoulder to see if these people approve of what you just did.
One of the saddest things I ever saw, was when I baptized a young man.
Baptism - shouldn’t that be a great thing.
I had met with the young man ahead of time.
Counseled him.
He said all the right answers.
I thought he was a great candidate to be baptized.
Then came the day when he was baptized.
The water was warmed up, something many of you have not had the privilege of.
I lowered him into the water.
Pulled him out.
And it was the look he gave when he came out of the water that made me sad.
The first thing he did was look to his dad.
He was looking for approval from his dad.
As if to say:
“Dad, was this what you wanted me to do?”
“Did I make you proud?”
Baptism.
This wonderful act, where you are proclaiming what the Lord has done for you.
This young man’s baptism, was not an act of worship for the Lord.
It was an act of worship for his father.
It was an act of devotion to his father.
He was trying to please his father.
He was looking for his father’s approval.
Paul makes it clear, this is a kingdom choice.
Because look how much you are willing to give up for them.
This is a kingdom choice.
You are either serving man or God.
You are either aiming to please man or God.
You are either hoping that man or God is pleased with you.
And it can’t be both.
There’s no multitasking here.
“If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ.”
Jesus said you cannot serve two masters.
This is a kingdom choice.
says, “He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”
God has taken us out of the the world of idolatry, and placed us in the kingdom of his beloved Son.
There’s no dual citizenship here.
In , Jesus had some rather strong words for the Laodicean church.
The Laodicean church tried to serve man and God.
In , Jesus had some rather strong words for the Laodicean church.
Do you remember what Jesus had to say about them?
The Laodicean church tried to serve man and God.
Do you remember what Jesus had to say about them?
“I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”
“I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth.”
My argument to you is that this is about living in the Kingdom of God, and living to please only Him.
Yet, like many of us we don’t like to live on the edge.
We’d rather try and find a balance.
Please people.
And please God.
But that doesn’t work.
This makes us lukewarm.
When you want a cold glass of water … you want a cold glass of water.
When you want a nice hot cup of coffee, you don’t want yesterday’s coffee that has been sitting out at room temperature.
No balance.
No in between.
Anything else Jesus will spit out of his mouth.
That brings us to our second point, this is a Dangerous Choice.
That brings us to our second point, this is a Dangerous Choice.
You ever heard of the 3 Tenors.
I don’t think anyone actually knows all their names, but we know there are 3 of them.
The only one who’s name sounds vaguely familiar Luciano Pavarotti.
One time he was talking about growing up and studying to become a singer.
His father was a baker, but encouraged him to pursue singing.
He was urged to develop his voice.
His father took him to a professional tenor in his hometown of Modena, Italy.
The singer was Arrigo Pola.
Pavarotti also enrolled in a teachers’ college.
When he graduated from teachers’ college, Pavarotti asked his father, “Shall I be a teacher or a singer?
Pavarotti’s father’s response was noteworthy.
“If you try to sit on two chairs, you will fall between them. For life you must choose one chair.”
Pavarotti chose singing.
After 7 years of study, he made his first professional appearance.
Then it took another 7 years to reach the Metropolitan Opera.
Pavarotti finished his tale by saying, “whatever we choose - we should give ourselves to it. Commitment, that’s the key. Choose one chair.”
When it comes to Who you are living for, Who you are trying to please, you’ve got to choose one chair.
If you don’t choose, you’ll fall.
God never says, “Live for me, and live for the world.”
Some of the biggest sins in the Bible happen, when someone tried to make someone else happy, and in the process brought about sin.
Adam’s just trying to be a good husband.
Maybe he read the bumper sticker, “Happy wife, happy life.”
Sin entered the world.
King Saul, had about 600 before him, and was waiting for Samuel to arrive.
Samuel got stuck in traffic and didn’t show up for 7 days.
The people started getting antsy and wanting to leave.
Saul decides he’s going to try and make them happy.
He assumes the priestly duty and started to offer sacrifices instead of Samuel.
Because of Saul’s sin, the kingdom of Israel was ripped from him, and it went to David and his family.
There are 3 dangers for Christians who can’t choose.
There are 3 dangers for Christians who are man pleasers.
First, they will cave under pressure.
If impressing others is your first priority, then anytime temptation comes, you will fall.
