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Biblical Sex

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Notes from Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries

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Notes from Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries

Three important reasons for studying the subject of sex.

Our culture endorses a wrong view of sex and sexual relations.Many believers have been influenced toward unbiblical views of sex.God’s Word speaks often about the right and wrong view of sex and sexual relations.

Sex Quiz

True or FalseSex should be part of discussions about gospel centered living? T/FGod intended sex to be fun, satisfying, and desirable for the husband and the wife? T/FIt’s ok to make excuses in order to avoid sexual relations with your spouse? T/FSelfishness in sexual relations is forbidden by scripture? T/FWomen should not initiate sexual relations? T/FWhatever is mutually enjoyable and fulfilling to the couple and does not violate biblical principals is proper in the context of the bedroom? T/FHaving sexual relations that are pleasing to God is highly dependent on the overall marital relationship? T/F

Biblical truths regarding sex.

“Sex is a gift from God, a gift to be enjoyed by a man and a women exclusively within marriage. It’s meant to accomplish several key purposes: union…intimacy…comfort, pleasure, and play…creation of life…protection from sexual temptation.” (CJ Mahaney, Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God, 74).

The creation story explains that sex is a gift from God.

According to Genesis, there was something wonderful about two genders of male and female in the mind of God. Man and woman were to be closely joined together. Therefore:Sex was designed as a means of procreation; the very means by which mankind would carry out the commands to “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.” Gen 1:26-29 Sex was designed as a relational concept as a part of companionship. Gen 2:18-25

Sex, enjoyed within the biblical guidelines, brings glory to God.

1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
A biblical worldview will include the belief that sex; was created by Godis encouraged by Godand ultimately brings God glory when enjoyed by a husband and a wife within the bonds of covenant marriage. Therefore, our conversations about sex must include the positive values that God designed in addition to the more commonly discussed condemnation for ungodly substitutions.
“Without a robust account of the Christian vision of sex within marriage, the Christian insistence that unmarried folks refrain from sex just doesn’t make any sense.” (Laura Winner, Real Sex, 25).

Sex is a duty for both spouses with an emphasis on giving.

1 Corinthians 7:2–4 ESV2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
What we see here is:Each person has a duty to fulfill. [3]The focus on the duty is on giving to the other person. [3]The husband and the wife have equal authority over their spouse’s bodies. [4]Not self seeking.Seek to serve.The three concepts of duty, authority, and giving are very important. Questions…?Intended for Pleasure by Ed WheatImplications of these Biblical teachings.Scripture opposes self centeredness in our relations.Scripture opposes any type of premarital sexual contact.Scripture opposes pornography.Scripture opposes homosexuality.
“In light of the positive case the Bible makes for sex inside marriage, and the warnings it gives to those who practice sex outside marriage, we can conclude that any romantic and physical intimacy that is reserved for marriage should not be practiced outside of marriage.” (Tim Lane, Sex Before Marriage: How Far is Too Far?, 17).

Sex should be enjoyed regularly in marriage with breaks only for prayer.

1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Four biblical guidelines from this passage for refraining from sexual relations.There is mutual consent.There is a predetermined and prearranged period of refraining.There is a goal and a focus on one’s prayers.The period of refraining is terminated by sexual relations. Wise principles for how frequent a husband and wife should engage each other.Enough to keep each other satisfied.Enough to avoid temptation.

Sex should be celebrated and passionate.

When it is we will experience...Satisfaction in ones own spouse. [Prov. 5.15-19]A husbands passionate pursuit of his wife. [SOS 7.1-9]A wife’s passionate pursuit of her husband. [SOS 5.10-16]Issues that these biblical truths correct:TaboosPerversionsPossible challenges related to accomplish these steps:MediaPast events

Steps to help us implement these biblical principles.

“Most men can begin sexual intercourse after a bad day, a family argument, with worries galore, or with supper burning on the stove! But your wife will respond much more readily when motivated by respect and consideration on your part… Building an atmosphere of caring and romance is a sign of true love on the part of the husband.” (Ed Wheat, Intended for Pleasure, 37).

Husbands

Regularly communicate with your wife.Seek to romance your wife and make her feel special. [Date her, Woo her]Provide and be concerned about her interests. [both in the bedroom and out of it]Be the spiritual leader in your home.Resources:Exemplary Husband - Stuart ScottIntended for Pleasure - Ed Wheat

Wives

Seek to grow in love of your husband because of your love for Christ .Seek to be attractive to your husband.Be available rather than make excuses.Pursue your husband rather than simply waiting to be pursued.Resources:Feminine Appeal - Carolyn MahaneySex, Romance, and the Glory of God - Carolyn MahaneyCreative Counterpart - Linda DillowExcellent Wife - Martha Peace

Close

Intro

Biblical Principles of Intimacy

Biblical Principles of Sex

Three important reasons for studying the subject of sex.

Our culture endorses a wrong view of sex and sexual relations.
Many believers have been influenced toward unbiblical views of sex.
God’s Word speaks often about the right and wrong view of sex and sexual relations.
1 Corinthians 7:1–8 ESV
1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am.
1 Corinthians 7:1–9 ESV
1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
1 Cor 7.1-8

1 Cor
1 Corinthians 7:1–16 ESV
1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. 10 To the married I give this charge (not I, but the Lord): the wife should not separate from her husband 11 (but if she does, she should remain unmarried or else be reconciled to her husband), and the husband should not divorce his wife. 12 To the rest I say (I, not the Lord) that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he should not divorce her. 13 If any woman has a husband who is an unbeliever, and he consents to live with her, she should not divorce him. 14 For the unbelieving husband is made holy because of his wife, and the unbelieving wife is made holy because of her husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. 15 But if the unbelieving partner separates, let it be so. In such cases the brother or sister is not enslaved. God has called you to peace. 16 For how do you know, wife, whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, husband, whether you will save your wife?

