12 Ways your phone is changing you- # 11 We become Harsh to One Another
12 Ways your Phone is Changing you • Sermon • Submitted
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Intro
Intro
Hey guys, good evening.
We are back! Thank you so much! Those of you who were praying for our Marriage retreat. Porsia and I had a great time.
Well today we look at way number 11 in our Series “12 ways your phone is changing you? We are almost finished and I pray that you’ve been learning how to use your devices wisely, and not let your device control you.
If you do not have a bible, you can raise your hand and one of our leaders will get one into your hands.
Now, What’s the 11th way our phones is changing us?
#11 We become harsh to one another
#11 We become harsh to one another
Now what do i mean by that? Some of the most hurtful things are done through the use of our phones and social media:
When we comment on people’s post with mockery
Trolling - spreading bad messages online with the intent of provoking hostility without the desire for resolution.
The most evil of all - are those sexually explicit videos of other students.
I remember i worked with a guy, he had 2 daughters and 1 son, he would always do his best to take care of his children, compliment them when they excel and rebuke them when they did something wrong. I will never forget the devastation that followed, as one of his daughters was caught on video and circulated all over St. Vincent and probably the world. I don’t have a child yet, but you can consider you guys my kids. I can’t tell the heartache i would feel if that happened to any of you. no one should ever have their mess paraded around like that. not even my worst enemy.
That is called slander! 2 Authors define slander as Using information to belittle another, pour out contempt, mock, hurt, harm, to destroy, rejoice in someone else’s demise.
Another definition goes like this: attacking a persons motive so that the listeners’ respect and love for the person is undermined.
A worthless man plots evil, and his speech is like a scorching fire.
That means that a slanderer literally digs a pit for his neighbor as a hunter would for prey.
Essentially your saying i want you to be buried alive, i want you to suffer!
He literally digs a pit for his neighbor as a hunter would for prey
Guys if this is any one of you i want you to know that this is evil in the sight of God, and man.
as a matter of fact if you’re doing that, here’s what the bible says:
The one who conceals hatred has lying lips, and whoever utters slander is a fool.
the bible calls you a fool, don-do head! We don’t do that to ppl, with our mouths, phones or whatever, because that does not fulfill God’s purposes.
the bible calls you a fool
If you find yourself in that position God wants you to repent, put away these kinds of actions from you!
Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work,
to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.
What about if what we are saying is true?
Many persons, christians or not, use the truth as a license to diminish others reputation.
The prayer example
Lord i’m praying for ...... right now that you will help him to stop throwing stones on mrs jones house in belair!
Jesus! Help .......... to stop bad talking she so called best friend in Jesus name.
You may have done this before!
How about this one
The confession example - I just can’t keep this to myself i’ve got to get someone to bear some of this burden.
John you know ........ had a baby the other day, i just can’t believe she would do something like that! This is between us eh, it’s just that i couldn’t keep it to myself. Let’s pray for them!
The rebuke example
Jack, wey you say about james is not true. What about the time when you been cuss bad word. you ain’t no different!
So these end up being a comparing game, we add compare one another to the list of one anothers of the bible!
This is not how things should go!
God in His grace is not only concerned about who you would slander, but also about you, the slanderer.
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.
Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.
Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.
Whoever goes about slandering reveals secrets, but he who is trustworthy in spirit keeps a thing covered.
prov
prov
Whoever belittles his neighbor lacks sense, but a man of understanding remains silent.
Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends.
prov
Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.
Here are some things to consider before posting anything on social media:
Here are some things to consider before posting anything on social media:
I want to offer 12 brief questions to ask. Think of them as indicator lights, the kind a pilot checks before take off.
1. Will it Build up? Or significantly inform a useful conversation? (; )
1. Will it Build up? Or significantly inform a useful conversation? (; )
What then, brothers? When you come together, each one has a hymn, a lesson, a revelation, a tongue, or an interpretation. Let all things be done for building up.