Think of Adam.
God commanded Adam to not eat of the fruit.
Eve handed Adam the apple.
We don’t know why Adam did what he did that day.
Maybe Adam’s just trying to be a good husband.
Maybe he read the bumper sticker, “Happy wife, happy life.”
Sin entered the world.
Men, if you want to please your wife, or your family more than you want to please God, then I promise you, you will never lead them rightly.
Parents can fall into this trap, by desiring to raise their children so the kids only have positive memories of their childhood.
I don’t think anyone ever says, “I want my kids to hate their childhood more than I hated mine.”
No, most parents want to give their children what they didn’t have.
But when a parent desires only for their children to have fun, what happens?
The parents burn themselves out on vacations.
Camping trips.
Toys
Entertainment.
And what is sacrificed?
Training the children in the fear and knowledge of the Lord.
Proverbs 22:6
A second danger for those who live to please others, is that they ignore harmful hypocrisy.
Samuel got stuck in traffic and didn’t show up for 7 days.
The people started getting antsy and wanting to leave.
Saul decides he’s going to try and make them happy.
This is one of Paul’s reasons for writing this letter.
He assumes the priestly duty and started to offer sacrifices instead of Samuel.
Peter for example had started doing this.
There was racism within the young church.
Because of Saul’s sin, the kingdom of Israel was ripped from him, and it went to David and his family.
When the church first started, it was primarily Jews.
They were very proud of their heritage.
They were very proud of their culture.
They were very proud of their traditions.
All of a sudden, all these Gentiles started believing.
These Gentiles didn’t follow the traditions or customs of the Jews.
The Jewish Christians looked down on the Gentile believers.
There was division within the church.
And Peter, the disciple, the apostle, was playing both sides.
When he was with the Gentiles, he’d eat like a Gentile.
Have his pulled pork sandwiches, and shrimp and lobster.
Then when he was with the Jews, everything was Kosher.
But then he’d condemn those very Gentiles he was just eating with.
Peter became a hypocrite because he was focused on pleasing the Jewish Christians.
Because he put their approval above what God had said was good, he welcomed hypocrisy.
Parents, you do this when you tell your children, they need to love God.
You teach them of what Christ had done.
You teach them of mercy and of grace.
You teach them how important it is to be in church.
You make them go to Bible Study.
The hypocrisy is when you don’t feel like getting up on a Sunday yourself
This happens in the church today, when we welcome aberrant teachings, or even sinful behavior just to make people happy.
The American church is struggling with homosexuality.
You know why?
Because the Bible says it is a sin, but we want to make the world happy.
Let me make this one personal, and it is a hard one for me.
We are a small church.
And we need each and everyone of you.
But there are a bunch, who are sporadic in their participation and attendance.
You should be here every week.
You should be here on Wednesdays.
And your not.
So maybe this is more my sin.
I should confront you.
But I don’t want to offend you.
We are small.
What if I offend you and you leave.
I don’t want that to happen.
So to make you happy, I don’t say anything.
And your hypocritical behavior is welcomed, because I want to make you happy.
Man pleasing welcomes hypocritical behavior.
The third danger of man pleasing, is hiding from the Cross itself.
Another way to phrase that is being ashamed of the Gospel.
The Elders have recently begun being trained in Biblical Counseling.
We are looking forward to the day, when we are able to counsel people through the difficulties of life.
Biblical Counseling is pretty simple.
It’s really just believing God’s Word, and applying it to our lives.
It’s living in obedience to Christ and living under the Lordship of Jesus.
The goal of Biblical Counseling is discipleship.
Helping people become more like Christ.
Biblical Counseling will not work if we are man pleasers.
Suppose we have a situation where a man has fallen into sin.
Our goal is not to help him feel better about his sin.
We are not going to lessen the sin, or make it seem like less of a big deal.
Instead, sin is called sin.
It is shown to be offensive.
And then we take them to the Cross.
But if we never call sin sin, and lead them to Christ, what have we done?
We’ve made their journey to Hell easier.
You’ve got to choose a chair.
Lastly, pleasing God is the Freeing Choice.
Lastly, pleasing God is the Freeing Choice.
How do we do this?
Earlier, I had said that our families may become idols.
