The GOD of FAMILY

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Intro

I taught on once, about hating our family
I taught a bible study at her apartment complex in the middle of the week. When i got there that week she had an ear full for me.
She was reaf

Abraham sacrificing Isaac

Genesis 22 ESV
After these things God tested Abraham and said to him, “Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Take your son, your only son Isaac, whom you love, and go to the land of Moriah, and offer him there as a burnt offering on one of the mountains of which I shall tell you.” So Abraham rose early in the morning, saddled his donkey, and took two of his young men with him, and his son Isaac. And he cut the wood for the burnt offering and arose and went to the place of which God had told him. On the third day Abraham lifted up his eyes and saw the place from afar. Then Abraham said to his young men, “Stay here with the donkey; I and the boy will go over there and worship and come again to you.” And Abraham took the wood of the burnt offering and laid it on Isaac his son. And he took in his hand the fire and the knife. So they went both of them together. And Isaac said to his father Abraham, “My father!” And he said, “Here I am, my son.” He said, “Behold, the fire and the wood, but where is the lamb for a burnt offering?” Abraham said, “God will provide for himself the lamb for a burnt offering, my son.” So they went both of them together. When they came to the place of which God had told him, Abraham built the altar there and laid the wood in order and bound Isaac his son and laid him on the altar, on top of the wood. Then Abraham reached out his hand and took the knife to slaughter his son. But the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven and said, “Abraham, Abraham!” And he said, “Here I am.” He said, “Do not lay your hand on the boy or do anything to him, for now I know that you fear God, seeing you have not withheld your son, your only son, from me.” And Abraham lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, behind him was a ram, caught in a thicket by his horns. And Abraham went and took the ram and offered it up as a burnt offering instead of his son. So Abraham called the name of that place, “The Lord will provide”; as it is said to this day, “On the mount of the Lord it shall be provided.” And the angel of the Lord called to Abraham a second time from heaven and said, “By myself I have sworn, declares the Lord, because you have done this and have not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you, and I will surely multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven and as the sand that is on the seashore. And your offspring shall possess the gate of his enemies, and in your offspring shall all the nations of the earth be blessed, because you have obeyed my voice.” So Abraham returned to his young men, and they arose and went together to Beersheba. And Abraham lived at Beersheba. Now after these things it was told to Abraham, “Behold, Milcah also has borne children to your brother Nahor: Uz his firstborn, Buz his brother, Kemuel the father of Aram, Chesed, Hazo, Pildash, Jidlaph, and Bethuel.” (Bethuel fathered Rebekah.) These eight Milcah bore to Nahor, Abraham’s brother. Moreover, his concubine, whose name was Reumah, bore Tebah, Gaham, Tahash, and Maacah.

Observations from Genesis 22

God targets what is potentially the most important thing in Abraham’s life, his son. “WHOM YOU LOVE”
God has promised Abraham his he would be the father of a great nation.
2)
Abraham and Sarah are very old when they have Isaac so he knows this is his only chance.
Abraham’s identity and future are wrapped up in this son.
Abraham’s faith in God is put on display
He believes God knows what is BEST for him, and holding on the his son is not what is BEST.
Obedience is “So Abraham rose early in the morning...” He didn’t delay, he acted.
Providing for our Family

When our family becomes our god...

When our family becomes our god...

Safety
Success

a) They become our justification

We find our justification, the proof of our good deeds, in our family
Whether it is our kids, our spouses, our parents, our grand parents.
What do I have to point to in those relationships that shows how good a person I am. (How righteous I am)
We want our kids to be the smartest, most well behaved, best on the team, and what ever else that would potentially make us look good or feel justified.
If our kids are disobedient, get bad grades, don’t take a game as serious as we do, we may get angry or discouraged because we are a deficient parent or they are deficient children.
We wrap our justification, our grounds for boasting, in how well our kids are performing and how that reflects on us.
We want a spouse that adores us and needs us.
We wrap our justification up in what our family members think of us or how our family members attest to our accomplishments in our roles.
We are placing our justification on the weak and unreliable shoulders of our family members, not on the all-powerful and steadfast shoulders of Christ.
Romans 3:23–26 ESV
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, 24 and are justified by his grace as a gift, through the redemption that is in Christ Jesus, 25 whom God put forward as a propitiation by his blood, to be received by faith. This was to show God’s righteousness, because in his divine forbearance he had passed over former sins. 26 It was to show his righteousness at the present time, so that he might be just and the justifier of the one who has faith in Jesus.
Romans 3:23-
Christ is our ONLY justifier and our faith in him is the ONLY thing that leads to justification.

b) They become our identity

Salvation
Closely related: we find our identity in our family.
Whether it be in our moms and dads, our children, or our spouses.
Am I a good enough wife, mother, husband, father, daughter, son, or whatever.
Or the role we play in our kid’s or spouses life,
Are people happy with me, impressed by me, satisfied with me, in love with me.
THE COMPARISON TRAP: She is a better mom, he is a better husband, their kids are smarter, better behaved...
Colossians 3:2–3 ESV
2 Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3 For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God.
Setting your mind on Christ and not on how well you are performing as a parent, spouse or child frees us rest in Christ alone.
Your life is “hidden with Christ” secure and defined by Him not by your performance or how well you compare to the lady next door.