Quiz

True or False
Sex should be part of discussions about gospel-centered living?
God intended sex to be fun, satisfying, and desirable for the husband and the wife?
It’s ok to make excuses in order to avoid sexual relations with your spouse?
Selfishness in sexual relations is forbidden by scripture?
Women should not initiate sexual relations?
Whatever is mutually enjoyable and fulfilling to the couple and does not violate biblical principals is proper in the context of the bedroom?
Having sexual relations that are pleasing to God is highly dependent on the overall marital relationship?
1 Corinthians 7:1–9 ESV
1 Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: “It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman.” 2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. 5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. 6 Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. 7 I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. 8 To the unmarried and the widows I say that it is good for them to remain single, as I am. 9 But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

Biblical truths regarding sex.

“Sex is a gift from God, a gift to be enjoyed by a man and a women exclusively within marriage. It’s meant to accomplish several key purposes: union…intimacy…comfort, pleasure, and play…creation of life…protection from sexual temptation.” (CJ Mahaney, Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God, 74).

The creation story explains that sex is a gift from God.

According to Genesis, there was something wonderful about two genders of male and female in the mind of God. Man and woman were to be closely joined together. Therefore:
Man and woman were to be closely joined together. Therefore:
Sex was designed as a means of procreation; the very means by which mankind would carry out the commands to “be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth.”
Sex was designed as a relational concept as a part of companionship.

Sex, enjoyed within the biblical guidelines, brings glory to God.

ESV31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
1 Corinthians 10:31 ESV
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
1 ESV31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
ESV31 So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.
A biblical worldview will include the belief that sex...
was created by God
is encouraged by God
and ultimately brings God glory when enjoyed by a husband and a wife within the bonds of covenant marriage.
Therefore, our conversations about sex must include the positive values that God designed in addition to the more commonly discussed condemnation for ungodly substitutions.
“Without a robust account of the Christian vision of sex within marriage, the Christian insistence that unmarried folks refrain from sex just doesn’t make any sense.” (Laura Winner, Real Sex, 25).

Sex is a duty for both spouses with an emphasis on giving.

ESV2 But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. 3 The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4 For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
1 Corinthians 7:2–4 ESV
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. For the wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
1 Cor
What we see here is:
Each person has a duty to fulfill. [3]
The focus on the duty is on giving to the other person. [3]
The husband and the wife have equal authority over their spouse’s bodies. [4]
Not self seeking.
Seek to serve.
The three concepts of duty, authority, and giving are very important. Questions…?
Intended for Pleasure by Ed Wheat

Implications of these Biblical teachings.

Scripture opposes self centeredness in our relations.
Scripture opposes any type of premarital sexual contact.
Scripture opposes pornography.
Scripture opposes homosexuality.
“In light of the positive case the Bible makes for sex inside marriage, and the warnings it gives to those who practice sex outside marriage, we can conclude that any romantic and physical intimacy that is reserved for marriage should not be practiced outside of marriage.” (Tim Lane, Sex Before Marriage: How Far is Too Far?, 17).

Sex should be enjoyed regularly in marriage with breaks only for prayer.

1 Corinthians 7:5 ESV
Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
ESV5 Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Four biblical guidelines from this passage for refraining from sexual relations.
There is mutual consent.
There is a predetermined and prearranged period of refraining.
There is a goal and a focus on one’s prayers.
The period of refraining is terminated by sexual relations.
Wise principles for how frequent a husband and wife should engage each other.
Enough to keep each other satisfied.
Enough to avoid temptation.

Sex should be celebrated and passionate.

When it is we will experience...
Satisfaction in one’s own spouse. []
A husband’s passionate pursuit of his wife. []
A wife’s passionate pursuit of her husband. []
Issues that these biblical truths correct:
Taboos
Perversions
Possible challenges related to accomplish these steps:
Media
Past events

Steps to help us implement these biblical principles.

“Most men can begin sexual intercourse after a bad day, a family argument, with worries galore, or with supper burning on the stove! But your wife will respond much more readily when motivated by respect and consideration on your part… Building an atmosphere of caring and romance is a sign of true love on the part of the husband.” (Ed Wheat, Intended for Pleasure, 37).

Husbands

Regularly communicate with your wife.
Seek to romance your wife and make her feel special.
[Date her, woo her]
Provide for and be concerned about her interests.
[both in the bedroom and out of it]
Be the spiritual leader in your home.
Resources:
Exemplary Husband - Stuart Scott
Intended for Pleasure - Ed Wheat

Wives

Seek to grow in love of your husband because of your love for Christ.
Seek to be attractive to YOUR husband.
Be available rather than make excuses.
Pursue your husband rather than simply waiting to be pursued.
Resources:
Feminine Appeal - Carolyn Mahaney
Sex, Romance, and the Glory of God - Carolyn Mahaney
Creative Counterpart - Linda Dillow
Excellent Wife - Martha Peace

Close

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