Sermon Tone Analysis

LOVE IS NOT EASILY ANGERED

HOW DO YOU TAME YOUR TEMPER?

1. RESOLVE To Manage It

We have a choice to make.

We can give “full vent” which is harmful or we can “quietly hold it back.”

Because we have a choice, we can resolve to manage it.

It’s easy to say, “That’s just the way I am...” or, “I can’t change...” without realizing that those statements don’t carry weight.

You can have a major fight with your spouse or children and be angry in the car, but walk into church and be sweet and nice.

That is called managing your anger.

2. REMEMBER The Cost

This verse teaches us that there are two outcomes to anger.

First, anger stirs up strife.

In other words, if you seem to be constantly in conflict with people, look in the mirror and ask yourself, “Am I the one who is projecting anger?”

If you manage your anger, you may see a decrease in strife.

Anger can really hurt relationships.

Anger also causes much transgression, much sin.

Anger can lead to making meaningful change, but one cannot read a newspaper or watch the news for very long to see that postal workers who shoot others, people who go into their former place of employment or into a school are often people who are full of anger.

When we are angry we say and do things we would never say or do if we were not angry.

Anger leads to much sin.

The contrast in this verse is not between a person who is angry and one who is not; the contrast is between the person who is hot-tempered and one who is slow to anger.

Some people get angry quickly at things.

They often get over it quickly, but the results on those around them linger.

It produces strife.

The person who is slow to anger often quiets contention, nips it in the bud before it shows up.

A second cost to a temper is that you lose people’s respect.

A person who is perpetually angry gets tuned out.

They often speak without thinking.

They project negativity.

People dismiss them.

Those who are slow to anger are often people who appear to have greater understanding.

These two truths are brought out in Proverbs 14:17.

The best place to start working on controlling your anger is in the home.

What do you get as a result of causing problems in your home?

Nothing!

The wind!

There is a cost to losing your temper.

The third way to tame your temper is to

3. REFLECT Before Reacting

Think before you do anything.

Some people encourage counting to ten.

A wise man holds back from venting.

Good sense is the ability to look at the bigger picture.

Good sense is remembering what happened the last time you were angry.

Good sense slows up your actions.

People who are able to overlook offenses are people we don’t understand but respect.

We say to them, “How could you let that go?”

We know we wouldn’t.

We honor them for their self-control.

“…it is his glory to overlook an offense.”

Let me share two observations.

First, we need to ask for God’s help in dealing with our temper and how we express it.

The Psalmist realizes that under normal circumstances that things flow out of the mouth that never should come out.

He is praying for God’s help.

God often helps by reminding us to be careful.

God often helps by the rebuke of a friend.

God often helps by His renewing work in us through remembering a verse, a sermon or small group or the awareness of the Holy Spirit in our lives.

A second observation is that anger and alcohol often go hand in hand.

Alcohol and many drugs lower our inhibitions.

Under the influence of alcohol the normal boundaries on our speech and actions are lowered.

People often drink to get the courage to say or do something they would never say or do.

Many families have experienced physical and emotional abuse because of the anger of a person who has consumed alcohol.

Read the newspaper.

Many of the restraining orders and police logs reveal that alcohol was a major part of the problem.

The fourth way we tame our temper is to

4. RELEASE Your Anger Appropriately

Anger is ok, don’t sin.

In this I would suggest your take two steps in dealing with anger.

First, admit the anger.

The fact that you feel angry is not a sin.

God is an angry God.

The problem is that we often release our anger in sinful ways.

So the second step after admitting anger is to ask yourself, “What can I do with my anger that is not sin?”

Sometimes the answer is clear.

Other times we don’t know what to do.

So let me help you with this.

If you don’t know what to do, ask yourself, “What is it that before God I should not do?”

The answer to that question will narrow your choices.

Research has shown that aggression produces more aggression.

When we respond in anger toward someone, then they often respond back in anger.

How do you break the anger train in your home or business?

A soft answer breaks the cycle.

It doesn’t solve the problem, but it can put brakes on the downward spiral.

What is the best way to deal with anger?

Don’t suppress it.

Don’t repress it.

Don’t express it.

Confess it.

The fifth way we tame our temper is to

5. RE-PATTERN Your Mind

This verse tells us that we are to reject the advice of worldly sinful people.

We are to discover what God says and let God change our mind.

If you are a Christian, God wants you to think differently.

The whole Christian life is a life of mental change.

So we start doing what the Bible says.

These verses cause us to think different.

Certain people will influence us away from God.

If you have someone in your life that you are so close to that they influence you in a bad way more than you influence them in a good way, you may need to break that friendship for your spiritual health.

The sixth way we tame the temper is to

6. RELY On God’s Help

Notice who is there to give us encouragement and help us to endure.