Ownership-Settling Disputes in the Church
Ownership: Settling Disputes in the Church
Acts 15:36-41
Learning to Fight Fair
Learning to fight fair involves following some simple rules:
1. Refuse to employ the silent treatment
When we refuse to talk about our problems, we allow them to build up and snowball into a bundle of problems that are difficult to sort out and face. And when people open up, we must be willing to LISTEN rather than FORMULATING a RESPONSE.
Ecclesiastes 3:1 (NLT)
1 For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.
Ecclesiastes 3:7 (NLT)
7 A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak.
2. Focus on the issue, not personalities—Attack the problem, not each other. Don’t use innuendos, slurs, sarcasm, or “smart” remarks in the discussion.
Romans 14:13 (Phillips NT)
13 Let us therefore stop turning critical eyes on one another. If we must be critical, let us be critical of our own conduct and see that we do nothing to make a brother stumble or fall.
3. Avoid tackling multiple issues—We can’t fix everything at the same time. Trying to take on several issues at once will only cause confusion and frustration.
4. Avoid bringing up the past
Philippians 3:13 (NLT)
13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it, but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead,
5. Avoid using generalities—you ALWAYS, you NEVER—and EXAGGERATION
Ephesians 4:15 (TLB)
15 Instead, we will lovingly follow the truth at all times--speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly --and so become more and more in every way like Christ who is the Head of his body, the Church. Under his direction, the whole body is fitted together perfectly, and each part in its own special way helps the other parts, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.
6. Accept responsibility for your part in the problem—
James 5:16 (NLT)
16 Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.
Proverbs 28:13 (NLT)
13 People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.
7. Apply forgiveness generously
Ephesians 4:32 (NLT)
32 Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.
Proverbs 17:9 (TLB)
9 Love forgets mistakes; nagging about them parts the best of friends.
Colossians 3:13 (TLB)
13 Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
8. Avoid emphasizing what the other person is doing to hurt you; rather emphasize how you perceive their behavior. Don’t throw your feelings at others. Instead, try to help them understand how you are feeling and why.
Ephesians 4:15 (TLB)
15 Instead, we will lovingly follow the truth at all times--speaking truly, dealing truly, living truly --and so become more and more in every way like Christ who is the Head of his body, the Church. Under his direction, the whole body is fitted together perfectly, and each part in its own special way helps the other parts, so that the whole body is healthy and growing and full of love.
9. Offer solutions with your criticisms
Proverbs 15:23 (AMP)
23 A man has joy in making an apt answer, and a word spoken at the right moment—how good it is!
10. Keep a constant check on your temper
11. James 1:19-20 (NLT)
19 Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.
20 Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires.