Genesis 2:24-25 - Marriage
Genesis 2:24-25 - Marriage
If there is one topic that I enjoy talking about, it is marriage. We are continuing our study of God's Word from the book of Genesis. At this moment we are in Genesis 2:24-25.
FIRST -- GOD DID NOT RUSH ADAM IN MARRIAGE. GEN. 2:18-20
SECOND - There Was Preparation For Marriage. 2:18-20
THIRD - When God Provides a Mate For you, He Will Not Provide a Mate Just Like You. GEN. 2:21-22
FOURTH - When You First Meet Your Future Spouse, It Will Be a Divine Meeting. GEN. 2:22
FIFTH -- RECOGNIZE THAT MARRIAGE BRINGS YOU INTO A NEW RELATIONSHIP.
24 For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. 25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. NASV
When you become married there is a change. The most immediate change is that your focus changes to your spouse. Before you were married your focus could have been your job, a hobby, or just being with others. But at marriage your focus becomes your spouse.
You see the key words in verse 24, "LEAVE, CLEAVE, and ONE FLESH," are all directed to your husband or
your wife. Before marriage you could be a work alcoholic and most like it did not bother anyone. Or maybe you were a hobby alcoholic. You spend all your free time around a hobby and that didn't bother anyone. Or maybe you spent all your free time with your friends and that did not bother anyone.
But now that your married a new relationship has developed where you need to spend key time with your wife or your husband.
You see your husband or your wife becomes your best friend. Your wife does not become your house cleaner and cook and the husband does not become just a person who brings in money to spend. Your spouse become your very best friend.
second -- be there for your SPOUSE.
How many of you like to bowl? I have recently discovered how to bowl a 300 game. You will enjoy the game like you never have before. Here is the secret. The length of a bowling alley is approximately 62 feet. Don't bowl from 60 feet, bowl from 15 feet. The majority of bowling will be strikes. And when you leave a spare, you will always make it.
What am I saying? I'm saying this, error increases with distance. In other words, if you're going to make an impact on your marriage you must be there, on site, consistently.
Genesis 2:24 tells us how that comes about.
24 For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh. NASV
The word "LEAVE." The Hebrew word means "severing, losing, departing from." Now notice who your are to leave.
Some married partners have trouble leaving their parents. There are at least 2 ways that couples need to leave their parents. One is financially, (emotionally and in the decision making realm.)
There needs to be a financial severance. That does not mean that as parents we will never give our children any money or try to help them. Every loving parent will help out their children within reason, right. I'm talking about where the young married couple receive constant and consistent financial support from their parents.
When a young couple constantly keeps running back to mommy and daddy to receive financial help they are not building character.
There is something about going to hard times that seems to glue a marriage together. Struggles bond young couples together.
When parents consistently, month after month, give money to their married kids, they rob their child the process of maturity. There needs to be a financial severance.
There needs to be an emotional severance. Not that you quit loving your kids, or your kids stop loving you. I'm talking about when we as parents nose into our children's marriage.
THIRD -- BE THERE FOR YOUR PARENTS.
Let me share with you how you can be there for your parents.
Have a compassionate concern and love for your parents.
There are more and more parents living longer, but for what? The greatest demonstration of love that be manifested by a child is the demonstration of love directed to towards a parent whose hair has turned gray, whose walk is not as fast, who's hearing is going, and whose sight is not all there. You, as a child, need to remember your parents birthday, anniversary, Mother's Day, Fathers Day, Easter, Thanksgiving, or Christmas.
We are going to be called to account by how we treat our parents. An article appeared in the Ann Landers column. It said, "It was grandfathers birthday, he was 79. He got up early, shaved, showered, combed his hair, and put on his Sunday best so he would look nice when they came. He skipped his daily walk to the town cafe, where he had coffee with his friends. He wanted to be home when they came. He put his chair on the sidewalk, so he could get a better view of the street. At noon he got tired. But he didn't take a nap so he would be ready when they came. The rest of the afternoon he spent near the telephone so he could answer it when they called. He has 5 children, 13 grandchildren
and 3 great grandchildren and one son and daughter lives within 10 miles of his place. They have not visited him for a long time. But today was his birthday. And surely they would come. At supper time he sat on the porch, waiting. At 8:30 he went to his room to prepare for bed. Before retiring, he left a note on the door which read, Be sure to wake me up when they come. For it's my 79 birthday. Be there for your spouse. Be there for your family. Be there for your parents.
