The Safety Net

Let's pray. We're going to send out mixed messages today, right? Let's pray. Heavenly Father that you're so wonderful. You're so good. I whether we are on the Mountaintop right now whether we're in the valley. No matter where we are God help us to look to you and say Blessed Be Your Name. Because they're so many things that we still had to be thankful for life might not be going the way that we have it according to plan that things may not be the way that we would have them to be. I got our circumstances don't determine who you are. And God I pray that in this moment. That is we come to your word that you would speak to us. You would give us grace and mercy that you would help us that you would show us. Just how much we need you in everything that we do. I asked all of this in Jesus name. Amen.

It seems like everything that you buy these days comes with a pretty long set of instructions. Usually a booklet like an instruction manual. It doesn't matter whether it's a very complex product or if it's something very simple. You're probably going to get this little booklet, or maybe if it's very complex and some big kind of hand out or or multi-page think it's going to tell you how to use your product in if you're like me, but what time I'm kind of a type of I'm kind of a rule follower kind of guy. I want to make sure that I'm doing things the right way. If you're like me you probably read your fair share of instruction manuals cuz you don't want to mess this new thing up, whatever it is that you bought. Some of you were more free-spirited though and you've never read an instruction manual in your entire life, you get it and you throw it out with the trash you say who needs instructions. I'll just figure it out by myself. Anyway, whether you've read an instruction manual are not there their and they're there for a very important reason they can be very helpful. If you don't read the instructions, you might you just might damage the product that you bought worst case scenario. You might hurt yourself with that product cuz you weren't using it the right way, but at the very least you might miss out on some important instructions that are important for the operation of that machine and end up embarrassing yourself. Hey, just just watch this video and you'll see exactly what I'm talking about here if you guys but I don't think they read the instructions.

If you don't get it, yeah, I'd like some Russells. Yeah, he's not here. Can't give him a hard time. This is something that Russell would do to his workers in that I think the guy in the the machine is actually playing a trick on these guys because they're shoveling dirt into a big shovel and it doesn't really make sense to ice instructions are important in everything these days. It seems like comes with instructions. But have you ever wondered why when it comes to the most important things in life and you can talk about relationships especially thing about raising kids didn't get any instructions for that. Did you Now you didn't come home from the hospital with that baby and somebody come up to you and say okay here is a booklet that contains everything that you need to know about parenting for the next 25 years or 30 years or 40 years one. I don't think they could put all that in a single book. I think it need to be like an encyclopedia but this parenting can be so incredibly complicated. Don't get me wrong. There's nothing more rewarding in life than being a parent but there's also nothing more complicated more frustrating and more complex than being a parent. I like what one person said. He's reflecting on raising kids, and he said that raising kids is part Joy. Impart guerrilla warfare and we laugh at that but it's true, isn't it? We love our kids. Parents, we love our kids so much and we want the best for them. And so we try to be the best for them. We love them and we provide for them and we sacrifice them and we do things that we sacrifice for them. Okay that for us and what we sacrifice for the not sacrifice and that's not something that we need to do. We sacrifice for them because we want so badly for them to turn out right? But how do we know where parenting the right way if we don't have any? instructions

When that baby is born in your holding that child in your arms. And the first time you realize that this is going to be a little bit different than taking care of that toaster oven you bought. Going to be a little bit different even then taking care of that dog. Dogs are easy. You put food and water in a bowl they will. Love you forever. But can you make that sang guarantee with your kids? This is a human being a human being it's going to have its own will going to make its own decisions that's going to do many things that are completely outside of your control. There are no guarantees when it comes to raising kids and that can be so scary. We ask questions. What if I mess up as a parent? What if I mess my kids up and I ruin them for the rest of their lives?

We tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves as parents because we recognize the importance of this calling that God has called us to this awesome responsibility of being responsible for another human life. and because of that we feel like if we're going to race these kids, right if they're going to turn out good. Then I have got to be the perfect parent. I've got to do everything. I've got to be everything for them. But is that really? What you need to be for your kids the perfect parent.

for those of you who constantly carry around a It just a lot of guilt. Because of the way that you parent for those of you who feel like you've got to do more and be more and always push yourself. To be better for your kids or else they're just not going to turn out the way they should. I got some bad news for you. I've got some good news. The bad news is that you cannot be the perfect parent. You just can't.

