The Biblical Husband

Biblical Husbands Biblical Husbands Jon Gruss / Faith Biblical Counseling Ministries / General; Men Better Together / Marriage; A Husband / 1 Peter 3:7   The Husband’s Role Introduction The beginning of Genesis 1 helps us properly  understand  the various roles in marriage: 1. The unique way  Men  were created. 2. The unique way  Women  were created. 3. A husband’s  relationship  with his wife will be determined by his  relationship  with his Lord. John 15:5 ESV I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.  1] The Joy of Bringing Glory to God by  Learning  About and  Honoring  His Wife. A husband is  commanded  to  learn  about his wife. 1 Peter 3:7 ESV Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. 1. A command that requires  study  which takes time and effort. 2. A command that includes being mindful of her  weakness . a. What this does  not  mean: i. Weaker  intellectually  ii. Weaker  spiritually  b. What this  does  mean: i. The wife is usually weaker  physically  ii. The wife does not have the same degree of  authority  • Therefore he must seek to understand her. A husband is  commanded  to  honor  his wife. 1 Peter 3:7 ESV Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.  1. Honoring her includes the idea of showing  esteem  and  thankfulness  to the highest degree. Proverbs 31:28–30 ESV Her children rise up and call her blessed;  her husband also, and he praises her:  “Many women have done excellently,  but you surpass them all.”  Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain,  but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.  2. Honoring her because she shares the same  inheritance  as the husband. 1 Peter 3:7 ESV Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.  The  results  of learning about and honoring his wife 1. effectual  prayer  life. 1 Peter 3:7 ESV Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered.  2] The Joy of Bringing Glory to God by  Leading  His Wife. • Gen 1.26, 2.18-25; Eph 5.23; Matt 20.25-28 The biblical  foundation  for the husband’s leadership: Men were  created  to be leaders. 1. The  order  of creation establishes his leadership. • Gen. 1-2 2. God  declared  the husband to be the leader. Ephesians 5:23 ESV For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior.  The biblical  view  of the husband’s leadership. • Matt 20.25-28 Matthew 20:25–28 ESV But Jesus called them to him and said, “You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. It shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be your slave, even as the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many.”  1. Leadership is NOT: a  lord . 2. Leadership IS: a  servant . a. The test of our  servitude  is how we  respond  when we are treated like a  servant . b. The greatest example of  strong  leadership through  service  is Jesus. Views of Leadership 1. Wrong View of Leadership • Proud • No accountability • Makes all decisions w/o counsel • Expects others to serve them • Sinful communication (lies, anger, etc.) • Selfish focus - what’s best for me? • Wrong motive: Pleasing Self • Expects others to change 1st • Weak on spiritual leadership 2. Biblical View of Leadership •  Humble  •  Welcomes  accountability • Seeks counsel  before  making decisions •  Serves  others •  Biblical  communication (grace, control, etc.) • Focus on  others  - What’s best for her? • Right motive: Pleasing  God  • Willing to change 1st ( good   example ) • Provides strong  spiritual  leadership 3] The Joy of Bringing Glory to God by  Loving  His Wife. Ephesians 5:25–33 ESV 25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, 26 that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. 28 In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body. 31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” 32 This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church. 33 However, let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. • Real men  think  and  act  like Jesus Christ! Biblical love is a choice to  give  sacrificially. John 3:16 ESV “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.  Galatians 2:20 ESV I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.  •  God’s  love is the love upon which a good marriage is built: 1. That is the love Christ  displayed  on the cross for us. 2. Emotions will come and go, but godly love ‘ never   fails ’ 1 Corinthians 13:8 ESV Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.  Song of Solomon 8:7 ESV Many waters cannot quench love,  neither can floods drown it.  If a man offered for love  all the wealth of his house,  he would be utterly despised.  Biblical love is  patterned  after Christ’s love for us, which means... 1. Husbands must love  First  1 John 4:19 ESV We love because he first loved us.  2. Husbands must love  Most  John 15:13 ESV Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.  3. Husbands must love  Sacrificially  Ephesians 5:25 ESV Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,  4. Husbands must love in spite of  faults  Romans 5:8 ESV but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  5. Husbands must love  Regardless  of  rejection  a. Think about the rejection Jesus faced when He came to this earth: i. Rejected by His own people,  Israel . John 1:11 ESV He came to his own, and his own people did not receive him.  ii. Rejected by His  disciples  [He even called them His  friends ]. Matthew 26:56 ESV But all this has taken place that the Scriptures of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples left him and fled.  iii. Rejected by  God  Himself. Matthew 27:46 ESV And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lema sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”  Additional  instruction  on loving your wife: 1. Love your wife as you would your  own   bodies . Ephesians 5:28 ESV In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  2. Love your wife in  deed  and in truth. 1 John 3:18 ESV Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.  3. Love your wife without  bitterness . Colossians 3:19 ESV Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.  The  results  of loving your wife: 1. God is  glorified . 2. The  gospel  is properly displayed. [as Christ loved the church] 3.  Influence  on the lives of others. [wife, children, extended family, etc.] Conclusion 1. A husband cannot fulfill his role without  help  from the Lord. 2. Are you  growing  in the ways you think and act like Christ so you can: a. ...learn about your wife? b. ...love your wife? c. ...lead your wife? Recommended Resources • The Exemplary Husband - Stuart Scott • The Husband After God’s Own Heart - Jim George • This Momentary Marriage - John Piper • The Complete Husband - Lou Priolo • What Did You Expect - Paul Tripp • God, Marriage, and Family: Rebuilding the Biblical Foundation - Kostenberger & Jones Page 7. Exported from Logos Bible Software, 9:32 AM May 7, 2018.