Family Care Center

16 For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things have been created through Him and for Him. 17 He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together.

Colossians 2:3 NASB95

3 in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

By Him, through Him, for Him, holder of all things, in which all treasures of wisdom and knowledge are found.

He in our passage today will show us some guidelines that we should live by, in our family. So how to conduct, handle family matters and that impacts even secular matters too. (Col3:18-4:1)

There are a few little things I want to point out before getting to our study passage.

Paul, contrary to what some believe was not a woman hater. He elevated women and children from the ways of perception at the time as possessions to persons in the family care center. This was very against the culture of the time.

A care center is for people and the parallel passage for our passage today is found in Eph5:25-30)

Ephesians 5:25–26 NASB95

25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word,

Ephesians 5:27–28 NASB95

27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 28 So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;

Ephesians 5:29–30 NASB95

29 for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, 30 because we are members of His body.

This is to be a care center for Christian people who have a New Life, who operate under New Management, with a New Understanding of reality, of truth and now under the authority of Christ, following the example of Christ.

In our passage we see the care for people, the value of people. The family is a place for person’s not just a physical place, it is a spiritual place in which we live.

Paul methodically will work through the members , wives, husbands, children, fathers, then addresses slaves and masters. He shows mutual submission throughout the passage. First submissive to Christ then to each other.

Submission is one of the marks of a Christian not only within the care center but within the world too to set an example of Christ to others.

The family care center should be a place we can all go when all the other doors around us are shut, because we care, because we care enough to listen, because we can enough to be honest and share our hearts with one another , to help each other to grow. To help each other so sustain a submissive relationship with Christ and with each other.

Now that brings us to our passage today, we will read it all, then go back and break it down.

Colossians 3:18–19 NASB95

18 Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. 19 Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.

Colossians 3:20–21 NASB95

20 Children, be obedient to your parents in all things, for this is well-pleasing to the Lord. 21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.

Colossians 3:22–23 NASB95

22 Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. 23 Whatever you do, do your work heartily, as for the Lord rather than for men,

Colossians 3:24–25 NASB95

24 knowing that from the Lord you will receive the reward of the inheritance. It is the Lord Christ whom you serve. 25 For he who does wrong will receive the consequences of the wrong which he has done, and that without partiality.

Colossians 4:1 NASB95

1 Masters, grant to your slaves justice and fairness, knowing that you too have a Master in heaven.

I.Women in the care center

In the care center called a family the wife is to be submissive (or subject) to the husband.

In looking at the Greek definition of submit, submission means

arrange under, to subordinate; to be put in subjection to; obey

To submit to one’s control, to yield to on’es admonition or advice

Wives are to be submissive to their husbands, as to the Lord (Eph5:22; 21; Col3:17)

Ephesians 5:22 NASB95

22 Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord.

Now before getting carried away with that, look back one verse

Ephesians 5:21 NASB95

21 and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ.

It starts in being subject, in submission to one another in the fear of Christ first.

And remember where we had just come from

Colossians 3:17 NASB95

17 Whatever you do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks through Him to God the Father.

Wives are to understand the husbands role as head of the family, as Christ is the head of the church. This is saying we are to respect his authority but not in any way implying inferiority at all.

Submission is a quality of love shown both ways, from husband to wife, from wife to husband in our care center called family.

Now I want to expand on submission, and being fitting unto the Lord just a bit more before moving on.

Submission is in line with Jesus teaching (Mt20:25-28)

Not only within the family are we to submit but to one another (Eph5:21)

Submit to those who rule over us in faith (Heb13:17)

Submit to the rule of government (1Pt2:13-15)

Younger to older (1Pt5:5-7)

Let me touch on just a couple of these passages.

Matthew 20:25–26 NASB95

25 But Jesus called them to Himself and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great men exercise authority over them. 26 “It is not this way among you, but whoever wishes to become great among you shall be your servant,

Matthew 20:27–28 NASB95

27 and whoever wishes to be first among you shall be your slave; 28 just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life a ransom for many.”

then there is the Hebrew passage

Hebrews 13:17 NASB95

17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they keep watch over your souls as those who will give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with grief, for this would be unprofitable for you.

and the Peter passage

1 Peter 5:5–6 NASB95

5 You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. 6 Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time,

1 Peter 5:7 NASB95

7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.

