Sermon Tone Analysis

The summer after my sophomore year in college, I was a lead counselor at Camp Chetek.

One of my jobs was to help train the other counselors for their summer ministry.

One day I was helping one of the team leaders, he was holding a team meeting with all of the campers, and as I stood their and listened I began counting on my fingers everything that he was doing “wrong.”

After the meeting he came up to me with a big smile on his face eagerly seeking my counsel.

Well, I gave it to him.

I began to list off all the areas that he needed to improve on.

You could see it in his face, after each item I listed off, his smile turn to a slight grin, then to a tight lipped expression, then finally to an blank eyed stare into the abyss.

I learned something that day about the balance of encouragement and criticism.

Obviously, all I did was criticize with little to no encouragement.

And instead of helping him get better at being a team leader, I caused him to be frustrated, I caused him to lose heart.

Colossians 3:21 gives perhaps one of the most solemn warnings to fathers found in the Scriptures.

21 Οἱ πατέρες, μὴ ⸀ἐρεθίζετε τὰ τέκνα ὑμῶν,

Fathers, do not embitter your children

ἵνα μὴ ἀθυμῶσιν.

In order that they may not lose heart

Provoke- imperative/command, to cause someone to react in a way that suggests acceptance of a challenge.

In Colossians 3 Paul uses it in a negative way and it carries the idea of irritate or embitter.

Fathers, do not irritate or embitter your children,

Why not?

Frankly, I love at times, to irritate my children.

I love to tease them relentlessly (all in good fun of course).

That is not the idea of irritate or embitterment Paul is talking about.

This kind of irritation is not the playful/good natured kind.

It is the kind that leads to bitterness in the hearts of our kids- and notice what else it causes.

Lest (that, in order that) they be discouraged- to become disheartened to the extent of losing motivation, be discouraged, lose heart

Fathers, do not embitter your children, Why not? so that they do not lose heart.

Men, this is a serious thing.

This is a heavy command.

This is not something to be taken lightly.

There are two questions that instantly came to my mind as I was reading this text-

How is it possible to irritate or embitter my children in this way- to such an extent that it causes them to loose heart?

How can I avoid do this?

Question #1- How is this possible?

To answer this question we need to examine the overall context of Colossians.

Paul is battling against a heresy that was creeping into the church.

There were some that we claiming that you needed something else other than Christ to become spiritual.

There were those who were turning to worshiping angels and to keeping a strict system of rules and regulations in order to become more spiritual.

There was a fundamental flaw in their theology however.

In other words it didn’t work.

They weren’t becoming more spiritual.

In fact exactly the opposite was happening.

They could not stop the indulgence of their flesh.

So while they claimed to be elite spiritual Christians, they were in fact indulging in their flesh.

I think this is a primary way, men, that we can irritate or embitter our kids.

When spiritually immature lives, when we live according to the indulgence of our flesh (especially when we claim to follow Christ), we not only do great damage to our own lives, but we can cause our kids to lose heart, to become discourages, to lose motivation for following Christ.

Refutation: I do not mean to say, dads, that the spiritual success or failure of your kids is squarely on your shoulders.

The text does not say, Fathers make sure you children grow up to be super-hero Christians.

That is not nor cannot it be our responsibility.

To lay that responsibility on any man’s shoulders would crush him.

The text says don’t live in such a way that you are a spiritual discouragement to them.

Ultimately, that spiritual success of our kids is something only the grace of God can accomplish.

I want you to notice the fundamental flaw of these false teachers of this man made religious system in Colossians.

Not holding to the head.

This was their fundamental flaw, they did not seek Christ!

Dads, we must seek Christ.

This is the answer to Question #2- How can I avoid this?

Seek Christ.

In short, men you need to be a Col. 3:1-17 Christian.

Your relationship with Christ needs to be so genuine, so meaningful, so foundational to who you are as Dads, that it is an encouragement to your kids to follow Christ, rather than something that causes them to lose heart.

What does such a relationship with Christ look like?

I. Dads, we must regularly fill our minds and hearts with Christ

What are we commanded to do?

Seek those things which are above- where Christ is! (Imperative, present, active) Constantly seek above things.

Set your affection / better set your minds on things above -not on things on the earth!

(Imperative, present, active) Constantly set you minds on above things.

Fill you souls with Christ.

Dads are you on a regular basis flooding your minds and your hearts with Christ?

Do you know who can answer this question with a scary degree of accuracy?

Your children.

They see you when you get home from work, they see what kind of things you seek after, they see what kind of things fill your mind.

They see what you are really passionate about.

Do they see Christ?

Why are we commanded to do this?

For ye are dead, and your life is hid with Christ in God. 4 When Christ, who is our life, shall appear, then shall ye also appear with him in glory.

Christ is your life.

You are dead.

The power of your sin nature has been broken, it is no longer your life.

Now, your life is hidden with Christ.

Your life is Christ, and one day when Christ appears, your true life will begin and you will appear with Him in glory.

Dad’s, do you seek Christ, do you set your minds on Christ, is He your life?

This is the kind of relationship we must have if we are going to encourage our kids for Christ, rather than causing them to lose heart.

This only comes from a relationship with Christ!

II.

Dads, we must put to death our old sinful habits

Mortify- put to death

Sexual sins- fornication, uncleanness, inordinate affection, evil concupiscence, (that is sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire), and covetousness, which is idolatry.

Sins of anger- anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy (slander), filthy communication (obscene talk) out of your mouth.

9 Lie not one to another, seeing that ye have put off the old man with his deeds;

Mortify these things, put them to death.

Illustration: Dan Allender

The first day we were there, I didn’t have to teach, so about 8: 00 p.m.

I went into the water with a float tube and all my gear.

I was so excited!

It was dusk and the mountains and water and sunset were beautiful, but I couldn’t help but notice that there were many birds flying around me. I’m really not an outdoorsy-type person, and I don’t know much about ornithology, but still, the presence of these birds surprised me.

I guess I thought they would be in bed by then.

But they were fully awake, flying very rapidly as they went right over me, up and around me. Suddenly I realized they weren’t birds.

They were bats!

And I am terrified of bats.

I started using my rod as a tool to create what I would call a kind of No-Fly Zone.

You know how you always hear that you cannot hit a bat?

Well, it’s not true.

I hit a bat, and it dropped into the water.