c) They become our joy

Is your happiness dependent upon how well your kids behave or how what your husband did or didn’t do?
Is your happiness decided by how safe, secure and satisfied your family is?
Keller defines idolatry:
We base our joy in life, our enjoyment of life on temporal, unstable, ever-changing circumstances and relationships.
“An idol is anything so central and essential to your life that, should you lose it, your life would feel hardly worth living.” “Counterfeit Gods”
Their are days when your children and/or your spouse will bring your life great joy, but other days (or moments in your day) your kids will drive your crazy, break your heart, or stretch your patience to its breaking point.
If your joy depends on the performance of your children, you are going to live a constant roller coaster of joy and discouragement.
Psalm 94:19 NIV
When anxiety was great within me, your consolation brought me joy.
We must find joy that goes beyond our circumstances and beyond the ups and downs of family life.
Hebrews 13:8 ESV
Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever.
Jesus is unchanging in all ways
His love for us does not change, even on our worst days.
His leading and guiding never changes, even when we are not paying attention.
His provision in our life does not go away, even when we do not get what we want.
Jesus is a steady stream of satisfying joy for those who drink of Him.

d) They become our hope

Submission
Keller defines idolatry:
“An idol is anything so central and essential to your life that, should you lose it, your life would feel hardly worth living.” “Counterfeit Gods”
Is your happiness dependent upon how well your kids behave or how what your husband did or didn’t do?
Hope- “to look forward to with desire and reasonable expectation.”
Can you imagine life without your children? Can you imagine life without your spouse?
Is your happiness decided by how safe, secure and satisfied your family is?
Can you imagine life without your spouse?
We base our joy in life, our enjoyment of life on temporal, unstable, ever-changing circumstances and relationships.
It is heart wrenching to try to imagine, but it points to the deep places of our hearts
We long for eternity, heaven, where life is full and complete.
But we create our own versions of heaven that are very often built on the foundation of our family, there safety, their security, and their success.
We hope to see our kids grow up, get married, have a family, and live successful lives.
We can’t imagine a life without those special people in it.
We hope to grow old with our spouse, enjoy life with one another, and then retire early to the beach somewhere.
We hope to see our kids grow up, get married, have a family, and live successful lives.
We hope to grow old with our spouse, enjoy life with one another, and then retire early to the beach somewhere.
We build our hope on foundations of sand.
Family is a GRACE from God to

2) Being god for our family

Matthew 7:24–27 ESV
24 “Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. 25 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. 26 And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. 27 And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it.”

1) We fret for their safety and security

The reality is tragedies come, people make bad decision, and life never really goes as we plan it in our heads.
Worry and anxiety are indication of our belief about God’s ability to take care of our family.
Do you get worried when your livf
But when we build our hope on sand we are often left in despair.

2) We strain for their success

How could God take this person from me?
Why would God let my husband leave?

3) We chase after their satisfaction

Why would my child make such horrible choices?
The HOPE we long for will never be found in our parents, our children, or our spouses.
Jesus says if your “hear my words” and “do them” you will be wise in building your hope on a firm foundation.
When Pam walked down the isle at our wedding we had the musicians sing “On Christ the Solid Rock”. It says”
My hope is built on nothing less Than Jesus' blood and righteousness I dare not trust the sweetest frame But wholly lean on Jesus name
On Christ the solid rock I stand All other ground is sinking sand All other ground is sinking sand
On Christ the solid rock I stand All other ground is sinking sand All other ground is sinking sand
We wanted to proclaim and always remember that our hope is not built upon each other or the life we were beginning to build, but our HOPE should only be director toward our savior, Jesus Christ.
It serves today as a reminder to us that we cannot be god for one another.
Our families are wonderful gifts, but they make really bad gods.
Luke 14:25–26 ESV
25 Now great crowds accompanied him, and he turned and said to them, 26 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, and even his own life, he cannot be my disciple.
Luke 14:25-26
This is a difficult passage
The call to HATE our families is not a literal call to an emotional HATE toward our family, but a call to love Jesus more than those we are the closest to.
I made and older lady really mad after talking about this passage
She had given her entire life to her kids, working 2 jobs while fighting a deadbeat alcoholic husband.
Her kids were her life, so when I told her she has to hate her kids in order to be a disciple of Christ, she was out. (She was cool with the husband thing, that was easy).
Jesus is saying that our love, affection, and allegiance for our family cannot usurp our love, affection, and allegiance for Him.
Jesus is ultimately saying that loving Him will allow us to love our spouses, kids, parents, and other family members better than placing Him in second place.
When we

Consequences of Making Family god

From “God’s at War” by Kyle Idleman

1) Unrealistic Pressure

“We’re telling someone, “I’m placing all my happiness and well-being in your hands.” And no one in their right mind would welcome such an arrangement, because they can’t come through. The truth is that no human being can. Only God.”

2) Unreachable Expectations

Whether it is pushing our kids to be the best baseball player on the field, or the best student in the class; it is expecting our spouse to meet our deepest emotional needs, we place unreachable expectations on our family members that often lead to frustration and insecurity for those we place such heavy loads.

3) Unreasonable Disappointment

“The deepest joy can come from only one source. As wonderful as marriage and parenting are, we must know that they won’t be perfect, won’t satisfy the soul. When we look to those relationships to do those things for us, we will inevitably be disappointed when the package is delivered.”

4) Undeserved Criticism

“If I am constantly critical of others for the emptiness I feel, if I am al- ways giving the ones I love a hard time for not meeting my needs and not making me happy, it’s most likely because I’m asking them to do some- thing they weren’t made to do. They can give me love and joy, but there’s a deeper satisfaction and contentment that must come from God alone. Criticism often marks our families and relationships because we want someone to do for us what only God can do for us and they are always falling short.”

5) Unfair Comparisons

someone to do for us what only God can do for us and they are always falling short.
When we set our hearts on our family, we make all of these mistakes, and we finally hurt our loved ones by holding them up to god standards. It’s a terrible mistake that creates all kinds of resentful, bitter, and negative feelings in a spouse or a child

Response

Your family is a gift from God, but the greatest gift you can give them is freedom from having to be your god.
Jesus is always better
And when we love Christ above ALL THINGS He will make us into great parents and wonderful husbands and wives.
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