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Nouthetic Counselling 9

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HOMEWORK

LESSON OBJECTIVE:
, , ,
A Not just talk, but biblical action!
B From the first session
1 Expect the counselee to do something beginning at the very first session
2 This establishes a pattern for the remaining counseling sessions
C Begin with small, single stranded problems
1 For early success
2 To establish principles and practices more clearly
3 To encourage others
4 To make more visible
5 Great changes in attitudes can come from small changes in action

1 HOMEWORK SETS A PATTERN OF EXPECTATION OF CHANGE

Not just talk, but biblical action!
From the first session
B From the first session
1 Expect the counselee to do something beginning at the very first session
Expect the counselee to do something beginning at the very first session
This establishes a pattern for the remaining counseling sessions
2 This establishes a pattern for the remaining counseling sessions
Begin with small, single stranded problems
C Begin with small, single stranded problems
1 For early success
For early success
2 To establish principles and practices more clearly
To establish principles and practices more clearly
3 To encourage others
To encourage others
4 To make more visible
To make more visible
5 Great changes in attitudes can come from small changes in action
Great changes in attitudes can come from small changes in action

2 HOMEWORK HELPS DETERMINE WHO MEANS BUSINESS

Jesus did this, .
A Jesus did this, .
It exposes the “professional counselee”
B It exposes the “professional counselee”

3 WRITTEN HOMEWORK MAKES EXPECTATIONS CLEAR

Counselees are often excited and
A Counselees are often excited and
Miss points
1 Miss points
Misconstrue assignments
2 Misconstrue assignments
Keeps down arguments
B Keeps down arguments
Even so, explain and get counselee to but in his own words
C Even so, explain and get counselee to but in his own words
The homework becomes a counselor at home between sessions
D The homework becomes a counselor at home between sessions

4 HOMEWORK ENABLES COUNSELLING TO MOVE RAPIDLY

Real change should be happening by the sixth week
B Freud said counseling may take a long time—not guarantees
Freud said counseling may take a long time—not guarantees
Biblical counseling is known for giving help quickly
C Biblical counseling is known for giving help quickly
D It is homework that speeds the process
It is homework that speeds the process
The counseling session is not the “magic hour”
1 The counseling session is not the “magic hour”
The counselee continues to work throughout the week
2 The counselee continues to work throughout the week
Change takes place in the milieu of his life, not in a counseling room
3 Change takes place in the milieu of his life, not in a counseling room

5 HOMEWORK BRINGS PATTERS TO THE SURFACE

E.g. the conference table (which will be explained in a later course)
A E.g. the conference table (which will be explained in a later course)
Try to avoid “canned” homework (one size fits all)
B Try to avoid “canned” homework (one size fits all)

6 HOMEWORK BECOMES THE CRITERION

For judging progress
A For judging progress
For both the counselor and counselee
B For both the counselor and counselee
Also, whether or not the initial data was true
C Also, whether or not the initial data was true
It also shows how much should be given at one time
D It also shows how much should be given at one time
Homework often uncovers other problems that would not have been discovered otherwise
E Homework often uncovers other problems that would not have been discovered otherwise
Complicating problems are often revealed
F Complicating problems are often revealed

7 NEVER FAIL TO GIVE HOMEWORK

GODLINESS THROUGH DISCIPLINE

LESSON OBJECTIVE:
1 Tim 4:7-8
We all know people who are godly, people who instinctively live in a way that pleases God and is pleasing to others. Do these people have abilities that others do not have? Are they more genetically inclined to flourish in the Christian environment than others? How do they get that way?

