Philemon #04

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Philemon #4
Me Forgive?
Well in my plans for preaching Philemon, I accomplished the expositional goals that I had. I’ve shown the deeper issue in forgiveness that while Paul was exhorting Philemon to forgive Onesimus, Paul was showing him the bigger picture in what Christ did by forgiving him.
As we looked at that, however, I didn’t really address the issue of forgiveness as it pertains to us and how we are called to act toward others.
C.S. Lewis said:
“everyone thinks forgiveness is a beautiful idea until they have something to forgive”
So, we know that Christ has forgiven us greatly. But what about me? So, the question in my title, “Me Forgive?”.
So, this message is part of what we are learning in Philemon, yet my text isn’t in this little letter. So I consider this message an addendum to this series. Let’s take this out of the theoretical and put it in the practical. Let us move from orthodoxy into orthopraxy, from doctrine to practice, from sermon to lifestyle.
What does Jesus say about the topic? If you will allow me, I want to move us around these verses to help us answer the question. If you will walk through it with me, we will answer some questions about Forgiveness.
1st and foundational Question is …

1. Must I Forgive?

The word forgive/forgiveness is found 150 times in 127 verses in the NIV.
We are certainly happy that God forgives, but MUST I FORGIVE?

A. Do I HAVE to?

The SIMPLE answer is “ONLY if you want to OBEY Jesus.”
READ
Luke 17:3 CSB
Be on your guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.
If your brother sins and repents, FORGIVE HIM

Forgive – aphiemi (af-ee-ay-mee) = to send away as in a divorce, to let go; to disregard; to yield up; to leave unpunished; pardon

So, the foundational answer for us is that when conditions are met, we must forgive in order to OBEY our Lord
We must divorce ourselves from vengeance. We must let the guilt go. We must pardon the one who has offended.
We must reengage the relationship. And THAT, fellow travelers is the issue. The most important thing is relationship. No one is any island. So, for the benefit of each other, we must forgive when conditions are met.
So, yes, I must forgive, but besides the command of Christ …

