Sermon Tone Analysis

Overall tone of the sermon

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Anger
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Tones
Emotion
Anger
Disgust
Fear
Joy
Sadness
Language
Analytical
Confident
Tentative
Social Tendencies
Openness
Conscientiousness
Extraversion
Agreeableness
Emotional Range
Anger
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Concentrate on “let God transform you”
Then on “good and pleasing and perfect”
Go back over messages: uncommon love, uncommon commitment, uncommon communication
Today is:
Uncommon Conflict
There WILL be conflict . . .
Marriage like a deck of cards - starts with two hearts and a diamond.
By the end, you wish you had a club and a spade.
Set up message:
First part some of the causes
Four Causes of Conflict
1. Poor communication.
What we say can worsen what would be a small conflict
Too loose with our tongues.
Men especially.
Man to wife: “I can’t believe you can be so beautiful at the same time.”
She: let me explain.
He made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me.
He made me stupid so I would be attracted to you.”
Should be a daily prayer:
A door has a hinge you can control
First response is not to go to the person.
First response is to go to God for direction.
As Him to put a guard over your mouth.
Second cause:
2. Unfulfilled expectations.
ALL anger starts here.
You wanted something and you didn’t get it and the anger comes.
Disappointment is the beginning of conflict.
BIBLE SPEAKS VERY DIRECTLY TO THIS:
You want something - you can’t get it
I wanted a clear highway and path to work - I didn’t get it
I wanted some peace and quiet - the neighbor’s barking dog . . .
We’re expecting something from man that only God can give.
HERE’S THE 3RD ONE:
3. Despising differences.
We’ve become so polarized
Value in being different -
When God transforms you, part of the transformation is the ability to give grace to what is different from you.
His grace made a way for us to unite with him.
What will YOUR grace do toward those who are different from you?
Speaking of grace,
HERE’S THE 4TH ONE, WE ALL HAVE A:
4. Sin nature.
We’ve all fallen.
We’re all messed up.
Problem is, we want God’s grace - forgive me, etc. - and we withhold it from others.
BIBLE SAYS:
Shouldn’t expect you to always get it right
Four Ways to Deal with Conflict
1.
My way.
My way or the highway
2. Your way.
For sake of peace, I’ll just say ok - but you’re always mad about it
3. Half way.
I’ll let you have your way 1/2 the time, I’ll get mine 1/2 - now you’re just made 50% of the time.
4. God’s way.
God’s way - contrast with the world
I first go to Him and let him do a work in me
Uncommon Conflict
(Ecclesiastes 3:1-5) There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven…a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them.
Always a choice of how to deal with things - you can scatter stones and throw them or you can gather them a make an altar.
Set up the story - Jacob
(Go back and listen at 19:00) for setup on how we allow conflict to take over)
Conflict cannot continue without my participation.
Four Uncommon Responses
FIRST:
1.
I will act not react.
Take steps to RESOLVE, not inflame
Things you should never do:
Never put it off
Never call names
Never raise your voice
Never get historical
Never say never or always
Never threaten divorce.
HERE’S THE SECOND ONE:
2. I will focus on the good things in you.
I CHOOSE to FIND the good things.
Traffice
WHATEVER . . .
Quote next verse . . .
Make a choice
3. I will apply God’s grace to you.
We all want it for Us - BUT PUNISH THEM
Parable of the master who forgave the servant’s debt
CAN’T DO IT UNLESS YOU DO THE 4TH THING ON THE LIST:
4. I will remember God’s grace to me.
When I stop and remember ALL that God has done, it gives me the power to extend grace to others
PRAY!
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