1 DISCIPLINE IS THE KEY TO GODLINESS

These people did not become godly all at once
1 Not instantly—it took time
Not instantly—it took time
Not easily—it took effort
2 Not easily—it took effort
Godliness has a price
B Godliness has a price
1 That price is discipline
That price is discipline
2 Your counselee must be willing to pay it
Your counselee must be willing to pay it

2 DISCIPLINE IS NOT AN OPTION

God commands it
It is not a pleasing option for some
1 It is not a pleasing option for some
2 Once it is learned, it is applicable to all aspects of life
Once it is learned, it is applicable to all aspects of life
3 It is a goal that is to be labored and struggled for
It is a goal that is to be labored and struggled for
B We are to avoid silly myths
We are to avoid silly myths
C We are to orient ourselves toward godliness and for godliness
We are to orient ourselves toward godliness and for godliness

3 GODLINESS HAS NO SHORTCUTS

Some have devised formulas to do so
Keswick conferences—godliness in one week!
1 Keswick conferences—godliness in one week!
Instant godliness, second blessings
2 Instant godliness, second blessings
B The word “discipline”
The word “discipline”
(gymnazio)
1 (gymnazio)
 (gymnazio)
2 “gymnasium” and “gymnastics” are derived from this Greek word
“gymnasium” and “gymnastics” are derived from this Greek word
Exertion to the point of exhaustion
3 Exertion to the point of exhaustion

4 WHERE IS THE DISCIPLINED FOCUSED?

.
In righteous thinking—
Your counselee must get control of his mind
1 Your counselee must get control of his mind
This is God’s “leash law” on the mind
2 This is God’s “leash law” on the mind
3 Paul lists categories in which the believer must discipline his mind to think.
Paul lists categories in which the believer must discipline his mind to think.
In righteous attitudes—
B In righteous attitudes—
1 Too many allow moods and emotions to control them
Too many allow moods and emotions to control them
2 Believers do not live by feelings
Believers do not live by feelings
C In righteous behavior—
In righteous behavior—
We are not behaviorists simply because we talk about behavior
1 We are not behaviorists simply because we talk about behavior
2 Paul instructs us to practice
Paul instructs us to practice
What we have learned from him
● What we have learned from him
What we have heard from him
● What we have heard from him
● What we have seen in him
What we have seen in him

5 LACK OF DISCIPLINE WILL RESULT IN...

Continual falling back into old ways, old habits, old patterns
BMoving from one mountaintop experience to another, but always on the same mountain!
Moving from one mountaintop experience to another, but always on the same mountain!
Too many counselors give up on counselees too soon
CA “kiss and makeup” syndrome with God
A “kiss and makeup” syndrome with God
Remember how you learned how to drive
B Remember how you learned how to drive

6. SELF DISCIPLINE IS OUR DUTY

.
This passage is much the same as Paul’s put off/put on passages
B “Deny himself” = to say “no” to self
“Deny himself” = to say “no” to self
“Take up his cross”
C “Take up his cross”
The cross was an instrument of death
1 The cross was an instrument of death
2 The cross is not simply a burden we bear
The cross is not simply a burden we bear
“My husband is just a cross I will have to bear.”
● “My husband is just a cross I will have to bear.”
It is not to be equated with a financial, health, or other burden
● It is not to be equated with a financial, health, or other burden
We must view ourselves as criminals, worthy of death
3 We must view ourselves as criminals, worthy of death
“Daily”—this is the discipline aspect
D “Daily”—this is the discipline aspect

7 DISCIPLINE IS THE WORK OF THE HOLY SPIRIT IN US

7 DISCIPLINE IS THE WORK OF THE HOLY SPIRIT IN US
.
Too many counselors give up on counselees too soon
Remember how you learned how to drive

8 HOW DOES A PERSON DISCIPLINE HIMSELF

.
Understand it is the Holy Spirit at work in us producing—
Love
1 Love
Joy
2Joy
Peace
3Peace
4 Patience
Patience
Kindness
5 Kindness
6 Goodness
Goodness
7 Faithfulness
Faithfulness
Meekness
8 Meekness
9 Self-control
Self-control
We are to structure our lives around God’s commands
B We are to structure our lives around God’s commands
Most of your counselees are not used to nor will want structure
1 Most of your counselees are not used to nor will want structure
Freedom and flexibility comes through structure
2 Freedom and flexibility comes through structure
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