The Influence of A Virtuous Wife
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Introduction:
Introduction:
We have come to remember the earthly life of our dear sister, mother and wife, Nina Faye Martin-Merritt. Nina began her life with Christ here in the congregation of Zion Orthodox Primitive Baptist Church. She was a member of this church fellowship at the time that Zion moved from what is now Blake over to Fiske. She sang in the choir and learned to love the Lord.
I mention this in my introduction, because it is her Christian experience and her conversion to the kingdom of God that obviously has affected and re-directed her entire life. When I asked the Lord what would He have me to say about Nina Faye, He turned my attention to Proverbs, chapter 31, that begins verse 1.
Though, we know nothing about King Lemuel, what we do know is that his mother spoke to him with an urgent appeal for him to act wisely in one of the two most important decisions in life.
The two most important decisions a person can ever make is; 1. to choose whom you will live with as your husband or wife here on planet earth, and; 2. whom you will spend the rest of eternity with, by accepting or rejecting Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior.
A. TEMPTATION OF THE STRANGE WOMAN
A. TEMPTATION OF THE STRANGE WOMAN
The mother of King Lemuel informed him in verse 3 of chapter 31 that the wrong kind of woman could ruin him for life. The book of Proverbs is filled with warnings to young and old men about hooking up with the wrong woman. The writer Jim Newheiser affirms this in his book “Opening Up Proverbs.” as he uses the scriptures of Proverbs to prove his assertions. He writes,
“The Strange Woman, like strong drink, will drain your strength. She will seduce you, encouraging you to be unfaithful to your marriage vows (7:21–22). If you marry her, she will be unfaithful to you (2:17). She is the opposite of the virtuous wife. Instead of strengthening your house, she will demolish it: ‘The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish tears it down with her own hands’ (14:1). She will neglect your family (7:11). She will bankrupt you financially (6:31). She will ruin your reputation (6:33). She will distract you from your calling. You will be so busy trying to please her (and she is hard to please!) that you will have little time left for your vocation. You won’t be able to trust her to run your home. Your kids will be out of control. You will be constantly fighting domestic fires. This woman will surely wear you out!”
This is what happens when a man succumbs to the tempting of the strange woman. However, Not only do I see the temptation of the strange woman in the text, I see...
B. AN OBSERVATION OF THE EXCELLENT WIFE
B. AN OBSERVATION OF THE EXCELLENT WIFE
In verses 10-27 of chapter 31, we learn from the writer of Proverbs that an excellent wife will contribute and commit to a man’s success in life! Verse 10 begins by emphasizing the worth of an excellent wife. It tells us that she is hard to find among other women and her worth is far above jewels!
The Hebrew word for “virtuous” is the same word that is translated for “strength” in verse 3. This word is also used and translated as “valiant warriors.”
In other words, the Bible is telling us that virtue in this regard is not just moral standing and uprightness in a woman, but this sort of virtue refers to strength that is directed and passed on to all that she comes in contact with.
This is the strength that Nina Faye possessed and it is the strength that everybody admired in her.
Though men often would like to suggest that their success came by “pulling themselves up by their bootstraps,” most men in this room and beyond owe their strength, success and standing in life to a strong helpmate. They owe their triumph to the female who rejected their willingness to settle for mediocrity in exchange for pressing towards greatness.
Most of us remember Hillary Clinton for her bid as the Democratic Party’s Candidate for the 2016 Presidential Election. However, she is known for this amusing story that was circulated during the early days of the campaign.
During one stop in Chicago on her nationwide bus tour, a man that looked familiar reached out to shake Hillary Clinton’s hand from the crowd of admirers. As she spoke to him, she identified the gentleman as a former high school acquaintance of hers and admitted that they had dated in high school for a short time. The press immediately picked up on the story and wanted more information on the “mystery man.” The press crowded the man and wanted to know his name and address. He replied in a non-descriptive fashion that his name was Thomas Hale from Park Ridge, Illinois.
One reporter asks what he did for a living. He looked up and confessed that he had been employed for the last 13 years as a trash collector, to which the crowd responded with an awkward, almost embarrassing chuckle.
Mrs. Clinton reached out and shook the man’s hand, thanking him for his support during the upcoming election and returned to the bus.
Afterward, a male reporter sat in the seat in front of her and made the statement; Mrs. Clinton, you should be happy that Bill came along when he did. If you would’ve married Thomas Hale, today you would’ve been the wife of a trash collector.
Not missing a beat, she immediately replied; “Oh no sir.” , “If I had married Thomas Hale, he would’ve been president.”