...and shall cleave to his wife...
The Hebrew word for "CLEAVE" means to bond, to attach to. It can be translated to glue or to cling to.
THIRD -- RECOGNIZE THE PERMANENCE OF MARRIAGE.
24 Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. (KJV)
Jesus quotes this Scripture in Matthew chapter 19. And He quotes Genesis 2:24 to teach us that marriage is a lasting relationship. Not a throw away relationship.
Look at Matthew 19:3. The Pharisee's approached Jesus trying to trick Him. Trying to make Him make a mistake. So they asked Him a difficult question. The Pharisee's themselves could not even agree on the answer to the question.
What was the question?
3 The Pharisees also came unto him, tempting him, and saying unto him, Is it lawful for a man to put away (divorce) his wife for every cause? (KJV)
The question is, can a man divorce his wife for any reason? Jesus, can man divorce His wife if he does not love her any more? Jesus, can a man divorcee His wife because she doesn't keep a clean house? Jesus, can a man divorce his wife because now that she had to have surgery she is physically deformed? Jesus, can a man divorce his wife because she is not as quite beautiful as she used to be?
And what is Jesus answer? Verse 4.
4 And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which, he made them at the beginning made them male and female, 5 And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they two shall be one flesh? 6 Wherefore they are no more two, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. (KJV)
Now look at the question the Pharisee's shoot back at Jesus. Verse 7.
7 They say unto him, Why did Moses then command to give a writing of divorcement, and to put her away? (KJV)
8 He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts permitted... (KJV)
Do you see the difference? The Pharisee's said to Jesus, "If we can't divorce, why did Moses command us to divorce? And Jesus is saying, "Moses did not command divorce, he allowed it. And the only reason he allowed divorce because of the hardness of your heart. So don't glorify Matthew 19:7 and thinking, "I'm dumping her because I found another who loves me." Jesus says, "You should go back to the beginning and read what God says about divorce."
Today it is so easy to get a divorce. There is the no fault divorce. All one has to do today is file for a divorce and it will be granted. I have heard that there is even a divorce kit you can buy.
God's view of marriage is permanence. It is not debt do us part. It is not a lack of communication that is to tear us a part. It is not a lack of compatibility that is to get us to part. Jesus said, "In the beginning it was no so."
Did you know that marriage is a covenant? God sees marriage as a valid contract that man is not to break. I know what the laws of Washington State say. Washington state says, "If you want a divorce, you can have one. But what I want to know is, what does God say." God says, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder."
Now some of you have been divorced. Where do you stand with God? Because of the precious blood of Jesus and His grace you stand with God.
When God created marriage, only one think was to break a marriage and that was death.
In Arnold Park, Iowa there is a tombstone that just stands out. It does not stand out because it his tall or wide. It does not stand out because it is a beautiful tombstone. In fact it is just averaging in looks. As a matter the tombstone had just a typical name and a normal date of birth and death. The name on the tombstone is John L. Logan. He was born in 1810 and died in 1889. But what makes this tombstone stand out is what is written on it. In scribed on the tombstone are these words: "Till Death Due Us Part. Happily Married for 54 Years, 8 Months, and 12 Days."
In those days there were no washing machines, no clothes dryers, no running water, no heat for the house. In those days the average number of children in a family was 7 to 9. There were no disposable diapers. Everyone that was done in the house and outside the house was done by hand.
Think about the hard times they must have gone through. There was a lot of sickness, probably even a death of a child. Think of how many hours a day he must have spent on his farm. Think of how many hours she must have spent keeping the house and kids.
And yet she says it was "54 years and 8 months and 12 days of martial bliss." And they had a happy marriage without a TV, VCR, radio, movie theater, car, phone. They just did it. I praise God for that.
We need couples like that who will say, "We are going to stay together." I told my wife, if she ever leaves me, I'm going with her."
...and they shall become one flesh. NASV
A husband says, "What about my rights?" I see no where in God's word, where it talks about rights in marriage. Anybody who has been married for 15 minutes has lost their rights. There are no rights in marriage. That's a myth. No where in Scripture can you find the Bible saying, "Husbands, these are your rights, demand them, and insist upon them." You will not find that in Scripture.