B. Why? Why Must I Forgive?

READ
Luke 1–3 CSB
Many have undertaken to compile a narrative about the events that have been fulfilled among us, just as the original eyewitnesses and servants of the word handed them down to us. It also seemed good to me, since I have carefully investigated everything from the very first, to write to you in an orderly sequence, most honorable Theophilus, so that you may know the certainty of the things about which you have been instructed. In the days of King Herod of Judea, there was a priest of Abijah’s division named Zechariah. His wife was from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. Both were righteous in God’s sight, living without blame according to all the commands and requirements of the Lord. But they had no children because Elizabeth could not conceive, and both of them were well along in years. When his division was on duty and he was serving as priest before God, it happened that he was chosen by lot, according to the custom of the priesthood, to enter the sanctuary of the Lord and burn incense. At the hour of incense the whole assembly of the people was praying outside. An angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing to the right of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was terrified and overcome with fear. But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, because your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you will name him John. There will be joy and delight for you, and many will rejoice at his birth. For he will be great in the sight of the Lord and will never drink wine or beer. He will be filled with the Holy Spirit while still in his mother’s womb. He will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God. And he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the disobedient to the understanding of the righteous, to make ready for the Lord a prepared people.” “How can I know this?” Zechariah asked the angel. “For I am an old man, and my wife is well along in years.” The angel answered him, “I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and I was sent to speak to you and tell you this good news. Now listen. You will become silent and unable to speak until the day these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their proper time.” Meanwhile, the people were waiting for Zechariah, amazed that he stayed so long in the sanctuary. When he did come out, he could not speak to them. Then they realized that he had seen a vision in the sanctuary. He was making signs to them and remained speechless. When the days of his ministry were completed, he went back home. After these days his wife Elizabeth conceived and kept herself in seclusion for five months. She said, “The Lord has done this for me. He has looked with favor in these days to take away my disgrace among the people.” In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man named Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And the angel came to her and said, “Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you.” But she was deeply troubled by this statement, wondering what kind of greeting this could be. Then the angel told her: “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Now listen: You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of his father David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and his kingdom will have no end.” Mary asked the angel, “How can this be, since I have not had sexual relations with a man?” The angel replied to her: “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. “And consider your relative Elizabeth—even she has conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called childless. For nothing will be impossible with God.” “I am the Lord’s servant,” said Mary. “May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel left her. In those days Mary set out and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judah where she entered Zechariah’s house and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped inside her, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. Then she exclaimed with a loud cry: “Blessed are you among women, and your child will be blessed! How could this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For you see, when the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby leaped for joy inside me. Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill what he has spoken to her!” And Mary said: My soul praises the greatness of the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, because he has looked with favor on the humble condition of his servant. Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed, because the Mighty One has done great things for me, and his name is holy. His mercy is from generation to generation on those who fear him. He has done a mighty deed with his arm; he has scattered the proud because of the thoughts of their hearts; he has toppled the mighty from their thrones and exalted the lowly. He has satisfied the hungry with good things and sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, remembering his mercy to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he spoke to our ancestors. And Mary stayed with her about three months; then she returned to her home. Now the time had come for Elizabeth to give birth, and she had a son. Then her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown her his great mercy, and they rejoiced with her. When they came to circumcise the child on the eighth day, they were going to name him Zechariah, after his father. But his mother responded, “No. He will be called John.” Then they said to her, “None of your relatives has that name.” So they motioned to his father to find out what he wanted him to be called. He asked for a writing tablet and wrote: “His name is John.” And they were all amazed. Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue set free, and he began to speak, praising God. Fear came on all those who lived around them, and all these things were being talked about throughout the hill country of Judea. All who heard about him took it to heart, saying, “What then will this child become?” For, indeed, the Lord’s hand was with him. Then his father Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and prophesied: Blessed is the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has visited and provided redemption for his people. He has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David, just as he spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets in ancient times; salvation from our enemies and from the hand of those who hate us. He has dealt mercifully with our fathers and remembered his holy covenant— the oath that he swore to our father Abraham. He has given us the privilege, since we have been rescued from the hand of our enemies, to serve him without fear in holiness and righteousness in his presence all our days. And you, child, will be called a prophet of the Most High, for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways, to give his people knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins. Because of our God’s merciful compassion, the dawn from on high will visit us to shine on those who live in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace. The child grew up and became spiritually strong, and he was in the wilderness until the day of his public appearance to Israel. In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that the whole empire should be registered. This first registration took place while Quirinius was governing Syria. So everyone went to be registered, each to his own town. Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family line of David, to be registered along with Mary, who was engaged to him and was pregnant. While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. Then she gave birth to her firstborn Son, and she wrapped him tightly in cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. In the same region, shepherds were staying out in the fields and keeping watch at night over their flock. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Don’t be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people: Today in the city of David a Savior was born for you, who is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be the sign for you: You will find a baby wrapped tightly in cloth and lying in a manger.” Suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying: Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to people he favors! When the angels had left them and returned to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go straight to Bethlehem and see what has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” They hurried off and found both Mary and Joseph, and the baby who was lying in the manger. After seeing them, they reported the message they were told about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary was treasuring up all these things in her heart and meditating on them. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had seen and heard, which were just as they had been told. When the eight days were completed for his circumcision, he was named Jesus—the name given by the angel before he was conceived. And when the days of their purification according to the law of Moses were finished, they brought him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord (just as it is written in the law of the Lord, Every firstborn male will be dedicated to the Lord) and to offer a sacrifice (according to what is stated in the law of the Lord, a pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons). There was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon. This man was righteous and devout, looking forward to Israel’s consolation, and the Holy Spirit was on him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he saw the Lord’s Messiah. Guided by the Spirit, he entered the temple. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to perform for him what was customary under the law, Simeon took him up in his arms, praised God, and said, Now, Master, you can dismiss your servant in peace, as you promised. For my eyes have seen your salvation. You have prepared it in the presence of all peoples— a light for revelation to the Gentiles and glory to your people Israel. His father and mother were amazed at what was being said about him. Then Simeon blessed them and told his mother Mary: “Indeed, this child is destined to cause the fall and rise of many in Israel and to be a sign that will be opposed—and a sword will pierce your own soul—that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” There was also a prophetess, Anna, a daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was well along in years, having lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and was a widow for eighty-four years. She did not leave the temple, serving God night and day with fasting and prayers. At that very moment, she came up and began to thank God and to speak about him to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem. When they had completed everything according to the law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee, to their own town of Nazareth. The boy grew up and became strong, filled with wisdom, and God’s grace was on him. Every year his parents traveled to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival. When he was twelve years old, they went up according to the custom of the festival. After those days were over, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Assuming he was in the traveling party, they went a day’s journey. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem to search for him. After three days, they found him in the temple sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all those who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.” “Why were you searching for me?” he asked them. “Didn’t you know that it was necessary for me to be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was obedient to them. His mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and with people. In the fifteenth year of the reign of Tiberius Caesar, while Pontius Pilate was governor of Judea, Herod was tetrarch of Galilee, his brother Philip tetrarch of the region of Iturea and Trachonitis, and Lysanias tetrarch of Abilene, during the high priesthood of Annas and Caiaphas, God’s word came to John the son of Zechariah in the wilderness. He went into all the vicinity of the Jordan, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins, as it is written in the book of the words of the prophet Isaiah: A voice of one crying out in the wilderness: Prepare the way for the Lord; make his paths straight! Every valley will be filled, and every mountain and hill will be made low; the crooked will become straight, the rough ways smooth, and everyone will see the salvation of God. He then said to the crowds who came out to be baptized by him, “Brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Therefore produce fruit consistent with repentance. And don’t start saying to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father,’ for I tell you that God is able to raise up children for Abraham from these stones. The ax is already at the root of the trees. Therefore, every tree that doesn’t produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.” “What then should we do?” the crowds were asking him. He replied to them, “The one who has two shirts must share with someone who has none, and the one who has food must do the same.” Tax collectors also came to be baptized, and they asked him, “Teacher, what should we do?” He told them, “Don’t collect any more than what you have been authorized.” Some soldiers also questioned him, “What should we do?” He said to them, “Don’t take money from anyone by force or false accusation, and be satisfied with your wages.” Now the people were waiting expectantly, and all of them were questioning in their hearts whether John might be the Messiah. John answered them all, “I baptize you with water, but one who is more powerful than I am is coming. I am not worthy to untie the strap of his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing shovel is in his hand to clear his threshing floor and gather the wheat into his barn, but the chaff he will burn with fire that never goes out.” Then, along with many other exhortations, he proclaimed good news to the people. But when John rebuked Herod the tetrarch because of Herodias, his brother’s wife, and all the evil things he had done, Herod added this to everything else—he locked up John in prison. When all the people were baptized, Jesus also was baptized. As he was praying, heaven opened, and the Holy Spirit descended on him in a physical appearance like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well-pleased.” As he began his ministry, Jesus was about thirty years old and was thought to be the son of Joseph, son of Heli, son of Matthat, son of Levi, son of Melchi, son of Jannai, son of Joseph, son of Mattathias, son of Amos, son of Nahum, son of Esli, son of Naggai, son of Maath, son of Mattathias, son of Semein, son of Josech, son of Joda, son of Joanan, son of Rhesa, son of Zerubbabel, son of Shealtiel, son of Neri, son of Melchi, son of Addi, son of Cosam, son of Elmadam, son of Er, son of Joshua, son of Eliezer, son of Jorim, son of Matthat, son of Levi, son of Simeon, son of Judah, son of Joseph, son of Jonam, son of Eliakim, son of Melea, son of Menna, son of Mattatha, son of Nathan, son of David, son of Jesse, son of Obed, son of Boaz, son of Salmon, son of Nahshon, son of Amminadab, son of Ram, son of Hezron, son of Perez, son of Judah, son of Jacob, son of Isaac, son of Abraham, son of Terah, son of Nahor, son of Serug, son of Reu, son of Peleg, son of Eber, son of Shelah, son of Cainan, son of Arphaxad, son of Shem, son of Noah, son of Lamech, son of Methuselah, son of Enoch, son of Jared, son of Mahalalel, son of Cainan, son of Enos, son of Seth, son of Adam, son of God.
Luke 1–3 CSB
Many have undertaken to compile a narrative about the events that have been fulfilled among us, just as the original eyewitnesses and servants of the word handed them down to us. It also seemed good to me, since I have carefully investigated everything from the very first, to write to you in an orderly sequence, most honorable Theophilus, so that you may know the certainty of the things about which you have been instructed. In the days of King Herod of Judea, there was a priest of Abijah’s division named Zechariah. His wife was from the daughters of Aaron, and her name was Elizabeth. Both were righteous in God’s sight, living without blame according to all the commands and requirements of the Lord. But they had no children because Elizabeth could not conceive, and both of them were well along in years. When his division was on duty and he was serving as priest before God, it happened that he was chosen by lot, according to the custom of the priesthood, to enter the sanctuary of the Lord and burn incense. At the hour of incense the whole assembly of the people was praying outside. An angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing to the right of the altar of incense. When Zechariah saw him, he was terrified and overcome with fear. But the angel said to him: “Do not be afraid, Zechariah, because your prayer has been heard. Your wife Elizabeth will bear you a son, and you will name him John. There will be joy and delight for you, and many will rejoice at his birth. For he will be great in the sight of the Lord and will never drink wine or beer. He will be filled with the Holy Spirit while still in his mother’s womb. He will turn many of the children of Israel to the Lord their God. And he will go before him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of fathers to their children, and the disobedient to the understanding of the righteous, to make ready for the Lord a prepared people.” “How can I know this?” Zechariah asked the angel. “For I am an old man, and my wife is well along in years.” The angel answered him, “I am Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and I was sent to speak to you and tell you this good news. Now listen. You will become silent and unable to speak until the day these things take place, because you did not believe my words, which will be fulfilled in their proper time.” Meanwhile, the people were waiting for Zechariah, amazed that he stayed so long in the sanctuary. When he did come out, he could not speak to them. Then they realized that he had seen a vision in the sanctuary. He was making signs to them and remained speechless. When the days of his ministry were completed, he went back home. After these days his wife Elizabeth conceived and kept herself in seclusion for five months. She said, “The Lord has done this for me. He has looked with favor in these days to take away my disgrace among the people.” In the sixth month, the angel Gabriel was sent by God to a town in Galilee called Nazareth, to a virgin engaged to a man named Joseph, of the house of David. The virgin’s name was Mary. And the angel came to her and said, “Greetings, favored woman! The Lord is with you.” But she was deeply troubled by this statement, wondering what kind of greeting this could be. Then the angel told her: “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. Now listen: You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you will name him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give him the throne of his father David. He will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and his kingdom will have no end.” Mary asked the angel, “How can this be, since I have not had sexual relations with a man?” The angel replied to her: “The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. Therefore, the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. “And consider your relative Elizabeth—even she has conceived a son in her old age, and this is the sixth month for her who was called childless. For nothing will be impossible with God.” “I am the Lord’s servant,” said Mary. “May it be done to me according to your word.” Then the angel left her. In those days Mary set out and hurried to a town in the hill country of Judah where she entered Zechariah’s house and greeted Elizabeth. When Elizabeth heard Mary’s greeting, the baby leaped inside her, and Elizabeth was filled with the Holy Spirit. Then she exclaimed with a loud cry: “Blessed are you among women, and your child will be blessed! How could this happen to me, that the mother of my Lord should come to me? For you see, when the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby leaped for joy inside me. Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill what he has spoken to her!” And Mary said: My soul praises the greatness of the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, because he has looked with favor on the humble condition of his servant. Surely, from now on all generations will call me blessed, because the Mighty One has done great things for me, and his name is holy. His mercy is from generation to generation on those who fear him. He has done a mighty deed with his arm; he has scattered the proud because of the thoughts of their hearts; he has toppled the mighty from their thrones and exalted the lowly. He has satisfied the hungry with good things and sent the rich away empty. He has helped his servant Israel, remembering his mercy to Abraham and his descendants forever, just as he spoke to our ancestors. And Mary stayed with her about three months; then she returned to her home. Now the time had come for Elizabeth to give birth, and she had a son. Then her neighbors and relatives heard that the Lord had shown her his great mercy, and they rejoiced with her. When they came to circumcise the child on the eighth day, they were going to name him Zechariah, after his father. But his mother responded, “No. He will be called John.” Then they said to her, “None of your relatives has that name.” So they motioned to his father to find out what he wanted him to be called. He asked for a writing tablet and wrote: “His name is John.” And they were all amazed. Immediately his mouth was opened and his tongue set free, and he began to speak, praising God. Fear came on all those who lived around them, and all these things were being talked about throughout the hill country of Judea. All who heard about him took it to heart, saying, “What then will this child become?” For, indeed, the Lord’s hand was with him. Then his father Zechariah was filled with the Holy Spirit and prophesied: Blessed is the Lord, the God of Israel, because he has visited and provided redemption for his people. He has raised up a horn of salvation for us in the house of his servant David, just as he spoke by the mouth of his holy prophets in ancient times; salvation from our enemies and from the hand of those who hate us. He has dealt mercifully with our fathers and remembered his holy covenant— the oath that he swore to our father Abraham. He has given us the privilege, since we have been rescued from the hand of our enemies, to serve him without fear in holiness and righteousness in his presence all our days. And you, child, will be called a prophet of the Most High, for you will go before the Lord to prepare his ways, to give his people knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins. Because of our God’s merciful compassion, the dawn from on high will visit us to shine on those who live in darkness and the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the way of peace. The child grew up and became spiritually strong, and he was in the wilderness until the day of his public appearance to Israel. In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that the whole empire should be registered. This first registration took place while Quirinius was governing Syria. So everyone went to be registered, each to his own town. Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family line of David, to be registered along with Mary, who was engaged to him and was pregnant. While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. Then she gave birth to her firstborn Son, and she wrapped him tightly in cloth and laid him in a manger, because there was no guest room available for them. In the same region, shepherds were staying out in the fields and keeping watch at night over their flock. Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Don’t be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people: Today in the city of David a Savior was born for you, who is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be the sign for you: You will find a baby wrapped tightly in cloth and lying in a manger.” Suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying: Glory to God in the highest heaven, and peace on earth to people he favors! When the angels had left them and returned to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go straight to Bethlehem and see what has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.” They hurried off and found both Mary and Joseph, and the baby who was lying in the manger. After seeing them, they reported the message they were told about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary was treasuring up all these things in her heart and meditating on them. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had seen and heard, which were just as they had been told. When the eight days were completed for his circumcision, he was named Jesus—the name given by the angel before he was conceived. And when the days of their purification according to the law of Moses were finished, they brought him up to Jerusalem to present him to the Lord (just as it is written in the law of the Lord, Every firstborn male will be dedicated to the Lord) and to offer a sacrifice (according to what is stated in the law of the Lord, a pair of turtledoves or two young pigeons). There was a man in Jerusalem whose name was Simeon. This man was righteous and devout, looking forward to Israel’s consolation, and the Holy Spirit was on him. It had been revealed to him by the Holy Spirit that he would not see death before he saw the Lord’s Messiah. Guided by the Spirit, he entered the temple. When the parents brought in the child Jesus to perform for him what was customary under the law, Simeon took him up in his arms, praised God, and said, Now, Master, you can dismiss your servant in peace, as you promised. For my eyes have seen your salvation. You have prepared it in the presence of all peoples— a light for revelation to the Gentiles and glory to your people Israel. His father and mother were amazed at what was being said about him. Then Simeon blessed them and told his mother Mary: “Indeed, this child is destined to cause the fall and rise of many in Israel and to be a sign that will be opposed—and a sword will pierce your own soul—that the thoughts of many hearts may be revealed.” There was also a prophetess, Anna, a daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was well along in years, having lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and was a widow for eighty-four years. She did not leave the temple, serving God night and day with fasting and prayers. At that very moment, she came up and began to thank God and to speak about him to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem. When they had completed everything according to the law of the Lord, they returned to Galilee, to their own town of Nazareth. The boy grew up and became strong, filled with wisdom, and God’s grace was on him. Every year his parents traveled to Jerusalem for the Passover Festival. When he was twelve years old, they went up according to the custom of the festival. After those days were over, as they were returning, the boy Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem, but his parents did not know it. Assuming he was in the traveling party, they went a day’s journey. Then they began looking for him among their relatives and friends. When they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem to search for him. After three days, they found him in the temple sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. And all those who heard him were astounded at his understanding and his answers. When his parents saw him, they were astonished, and his mother said to him, “Son, why have you treated us like this? Your father and I have been anxiously searching for you.” “Why were you searching for me?” he asked them. “Didn’t you know that it was necessary for me to be in my Father’s house?” But they did not understand what he said to them. Then he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was obedient to them. His mother kept all these things in her heart. And Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and with people. In the fifteenth year of the reign of Tiberius Caesar, while Pontius Pilate was governor of Judea, Herod was tetrarch of Galilee, his brother Philip tetrarch of the region of Iturea and Trachonitis, and Lysanias tetrarch of Abilene, during the high priesthood of Annas and Caiaphas, God’s word came to John the son of Zechariah in the wilderness. He went into all the vicinity of the Jordan, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins, as it is written in the book of the words of the prophet Isaiah: A voice of one crying out in the wilderness: Prepare the way for the Lord; make his paths straight! Every valley will be filled, and every mountain and hill will be made low; the crooked will become straight, the rough ways smooth, and everyone will see the salvation of God. He then said to the crowds who came out to be baptized by him, “Brood of vipers! Who warned you to flee from the coming wrath? Therefore produce fruit consistent with repentance. And don’t start saying to yourselves, ‘We have Abraham as our father,’ for I tell you that God is able to raise up children for Abraham from these stones. The ax is already at the root of the trees. Therefore, every tree that doesn’t produce good fruit will be cut down and thrown into the fire.” “What then should we do?” the crowds were asking him. He replied to them, “The one who has two shirts must share with someone who has none, and the one who has food must do the same.” Tax collectors also came to be baptized, and they asked him, “Teacher, what should we do?” He told them, “Don’t collect any more than what you have been authorized.” Some soldiers also questioned him, “What should we do?” He said to them, “Don’t take money from anyone by force or false accusation, and be satisfied with your wages.” Now the people were waiting expectantly, and all of them were questioning in their hearts whether John might be the Messiah. John answered them all, “I baptize you with water, but one who is more powerful than I am is coming. I am not worthy to untie the strap of his sandals. He will baptize you with the Holy Spirit and fire. His winnowing shovel is in his hand to clear his threshing floor and gather the wheat into his barn, but the chaff he will burn with fire that never goes out.” Then, along with many other exhortations, he proclaimed good news to the people. But when John rebuked Herod the tetrarch because of Herodias, his brother’s wife, and all the evil things he had done, Herod added this to everything else—he locked up John in prison. When all the people were baptized, Jesus also was baptized. As he was praying, heaven opened, and the Holy Spirit descended on him in a physical appearance like a dove. And a voice came from heaven: “You are my beloved Son; with you I am well-pleased.” As he began his ministry, Jesus was about thirty years old and was thought to be the son of Joseph, son of Heli, son of Matthat, son of Levi, son of Melchi, son of Jannai, son of Joseph, son of Mattathias, son of Amos, son of Nahum, son of Esli, son of Naggai, son of Maath, son of Mattathias, son of Semein, son of Josech, son of Joda, son of Joanan, son of Rhesa, son of Zerubbabel, son of Shealtiel, son of Neri, son of Melchi, son of Addi, son of Cosam, son of Elmadam, son of Er, son of Joshua, son of Eliezer, son of Jorim, son of Matthat, son of Levi, son of Simeon, son of Judah, son of Joseph, son of Jonam, son of Eliakim, son of Melea, son of Menna, son of Mattatha, son of Nathan, son of David, son of Jesse, son of Obed, son of Boaz, son of Salmon, son of Nahshon, son of Amminadab, son of Ram, son of Hezron, son of Perez, son of Judah, son of Jacob, son of Isaac, son of Abraham, son of Terah, son of Nahor, son of Serug, son of Reu, son of Peleg, son of Eber, son of Shelah, son of Cainan, son of Arphaxad, son of Shem, son of Noah, son of Lamech, son of Methuselah, son of Enoch, son of Jared, son of Mahalalel, son of Cainan, son of Enos, son of Seth, son of Adam, son of God.
Luke 17:1–3 CSB
He said to his disciples, “Offenses will certainly come, but woe to the one through whom they come! It would be better for him if a millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea than for him to cause one of these little ones to stumble. Be on your guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him.
There is that understanding here that in this sinful world there are all kinds of things that cause people to sin. Jesus says “woe” – ouai (oo-ah-ee) = alas, woe, disaster, calamity
We should be very afraid if we are a conduit, a vehicle, by which we cause others to sin. Especially the “little ones” who follow, Jesus says it is better if we are tossed into the ocean with a concrete necklace that to cause others to sin. And then, Jesus shows us that in the area of forgiveness, we have to watch ourselves – prosecho = take heed, be careful about not forgiving.
Unforgiveness is a ripe bed of bacteria for sin.
It is a Petri dish where all kinds of sin cultivates; and it is terribly contagious.
It is a Petri dish where all kinds of sin cultivates; and it is terribly contagious.
When we fail to forgive, sin comes TO us, FROM us, THROUGH us, and we can CAUSE others to sin. Hatred or contempt grows. Resentment builds in us, or the one we will not forgive. Have you ever noticed that if you have hatred or disdain for someone, that it then shows up in your children or spouse and they don’t even know why.
I must forgive, so that sin cannot have a foothold and I cannot infect others. The greatest defense is to defeat it by forgiving.
Before we address HOW to forgive, let’s answer another burning question …

