Mourning Well

 2018-03-18 2 Loss, Grief, and Mourning 1 Six types of losses:
Material loss
Relationship loss
Functional loss
Intrapsychic loss
Role loss
Systemic loss 3 Loss, Grief, and Mourning 1
Grief is the inner response (physical, emotional, cognitive, spiritual and social) to a loss.
Grief is:
Normal
Individual
Messy
Ongoing
“Grief work” consists of:
Accepting the reality of the loss
Feeling the pain fully
Developing a new identity 4 Loss, Grief, and Mourning 1
Mourning is the external expression of our grief
Largely lost in modern Western culture
Jewish “sitting shiva ”
Mourning clothes / accessories
Commemorations 5 Especially Challenging Kinds of Grief 1
Disenfranchised Grief
Complicated Grief
A grief reaction that is debilitating
Coupled with an existing mental health issue
Cumulative Grief
Traumatic Grief 6 The First Year of Grief 1
Diagnosis
Anticipatory grief
Death
1-4 weeks: Numbness
2-5 months: Foggy
5-12 months: Quick Sand
Physical, emotional and social manifestations
Various triggers
Day 366 1 2018-03-18 Day 366 7 How to Accompany the Grieving 1
“First, do no harm”
Avoid needless probing
Let them share as little or much as they want
Don’t compare
Be present and silent
Don’t try to fix it
“Mourn with those who mourn” Rom 12:15; Compassion = “suffer with”
Pray lament psalms with/for them
Prepare for a long journey
Comfort 6, 9, 12 months later
Be patient 8 Resources 1
For grievers: Westberg’s Good Grief
Autobiographies:
Lewis, A Grief Observed
Wolterstorff, Lament for a Son
Sittser, A Grace Disguised
A sensitive theodicy: Stackhouse’s Can God Be Trusted? 2