You Are What You Love
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35 The next day again John was standing with two of his disciples, 36 and he looked at Jesus as he walked by and said, “Behold, the Lamb of God!” 37 The two disciples heard him say this, and they followed Jesus. 38 Jesus turned and saw them following and said to them, “What are you seeking?” And they said to him, “Rabbi” (which means Teacher), “where are you staying?” 39 He said to them, “Come and you will see.” So they came and saw where he was staying, and they stayed with him that day, for it was about the tenth hour.
The first question, last question, and most fundamental question of discipleship: What do you want?
The first question, last question, and most fundamental question of discipleship: What do you want?
That question is foundational to Jesus’ entire ministry… this is one instance and I could show you dozens more that what he does and what he says is done and said with the aim of appealing to what you want.
Note what he doesn’t ask:
What do you believe?
What are the most noteworthy mistakes of your life?
What do you know?
It is the first question, last question, and most fundamental question that Jesus asks YOU — like he did John’s two disciples: what do you want?
It is the first question, last question, and most fundamental question that Jesus asks YOU — like he did John’s two disciples: what do you want?
How do they answer the question: the same way you and I do: by bumbling and stumbling… “Ummm, what hotel you staying at… that’s what we want to know. Ya. Your hotel.”
Gift and the giver... this food and the hands that prepared it… to win the game… and “WHY???!!!”
The challenge of this series will be its focus of my assertion regarding Jesus’ focus on and appeal to our desires… our loves… our heart.
The challenge of this series will be its focus of my assertion regarding Jesus’ focus on and appeal to our desires… our loves… our heart.
Our desires make us human… our hearts are the central to what it means to be human… and what we love — NOT what we know — is who we become.
Jesus asks, “What do you want?”… it’s his most pressing, important question to you and to me.
When it comes to the stuff that is “important” to want, our concept of what it most means to be human is that we are “thinking things” rather than “wanting things.”
Bobble heads — we assume that being a disciple is primarily being a learner — that if we could acquire the right knowledge or insights into our heads as thinking things, then our smaller bodies will easily and naturally come along and follow those thoughts.
To be clear, what we think and know and learn matter:
To be clear, what we think and know and learn matter:
5 We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God, and take every thought captive to obey Christ,
2 Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
2 but his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
We should learn and think and study and meditate… the Bible is clear on that.
We should learn and think and study and meditate… the Bible is clear on that.
The problem: the translation from and integration with what we know to what we do is never clean and consistent.
The problem: the translation from and integration with what we know to what we do is never clean and consistent.
Have you noticed that?
One of my favorite sayings from poet laureate Maya Angelo is “You do what you know until you know better.”
But… the truth is, every day (many, many times a day) we know better, and we still do it.
Alcoholics Anonymous says it this way: “Your best thinking got you here.”
What if we have been hood-winked? What if we aren’t bobble heads? What if we aren’t primarily thinking things?
What if we have been hood-winked? What if we aren’t bobble heads? What if we aren’t primarily thinking things?
I’m not saying we need less knowledge or thinking… but I am saying that the pervasive truth of our lives is that we need more than knowledge.
9 And it is my prayer that your love may abound more and more, with knowledge and all discernment, 10 so that you may approve what is excellent, and so be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, 11 filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ, to the glory and praise of God.
Could be read — if you read it too quickly or through the lens of being a bobble head — that the focus of this prayer is knowledge.
Could be read — if you read it too quickly or through the lens of being a bobble head — that the focus of this prayer is knowledge.
Read it again.
James K. A. Smith says it this way:
James K. A. Smith says it this way:
You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit The Power of Habit
In fact, Paul’s prayer is the inverse: he prays that their love might abound more and more because, in some sense, love is the condition for knowledge. It’s not that I know in order to love, but rather: I love in order to know. And if we are going to discern “what is best”—what is “excellent,” what really matters, what is of ultimate importance—Paul tells us that the place to start is by attending to our loves.
There is a very different model of the human person at work here. Instead of the rationalist, intellectualist model that implies, “You are what you think,” Paul’s prayer hints at a very different conviction: “You are what you love.”
What if more than we are thinkers, we are lovers? What if our lives are driven more by what we desire than what we know?
What if more than we are thinkers, we are lovers? What if our lives are driven more by what we desire than what we know?
Not only could that explain the gap between our knowledge and our behaviors… it would also explain why Jesus first, last, and most foundational question to those who want to become like him is this question: What do you want?
It could also explain his greatest command to be centered on who and what we love.
And it would then take that great command and put it at the heart of how virtuous disciples are made and less of an impossible concept we have to think our way toward.
Saint Augustine (354-430 a.d.), outside the pressures and presence of modernity, wrote about this alternative view of what it means to be human — that we are lovers more than thinkers.