C. How Often

Quick Answer: “As often as they ask.”
READ
Luke 17:3–4 CSB
Be on your guard. If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. And if he sins against you seven times in a day, and comes back to you seven times, saying, ‘I repent,’ you must forgive him.”
Luke 17:3-4
Remember that the Number, 7, is a number of Divine Perfection. In – Peter asks, “how many times shall I forgive my brother, Seven times?” That sounds pretty good right? Jesus says “70 TIMES 7” or if you will, perfection to the 10th power times perfection.
Matthew 18:21–22 CSB
Then Peter approached him and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? As many as seven times?” “I tell you, not as many as seven,” Jesus replied, “but seventy times seven.
Here in , Jesus says “I don’t care if this person comes back to you seven times in ONE DAY, forgive him” … and the Disciples say

“Increase our Faith”

I just had to laugh when I read that. They were saying, “What?” “How?” “I Can’t” or “We Need Help”. “that can’t happen here.”
If you read , you will see that God is serious in his expectation of us forgiving because our debt was so great to him.
No one owes us what we owed God.
So … then …if I must forgive

2. What is the Process of Forgiveness?

Let’s get to the nuts and bolts of it

A. What is Required?

C.S. Lewis said:
“real forgiveness means looking steadily at the sin, the sin that is left over without any excuse, after all allowances have been made, and seeing it in all its horror, dirt, meanness, and malice, and nevertheless being wholly reconciled to the one who has done it.”
READ –
Luke 17:5–6 CSB
The apostles said to the Lord, “Increase our faith.” “If you have faith the size of a mustard seed,” the Lord said, “you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.
Luke 5–6 CSB
As the crowd was pressing in on Jesus to hear God’s word, he was standing by Lake Gennesaret. He saw two boats at the edge of the lake; the fishermen had left them and were washing their nets. He got into one of the boats, which belonged to Simon, and asked him to put out a little from the land. Then he sat down and was teaching the crowds from the boat. When he had finished speaking, he said to Simon, “Put out into deep water and let down your nets for a catch.” “Master,” Simon replied, “we’ve worked hard all night long and caught nothing. But if you say so, I’ll let down the nets.” When they did this, they caught a great number of fish, and their nets began to tear. So they signaled to their partners in the other boat to come and help them; they came and filled both boats so full that they began to sink. When Simon Peter saw this, he fell at Jesus’s knees and said, “Go away from me, because I’m a sinful man, Lord!” For he and all those with him were amazed at the catch of fish they had taken, and so were James and John, Zebedee’s sons, who were Simon’s partners. “Don’t be afraid,” Jesus told Simon. “From now on you will be catching people.” Then they brought the boats to land, left everything, and followed him. While he was in one of the towns, a man was there who had leprosy all over him. He saw Jesus, fell facedown, and begged him: “Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean.” Reaching out his hand, Jesus touched him, saying, “I am willing; be made clean,” and immediately the leprosy left him. Then he ordered him to tell no one: “But go and show yourself to the priest, and offer what Moses commanded for your cleansing as a testimony to them.” But the news about him spread even more, and large crowds would come together to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses. Yet he often withdrew to deserted places and prayed. On one of those days while he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law were sitting there who had come from every village of Galilee and Judea, and also from Jerusalem. And the Lord’s power to heal was in him. Just then some men came, carrying on a stretcher a man who was paralyzed. They tried to bring him in and set him down before him. Since they could not find a way to bring him in because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on the stretcher through the roof tiles into the middle of the crowd before Jesus. Seeing their faith he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.” Then the scribes and the Pharisees began to think to themselves: “Who is this man who speaks blasphemies? Who can forgive sins but God alone?” But perceiving their thoughts, Jesus replied to them, “Why are you thinking this in your hearts? Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven you,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? But so that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins”—he told the paralyzed man, “I tell you: Get up, take your stretcher, and go home.” Immediately he got up before them, picked up what he had been lying on, and went home glorifying God. Then everyone was astounded, and they were giving glory to God. And they were filled with awe and said, “We have seen incredible things today.” After this, Jesus went out and saw a tax collector named Levi sitting at the tax office, and he said to him, “Follow me.” So, leaving everything behind, he got up and began to follow him. Then Levi hosted a grand banquet for him at his house. Now there was a large crowd of tax collectors and others who were guests with them. But the Pharisees and their scribes were complaining to his disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?” Jesus replied to them, “It is not those who are healthy who need a doctor, but those who are sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.” Then they said to him, “John’s disciples fast often and say prayers, and those of the Pharisees do the same, but yours eat and drink.” Jesus said to them, “You can’t make the wedding guests fast while the groom is with them, can you? But the time will come when the groom will be taken away from them—then they will fast in those days.” He also told them a parable: “No one tears a patch from a new garment and puts it on an old garment. Otherwise, not only will he tear the new, but also the piece from the new garment will not match the old. And no one puts new wine into old wineskins. Otherwise, the new wine will burst the skins, it will spill, and the skins will be ruined. No, new wine is put into fresh wineskins. And no one, after drinking old wine, wants new, because he says, ‘The old is better.’ ” On a Sabbath, he passed through the grainfields. His disciples were picking heads of grain, rubbing them in their hands, and eating them. But some of the Pharisees said, “Why are you doing what is not lawful on the Sabbath?” Jesus answered them, “Haven’t you read what David and those who were with him did when he was hungry—how he entered the house of God and took and ate the bread of the Presence, which is not lawful for any but the priests to eat? He even gave some to those who were with him.” Then he told them, “The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath.” On another Sabbath he entered the synagogue and was teaching. A man was there whose right hand was shriveled. The scribes and Pharisees were watching him closely, to see if he would heal on the Sabbath, so that they could find a charge against him. But he knew their thoughts and told the man with the shriveled hand, “Get up and stand here.” So he got up and stood there. Then Jesus said to them, “I ask you: Is it lawful to do good on the Sabbath or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?” After looking around at them all, he told him, “Stretch out your hand.” He did, and his hand was restored. They, however, were filled with rage and started discussing with one another what they might do to Jesus. During those days he went out to the mountain to pray and spent all night in prayer to God. When daylight came, he summoned his disciples, and he chose twelve of them, whom he also named apostles: Simon, whom he also named Peter, and Andrew his brother; James and John; Philip and Bartholomew; Matthew and Thomas; James the son of Alphaeus, and Simon called the Zealot; Judas the son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor. After coming down with them, he stood on a level place with a large crowd of his disciples and a great number of people from all Judea and Jerusalem and from the seacoast of Tyre and Sidon. They came to hear him and to be healed of their diseases; and those tormented by unclean spirits were made well. The whole crowd was trying to touch him, because power was coming out from him and healing them all. Then looking up at his disciples, he said: Blessed are you who are poor, because the kingdom of God is yours. Blessed are you who are now hungry, because you will be filled. Blessed are you who weep now, because you will laugh. Blessed are you when people hate you, when they exclude you, insult you, and slander your name as evil because of the Son of Man. “Rejoice in that day and leap for joy. Take note—your reward is great in heaven, for this is the way their ancestors used to treat the prophets. But woe to you who are rich, for you have received your comfort. Woe to you who are now full, for you will be hungry. Woe to you who are now laughing, for you will mourn and weep. Woe to you when all people speak well of you, for this is the way their ancestors used to treat the false prophets. “But I say to you who listen: Love your enemies, do what is good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If anyone hits you on the cheek, offer the other also. And if anyone takes away your coat, don’t hold back your shirt either. Give to everyone who asks you, and from someone who takes your things, don’t ask for them back. Just as you want others to do for you, do the same for them. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. If you do what is good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. And if you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners to be repaid in full. But love your enemies, do what is good, and lend, expecting nothing in return. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High. For he is gracious to the ungrateful and evil. Be merciful, just as your Father also is merciful. “Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. Give, and it will be given to you; a good measure—pressed down, shaken together, and running over—will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured back to you.” He also told them a parable: “Can the blind guide the blind? Won’t they both fall into a pit? A disciple is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher. “Why do you look at the splinter in your brother’s eye, but don’t notice the beam of wood in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me take out the splinter that is in your eye,’ when you yourself don’t see the beam of wood in your eye? Hypocrite! First take the beam of wood out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take out the splinter in your brother’s eye. “A good tree doesn’t produce bad fruit; on the other hand, a bad tree doesn’t produce good fruit. For each tree is known by its own fruit. Figs aren’t gathered from thornbushes, or grapes picked from a bramble bush. A good person produces good out of the good stored up in his heart. An evil person produces evil out of the evil stored up in his heart, for his mouth speaks from the overflow of the heart. “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and don’t do the things I say? I will show you what someone is like who comes to me, hears my words, and acts on them: He is like a man building a house, who dug deep and laid the foundation on the rock. When the flood came, the river crashed against that house and couldn’t shake it, because it was well built. But the one who hears and does not act is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The river crashed against it, and immediately it collapsed. And the destruction of that house was great.”

