Christian Community 2: Community Values at Home

15 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. 16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

18 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.

19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

20 Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.

21 Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged. (Colossians 3:15-21 NIV)

I. What you do at home is a Spiritual Activity!

A. Establishing a good home depends on God

1. Unless the LORD builds the house, its builders labor in vain. (Psalm 127:1 NIV)

2. Therefore prayer and devotion to God is your basic tool for home building.

B. God gives you responsibilities at home.

1. God builds, but he normally works through people.

2. Wives, husbands, children, parents. Colossians 3:18-21

C. Loving God means loving your family members.

1. vv 15&16 are connected to vv18-21 by v17.

2. What you do at home has everything to do with your worship of God.

3. Matt 5:1-9; 1Tim 5:3-8

II. Marriage Relationships

A. The way wives relate to their husbands expresses their relationship with Jesus.

1. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. (Colossians 3:18 NIV)

a. Notice the connection to v.17!

b. “Submit” is in the middle voice.

(1) It does not mean accept a position of inferiority.

(2) It means put yourself in a position of service.

c. Ephesians 5:22 Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. This is a deep and complete kind of submission.

B. The way husbands relate to their wives expresses their relationship with Jesus.

1. Col 3:19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

a. “love” not romantic love (which demands a reciprocal love to grow).

b. “Agape” love a serving devotion that depends solely on the recognition that the other is a child of God.

c. Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. 13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. 14 And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14 NIV)

2. “be harsh” literally “do not be embittered”

a. The word πικραίνω is closely related to πικρόσ which is used in the literal sense about bitter water

b. In Rev. 8:11 people die who drink from water made bitter (same word) by Wormwood.

c. “The preposition [used here]...has suggested that what may be especially in view is the bitterness vented on the wife though not caused by her.” (Peter T. O’brien Word Biblical Commentary, Vol 44: Colossians, Philemon, p.224)

III. Parents and Children

A. The way children relate to their parents expresses their relationship with Jesus.

1. “obey” is the key word lit “listen to”

2. “Children” aren’t just “minors.” This idea includes adult children in relation to their parents too.

3. Related, of course, to one of the 10 commandments “Honor your father and mother...”

4. “Parents” means not only father and mother but includes grandparents and great grandparents too!

B. The way parents relate to their children expresses their relationship with Jesus.

1. Fathers can also be translated parents

a. differs from parents in v. 20 in this way: the word behind parents in v 20 means predecessors, the word behind fathers in v.21 stresses the personal relationship of responsibility.

2. Do not embitter (not the same word used about husbands in v. 19).

a. Parents are not reminded of their authority here but their responsibility toward their children.

b. they will become discouraged literally will loose their passion. could also be translated loose heart or become timid or crush their spirits (The Message)

c. Eph 6:4 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

IV. Singles.

A. An opportunity for single-hearted devotion.

1. I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs -- how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world -- how he can please his wife -- 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world -- how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35 NIV)

2. As a marriage relationship is an opportunity to express one’s love for God within the context of that relationship, singleness is an opportunity to express one’s love for God too.

a. We’re not making any comments here about the permanence or impermanence of singleness for you. Only be faithful within the context of your present circumstances.

B. Singleness is not unwholeness.

1. For too long we have held up marriage as the only option for wholeness and happiness. But this is not what the Bible teaches.

2. Paul is clear that singleness is an option to be embraced by those who find themselves in that situation either permanently or temporarily.

The Bottom Line:

All the community values we talk about at church apply at home too.