Something to think about, if a wife is not submissive to the husband, they may not win over an unbelieving husband to the Lord (1Pt3:1-2; 5:5)

1 Peter 3:1–2 NASB95

1 In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, 2 as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior.

Nor the Lord be gracious to them

1 Peter 5:5 NASB95

5 You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble.

II. Husbands in the care center

Husbands as the head of the family, need direction too. Sometimes they need it spelled out more than the wives do (Col3:19; Eph5:25-29)

Role model is Christ and His church (Eph5:25-27)

Husbands are to love their wives as Christ loved the church.

It is to be a sacrificial love.

Men may not always read instructions, but they love good examples and Paul gives another in (Eph5:28-29)

love as you love your own body.

Which is another good example of how Christ loved the Church and a husband is to love his wife.

Husbands love is not to have bitterness toward them.

A bitter taste in the stomach; to embitter; to exasperate, to render angry or indignant

To visit with bitterness, to grieve all from the Greek word (pikraino)

Reasons not to be bitter (1Pt3:7)

1 Peter 3:7 NASB95

7 You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

Weaker vessel does not mean less than, it means a more delicate partner. This is the person who is to provide the motherly tenderness to the children and bitterness will make a wife, mother, coarse and resentful, helping to contribute to a dysfunctional family vs a family care center.

The wife is worthy of love, worthy of honor, a fellow recipient of God’s grace.

Treatment from husband to wife can directly impact prayers!

Now a little logic to it, if the husband sets an example of love, of mutual submission to the wife as the leader of the family, then the wife would be more likely to be submissive to the leadership, the authority of the husband too.

Summing this up: It is commanded, it is possible, it is beneficial in the care center called the family!

III. Children in the care center

We know the old adage “children are to be seen and not heard.” But children in the care center follow what they see and what they hear. Children have a place in the care center called a family. Let’s look at their role.

In our Christian lifestyle we are to live to please the Lord so it is not asking to much for the children to know their position within the care center called a family. Notice I said position not possession.

Value of children being obedient (Lk2:51-52)

Luke 2:51–52 NASB95

51 And He went down with them and came to Nazareth, and He continued in subjection to them; and His mother treasured all these things in her heart. 52 And Jesus kept increasing in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and men.

We see Jesus example and the value of obedience, he grew in favor with God and men.

Promise from being obedient (Eph6:1-3)

Ephesians 6:1–2 NASB95

1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 Honor your father and mother (which is the first commandment with a promise),

Ephesians 6:3 NASB95

3 so that it may be well with you, and that you may live long on the earth.

The promise is that you may live long.

The seriousness if children are rebellious (1Sam15:22-3; Deu21:18-21)

1 Samuel 15:22–23 NASB95

22 Samuel said, “Has the Lord as much delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices As in obeying the voice of the Lord? Behold, to obey is better than sacrifice, And to heed than the fat of rams. 23 “For rebellion is as the sin of divination, And insubordination is as iniquity and idolatry. Because you have rejected the word of the Lord, He has also rejected you from being king.”

disobedience is in the same class as divination (you know witchcraft).

And if we looked at Deu21:18-21 in some cases the punishment for rebellion was death.

Don’t take rebellion lightly.

it is not just a stage they go through

It is a serious problem that needs to be addressed and handled

It is a problem that needs to be covered with much prayer for wisdom on how to handle it and bring the child out of it.

rebellion needs to be handled and addressed properly normally by the father, who is the head of the family.

IV. Fathers in the care center

Wives, husbands, children, fathers all members of the care center, and whatever happens in the care center will directly reflect what happens in the church (the body of believers). So fathers need to handle fatherhood properly. (Col3:21; Jos24:14-15; 1Sam3:11-14; Eph6:4; Deu6:6-7)

Colossians 3:21 NASB95

21 Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart.

Do not exasperate

Do not exasperate so they do not lose heart

Exasperate, irritate intensely, infuriate, to irate, to enrage, to antagonize, or to provoke (oh the list could go on)

The father has an awesome responsibility to raise his children. (Jos24:14-15) is a good example

Joshua 24:14–15 NASB95

14 “Now, therefore, fear the Lord and serve Him in sincerity and truth; and put away the gods which your fathers served beyond the River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15 “If it is disagreeable in your sight to serve the Lord, choose for yourselves today whom you will serve: whether the gods which your fathers served which were beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you are living; but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.”

