Sermon Tone Analysis

Introduction

Last week we talked about dysfunction.

I would encourage you all, if you missed last week, check out the website and watch it as it will lay the foundations for today and the rest of the series.

We are going through a series on marriage and we are looking at how God wants to be the foundation of your marriage and the center of your marriage.

Last week Rodney talked about dysfunction in marriage and this week we are going to talk about sacrifice in marriage.

What you’re going to see is that often times dysfunction can be a result of sacrifice.

Meaning, you give something up and then is weighs on your soul.

It constantly bites at you making yuo regret your decision.

When we think about Marriage and sacrifice, the two are not mutually exclusive.

Marriage is a sacrifice.

If you go into marriage thinking you aren’t going to sacrifice anything, you will get hit by a fully loaded train of reality.

From the beginning of marriage to the very end, sacrifice happens all along the way.

Marriage starts as a the surrender of two individuals coming together to become one flesh.

Then you find out your pregnant and then your world get even tighter.

You are required to give up even more for the sake of your kids.

I asked my wife to help me think of the 3 main things we have to sacrifice as young parents of two little girls.

She quickly listed off about 20 and made me forget the question I was even asking.

She said the most difficult of all was giving up caffeine during pregnancy.

Our quick list of sacrifices.

Never getting to eat warm meals

Never taking a shower or a bathroom alone

Rarely having the ability to have conversations with spouse with a attention needy child hanging off your arm.

Silence (Pause) - “I needed that”; “this message is very therapeutic for me”

The top three sacrifices we make in marriage with young kids.

Personal Space

You are the official zoo keeper of the Westby state zoo.

Time

Friendship

All the fears of raising kids.

Our lifegroup sent out a message about eating out for lunch today, everyone promptly responded but the Westby’s have yet to.

Sacrifice in Action

If you ever want to see sacrifice in action, just turn around and look at the back 3 rows.

That is where my wife and I sit because thats where the families with young kids are put.

In fact last week my wife set the example of sacrifice in action.

We were sitting in the second to last row with our two girls; Rodney was in the middle of his sermon.

I left to talk with Greg the worship guy and after about 5 minutes I see the door fling open and my wife come barreling out of the sanctuary with Junie, our 7 month old in hand.

Her frantic eyes locked with mine and she calmly but desperately said, “Get your daughter!”

I looked past my frantic/quiet wife to my little 3 year old, Elsie to see her lips pucker up and then start to cry, loudly.

I quickly ran in, grabbed her and pulled her out.

As i was moving in to remove the child, Rodney did what he normally does and gives the, “if you have a crying kid feel free to take them to the nursery or walk around out in the lobby.”

We were that family last week.

If you want to see what it looks like to stay sane in the midst of a dysfunctional marriage; if you want to prepare yourself for the sacrifices to come or learn how to maintain sanity in the sacrifice you are in, then join me in our story today.

In our story we enter into the beginning of the book of Samuel by looking at the life and Marriage of two people who will quickly become three.

It is the marriage of Elkanah and Hannah.

Main Points

Elkanah was a god fearing man.

He regularly made sacrifices to the Lord at Shiloh.

He imparted that desire to please God into his kids by bringing them with.

Elkanah is a godly man, not always the brightest but he’s not a bum who sits on his mamas couch.

Elkanah loved his wife, Hannah.

Sacrifice is Messy

But scripture tells us something else rather interesting about their marriage, they weren’t the only ones.

Elkanah had two wives.

Polygamy Rant

Polygamy was a common feature of the culture surrounding the Old Testament.

Polygamy happened for several reasons: Lust for power; Security; reproduction.

explicitly forbids taking a second wife it says “He shall not multiply wives for himself.”

Elkanah loved his wife!

It says at the meal following the sacrifice he gave her a double portion because he loved her! Hannah was his girl

So why does this “godly” man have a second wife?

We are not told why Elkanah had two wives but the text gives us a good indicator as to why he married someone else other than Hannah.

- The Lord had shut up her womb.

She was Barren, she couldn’t have a baby.

She was Barren, she couldn’t have a baby.

In their culture a woman having a baby was everything.

Her identity wasn’t in herself, it was in her family, the ones she produced.

She was to be the Matriarch, this was Hannahs role, this was her identity, but she couldn’t fulfill it.

This brought an internal shame and created a dysfunction that she could never resolve.

If Hannah could not provide a child then they had to do something, or so they thought.

they did what their forefathers, Abraham and Sarah did.

they brought in backup.

The irony about this story is that the Bible is not endorsing polygamy…in any way, rather it will undermine it because it represents human beings trying to accomplish what only God can accomplish.

If this is true, which I think it is, then Hannah and Elkanah were trying to force Gods hand and it creates a massive rift in their marriage, and opens the floodgates to disfunction.

Any time polygamy in the OT is talked about it is seen in light of utter dysfunction and chaos.

Sacrifice means giving up control

Hannah has Sacrificed for her husband by stepping aside for another woman.

She sacrificed her position as Matriarch of the family so the family line could continue through another.

In this story Hannah is going to make a bad sacrifice (finding a replacement wife) and then a good sacrifice (Offer her son back to the Lord in service)

Elkanah and Hannah tried to control the situation, rather than trust in God and in end it backfiring on them.

Peninnah was jealous of Hannah being the loved wife and so she mocked her ruthlessly.

Their plan backfired and now Hannah and Elkanah were dealing with the dysfunction.

Their decision to bring in another wife and have kids through her is draining Hannah and also Elkanah.

This is evident in the dinner scene.

She must overcome two obstacles.

Her Husband - -

Her day gets worse!

Her Priest (Eli) -

Everywhere Hannah went she encountered people who did not understand the emotional state she was in.

They did not understand the sacrifice she had made.

Have you ever had a moment where you just needed someone to understand and not try and solve a problem for you?

My wife and I moved out here 6 years ago and she move here from one of the most beautiful places in the Willamette Valley, Oregon.

She moved to good ol’ flat South Dakota.

Initially this was really hard for her.

Being away from home and her family.

Not having hiking or mountains within looking distance.

I asked to verify this but I never once said anything along the lines of “Aren’t the snow capped cars better to you than 10 snow capped mountains?”

Ashley had to give up control of the situation and trust God.

Rather than process the emotion of the event, Ashley bottled up the emotions and didn’t realize the consequences of saying yes to me in marriage and moving to the most exciting state in America, where the state promotional line is “Why die on Mars when you can live in South Dakota”

PLAY MARS VIDEO, That was my pick up line to convince Ashley to move here.

We had reached Belle Fousche and gotten a hotel room and I walked into the room later to find my wife in the middle of a panic attack, where she was having a hard time breathing.