As he was returning to the car, he noticed that the attendant and his wife were engaged in an animated conversation. The conversation stopped as he paid the attendant. But as he was getting back into the car, he saw the attendant wave and heard him say, “It was great talking to you.”
As they drove away from the station, Wheeler asked his wife if she knew the man. She readily admitted she did know him. They had gone to high school together and had dated steadily for about a year.
“Boy, you were lucky that I came along,” Bragged Wheeler. If you had married him, you’d be the wife of a gas station attendant instead of the wife of a chief executive officer of a fortune 500 company.
All I’m saying is that as men, we are either blessed by our helpmates or cursed by them. The women in the lives of men can either make them or break them. They can either lift them up, or drag them down.
Well, Nina Faye Merritt, was a blessing to her entire family. She was most, if not all of what the Word of God speaks about when you look at a woman. Consider today that she was an asset to her family. She was a trustworthy wife and mother. She was a hard worker in the workplace, having worked in a professional career that spanned over 40+ years. And even in the midst of those professional demands, she was home-centered and family-focused. She was an interior designer in her new home! She was diligent, using her time effectively, as is spoken of in verse 15. She was organized in her own way, and she never cut corners when it came to accomplishing a task. All the reports that I’ve heard about Nina Faye all conclusively tell me that she loved her family and was diligent in all her ways to provide for and protect her loved ones.
However, not only do I see in the text the Temptation of the Strange Woman and An Observation of the Excellent Wife, But I also see...
C. THE GLORIFICATION OF HER HOME
C. THE GLORIFICATION OF HER HOME
The glory of the virtuous wife cannot be seen in the gates of the city. Not can the glory of the virtuous wife be seen in the marketplace. The glory of a virtuous woman can clearly be seen in her home. The writer of Proverbs measures the glory of the home by the response of those that live inside of it. Verse 28 helps us to understand this.
Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her:
To know what kind of woman Nina Faye was, we should not ask her friends and acquaintances alone. We should not ask her fellow-workers and co-laborers only. Their view of Nina will be at times, incorrect and incomplete. They can only see a part of the true story and the glory of Nina Faye. However, you can comprehend her greatness by seeing how those she cared about the most responded to her daily actions of love and consideration.
The word of God tells us that the children of the virtuous wife and mother will “rise up and call her blessed.” The word translated for “rise up” means that her children will arise and stand up for the entire world to see the blessing of who Faye has caused them to become!
When we look at her two girls who are now young women, we see in their lives the handprint of a mother whose continued to press for the very best that could be found in them. Without her in their lives, they would not be the women that they are now. Their families would not be what they are today.
However, now, they can rise to tell the entire world who their mother has caused them to become! Great women of God.
However, not only will Sherwon and Carmen confirm her greatness and glory within the home, but her husband, Nathaniel will also arise and stand up, affirming her character and her contributions to his life.
Moreover because of her, his greatness resounds much farther than the geographical confines of the home. says it this way;
Her husband is known in the gates,
When he sits among the elders of the land.
The virtuous wife has a lasting impact and influence on the standing and public stature of her husband. It all begins with her private love that spawns a public regard for her husband’s personhood and greatness. She respects him publicly, because she loves him privately! She is never guilty of undercutting his decisions and disregarding his counsel in public or in private.
However in contrast, the Strange Woman I spoke of earlier is willing to build up her personal statue at the expense of robbing her husband publically of his respect and masculinity. Surely we all have seen gross demonstrations of this sort of disregard for the male in a marital relationship. And it is less than attractive, to say the least.
But the Bible tells us that the actions of the virtuous wife are opposite of this behavior. She displays a healthy respect for her husband, to the extent that he is known even in the public square as he sits among the elders at the city gates. In other words, he garners respect from his peers! She is not threatened when they speak of him and not of her, because she knows that it is because of her support of him that they are able to speak of him in the first place!
The Bible says that when a man finds a wife, he findeth a good thing, and receives favor from the Lord. Well, Nathaniel found a good wife and he has found favor from God!
Consider the positive impact and influence Nina Faye has had on Nate, her husband. I dare say, and I do believe that he would agree with me, that through fourteen years of marriage, her actions have always brought respect and honor to who he was, both in private and in public.
During the illness of the wife of Dr. E. V. Hill, she made him promise that he would preach her eulogy. He sorrowfully consented to do so. Not long thereafter, she died and He was obliged to keep his word to her. He preached her eulogy. During the eulogy, he told a touching story about his wife that illustrates the power of the virtuous woman to encourage her husband.