1. Faith to Uproot a Tree …

Sometimes I think we miss the truth, because we are getting chocked on the unbelievable … while ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE with God … and certainly within the will of God and under his power it would be possible to uproot a tree and throw into the sea … but we see this and we think … “I can’t do that and so I don’t have enough faith so … I certainly can’t defeat unforgiveness either”.
But I don’t think he was telling them they could or should uproot trees, I think he was comparing the tree, that they knew well, to Unforgiveness and bitterness and telling them they CAN uproot this sin in their lives. If he had been walking by a trash can he could have said “you can take this trash and throw it in the dump” and by “trash” meaning unforgiveness.
Now this word that the NIV, ESV, NASB all translate as “Mulberry” … is not just ANY mulberry but a species of it called a Sycamine … that is the Greek Word. And in the they translate this same word “Sycamore Tree” when Zacchaeus climbs it.
Anyway … I won’t belabor the point but hear it like they would have … I found some information about this tree yesterday after I was finished studying.
1)This tree, had large deep roots and so does our bitterness when Unforgiveness is left alone.
2) this tree grew fast and in DRY areas and so Unforgiveness grows easily when we are spiritually dry
3) it was a preferred wood for caskets … and so unforgiveness is a place of death
4) the fruit of this Sycamine tree was a bitter fig. Unlike its other Mulberry cousins it was bitter and could only be eaten a little at a time. So is bitterness, well … BITTER
5) This tree is only pollinated by the sting of a WASP … yep … and unforgiveness grows when we are stung
Jesus was passing by this deep rooted, dry climate growing, casket material, bitter, wasp pollinated tree … and Jesus knew the disciples didn’t think they could get rid of forgiveness. So he compared it to this tree as they walked passed it and said, “you can uproot this tree of unforgiveness, roots and all”
And the disciples hit the nail on the head
- The 1st thing we need is FAITH
Matthew Henry writes, “faith in God’s pardoning mercy will enable us to get over the greatest difficulties that lie in the way of our forgiving our brother.”
And then Jesus says that the smallest faith can do large things. I believe his point was actually a positive. Jesus wasn’t saying you CAN’T, but you CAN! I think he was telling them “You CAN do this” because
1) faith in Jesus is powerful and
2) you HAVE more faith than you think you do.
So don’t short change the power within you through Christ Jesus.
Why is faith needed? It is because we must believe that God can right the greatest wrong and can fill the deficit when we forgive and bear the weight of the offense.
Can I ask you something? Is your God Big Enough to heal the relationship?
“Increase our Faith Lord”
Warren Wiersbe says Love motivates us to forgive but faith activates that forgiveness, so that God can use it to work blessings in the lives of his people.”
So, faith is required and then in the Practical Application … we must
Even a little faith can conquer this … So take up the process … which begins with …