Saint Augustine (354-430 a.d.), outside the pressures and presence of modernity, wrote about this alternative view of what it means to be human — that we are lovers more than thinkers.
You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit Orienting Desire: The Quest to Be Human
A body by its weight tends to move towards its proper place. The weight’s movement is not necessarily downwards, but to its appropriate position: fire tends to move upwards, a stone downwards. They are acted on by their respective weights; they seek their own place. Oil poured under water is drawn up to the surface on top of the water. Water poured on top of oil sinks below the oil. They are acted on by their respective densities, they seek their own place. Things which are not in their intended position are restless. Once they are in their ordered position, they are at rest.
Augustine goes on to conclude in his Confessions, “My weight is my love; wherever I am carried, my love is carrying me.”
If Augustine is right, then
If Augustine is right, then
Divine love isn’t only what God offers to us…
Great love isn’t only what Jesus commands from us…
But that which we desire to love is the first, last, and most fundamental aspect of what “carries us” toward becoming like Jesus.
We are what we love. Our loves establish the gravity and weight of our lives… our loves move us to their appropriate settings…
We are what we love. Our loves establish the gravity and weight of our lives… our loves move us to their appropriate settings…
You were created to know and love God… and when loves have supplanted the Lord… WE ARE… RESTLESS.
You were created to know and love God… and when loves have supplanted the Lord… WE ARE… RESTLESS.
When your desires, affections, and love is focused on the Lord… and our love is in its intended position, we are at rest.
When your desires, affections, and love is focused on the Lord… and our love is in its intended position, we are at rest.
28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
This is a very different focus for our following Jesus than only or primarily focusing on the next class or study you need to hop it… to increase your knowledge base of the Bible so your gap between what you know and what you do will disappear. Stick with me...
This is a very different focus for our following Jesus than only or primarily focusing on the next class or study you need to hop it… to increase your knowledge base of the Bible so your gap between what you know and what you do will disappear. Stick with me...
12 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13 bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14 And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
Paul uses a clothing analogy… to “put on” virtues — which are best understood as good, moral HABITS. (Bad moral habits are called “vices”)
Good moral habits — virtues — are woven into your internal inclinations… they are who you are which offer a “tell” to the kind of person you are.
Virtues are different from laws and rules — which come from the outside. Virtues come from within.
And the Bible commands us in this passage in Colossians to put all these virtues on in increasing and integrating measure.
“How do I acquire virtue, Ken. I can’t just think my way toward a compassionate heart, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, being forgiving, and — above all — loving!”
“How do I acquire virtue, Ken. I can’t just think my way toward a compassionate heart, kindness, humility, meekness, patience, being forgiving, and — above all — loving!”
Exactly. You can think about all those things… but thinking does not guarantee the gap shrinks even one inch.
You acquire virtues — you put them on in the power of the Holy Spirit — two ways:
You acquire virtues — you put them on in the power of the Holy Spirit — two ways:
1. Imitation
1. Imitation
This cuts against the grain of being “authentic” and “individualistic.”
1 Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children.
1 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.
19 And he said to them, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
6 whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.
Calvin, Jerry, Phil, Dallas — imitation...
2. Practice
2. Practice
Virtues are learned and acquired through imitation and practice.
You Are What You Love: The Spiritual Power of Habit An Erotic Compass: Love Is a Habit
Now why is all of this important for our project of sketching an alternative model of the human person? Because if you are what you love and if love is a virtue, then love is a habit. This means that our most fundamental orientation to the world—the longings and desires that orient us toward some version of the good life—is shaped and configured by imitation and practice.
What if more than we are thinkers, we are lovers.
What if more than we are thinkers, we are lovers.
And what if who and what we love — more than what we know or can articulate — is who we actually are?
And what if who and what we love — more than what we know or can articulate — is who we actually are?
And what if the greatest need you have in your Christian life isn’t to find your next 4 Bible studies to attend or avoid, but it is to put on virtues through the imitation of people you know who follow and love Jesus as they live life in the Kingdom of God practicing day in and out — longing to become more like Jesus?
And what if the greatest need you have in your Christian life isn’t to find your next 4 Bible studies to attend or avoid, but it is to put on virtues through the imitation of people you know who follow and love Jesus as they live life in the Kingdom of God practicing day in and out — longing to become more like Jesus?
Don’t look now, but you are sneaking up on some awesome answers to the question, “What do you want?”
Don’t look now, but you are sneaking up on some awesome answers to the question, “What do you want?”
Who has the life you want? Who has “the good life”?
Who has the life you want? Who has “the good life”?
I’ll bet you are imitating them.
Whoever is the ans
Most of us look at what we know we love… and we know the pursuit of those loves and they life those loves provides are killing us… what do we want?
We want a new life… and that life starts to wear your body when your affections, desires, and longings are acknowledged and redeemed by you… and Jesus.