Dr. Hill said that one day, he came home late from the office right after nightfall. When he walked in, he found numerous candles lit and burning all over the house. He asked her why was she burning candles? “What meaneth thou this,” he asked? She replied; “Well, we’ve been married right at six months and so I thought it would be fitting for us to have a candlelight supper tonight.” Dr. Hill responded to her by saying; “That sounds “groovy.” And so she continued to prepare for their candlelight supper that night.
However, she forgot to put a candle in the bathroom. When he went in the bathroom to wash his hands for dinner he flicked the light switch expecting the bathroom light to come on. But the darkness remained. No light. He walked into the bedroom and flipped the light switch on, but the darkness remained. No light came on. He walked into the dining room and said to his wife; “Baby, did they cut the lights off?” She began to cry. She said to him; “You work so hard and I know we’re doing our best, but it’s pretty rough right now. The collector came but we didn’t have enough money to pay the light bill and I didn’t want you to know about it. So, I thought we would eat by candlelight tonight.”
Dr. Hill continued; She could’ve broken me then. she could’ve said; “I’ve never been in this sort of predicament before.” She could have reminded him that she had never known what it was like for the lights to be off in the house she grew up in. His wife could have broken his spirit and she could’ve ruined him. She could’ve paralyzed him that night. She could’ve robbed him of his dignity that night. But instead, she said to him, “Let’s eat by candlelight tonight. We’ll get the lights back on soon. But tonight we can eat by candlelight.
A woman like Nina Fay was able to see the deficiencies in her husband and children. Every man has some deficiencies. However, as a virtuous wife, Nina knew how to fill in the blanks and fill up the empty spaces. She would not break either of them, but instead she was able to build them up! That’s the power of a great wife and mother. That was the strength of Faye.
Not onIy do I see in the text the Temptation of the Strange Woman and An Observation of the Excellent Wife, along with the Glorification of the Home, but I also see...
D. THE REALIZATION OF HER HUMANITY AND HONOR
D. THE REALIZATION OF HER HUMANITY AND HONOR
She watches over the ways of her household,
And does not eat the bread of idleness.
The virtuous wife will foster the perception of personal strength by the way she administrates her household affairs. reflects this truth by telling us;
Strength and honor are her clothing;
She shall rejoice in time to come.
“Many daughters have done well,
But you excel them all.”
for the home, as well as On her account,
Since her family gratefully acknowledges all the benefits that they have received from her, Nina Faye was seen to be the greatest wife and mother in the world.
However, although she is seen as the greatest wife and mother in their eyes, it is clear that one day her strength, energy and stamina would wane. Even with all of her greatness, she is still seen as human. Her time on earth is limited and her physical presence is not lasting. God’s Word reminds us;
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations 4909 Stanford’s Crumbling Foundation
In the quadrangle of Leland Stanford University near San Francisco there stood a magnificent memorial arch, built so largely, solidly, and splendidly, it seemed it would stand forever. But when the earthquake came, it collapsed in ruin. Its foundations were disclosed … the builder had put in chips and rubble. Many seem successful for a time, then suddenly collapse. The secret sin comes to light; the foundation’s rottenness is disclosed!
Job tells us that Man and woman that is born of a woman is but a few days, and full of trouble. Even a woman that displays the finer graces of life and has the blessing of health, revenue, resources and relationships will become aware of the deceit that comes from charm and the fading nature of beauty. This flesh will not last. The physical will not endure. Humankind will not persist. Beauty will pass and looks will fade and strength will wane and dust will return to dust. Pictures reveal that Nina Faye Merritt was beautiful. Her entire family would attest that she was beautiful. Physical beauty can have it’s place in life. But the text testifies that beauty is passing. It will not endure. God has so ordained it that the beauty of the face and body will one day fade.
So what will last? What will endure?
Again tells us;
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.
The secret of Nina’s success is that she feared the Lord! The book of Proverbs ends at the same place where it began. tells us;
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge:
But fools despise wisdom and instruction.
The fear of the Lord lies at the bottom of all goodness that will last through the wear and tears of life. The woman that has a fear of the Lord has the root from which the fruit of Godliness is found.
The fear of the Lord is the beginning of knowledge,
But fools despise wisdom and instruction.
Well Nina Faye had that fear of the Lord that produced the peace and righteousness of her home with her two daughters and her husband. It’s because all that she was on this earth is a picture of the Lord.
tells
But God used her as a picture of Him! The woman of this text is a woman of wisdom and is likened to the Lord! Note ..
