Nouthetic Counselling 9

Joel Seah

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HOMEWORK

LESSON OBJECTIVE:

, , ,

A Not just talk, but biblical action!

B From the first session

1 Expect the counselee to do something beginning at the very first session

2 This establishes a pattern for the remaining counseling sessions

C Begin with small, single stranded problems

1 For early success

2 To establish principles and practices more clearly

3 To encourage others

4 To make more visible

5 Great changes in attitudes can come from small changes in action

1 HOMEWORK SETS A PATTERN OF EXPECTATION OF CHANGE

Not just talk, but biblical action!

From the first session

B From the first session

1 Expect the counselee to do something beginning at the very first session

Expect the counselee to do something beginning at the very first session

This establishes a pattern for the remaining counseling sessions

2 This establishes a pattern for the remaining counseling sessions

Begin with small, single stranded problems

C Begin with small, single stranded problems

1 For early success

For early success

2 To establish principles and practices more clearly

To establish principles and practices more clearly

3 To encourage others

To encourage others

4 To make more visible

To make more visible

5 Great changes in attitudes can come from small changes in action

Great changes in attitudes can come from small changes in action

2 HOMEWORK HELPS DETERMINE WHO MEANS BUSINESS

Jesus did this, .

A Jesus did this, .

It exposes the “professional counselee”

B It exposes the “professional counselee”

3 WRITTEN HOMEWORK MAKES EXPECTATIONS CLEAR

Counselees are often excited and

A Counselees are often excited and

Miss points

1 Miss points

Misconstrue assignments

2 Misconstrue assignments

Keeps down arguments

B Keeps down arguments

Even so, explain and get counselee to but in his own words

C Even so, explain and get counselee to but in his own words

The homework becomes a counselor at home between sessions

D The homework becomes a counselor at home between sessions

4 HOMEWORK ENABLES COUNSELLING TO MOVE RAPIDLY

Real change should be happening by the sixth week

B Freud said counseling may take a long time—not guarantees

Freud said counseling may take a long time—not guarantees

Biblical counseling is known for giving help quickly

C Biblical counseling is known for giving help quickly

D It is homework that speeds the process

It is homework that speeds the process

The counseling session is not the “magic hour”

1 The counseling session is not the “magic hour”

The counselee continues to work throughout the week

2 The counselee continues to work throughout the week

Change takes place in the milieu of his life, not in a counseling room

3 Change takes place in the milieu of his life, not in a counseling room

5 HOMEWORK BRINGS PATTERS TO THE SURFACE

E.g. the conference table (which will be explained in a later course)

A E.g. the conference table (which will be explained in a later course)

Try to avoid “canned” homework (one size fits all)

B Try to avoid “canned” homework (one size fits all)

6 HOMEWORK BECOMES THE CRITERION

For judging progress

A For judging progress

For both the counselor and counselee

B For both the counselor and counselee

Also, whether or not the initial data was true

C Also, whether or not the initial data was true

It also shows how much should be given at one time

D It also shows how much should be given at one time

Homework often uncovers other problems that would not have been discovered otherwise

E Homework often uncovers other problems that would not have been discovered otherwise

Complicating problems are often revealed

F Complicating problems are often revealed

7 NEVER FAIL TO GIVE HOMEWORK

GODLINESS THROUGH DISCIPLINE

LESSON OBJECTIVE:

1 Tim 4:7-8

We all know people who are godly, people who instinctively live in a way that pleases God and is pleasing to others. Do these people have abilities that others do not have? Are they more genetically inclined to flourish in the Christian environment than others? How do they get that way?