Jesus answered, “The most important is, ‘Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’ The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these.”
Think of what will edify others. All we do is in obedience to the command to love God and others. How will it increase their knowledge, faith, or love? Am I accurately representing positions you disagree with? Am I sure of my facts? Trivialities hopefully fill up our lives less than they do so much of the Internet.
As John Piper has said, “One of the great uses of Twitter and Facebook will be to prove on the Last Day that our prayerlessness was not from lack of time.” He’s right.
2. Will it be easily misunderstood? (; )
2. Will it be easily misunderstood? (; )
Jesus answered him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but afterward you will understand.”
john 13:7:1
“I still have many things to say to you, but you cannot bear them now.
john 13:7
The privacy of a personal conversation limits misunderstanding. Some public posts will sound one way to those who know us and another to those who don’t. Negative assessments are often best shared privately, or not at all. How many of us have learned at our workplace that e-mail is a terrible way to share negative comments? When it comes to public postings, ask yourself: Are there reasons I may not be a good person to speak on certain matters?
3. Will it reach the right audience? ()
3. Will it reach the right audience? ()
And he said, “He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”
If you’re correcting someone, should the audience be wide—or more narrow? Is that audience correctable? When you use social media, consider who’s listening. What if everyone in your church eavesdropped on your conversations today? Yet we do this all the time online.
4. Will it help my evangelism? ()
4. Will it help my evangelism? ()
Him we proclaim, warning everyone and teaching everyone with all wisdom, that we may present everyone mature in Christ.
Is what you’re about to say going to help or hinder those you’re evangelizing? Is it likely to diminish the significance (to them) of your commitment to the gospel, or enhance it?
5. Will it bring about unnecessary and unhelpful controversy? ()
5. Will it bring about unnecessary and unhelpful controversy? ()
But avoid foolish controversies, genealogies, dissensions, and quarrels about the law, for they are unprofitable and worthless.
Think carefully about controversy. The line between the vigorous exchange of ideas and a kind of social war is sometimes thinner than we think. What’s this particular controversy to which I’d be contributing good for? Might it be unhelpful? How much time will it take up? Is this an unavoidable primary issue, or a matter about which disagreement is fairly unimportant? Will this controversy play into any other division that threatens the unity of my local church?
6. Will it embarrass or offend? ()
6. Will it embarrass or offend? ()
The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
Will anyone be embarrassed or offended by what you’re saying? I understand that the mere fact something is offensive doesn’t mean saying it is wrong, but we must be sure it’s worth it.
7. Will it convey care? ()
7. Will it convey care? ()
The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
1 cor 12:
Will those mainly concerned appreciate your motives? Privacy in communication conveys care, an honoring of the person receiving the information. You like the fact that your doctor’s report is private, but you don’t mind that the store’s sale is advertised. If someone would rather be addressed in person, why not do that?
8. Will it make people better appreciate someone else? ()
8. Will it make people better appreciate someone else? ()
The eye cannot say to the hand, “I have no need of you,” nor again the head to the feet, “I have no need of you.” On the contrary, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and on those parts of the body that we think less honorable we bestow the greater honor, and our unpresentable parts are treated with greater modesty, which our more presentable parts do not require. But God has so composed the body, giving greater honor to the part that lacked it, that there may be no division in the body, but that the members may have the same care for one another. If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.
Point out God’s grace in the lives, ministries, and arguments of others. Highlighting something that will build esteem for someone else glorifies God and encourages others to see his work in them.
9. Is it boasting? ()��
9. Is it boasting? ()��
Let another praise you, and not your own mouth; a stranger, and not your own lips.
Does what you communicate online draw attention to yourself more than your topic? How could that be spiritually harmful? Will it leave people with a more accurate understanding of yourself? Are you simply being tempted to draw attention to what you know? When was the last time you encouraged others by sharing something embarrassing or even sinful about yourself?
