(Marriage Conference) Christlikeness in Marriage

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INTRODUCTION:
When we

Christlikeness in Marriage

How should a husband treat his wife?
gives us an incredible insight into what Godly, Biblical marriage looks like.
Ephesuabs
Ephesians 5:25 ESV
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
Ephesians 5:25 ESV
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
And if we are to summarize i
He is to show Christ like love.
5:22-
He is to show Christ like love?
Does husbands always give Christlike love?
Why not?
Why not?
Instead of loving like Christ,
he loves like satan.
he loves in the selfishness and wickedness of his flesh.
A failure of a husband thus is tied to his failure to be like Christ -
What is the remedy?
Become more like Christ.
Ephesians 4:22–23 ESV
22 to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, 23 and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds,
Let me ask a different question,
What is the standard Sunday school answer for why God gave Adam a wife?
What is the standard Sunday school answer for why God gave Adam a wife?
To be his help-meet.
But what is a New Testament wife supposed to be helping him with?
His job? maybe.
Raising the children so he doesn’t have too?
The cook - because if it is like my house - I can’t cook.
How many husbands would loose 30 lbs if we didn’t have our wives good cooking.
There is probably several ways we could answer this -
but I believe one purpose is to help him be more like Christ.
Let’s talk broader then marriage,
When we speak of sanctification - what is God doing with our lives?
1 Corinthians 11:1 ESV
1 Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.
Romans 8:29 ESV
29 For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.
Ephesians 4:11–13 ESV
11 And he gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the shepherds and teachers, 12 to equip the saints for the work of ministry, for building up the body of Christ, 13 until we all attain to the unity of the faith and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to mature manhood, to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ,
1 John 2:6 ESV
6 whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked.
So - one of the purposes of our lives is that we would be transformed into Christ.
Basic truth.
Let’s go back to that question.
Let’s go back to that question.
What is a NT wife supposed to help her husband do?
I believe, to help him, serve in his role as the head of the home,
more and more like Christ would lead his family.
How rare is it to see a wife trying to encourage her husband to live in a Christlike way?
When they fail, you do exactly what tells us -
you lovingly submit to them so that they will be reminded of their need of Christ.
When they fail you show forgiveness, love, mercy, and compassion.
Or do you make sure everyone knows - when mama is not happy, no one is happy.
, , , ,
How are you helping your husband be the Christlike husband he should be?
Husbands be like Christ
At the same token,
We as Husbands are to love our wives like Christ loved the church.
If God is concerned with the church becoming like Christ,
then should we not also help our wives become more like Christ.
How rare is it to see husband concerned with his wives transformation in the Gospel?
Instead we often are full of selfishness, self-focused,
and content with meeting the material needs.
Gentleman,
If God only wanted us to make sure the bills are covered - then he would have never told us to be like Christ loving the church.
Gentleman
- you are the Spiritual leader of your home.
- you have been given the authority and the obligation to help your wife be a Christlike wife.
Are you encouraging her by practicing Christlikeness in your love for her? (It is hard to ignore true Christlike love)
Are you leading her in devotions, prayer, encouragement, Bible reading … so that she can become Christlike with you?
In my opinion,
God uses relationships to expose our sin and to challenge us to become more like Christ.
If that is true in our relationships in the church,
how much more is that true in our marriages.
Because you know each better than anyone else.
Who else knows your dirt little secrets like you spouse?
If we just put to
Maybe your kids, Maybe?
So often,
the battle ground of our sanctification - our Christlikeness is not found - in our marriages.
Our truest maturity in the Gospel is found behind closed doors, in the privacy of our homes - in how I treat my wife.
With that being said,
I would like to challenge you with 3 areas that Jesus tells us to be like him.
CAVEAT:
Now I do this,
knowing that much of the NT is about sanctification.
- Why do we have the flesh vs spirit chapters in and . - It’s about becoming like Christ.
- What are most of the One Another commands like - Becoming more like Christ.
But 2 important areas I would like to challenge us with-

Are you a Christlike Servant?

Ephesians 5:25 ESV
25 Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,
John 13:14–15 ESV
14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet. 15 For I have given you an example, that you also should do just as I have done to you.
Do you serve your spouse?
Humble Servant like Christ (-???
Do you serve your spouse?
Do you prefer the needs of your spouse over your own?
Jesus is our example,
Do you prefer your wife?
and that is exactly what we ought to do in our marriages.

Do you love your spouse like Christ?

Yes, tells husbands to do this.
But notice all the places believers are told to do this.
Ephesians 5:2 ESV
2 And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.
John 15:12 ESV
12 “This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you.
Love others like Christ
Love others like Christ
, ,
Do you love your Spouse like Christ loved you?
Are there times you pull back? Hold back.
Vulnerabilities
a. Do you fear getting hurt?
b. Have you been hurt, and want to avoid getting hurt again?
ILLUSTRATION: John Wayne Hatari - Burned Hands because left by his previous wife.
Selfishness - I want ...
a. Do you neglect loving your spouse because you love or want something else more.
Hobbies
Possessions
Laziness - I have worked all day and I am exhausted.
4. Indifference to our spouse -
a) Always because we love something else more.
b) But at the same time business of life, familiarity with our spouse can make us neglect our spouse
- she does her thing
- he does his thing.
CONCLUSION:
These two areas really emphasize what Christ came did.
He came as a humble servant.
who loved the world.
One another's is essentially the attributes of God exemplified in our lives.
and gave the greatest sacrifice we ever known.
The Prohibitions and Godliness found in /
Examine -
-
Are you helping your spouse serve Christ?
Are you serving Christ?
And think in terms of your servanthood and your love.
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