Bad Parenting 101

It has been said that we learn more from our mistakes then from our success stories. With that being said, welcome to Bad Parenting 101 where we will take a look at the examples of bad parenting in the bible to help us understand how to be good parents.

Situation

The book of Genesis is filled with parents who have made terrible decisions. These decisions include work, favoritism, and deception. If these decisions were made differently not only would their families benefit but history itself would benefit as well.

Let's look at 3 families in the Old Testament who made terrible decisions and one family in the New Testament that made some great decisions.

Solution

Eli and His Sons

The first family we are going to spend some time on can be found in . Eli was the High Priest at the time and he might be the best candidate for the worst father award. Eli was not ignorant when it came to parenting the conditions of his sons. In fact he had many warnings from God's prophets that if he did not discipline his boys, his entire family would suffer for it.

Hophni and Phinehas were absolutely terrible priests and sons. They cheated and threatened people as they came to the sanctuary so much that people feared the dwelling place of God. They did unspeakable acts in the sanctuary, but the blame isn't only on Hophni and Phinehas but also on Eli.

1 Samuel 2:23 ESV

And he said to them, “Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all these people.

23 And he said to them, “Why do you do such things? For I hear of your evil dealings from all these people.

1 Samuel 2:

The Holy Bible: English Standard Version. (2016). (). Wheaton, IL: Crossway Bibles.

Eli didn't discipline his children which resulted in their terrible behavior. Not only did he neglect to discipline them, but he filled his time with the duties of the High Priest and did not spend time with his children. Eli spent too much time with his job and his family suffered for it. Not only would his family suffer in the battle with the Philistines but the entire nation of Israel would suffer for it as well.

How the story could have been different if Eli disciplined and spent time with his boys.

Issac and Rebekah's Favoritism

The book of Genesis, there is one family line who commits terrible parental mistakes and it begins with Issac and Rebekah. Issac and Rebekah of course had two boys, Jacob and Esau and the parents decided to have favorites. This is never a good idea. Not only is there favoritism, but there is also deceit in the family. Now this might be forgivable if the deceit is the fault of the sons and not the parents, but that is not the case.

Within the story, we find that the mother, Rebekah, convinces Jacob her favorite son to continue on his journey of deceiving his father Issac by dressing up like his brother Esau.

Genesis 27:5–8 ESV

Now Rebekah was listening when Isaac spoke to his son Esau. So when Esau went to the field to hunt for game and bring it, Rebekah said to her son Jacob, “I heard your father speak to your brother Esau, ‘Bring me game and prepare for me delicious food, that I may eat it and bless you before the Lord before I die.’ Now therefore, my son, obey my voice as I command you.

Genesis 27:5-8

If there is anyone who can pick up on favoritism quickly its kids, no matter the age. Instead of adding more fuel to the rivalry between Jacob and Esau, we have a great opportunity to teach the importance of forgiveness and the importance of truth. What would this family unit look like if Issac and Rebekah had not picked favorites and Rebekah had seen the teaching moment for what it was?

Instead of Jacob running in fear of his brother, could they have worked side by side? Could there just be one nation instead of the Edomites and the Israelites? And maybe would their parents trait of favoritism still continue on when Jacob had children of his own?

Parenting Two Difficult Children

In the Pharisees are grumbling about the fact that Jesus eats and sits with sinners. Jesus responds to them by telling 3 parables, all dealing with something that was lost. For our last story on parenting lets look at a father who dealt with two difficult children. His choices in the beginning might seem strange, but make more sense at the end of the story.

In the story Jesus tells, there is a father who has two sons.

The youngest son is tired asks his father for his inheritance so that he can leave home and make a name for himself. Foolishly the son picks the reckless life and looses his entire inheritance. Life turns from being wonderful to completely hopeless that the only course of action he thinks he can pursue is to return to his father.

Upon returning home, instead of disciplining the youngest son, the father embraces him and holds a party in his honor. There is no discipline at all and favoritism seems to run rampant. But when we take a closer look, we find that the behavior of the father is right.

Luke 15:20–24 ESV

And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.

Luke 15:20-24

What would happen if the father had punished the youngest son for his immaturity and foolishness instead of embracing him? If the father had reacted with hate and anger instead of love, what would the future of their relationship look like? The youngest son did need discipline, but he also needed love and acceptance. Never again would he look at home the same way.

While there is a party for the younger son going on in the house. The oldest son has been outside in the fields working. The older son never left home, he was always loyal and a hard working son. But when he sees how his father reacts to the return of his younger brother, the older brother is filled with jealousy.

What does the father do in response to the oldest son’s jealousy? He explains how much he values the oldest son and the reason for the celebration. The story ends with their conversation. We don’t know if the older brother ever went into the house to celebrate or if he stayed outside in his jealousy. But what we do have is a beautiful picture of the father. This is the kind of father we would all want.

He is loving toward both sons and gave each son exactly what they needed. The younger son didn’t need to be lectured, he needed to be loved and instructed how to correctly use his money.

The older son though jealous needed to learn how to love those who have backslidden.

Conclusion

Though not a parent, it can be seen how the actions and choices of the parents affect their children. In the case of Eli and his sons there was a great need for discipline and to spend time with his sons. With Issac and Rebekah, there mistake was a combination of favoritism and deceit. But with the father of the prodigal son, we find that there is a time for everything.

Appeal

As you teach, discipline, and grow with your children, take this lessons and examples found in the bible and ask God to lead you as a parent so you too like the father in might be the greatest parent you possibly can be.

Related Media

Related Sermons