2. REBUKE With Honor

– look back at verse 3 for the process -
“Rebuke” – epitimao (ap-ee-tee-mah-o) – to show honor; to raise the price; to rebuke; reprove; to admonish; to charge” … In this context we are to confront one who has wronged us, explain the offense but do so while showing honor for the one who has offended you.
tells us to “restore gently” . Many of us have tried to simply forget an offense or overlook it or attack and then find we can’t get passed it.
It may be because we have failed to honorably rebuke. If I don’t speak up, then resentment may set in leading to bitterness. I become a scorekeeper. If I will not rebuke then my anger at the offense has been useless. Anger is physiological response given to us by God to motivate us toward positive action that is loving toward someone for constructive change. So, I must confront them to move in love toward the restoration of relationship. When I rebuke, I let them feel the weight of the offense.
Then the one who I have honored with rebuke needs to respond with …

3. REPENTANCE of mind and heart –

If I have treated them with love and honor they should respond with “repentance” – metanoeo (met-an-o-eh-o) to change one’s mind for better; heartily to amend with abhorrence of one’s past sins.
Repentance requires that this one who has offended Recognize the wrong, Confess it, that is agree, and in hatred of the sin, Turn Away from it.
And so, if this one agrees, and says “I repent” or “I intend to change this behavior” then we have no choice but to

4. Receive them … Forgive them …

But how is our forgiveness measured? How do I know if I have forgiven? What is the pattern? What is the measuring Stick?

B. How?

“Just as God in Christ forgave us
(CSB)
32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ. 1 Therefore, be imitators of God, as dearly loved children, 2 and walk in love, as Christ also loved us and gave himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God.
How did God forgive us?
He recognized the work of Christ and he forgave us. When we realize that Jesus died for THEM TOO, we can Forgive them.
V32 begins,

“Be Kind and Compassionate”

-- Love and Empathy drive us to forgive. Because we SO Love, we must FEEL what they are going through and desire to restore the relationship in the same way that God also SO LOVED us that he gave his Son, Christ Jesus, for us to reconcile us to him.
So, what should WE do?
says that we should

“Be imitators of God as dearly loved children”

We should be like a child that dresses up in Mommy or Daddy’s clothes and pretend to be them. Or like one who dresses up and plays like their hero.
When I was a boy, I tried to hit like Steve Garvey and play 3rd Base like Ron Cey, Kick a football like Tom Dempsey, throw one like Terry Bradshaw, and catch one like Lynn Swann. I tried to play soccer like Pele and shoot a basketball like John Havlicheck. And of course I wanted to hit a golf ball like Jack Nicklaus. I wanted to sing like Stevie Wonder and Lionel Richie and write like Andrae Crouch, I wanted to preach like my Dad and Billy Graham. People, we need to try and forgive like God and love like Jesus Christ.
(CSB)
Micah 7:18–19 CSB
Who is a God like you, forgiving iniquity and passing over rebellion for the remnant of his inheritance? He does not hold on to his anger forever because he delights in faithful love. He will again have compassion on us; he will vanquish our iniquities. You will cast all our sins into the depths of the sea.
What Does It Mean to Forgive Another?
In his book Caring Enough To Forgive / Caring Enough To Not Forgive, David Augsburger suggests that forgiveness is a “journey of many steps” taken carefully and thoughtfully, the steps including:
1. To see the other as having worth again, regardless of wrongdoing;
2. To see the other as equally precious again, in spite of the pain felt;
3. To cancel demands on the past, recognizing that changing the unchangeable is impossible;
4. To work through the anger and pain felt by both in reciprocal trusting and risking until genuineness in intention is perceived and repentance is seen by both to be authentic;
5. To drop the demands for an ironclad guarantee of future behavior;
6. To touch each other deeply, to feel moved by warmth, love, compassion, to celebrate it in mutual recognition that right relationships have been achieved.[1]
Can we learn to love and to forgive? Yes, when the focus is off of ME. Then I stop keeping score because I WANT the relationship MORE than holding on to Anger or Hurt. Now, you may desire to forgive but you ask … perhaps, a very important question …

3. What If They Won’t Repent?

Jesus said “watch yourselves … but I cannot control the actions of another.
teaches how to address a sin against you and that is
- Go and show them their fault … if they respond … then restoration happens
If not …
- Take some people back with you and try again still with love and compassion. You don’t gang up on them, you just multiply the love …
If there is still no response,
- Tell the church. This doesn’t mean to gossip, it means to enlarge the circle of love and concern with a desire for restoration. Let me also warn, that “telling the church” must involve going to the Pastor and Leadership for proper order and letting them lead the process. The Pastor and leadership can lead in how to handle it in the most honoring way.
But if they still don’t respond … do I have permission to STAY MAD? J No, I must

A. Release The Anger

Remember the purpose of anger is to move you toward loving constructive action. If they won’t respond, you must give it over to God. If you hold the anger it will lead you toward all kinds of sin
(CSB)
Proverbs 29:22 CSB
An angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered one increases rebellion.
Dr. Gary Chapman, in his book Anger: Handling a Powerful Emotion in a Healthy Way, says we need to
1) release them to God and
2) Confess any personal sin
(CSB)
Romans 12:9–10 CSB
Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what is good. Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Outdo one another in showing honor.
(CSB)
(CSB)
Romans 12:14 CSB
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.
Speaking about Jesus,
Speaking about Jesus,
(CSB)
1 Peter 2:23 CSB
when he was insulted, he did not insult in return; when he suffered, he did not threaten but entrusted himself to the one who judges justly.
Jesus left it in God’s hands because he alone judges justly.
Jesus left it in God’s hands because he alone judges justly.
And in (CSB)
2 Timothy 4:14 CSB
Alexander the coppersmith did great harm to me. The Lord will repay him according to his works.
If you hold your anger, frustration, disappointment, disgust, or whatever you call it, you will only hurt yourself, so give it to God.
If you hold your anger, frustration, disappointment, disgust, or whatever you call it, you will only hurt yourself, so give it to God.
Then we must be honest and confess any personal sin in regards to the way you have handled it through possibly sinning in your anger or slandering then to others. We have to get rid of sin related to the anger.
(CSB)
Colossians 3:8 CSB
But now, put away all the following: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and filthy language from your mouth.
Anger leads to rage which is out of control anger and that leads to hatred in your mind, leading to you talking bad to others about them.
Anger leads to rage which is out of control anger and that leads to hatred in your mind, leading to you talking bad to others about them.
We must be ready to forgive, willing to forgive, but we cannot force forgiveness, if they refuse to repent.
So then, I have to release them to the Lord by continuing to pray for them, love, and care for them.
I am not bound to forgive because they do not desire it. what then do I do with the relationship?
Back in
(CSB)
Matthew 18:17 CSB
If he doesn’t pay attention to them, tell the church. If he doesn’t pay attention even to the church, let him be like a Gentile and a tax collector to you.
B. Treat As an Unbeliever