Does what you communicate online draw attention to yourself more than your topic? How could that be spiritually harmful? Will it leave people with a more accurate understanding of yourself? Are you simply being tempted to draw attention to what you know? When was the last time you encouraged others by sharing something embarrassing or even sinful about yourself?
10. Is the tone appropriate? (, ; ; ; )
10. Is the tone appropriate? (, ; ; ; )
The elder to the elect lady and her children, whom I love in truth, and not only I, but also all who know the truth,
Though I have much to write to you, I would rather not use paper and ink. Instead I hope to come to you and talk face to face, so that our joy may be complete.
Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him,
2
Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.
eph 4:
And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness. God may perhaps grant them repentance leading to a knowledge of the truth,
Will people understand and be encouraged in the truth you communicate? How important is the tone to your message being rightly received? Is it evidently kind, patient, and gentle? The literal tone of your voice and the look on your face fill out so much of what you mean. In a personal conversation, you can more quickly understand that something needs clarifying. The Internet doesn’t sanctify anger or frustration.
11. Is it wrong to say nothing? ()
11. Is it wrong to say nothing? ()
I am under obligation both to Greeks and to barbarians, both to the wise and to the foolish.
Do you have an opportunity or even a responsibility to communicate something? Some of you do this for your job. Have you established a “relationship” with readers, friends, and followers online that would expect you to comment on a particular issue or situation? Our freedom of speech is a wonderful stewardship. Use it well and responsibly.
12. What do others advise? (; ; )
12. What do others advise? (; ; )
Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.
Without counsel plans fail, but with many advisers they succeed.
for by wise guidance you can wage your war, and in abundance of counselors there is victory.
When you’re about to communicate something provocative, do you have good sounding-boards to help you estimate the response? Do you take the time to consider before you publish? Speed of response is both an ability of the Internet and a temptation to speak too quickly (contra ; ; ; ; ). Remember, you will give an account for every word you type (). Does saying things at a “safe distance” from people tempt us to say things we wouldn’t say in person?
Perhaps you could write down these questions and ask a friend to look over your social media feeds with them in mind. Or, even ask someone you know disagrees with you on an issue you’ve posted about and see what they say.
Calling
Calling
When it comes to confronting the sin of any believer or pastor in our lives, the private, scriptural process must be respected, even when it unfolds slowly. The key to the entire process is calling— a few people who are in proximity are called in to address a certain case. Sins and failures should be handled face to face between the wrongdoer and the person wronged, along with the witnesses, all under the discretion of a local church. For those of us who are not “called” into a situation (the majority of us), our script calls for us to take the very countercultural posture of self-restraint, of not talking about the sins in question. 5 We cover over sins, not so they can fester in silence, but so that those called to the situation can deal with those sins in the light of God’s script. In fact, as the script makes clear, the conclusions of two or three believers who are called into a particular situation bear far greater weight in God’s eyes than those of two or three hundred people filled with anger, frothing up one another in Facebook comments. Our priority to honor God’s design here stops us from texting friends to share the dirt we have on others. Such self-control is not intuitive, but it is imperative— and it is how we protect the honor of our neighbors and our brothers and sisters in Christ.
Reinke, Tony. 12 Ways Your Phone Is Changing You (pp. 165-166). Crossway. Kindle Edition.
Closing thoughts:
Social media can be used to confront major sin patterns and public heresies, yes. But when it comes to the dirt we have on one another, we must walk with the greatest care. Christians, of all people, should be most vigilant not to unnecessarily shovel one another’s dirt into public view.
We must learn to distrust our sinful gut reactions and respect the institutions God has set in place in the church and, when necessary, civil law enforcement.
O God, from my youth you have taught me, and I still proclaim your wondrous deeds.
David’s life was consumed with learning from God, that’s why the bible calls him a man after God’s heart.
Small Group Questions:
In what ways does my smartphone habits help me to be gentle to others?
Read . What attitude can I condition myself to have if someone approaches me about my sin?
How should I approach others about their sin?
How can I best discourage slander, especially on social media?1