In counseling a man will say, "But pastor, I have my rights in marriage. I demand the right to have a clean shirt that is freshly ironed. And I demand the right to eat food that is cooked on time and that does not poison me." When a man talks like that he is talking out of ignorance. There are no rights in marriages, but I will tell you what there is in marriage. There are responsibilities in marriage. But nowhere in Scripture are you called to police the responsibility level of your wife. No where in Scripture are you called upon, like a teacher in school, to give a grade to your wife. Men I'll tell you what your responsibility in marriage is. Your responsibility in marriage is to love your wife as Jesus Christ loved the church. That is the role in marriage. I do not think you can be committed in marriage until you focus on your role in marriage. To love your wife like Christ loves the church. When you do that, then your wife will respect you. We need to be committed to our spouse.
When you have a love like that you're going to be committed to your family. You're not going to let the devil get a foothold in your marriage. You're going to forgive and forget. You're going to guard
your though life. You're going to keep your eyes pure, because you're committed to a special jewel called your wife.
(1) Expect and live with change.
The only thing certain in life is change. People change through the years. Sometimes a person will say, "I'm going to get a divorce, because this is not the same person I married." That is a foolish statement. People don't stay the same.
Not only are you committing yourself to that person on your wedding day, you are committing yourself to whomever that person may become in the years to come. Have your forgotten your wedding vows? "I give myself to you for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do us part." We all change, so we need to expect it and live with change.
(2) Accept what cannot be changed.
Sometimes people come to me and say, "I've got a problem with my marriage and it's his fault."
Or someone may say, "If he would only change."
Understand this, we cannot change our mate. Write it down. We cannot change our mate. The only behavior we can change is our own.
But we can change our attitude toward our mate's behavior. Our attitude is the only thing we have control over.
Maybe you heard the funny about the bride. She was so nervous as she was standing at the back of the church for her wedding, she said, "I forgot what I'm supposed to do at the wedding." The wedding director said, "It is very simple, just remember three things: Walk down the aisle, walk toward the altar and, walk toward the groom. Remember those three things, the aisle, the altar, and him." She went down the aisle saying, "Aisle, altar, him: I'll, alter, him."
The only thing we can change is our behavior and our response to their behavior.
(3) Decide to stay together.
In other words, don't even make separation an option to consider. Don't be married for a few years and then decide, "Are we going to get a divorce or not?" Go ahead and decide up front from the very beginning, "I have decided we're going to stay together.
Sometimes all it takes is persistence, stubborn persistence, staying with your mate in good times and bad times. I want to finish by telling you a story about an old mule that fell down a well. It didn't kill the mule down in the well, he was just making a racket. The old farmer walked over and looked at the mule and thought about how much trouble it would be to get the mule out of the well and decided he wasn't worth it. He said, "I'm going to bury the mule in the well." He called his
neighbors over and said, "We're going to fill this well in with dirt and bury this mule. He ain't worth saving."
So they began to dig and dump, and here's the old mule down in the well, with dirt falling all over him. The mule had an important decision to make. Was he just going to give up and be buried or was he going to do something about it? The old mule did something very wise. Every time a shovel full of dirt was thrown on him, he just shook it off, stepped on it, and would rise above it. Next shovel full of dirt, shake it off, step on it, rise above it.
Now, you understand that in marriage, sometimes you're the dumper and sometimes you're the dumpee. Boom. Shake it off, step on top of it, and rise above it. You know what happened. The well kept filling up with dirt, until finally the mule was able to shake it off, step on top of it, rise above it, and walk right out of the well, free and happy.
Friends, sometimes when things are tough in your marriage, and you're being dumped on, sometimes the smart thing to do is shake it off, step on it, and rise above it.
(4) Invite God into your marriage.
Listen to what Jesus said, "What God has joined together, don't let any man tear apart." Listen carefully: If you are considering a divorce, and you want to know God's will for your marriage, I will tell you. Here is God's will for your marriage, bottom line, exclamation point, no ifs, ands, or buts about
it. "What God has joined together, let no man put asunder." Period. That is God's will for your marriage.
Do you remember the first miracle Jesus performed when He went to the wedding at Canaan? The hosts ran out of wine. Jesus took water and turned it into wine.
One little kid in Sunday School heard the story of Jesus turning the water into wine, and was asked, "What is the lesson of the story?" He said, "When you have a wedding, it's a good idea to invite Jesus."
When you have a marriage, it is a good idea to invite Jesus in your marriage.