B. Treat As an Unbeliever

What does that mean? Well, how does God treat unbelievers? He LOVED US! While we were Still Sinners, Christ died for us. Jesus ate and hung out with Tax Collectors and Sinners … YET His CLOSE Relationships were reserved for those who walked with him in serving God.
So, if someone refuses the blessings of a relationship we should show great love, dignity, respect, kindness, and pray constantly for them. But you are not required to extend to them the blessings of the relationship they had before the offense.
Of course our actions should be proportionate to the actions. And there are certainly times when there are even legal consequences. In some cases, justice still may have to be served. That is even true when forgiveness is asked for and granted, they still may be held responsible. In , God was dealing with his people who had continually doubted and disobeyed him and in response to their request for forgiveness, God said “I have forgiven them … yet not one of the men … who disobeyed me … will ever see the land of promise.”
There were consequences for their actions but God still forgave them and mended the relationship.
So, if they refuse to Repent you, release the anger, and treat them as an unbelieving and so still we must

C. Desire Their Salvation / Reconciliation

Continue to offer them Christ
Continue to Pray for them
Continue to Hold Out the Hope for Reconciliation
– teaches us that as long as it is still called TODAY there is an opportunity for Salvation. And so, as long as it is Today, there should still be the Hope for Repentance and Reconciliation if they will Respond to the Rebuke in Repentance and thus we receive them back into Right Relationship.
As we conclude today, you might be thinking of some cases in your life where if you do what I’m telling you to do, you will be tempted to think you have gone ABOVE AND BEYOND the Call of Duty. And you will be wanting a Big Pat on the Back.
But as Jesus closes this instruction, look at what he says about what our attitude should be … Jesus is just playing out a typical situation.
READ
Luke 17:7–10 CSB
“Which one of you having a servant tending sheep or plowing will say to him when he comes in from the field, ‘Come at once and sit down to eat’? Instead, will he not tell him, ‘Prepare something for me to eat, get ready, and serve me while I eat and drink; later you can eat and drink’? Does he thank that servant because he did what was commanded? In the same way, when you have done all that you were commanded, you should say, ‘We are worthless servants; we’ve only done our duty.’ ”
He says if you only had ONE servant whose job it was to care for the fields and then cook and serve dinner, should they get a special “thank you” at the end of the day for simply doing their job? He says they should consider themselves unworthy of special treatment because they had “only done our duty”
Child of God,

Forgiveness is our DUTY.

To love as we have been loved, we must forgive as we have been forgiven, and serve as we have been served, expecting no special treatment because it IS our duty.
Don’t look around for someone to “wow, look at you, you have given great forgiveness” … NO … the only thing we should expect is that when we enter Heaven we will hear our Father say “Well Done, Good and Faithful Servant, as I forgave you in Christ Jesus, you have forgiven others”
Jesus will say
“As I have love you, you have loved each other and so shown the world that you are mine, that’s MY servant, that’s MY disciple”
>Illustration<
Forgiving His Son’s Murderer
Rev. Walter H. Everett answered the phone, unprepared for the words he heard: “Scott was murdered last night.” Walter’s anger toward his son’s killer raged through him like a violent riptide, growing even worse when a plea bargain resulted in a reduced sentence for the attacker. He wrote:
My rage was affecting my entire life. “How am I going to let go of this anger?” I wondered. The answer came the first time I saw Mike, almost a year after Scott’s death. Mike stood in court prior to his sentencing and said he was truly sorry for what he had done.
Three-and-a-half weeks later, on the first anniversary of Scott’s death, I wrote to Mike. I told him about my anger and asked some pointed questions. Then I wrote, “Having said all that, I want to thank you for what you said in court, and as hard as these words are for me to write, I forgive you.” I wrote of God’s love in Christ and invited Mike to write to me if he wished.
Three weeks later his letter arrived. He said that when he had read my letter, he couldn’t believe it. No one had ever said to him, “I forgive you.” That night he had knelt beside his bunk and prayed for, and received, the forgiveness of Jesus Christ.
Additional correspondence led to regular visits during which we spoke often of Mike’s (and my) growing relationship with Christ. Later I spoke on Mike’s behalf before a parole board, and he was given an early release. In November 1994, I was the officiating minister at his wedding.
When asked about his early release, Mike says, “It felt good, but I was already out of prison. God had set me free when I asked for his forgiveness.”
Can I truly forgive? I had wondered if it were possible. But I’ve discovered the meaning of the Apostle Paul’s words: “For freedom Christ has set us free.”[2]
Folks this isn’t easy, you might even be saying … “Lord Build My Faith”
If you have enough faith to believe that Jesus can and has forgive you, then you have enough faith to believe that you can forgive someone else
And that’s the right prayer to pray. But let me encourage you, you HAVE the faith, if you have faith to believe that Jesus CAN and HAS forgiven you through his cross and provided an eternity in Heaven, then you certainly have enough faith to believe that you can forgive … The question is will you work the process, in order to reap the harvest? I am so glad that Jesus did for me …
[1] Morgan, R. J. (2000). Nelson's complete book of stories, illustrations, and quotes (electronic ed.) (313–314). Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers.
[2] Morgan, R. J. (2000). Nelson's complete book of stories, illustrations, and quotes (electronic ed.) (315). Nashville: Thomas Nelson Publishers.
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