Sermon Tone Analysis

A Better Marriage

Singleness in Christ

Introduction

Perhaps the gift analogy?

The gift you didn’t want...

In this sermon, I want to God to help us do a few things.

I want God to help us:

1.

What singleness is, and what God calls us to while we are single.

What singleness is, and what God calls us to while we are single.

Redefine singleness in the church.

Clarify how we as the church can and must love our single brothers and sisters.

Boast in His promise for single people in Christ.

Those who are single in Christ have a glorious purpose and a glorious promise.

In this sermon, I want God to help us do a few things.

I want God to help us:

Define singleness according to His Word.

Redefine singleness in the church.

Clarify how we as the church can and must love our single brothers and sisters.

Boast in His promise for single people in Christ.

1. Singleness according to the Word of God.

God’s word is very clear that there’s really only two stages of life a person can be in – unmarried or married.

In God’s eyes, anyone who is not in a covenant marriage between one man and one woman–the loving boundaries He’s given us to walk in–is unmarried - or single.

And if you are single, then over and over again through the Scriptures, God calls us to celibacy.

To abstain from sex.

Here’s just one part of Scripture that sheds light on that:

Check out

The Corinthians were misusing God’s word to say that everyone should abstain from sex.

Paul corrects them, though, and says that, no, it’s not sex that is bad, it’s sex engaged in outside the parameters God has given.

Sex is a good gift from God, but it must be engaged in ONLY in the boundaries God has given.

We see the boundaries here being marriage between man and woman.

In verse 2, Paul says a ‘help’ to the temptation to sexual immorality is to marry, because within marriage God has given us the good gift of sex.

I just want to say all of that, first and foremost, to clarify God’s call for us unmarried folks–it doesn’t matter how committed you and your partner are, it doesn’t matter how much you love one another, if you are not in the boundaries God has set up for sex (covenant marriage between man and woman), He calls us to abstain and live a life a purity.

And if you feel like, well dang Jake, you’re not really calling me to live a life of purity and abstain from sex, are you?

I am.

But more-so, I’d say I’m not calling you to, God is calling you to.

God will not call you to anything that He won’t empower you by His grace to do.

And if it is of any consolation, God is also calling me to this at this time in my life, so you’re not alone in the fight.

says “do you not know that your body is a tem

And, as we will see, those who are single in Christ have a glorious purpose and a glorious promise.

You are not your own.

You were purchased with an infinite price.

The blood of Jesus Christ, to free you from all sin.

Therefore glorify God in your body.

This is for our good.

Even if it doesn’t feel like it.

And if you feel like, well dang Jake, are you really calling me to abstain from sex and be pure in my thoughts as a single person?!

Singleness according to the Word of God.

And, as we will see, those who are single in Christ have a glorious purpose and a glorious promise.

2. Singleness in the church

Sadly, the church has done a disservice to our single brothers and sisters in Christ.

In an effort to highlight the beauty of marriage, and the picture it is of Christ and His love for the church, we’ve elevated it at the cost of diminishing singleness.

Even worse, we’ve unknowingly brought in language of saying that our spouses “complete us” and that “we didn’t know what living was until ______ came into our life.”

Family, that’s not biblical language.

We look more like the culture than the Bible.

And it’s harmful language.

Not just for you, because you’re putting that person in a place only God can fill in your life.

But it’s also harmful because it’s subtly feeding people the lie that only when we are married can we be whole and complete.

It can leave us feeling incomplete.

But the truth is, if you’re incomplete as a person when you’re single, you’ll be incomplete as a person when you’re married.

True completeness comes only in receiving the grace of God and being made new in relationship with Him, forever.

Yes, marriage is a good thing.

But, like we said in the first week of our series, Idolatry is when we make good things, ultimate things.

When we make good things, ‘god things.’

Earthly marriage is not the goal.

God is the goal.

Eternal life with God is the goal.

And at improper elevation of marriage, we’ve diminished the beauty of singleness.

One Pastor says that this improper view of marriage means that “our default posture is viewing singleness as something to get past.”

As if it’s a season that we’re just suffering through until God brings us into marriage.

That is not how the Bible talks about singleness.

Let’s read

This is the apostle Paul speaking to the church in Corinth.

Notice what he says.

He says, “I wish that all were as I myself am (v.

7)…and then he clarifies that in v. 8 – “To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.” Paul says that it is good – this word has the sense of being beautiful, pleasing to God – for unmarried people to remain single.

And that if it were up to him, he’d say they should remain that way.

And in between those two statements, the apostle Paul says something very interesting.

He says

each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

Paul is saying that both marriage and singleness are gifts from God. Singleness is a gift from God.

You know, it’s easy for us to think how marriage is a great gift of God, but singleness as a gift–it almost can be received as a ‘roll your eyes’ kind of truth.

It can feel like this:

Have you ever seen A Christmas Story?

Do you remember the part where Ralphie gets a gift from his aunt Clara?

You remember what it was?

It was a really hideous pink bunny costume.

And he has to come walking down the stairs in shame wearing the costume and show his whole family.

It’s so bad his dad eventually pities him and bails him out to go change.

Honestly, sometimes we treat singleness like this.

We treat it like it’s God giving us some horrendous ‘gift’ that we don’t want.

I thought about titling the sermon “The good gift you didn’t want.”

It can breed shame in us.

Make us feel unworthy.

And unfortunately, the church makes us feel this way at times.

We want the Red Rider bb gun, to use the analogy, and instead He’s given us a bunny costumes.

A Christmas Story – the bunny suit vs. the b.b. gun

Singleness

I don’t think it’s not a wrong to desire a spouse.

I think longings for committed intimacy with someone is something God has given us.

But ultimately, those longings are meant to be fulfilled in Him.