Sermon Tone Analysis
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Underachieving Mothers
I apologize in advance for using sports illustrations on Mother’s Day, but here goes.
This past week the NBA coaches got together to vote on who they thought should be coach of the year.
Their choice is Dwane Casey, coach of the Toronto Raptors.
He is a good coach.
He led Toronto to first place in their division and a first round win over the Washington Wizards.
Toronto lost in four games to the Cleveland Cavaliers.
What is amazing is that there is strong talk that he might be fired.
In spite of his awards, in spite of the winning record, there are many in Toronto who think that with the team they had, they should have played much better against Cleveland than they did and even won.
The reason he might be fired is not that he isn’t doing a good job, but in the minds of many, he is an underachiever.
As good as he is, he should do better!
Forbes.com
had an article by Jeff Kauflin on CEO’s who left their companies in 2017.
Jeff writes,
“[Mark] Fields worked at Ford for 25 years before becoming CEO in 2014.
Sales grew during his three-year reign.
But market share slipped, and Ford’s stock dropped about 40%.
Executive chairman Bill Ford lost confidence in Fields’ leadership and said the company needed to move faster to keep pace with new technology like electric and self-driving cars.
Ford fired Fields in May and replaced him with Jim Hackett, former head of the company’s Smart Mobility unit, which focuses on new forms of transportation like autonomous driving.”
Sales grew for three years and Mr. Fields was fired.
Why?
He was perceived as an underachiever.
In the business world, people can do very well and be fired because they didn’t do good enough.
I have met and talked to a lot of women who thought that they were underachievers as mothers.
They had some idea of what a good mother should be and they didn’t measure up to their own standards.
They looked around and saw other women who seemed to have it together and felt like failures.
If you think that you have underachieved as a mother, then I want to assure you that you are right.
Those other women who you thought had it together?
They didn’t.
As a matter of face, I have never met a perfect mother.
In fact, other than God, I have never met a perfect father, either.
There are three dangers one faces when they say, “There are no perfect mothers.”
The first danger is to say, “If I can’t be perfect, there’s no use in trying.”
The second danger is to say, “If I can’t be perfect, then I am not fit to be a mother and dump on oneself.”
The third danger is to say, “If I am not perfect, I will redouble my efforts to be perfect.”
There is a fourth option.
The fourth option is to ignore the temptation to judge yourself and accept who you are, both the goodf and the bad.
I will come back to this later.
Right now, I want to show you a Biblical home
The Biblical home belongs to Isaac and Rebekah.
As this is Mother’s Day, we are going to focus on the home through her eyes.
Rebekah is first mentioned in Genesis 22:23.
Twenty-seven chapters later in Genesis 49:31, we find the last mention of her in the Old Testament.
She is mentioned in Romans 9:10, 12 in the New Testament.
Rebekah is Isaac’s wife and his first cousin once removed.
We will look at what the Bible says about her.
As we do, ask yourself, what do I have in common with Rebekah?
First, Rebekah had a husband who loved her.
This was visible.
It was clear that they had a loving relationship.
If you are a mother and you know your husband loves you, count your blessings.
Many people who walk the aisle start out as friends and end up as enemies.
Second, Rebekah may have been a mother figure to her husband.
So Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.
I don’t want to get too psychological here, but there is a sense that Rebekah was seen by Isaac as a mother figure.
It’s interesting that I have heard many Maine humorist call their wives “mother.”
Mothers have many attributes.
They help, nurture and care.
Mothers also control.
From three aisles away in a supermarket, one can hear a mother.
“Don’t touch that.”
“No, you can’t have that.”
“Put that back on the shelf.”
“Stop crying…”
Rebekah was not Isaac’s mother, but the marriage was close enough that she provided a measure of comfort.
Third, Rebekah had a husband who prayed for her.
There are people who have children and don’t want them.
Abortion is often described as getting rid of unwanted children before they are born.
Then there are people who want children and can’t have them.
It might be because of health issues, biological issues or for reasons totally unknown.
Those who want children and cannot have them feel real pain.
The issue of children can even drive a couple apart.
Rebekah was blessed in that her husband didn’t accuse her or separate from her because of the issues.
Rather, he supported her in prayer.
What a blessing to have a supportive husband who prays to the Lord for his wife.
It’s good to have someone who stands by your side when you need that love and support.
Fourth, Both Rebekah and Isaac had favorites.
When the children did come in answer to prayer, Rebekah had twins, Esau and Jacob.
Listen to this.
It’s bad enough that children demand attention.
Sibling rivalry is very normal.
But when parents pick favorites, they choose to have more conflict in the family.
It’s natural to like certain aspects of every child.
It is also natural to not like certain things about your children.
That is much different than telling the children or acting like one or the other is a favorite.
Be prepared for years of undercurrents and conflict if you make that choice.
Fifth, Rebekah did not like her daughter-in-law.
If I understand the Hebrew correctly, Esau and Judith didn’t treat Isaac and Rebekah bad.
Rather, Judith was a constant irritant to both Isaac and Rebekah.
Isaac still loved Esau as did Rebekah to a lesser extent.
They were united in bitterness toward Esau and Judith for their marriage.
They did not support that relationship.
In fact, Rebekah, ensured that Jacob, her favorite son, didn’t marry the same kind of woman that Esau did.
When people marry, they do enter into a family.
Isaac’s wife was picked out by his father through a servant.
When Jacob leaves home to find a wife, he goes visit Rebekah’s family at the urging of his parents.
The way the text reads, it appears that Esau made his own choice and either did not consult his parents or ignored their advice.
Family gatherings must have been stressful!
Sixth, Rebekah manipulated her husband.
Isaac was an old man.
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