Can't do it. You have been messing up plenty since day one and you'll probably mess up a few times before the day is over. You are not the perfect parent.

And that might seem like bad news. I mean, I hate to burst your bubble, but I think it's a bubble that needs to be bursted because I'm trying to alleviate some of this pressure that you're putting on yourself these expectations that you're putting on yourself to be something that you can't be. And Abby something that your kids don't even need you to be. Your kids don't need you to be the perfect parent.

Your kids need you to be a parent need you to be there need you to love them need you to provide for them need to do all these things. But as far as doing everything perfectly and giving them everything under the sun and doing all of these kinds of things. That's not what you need you to be.

no one no earthly parent is the perfect parent but not. That that may seem like bad news to you and you might think the panicking all if I'm not the perfect parent for my kids then who knows how they're going to turn out or they are we just hopeless are they are they just going to Doom to be messed up for the rest of their life now? What is the bad news maybe that you're not the perfect parent but the good news is a parent you are not in this alone. I want us to consider today the words of Jesus that he spoke to parents like you and me good parents who love their kids and want good for them. Here's what he said in the gospel of Matthew uses that switch of you if your son asks for bread will give him a stone. So here's the situation that that the scenario that Jesus is created. So you're going to Texas Roadhouse and I got those great rolls their eyes and you sitting around the table and your kid just kind of licking her lips and looks at you and says, hey Dad, Mom. Can I have one of those and you take a rock and you throw it at your kid anybody going to do that? No. Nobody's going to do that. You're going to you going to give your kid the bread. If you got ready to give you're going to give your kid to bed because the kid is hungry and you're going to give that child something. That is edible. That's what a good parent doesn't he continues or if he ask for a fish. Will you give him a snake? You're not going to trick your kid? You're not going to give him something is going to harm him when your kid is asking for something heavy that that's that's every parent and every parent who loves their kids and wants to take care of them and wants to give good. I think that probably stands for every single parent in here doesn't it? But just because we know how to give good gifts for children just because we know how to take care of our kids. That doesn't mean that we're perfect to Jesus not. He says we still have a problem which of you if your son asks for bread will give him a stone or if he ask for fish will give him a snake and he continues he says this if you then though you are what evil there you are evil really? Jesus do you want to talk about me being evil is just a few then though. You were evil know how to give good gifts to your children. How much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him? Jesus doesn't pull any punches when he talks to you and me remember he's talking to good parents. We might think of the parents, you know where we're talking about blue Sunday. We might we might think of the parents who abused their kids. We might think of those is evil and we know there are evil people in the world me Shirley Hitler is evil only we know that but is it really fair for Jesus to kind of lump us into the same category of and we're just trying here to do our best man. I don't do everything perfect. But really evil. But the more that I thought in the more that I meditated on what Jesus said the more I get exactly what he is saying.

Do you want to look at myself if I'm just being honest?

I try to be good. I try to be a good. Although I try to be a good husband. I try to be a good friend. I try to be good in all that I do.

But just because I try to be good I don't always. achieve that goal

The Apostle Paul says this and I think it's very appropriate to what we're talking about all sorts of so I found this lot work. Although I want to do good evil is right there with me. I want to do good. I want to be a good parent for my kids. But as a parent, I don't always bring that good about as a parent. Sometimes the things that I do and the things that I say don't accomplish that good. I fine in my own self that at times as a parent. I am incredibly inconsistent. Sometimes I'm way too easy on my kids. And in those moments, my wife lets me know how way too easy. I'm being on my kids. Sometimes I am way too hard on my kids. Half the time I don't know whether I should have been harder or whether I should have should have been easier. I don't know whether I should have brought the Judgment the hammer down or or been gracious. I don't know what is best in the situation that is presented to me. Sometimes I let myself get way more angry at them than I should sometimes. I promise them something and I'm not able to deliver sometimes. Sometimes I worry more about how my kids are reflecting on me. I worry about what other people think about my parenting based on my kids rather. In doing what is best for them? Sometimes I'm selfish. I'm not loving sometimes I have trouble forgiving sometimes I do all of these things why.