Psalm 111, a hymn to God, illustrates some of the similarities.
• The psalm begins with halelû yâ (“Hallelu Yah” [NIV margin], or “Praise the LORD”; Ps 111:1); this phrase is reflected in Proverbs 31:31, which says, “Her works bring her praise [wîhalelûhā].”
• Psalm 111:2 speaks of God’s works; Proverbs 31:13 speaks of the wise woman’s works.
• Psalm 111:2 says that the works of the Lord are searched or “pondered” (derûšîm); Proverbs 31:13 says that the woman “selects” (dārešâ) wool and flax.
• Psalm 111:3 says that the Lord’s work is honorable (hādār; “majestic,” NIV); Proverbs 31:25 ascribes strength and “dignity” (hādār) to the woman.
• Psalm 111:4 says that the Lord is gracious and full of compassion (raḥûm); Proverbs 31:26 ascribes the law of compassion or kindness (ḥesed) to the woman.
• Psalm 111:5 says that the Lord gives “food” (ṭerep); Proverbs 31:15 says that the woman provides “food” (ṭerep) for her house.
• Psalm 111:10 says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom—the motto of Proverbs; Proverbs 31:30 describes the woman as fearing the Lord.
• Psalm 111:10 says that the Lord’s praise will endure; Proverbs 31:31 says that the woman will be praised for her works.
Psalm 111, a hymn to God, illustrates some of the similarities.
• The psalm begins with halelû yâ (“Hallelu Yah” [NIV margin], or “Praise the LORD”; Ps 111:1); this phrase is reflected in Proverbs 31:31, which says, “Her works bring her praise [wîhalelûhā].”
• Psalm 111:2 speaks of God’s works; Proverbs 31:13 speaks of the wise woman’s works.
• Psalm 111:2 says that the works of the Lord are searched or “pondered” (derûšîm); Proverbs 31:13 says that the woman “selects” (dārešâ) wool and flax.
• Psalm 111:3 says that the Lord’s work is honorable (hādār; “majestic,” NIV); Proverbs 31:25 ascribes strength and “dignity” (hādār) to the woman.
• Psalm 111:4 says that the Lord is gracious and full of compassion (raḥûm); Proverbs 31:26 ascribes the law of compassion or kindness (ḥesed) to the woman.
• Psalm 111:5 says that the Lord gives “food” (ṭerep); Proverbs 31:15 says that the woman provides “food” (ṭerep) for her house.
• Psalm 111:10 says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom—the motto of Proverbs; Proverbs 31:30 describes the woman as fearing the Lord.
• Psalm 111:10 says that the Lord’s praise will endure; Proverbs 31:31 says that the woman will be praised for her works.
A comparison with Psalm 111, a hymn to God, illustrates some of the similarities.
• The psalm begins with halelû yâ (“Hallelu Yah” [NIV margin], or “Praise the LORD”; Ps 111:1); this phrase is reflected in Proverbs 31:31, which says, “Her works bring her praise [wîhalelûhā].”
• Psalm 111:2 speaks of God’s works; Proverbs 31:13 speaks of the wise woman’s works.
• Psalm 111:2 says that the works of the Lord are searched or “pondered” (derûšîm); Proverbs 31:13 says that the woman “selects” (dārešâ) wool and flax.
• Psalm 111:3 says that the Lord’s work is honorable (hādār; “majestic,” NIV); Proverbs 31:25 ascribes strength and “dignity” (hādār) to the woman.
• Psalm 111:4 says that the Lord is gracious and full of compassion (raḥûm); Proverbs 31:26 ascribes the law of compassion or kindness (ḥesed) to the woman.
• Psalm 111:5 says that the Lord gives “food” (ṭerep); Proverbs 31:15 says that the woman provides “food” (ṭerep) for her house.
• Psalm 111:10 says that the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom—the motto of Proverbs; Proverbs 31:30 describes the woman as fearing the Lord.
• Psalm 111:10 says that the Lord’s praise will endure; Proverbs 31:31 says that the woman will be praised for her works.
tells us;
And said,
Naked came I out of my mother’s womb,
And naked shall I return thither:
The Lord gave, and the Lord hath taken away;
Blessed be the name of the Lord.
The Lord has given this family a wonderful gift in Nina. Rejoice, for in her you had the picture of the Lord!!!
Beauty fades, but Paul tells us that one day, this corruptible will put on incorruption. He says this mortal will put on immortality. One day, this frame will wear a new body and that flesh will see God!
Nina