Or your job can be an idol.
Just to be absolutely clear, I am not saying:
Quit your job.
Abandon your family.
Or stop serving others.
Because we definitely need to keep working.
says, “If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat.”
We need to work.
Wives you need to submit to your husbands.
Husbands you need to love, and listen and understand your wives.
Fathers, you need to not be too hard on your kids.
So how do we continue:
Working hard.
Submitting, loving and serving one another, without compromise?
First, do all things for Christ.
We do these things because we are servants of Christ.
says, “Bondservants, obey your earthly masters with fear and trembling, with a sincere heart, as you would Christ, not by the way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, doing the will of God from the heart,”
Motivation is important.
If our serving of others, or loving others is based on how we feel about them or how we want them to feel about us … then that service and our love will be fickle.
When people are on your good side … you’ll work hard.
But when people test your patience, it’s optional.
And let’s be honest, we will disappoint each other.
There will be times, you are asked to serve or love someone who is irritating, grumpy, or just plain mean.
Your motivation cannot be because you like them, because I promise you, you will not like them.
We are told to work, not as people-pleasers, but as bondservants of Christ, as slaves of Christ.
Our motivation for working, loving, serving, is that Christ has commanded us to.
The second way that we serve others without compromise is by fearing God.
says, “Bondservants, obey in everything those who are your earthly masters, not by way of eye-service, as people-pleasers, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord.”
Our minds have a tendency to make idols out of good things.
We make idols out of the things that God has blessed us with.
Israel came out of Egypt.
One of the first things they did was make a golden calf.
Where’d they get the gold from?
Egypt.
God so defeated the Egyptians through the plagues, that the Egyptians gave the Israelites gold and jewelry on the way out.
Israel then turned the gold, those blessings into idols.
God has blessed you with a families.
How do we avoid becoming like the Israelites and turning them into an idol?
By fearing God.
, “The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge ...”
This is not a cowering fear.
It’s an understanding of His greatness and His sovereignty.
Always remembering Him and remembering His authority over us, forces us to become good stewards of what He has given us, as opposed to slaves to what He has given us.
And lastly, how do we serve others without becoming a man pleaser, by considering the Cross.
If you are a man pleaser, you feel indebted to everyone else.
You feel as if you have to impress them.
You are trying to get their approval.
In your mind, you always have this feeling that your worth, your value, is based on what others think of you.
Did you make your dad proud?
Do your kids like you?
Does your wife respect?
Does your husband think you keep a good home?
Is your mentor proud?
This kind of thinking is not just wrong, but it rejects what Christ has done for you.
says, “You were bought with a price; do not become bondservants of men.”
Jesus bought you when He died on the Cross.
The price was His life.
The exchange was made.
You now belong to Him.
If you are always looking over your shoulder, wondering what others think … you’re looking in the wrong direction.
Because they don’t own you.
Your boss doesn’t own you.
Your kids don’t own you.
Your parents don’t own you.
The world hears this and they agree, but they take it the wrong way.
With a sassy attitude they say, “I can do whatever I want. You’re not my judge. God judges me.”
And they continue in their sin.
If Christ owns you, then you are now a slave of Him.
There is an expectation.
Philippians says to work out your salvation with fear and trembling.
We live not as man pleasers, but as servants of Christ, as Christ pleasers.
When you stop to consider the Cross:
The payment that was given.
The one who gave it to you.
You no longer have to look to others to get approval, you look to Christ.
Christ bought you.
Christ was judged for you.
Now we have true and genuine freedom.
Freedom from trying to please others.
Freedom from living in the shadow of others.
Freedom to enjoy the life that God has appointed for you.
Freedom to work hard - because you do it in the name of Christ.
Work hard because you do it in the name of Christ.
Freedom to love your families and to care for them - because you know Jesus who gave up His life for you.
We live busy lives.
We live busy lives.
You are a diverse people.
We like many things.
We do many things.
And it’s very easy to become slaves to these things.
To let them run our lives.
Becoming slaves to the added expectations put upon us.
Then you feel as if you are pulled in a million directions.
You are multitasking your loyalty, which doesn’t work.
Let’s go back to being a single-minded people.
Fixated on Christ.
Fixated on what He’s done.
Living for Him.