I want to

But even though I want to do good evil is right there with me and yet. Here, I am a father. Here I am and God is giving me these three wonderful girls asking. Sometimes I just wanna cry I just hate girls. I'm so sorry. And you got stuck. with me

But do you know that last statement that I just made my girls being stuck with me? That's not actually true.

Ever those of you who are parents. It's not true for your kids either. You see my kids are just stuck with me as a parent. Because I said before when we're parenting or whatever it is. We're doing we are not in this alone. Every single Earthly parent is in perfect every single one. Every single Earthly parent is hit or miss some parents hit the target more often than not other parents missed the target more often than not. This is blue Sunday. This is a Sunday where we remember we raise awareness for those situations where the parents did not take care of their kids the weather that it is heartbreaking. It is horrible. But yet even those kids. I'm not alone. Because no matter who are Earthly parents are. No matter how imperfect they might be no matter how many wrong things they have done to us. No matter how much they have heard us. We all listen to me. We all have access to our perfect loving Heavenly Father.

We all have access to our perfect loving heavenly father. He is the god. Who never misses the Mark? I love what it says in Psalms when it says even if my own father and my own mother forsake me, the Lord will never ever forsake me and she hasn't forsaken these 63,000 children. He his heart hurts for them. And his heart hurts for the situation, but he is actively working in those situations as well. I I fully 100% believe that to be true. And as you are trying to figure out the best way to parent your kids and is you are probably beating yourself up for all of the time in the things that you've done wrong. And you worried about screwing up your kids. Guess what?

You are not the only parent for your children. You were not the only one who provides for them. You are not the only one who loves him. You're not the only one who cares for them. Because we all have access to our perfect and loving heavenly father and if we will rely on him to help us parent.

This is what I want you to write down if you take a note if we were told on him. God will raise our ability to raise our kids. I can raise our ability to raise our kids. We talked a lot about the the dangers of parenting and some of you have experienced those. Some of your experience in right now. And it hurts painful. I think one of the things that that we can do is parents as we can learn from other dangerous activities. How many of you have ever gone to the circus? And how many of you seen the the trapeze anybody? Divisiveness is death defying stunts. Were there dozens and dozens of feet above the ground and they're they're swinging upside down there flipping their catching each other all these things as it's it's incredible it and I think we could all agree that it's incredibly dangerous it if that's what makes it interesting right? Because you're you're wondering if somebody is going to fall you just can't take your eyes off of it right in and so we watch these guys and and we think man this it's incredible that they can do these things are the reason I can do these things is because they have practiced it takes a lot of practice in order to become a good trapeze artists. In fact many trapeze artist belong to families were they said they train these kids from the time that they are just very very little It takes a lot of trap out of practice to become a good trapeze artist don't think the same thing could be said for parenting. Thanks a lot of practice in order to become a good parent but practicing the trapeze can just be just as dangerous. If not more dangerous than anything else to win. People are learning how to become a trapeze artist. What do they do? They put up a safety net. You see that under these two two people right here, they put up the safety net and that safety net allows them to safely practice the trapeze if if they practicing move and they mess up it's okay because that net is down there to catch them if they mess up and they fall it is not the end of the world because that net is always there and that net is what gives them the opportunity to get back up to climb up the ladder and to go back and try it again. No matter how many times they make a mistake and reflecting on how God the Father works with. As imperfect as we are God is like our parenting safety net. Because you are going to get it wrong. You will. But when you get it wrong. It's not too late. You don't have to give up because God is there to catch it and he's there to encourage just that you need to get back up. No matter how you are climb back up that letter and you need to try again.

Somebody needs to hear this today.

There's somebody here who has just given up on the side of the head of parenting all together. Because you know that you screwed up. Messed up. You feel like you don't even have a ride to try to parent your kids after what you've done you use.