1 DISCIPLINE IS THE KEY TO GODLINESS

These people did not become godly all at once

1 Not instantly—it took time

Not instantly—it took time

Not easily—it took effort

2 Not easily—it took effort

Godliness has a price

B Godliness has a price

1 That price is discipline

That price is discipline

2 Your counselee must be willing to pay it

Your counselee must be willing to pay it

2 DISCIPLINE IS NOT AN OPTION

God commands it

It is not a pleasing option for some

1 It is not a pleasing option for some

2 Once it is learned, it is applicable to all aspects of life

Once it is learned, it is applicable to all aspects of life

3 It is a goal that is to be labored and struggled for

It is a goal that is to be labored and struggled for

B We are to avoid silly myths

We are to avoid silly myths

C We are to orient ourselves toward godliness and for godliness

We are to orient ourselves toward godliness and for godliness

3 GODLINESS HAS NO SHORTCUTS

Some have devised formulas to do so

Keswick conferences—godliness in one week!

1 Keswick conferences—godliness in one week!

Instant godliness, second blessings

2 Instant godliness, second blessings

B The word “discipline”

The word “discipline”

(gymnazio)

1 (gymnazio)

 (gymnazio)

2 “gymnasium” and “gymnastics” are derived from this Greek word

“gymnasium” and “gymnastics” are derived from this Greek word

Exertion to the point of exhaustion

3 Exertion to the point of exhaustion

4 WHERE IS THE DISCIPLINED FOCUSED?

In righteous thinking—

Your counselee must get control of his mind

1 Your counselee must get control of his mind

This is God’s “leash law” on the mind

2 This is God’s “leash law” on the mind

3 Paul lists categories in which the believer must discipline his mind to think.

Paul lists categories in which the believer must discipline his mind to think.

In righteous attitudes—

B In righteous attitudes—

1 Too many allow moods and emotions to control them

Too many allow moods and emotions to control them

2 Believers do not live by feelings

Believers do not live by feelings

C In righteous behavior—

In righteous behavior—

We are not behaviorists simply because we talk about behavior

1 We are not behaviorists simply because we talk about behavior

2 Paul instructs us to practice—

Paul instructs us to practice—

What we have learned from him

● What we have learned from him

What we have heard from him

● What we have heard from him

● What we have seen in him

What we have seen in him

5 LACK OF DISCIPLINE WILL RESULT IN...

Continual falling back into old ways, old habits, old patterns

BMoving from one mountaintop experience to another, but always on the same mountain!

Moving from one mountaintop experience to another, but always on the same mountain!

Too many counselors give up on counselees too soon

CA “kiss and makeup” syndrome with God

A “kiss and makeup” syndrome with God

Remember how you learned how to drive

B Remember how you learned how to drive

6. SELF DISCIPLINE IS OUR DUTY

This passage is much the same as Paul’s put off/put on passages

B “Deny himself” = to say “no” to self

“Deny himself” = to say “no” to self

“Take up his cross”

C “Take up his cross”

The cross was an instrument of death

1 The cross was an instrument of death

2 The cross is not simply a burden we bear

The cross is not simply a burden we bear

“My husband is just a cross I will have to bear.”

● “My husband is just a cross I will have to bear.”

It is not to be equated with a financial, health, or other burden

● It is not to be equated with a financial, health, or other burden

We must view ourselves as criminals, worthy of death

3 We must view ourselves as criminals, worthy of death

“Daily”—this is the discipline aspect

D “Daily”—this is the discipline aspect

7 DISCIPLINE IS THE WORK OF THE HOLY SPIRIT IN US

Too many counselors give up on counselees too soon

Remember how you learned how to drive

8 HOW DOES A PERSON DISCIPLINE HIMSELF

Understand it is the Holy Spirit at work in us producing—

Love

1 Love

Joy

2Joy

Peace

3Peace

4 Patience

Patience

Kindness

5 Kindness

6 Goodness

Goodness

7 Faithfulness

Faithfulness

Meekness

8 Meekness

9 Self-control

Self-control

We are to structure our lives around God’s commands

B We are to structure our lives around God’s commands

Most of your counselees are not used to nor will want structure

1 Most of your counselees are not used to nor will want structure

Freedom and flexibility comes through structure

2 Freedom and flexibility comes through structure

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