Then there is a bad example too (1Sam3:11-14)

1 Samuel 3:11–12 NASB95

11 The Lord said to Samuel, “Behold, I am about to do a thing in Israel at which both ears of everyone who hears it will tingle. 12 “In that day I will carry out against Eli all that I have spoken concerning his house, from beginning to end.

1 Samuel 3:14–15 NASB95

14 “Therefore I have sworn to the house of Eli that the iniquity of Eli’s house shall not be atoned for by sacrifice or offering forever.” 15 So Samuel lay down until morning. Then he opened the doors of the house of the Lord. But Samuel was afraid to tell the vision to Eli.

Eli did not lead, restrain or control his sons, as a father you will be accountable to God for the way you raise your children.

Fathers are to spiritually train their children (Eph6:4; Pro22:6)

Ephesians 6:4 NASB95

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4 NASB95

4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.

If instruction is vital for the saint to grow in maturity, think about the child to raise up, or as it says in Pro22:6 to train up.

Proverbs 22:6 NASB95

6 Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Yes we need to teach, rebuke, correct, discipline but not to the point of discouragement within our care center the family.

Something to think about a child will look at his heavenly father much like he looks at his earthly father. So be kind, loving, compassionate, forgiving and good and the child will have the same perception of God. He is not a God of wrath, but of justice, full of mercy and grace.

As a father you have the awesome responsibility as mentioned before and our instruction needs to be a part of our responsibility

Deuteronomy 6:6–7 NASB95

6 “These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. 7 “You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

Don’t be guilty of provoking by

being unfair, or by showing favoritism in discipline

punishing without warning or instruction prior to about acceptable behavior

And the big one, don’t be a hypocrite “do what I say not what I do”

V. Servants in the secular world

Now as we get to the last two sections, whereas written to 1st century people who would relate in our modern day we can still learn and apply to our employee, employer relationships.

Colossians 3:22–23 NASB95

Colossians 3:24–25 NASB95

Manner of obedience is defined (v.22; Act5:29)

in all things; would be godly things, it is not inclusive of things that are clearly outside of God’s will.

Acts 5:29 NASB95

29 But Peter and the apostles answered, “We must obey God rather than men.

It is to be done with sincerity of heart

Sincerity is a singleness of heart, simplicity of the heart, honesty, free from hypocrisy, not self seeking but selfless.

It is to be done in fear of the Lord.

In reverence to the Lord

Manner of obedience displayed (v.23)

We are to do it heartily, so in other words we are to put our heart into our work! Not pleasing as to man but as to God but knowing that as we please God oftentimes we are going to please men too.

Manner of obedience a warning (v.24-25; 1Pt2:18-25 referenced)

The Lord will judge our service, our works, we will be held accountable, for the good or the bad

There will be no partiality with God for He is impartial so serve the Lord, serve the master (employers) with all your heart. Even if the masters are abusive we are still to do what is right (1Pt2:18-25)

When we are submissive to those over us (masters) even when they are a taskmaster it is pleasing to God! Patiently endure it knowing God knows and God will deal with it impartially.

VI. Masters (employers) in the secular world

Remember who Paul is writing to, he is writing to believers, so this verse has to do with masters who are believers, employers who are believers.

As an employer (master) you have no right to abuse those under you. You are to be just and fair. (Eph6:9; Mt7:12)

Ephesians 6:9 NASB95

9 And masters, do the same things to them, and give up threatening, knowing that both their Master and yours is in heaven, and there is no partiality with Him.

As an employer remember you have a master who is in heaven. It is best for you to live up to and under the teaching of Jesus

Matthew 7:12 NASB95

12 “In everything, therefore, treat people the same way you want them to treat you, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

Let the Lord be your role model and you be the role model to others!

So there you havee the care center the family with a little secular living thrown in too.

May we remember that we are complete in Him

Colossians 2:10 NASB95

10 and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over all rule and authority;

and our life, our family life, our church life, and our secular life should know we are hidden in Christ. May we live it out in plain site being an example to others!