And that guilt in that Shane just paralyzes you is apparently I want you to know that you are not done. And if he is not done with you, he knows how you feel. And he knows the things that you have done and he has the ability to catch you and encourage you to get back up and to do it again do it again and to do it again. You said God doesn't just make up for what we lack as parents. It is just make up for our imperfections. He encourages us and helps us to grow as parents ourselves. He gives us the ability to try again. He doesn't. Recite this way. a child's success in a child's future is not solely determined by who that child's parents or because God is there. If he is working and that saying God who is working can redeem anything that's broken. Any wrong thing that you can do can be redeem can be undone. It can be fixed if we will place it in the hands of our perfect loving and Heavenly Father. She not only will he enable us to try again, but he will help us and show us how to get it right the next time.

Mini if you know that that our kids are our homeschooling now and Cody is is learning fractions. And I don't know how many of you are are math people if you're not math person, you probably hate fractions because there's so many steps and so many things that you have to kind of figure out and simplifying the fractions and adding and subtracting and doing all of these things. and when she's on her own, I think she's never really sure of herself whether she's getting this right or not, but

When I'm in there with her and I am watching over her shoulder and I am seeing the way that she's working out many of the time she's doing good. She's doing right, but she'll do something and it she look over my shoulder and I'll just kind of give a little little knot. And that nod gives her the confidence to keep going on and keep doing what it is that she knows she can do it gives her the confidence to see hey I am doing this the right way and God can do that for you as a parent as well. We look to God is our example as a perfect parent. We look to his perfect love and his grace and his mercy and I think we all would agree that that we need more of that in our lives. But we also look to his humility. We also look to his sacrifice. We look to his his fair judgement is fairness his his truthfulness. We looked to his discipline. And we look to all of these characteristics and we see areas in our life where we just we know that we do not measure up. But God gives us a chance to say here is what you need to do here is how you need to handle the situation with grace and mercy or with this guy, but he gets his wisdom to know how to proceed.

And because of that. We can continue to look to him when we are in a situation. We have no idea you look to God. Do you say God? What am I supposed to do here? Do you look to his word and it tells you exactly how you should be and then you say okay. You see you since the not of God to send. Yes. This is the right way to go about this is what you need to do. God can give us that kind of guidance, but it's not only the guidance. Got also enables us to grow his parents to the power of His Holy Spirit. Ucsm perfect parents. We don't just need direction because often we know what the right thing to do is the problem is we just find ourselves unable to do it or unwilling to do it at certain times. We looked at these words from Paul earlier where he said that I find this law at work. Although I want to do good evil is right there with me. And if you haven't felt that struggle, you're not paying attention because it's there. Apollo goes on to say this. He says what a Wretched Man I am who will rescue me from this body that is subject to death. In other words. He's just what we need is not some advice or some direction. What we need is not self help telling me the steps to take care of this or do this you can look on the internet and you can find tons of that. In fact, many of you have looked at how to be the perfect parent how to do this and how to raise a strong-willed kid and and you fine conflicting advice and ideas does nobody really agrees on what it is to its to raise the perfect kids. People still haven't figured it out yet. Receipt it says I need to be rescued. I don't just need some advice. I need somebody to Save Me From Myself And this is exactly what got offers as he continues and sis. Thanks be to God who delivers me through Jesus Christ Our Lord.

I want to be careful here. I'm not saying. you have to be a Christian in order to be a good and loving parent because God has given Grace's he's giving Grace and he's giving wisdom is given lots of gifts to everyone regardless of whether they believe in him or not, but There is a special power and a special Grace that is given to someone when they surrender their lives to Jesus when they are baptized into Christ when they receive the gift of the Holy Spirit. There is a special power a special Grace a special ability to free ourselves from that evil that God sets us free from so that we can live and do the things that we shouldn't face these parenting situations, even if they are incredibly heartbreaking even if they are difficult, even if we're not sure what to do. God can work through us the power of His spirit and bring good.

So I hope as you're considering with me what it means to raise kids as we start this discussion. We're going to be in this series for a few weeks. But I hope that you're beginning to see that this isn't something that you're supposed to do on your own. You can't do this on your own you need guy in order to raise your kids. Well, you need him to make up for the times that you have just blown it as a parent. You need him to help you to give you the example to show you how to handle these difficult situations that parents find themselves and that your kids get themselves in you need him to help change you from the inside out to make you a better parent. And a great news of it. All is this. That God will give you all of these things if you will. Just ask him.

My father was looking out the window into his backyard as his young son is playing in the sandbox.

And he watches his son struggle to get this enormous rock out of the sandbox and he did got it pushed over to the edge of the sandbox and he kept trying with all of his might to lift it up and just pop it out over but he could not do it. Finally after several minutes the sun just got out of the sandbox and sat down on the edge and just kind of soaking like this.

So that goes outside.

Assassin or you're not able to to get that rock out of the sandbox and said no sir. I can do it. the Sun Did you use all the strength it's available to you. Said yes, sir. I've tried and I've tried but I just couldn't do it now. You didn't. Use all the strength that's available to you because you have not asked me. for help Jesus says if you then though you're evil know how to give good gifts to your children. How much more will your father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him. And so that's what I want to encourage you to do. Maybe you want to be more loving is there maybe you want to be more wise as a pair of maybe you want something as a pair of maybe you feel like I've got to be this or I've got to do this you can try on your own day after day after day and I promise you will never ever get there on your own strength. But if you ask your heavenly father, he will lend you his strength. And he will lend you his wisdom and he will lend you his love and he will lend you his Aid to Kiest whatever situation raising kids throws at. And that is hope for you and me and said that's what I want you to do. It. Just take a what this away from this message. If you are a parent, I just want you to spend some time this week each day asking God. Would you help me? Would you help me to become a better parent for my kids and whatever way that means to you? What what are you struggling with? What issues are your kids dealing with? It could be different no matter what age group. They are kids are tricky because by the time you figure out how to handle or deal with a certain situation they grow up and they enter a new stage of life. And then you have no idea what you're doing. They hit puberty and it's like good Lord what in the world has taken place? They start dating they get they go to college they get married your job as a parent doesn't end even after they they go out for those of you who kids are graduating get good luck here. You're still going to be busy for the next few years and I can I can guarantee you that. I pray and ask God would you help me in it? If there's anybody here who is not a parent? God hasn't given you that responsibility. That doesn't mean that you don't been given other responsibilities back out. What is it? Are you are you student? Are you a friend or are you a spouse what what has God given you you can ask God to help you get to help raise your ability in that as well. God can raise our ability to raise our kids.

There's a crazy thing about it. It turns out. but the way to become a better parent to become a better child of God. And if you will ask him for that and if you will seek that with all your heart, that's a good prayer. That's asking God for bread and he's not going to turn around and throw a rock at you. He will answer that prayer every single time. God can raise your ability to raise your kids. So Look to Him trust him. Let him help you. We all have access to the perfect parent. Let's pray heavenly father. I thank you so much for the hope that we have in you that I thank you that you as a parent as a loving heavenly father is the perfect parent can make up for our mistakes. But I thank you for that gives us encouragement to get back up and try again. I got a thank you for the example that you give us and for the empowering of the spirit. You can help us to become parents to become more like you did that our kids can see God in you. The father this is only half of the equation. And God, I just pray that as we are trusting you as parents. That we would continue to do so. regardless of how our kids respond God I pray that you would help us to see that we are not in complete control.

We look to you. And our hope is in you. We give you praise and glory and honor help us. Become the parents that our kids need us to be help us to be the parents that show them who you are. and when we don't help us to have the humility to show them that we're not perfect and they don't have to be either. We love you and we thank you for the grace that you giving all of us. We thank you for our kids. We thank you for every responsibility that you called us to all of the good gifts in this life. And we give you the praise and glory and honor and we do all things for your kingdom. In Jesus name I pray amen. Would you stand with me Church? Maxing to come up and he's going to sing one more song. You're here today and you need prayer for anything. It doesn't have to be related to what I said. I invite you to come forward as we see me some good to see you all here. I hope you'll come back next week and will continue the series next week kids. I'm talking to you because this parenting thing it's kind of a two-way street. Okay, so it's going to be good. May the Lord bless and keep you Church.