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Nouthetic Counselling 6

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GATHERING DATA

LESSON OBJECTIVES:

1 YOU ALREADY KNOW YOUR COUNSELEES BASIC PROBLEM

The Scriptures have already informed you about your counselee
Adam’s sin underlies every difficulty in life
B Adam’s sin underlies every difficulty in life
1 It led to guilt (not merely guilt feelings but culpability before God)
It led to guilt (not merely guilt feelings but culpability before God)
2 It led to corruption—the inability to please God ()
It led to corruption—the inability to please God ()
C So, the fundamental problem every person has is sin
So, the fundamental problem every person has is sin
“There you go again”
1 “There you go again”
The elephant and the blind man
2 The elephant and the blind man
3 This is the broadest view you can take
This is the broadest view you can take
D This sin can be presented in various ways
This sin can be presented in various ways
It could be sin committed against your counselee
1 It could be sin committed against your counselee
● Perhaps he does not know how to handle it
Perhaps he does not know how to handle it
Perhaps he has responded to it sinfully .
● Perhaps he has responded to it sinfully .
It could be sin committed by the counselee himself
2 It could be sin committed by the counselee himself
So, in one direction or another, you will be looking for sin and its consequences
The one exception is when you are called on merely to supply information (perhaps in order to make a decision)
E So, in one direction or another, you will be looking for sin and its consequences
F The one exception is when you are called on merely to supply information (perhaps in order to make a decision)

2 WE ALREDY KNOW WHY SOME PEOPLE COME FOR COUNSELLING

A Advice and answers to troublesome questions
B Depression and guilt
C Vocational counsel
D “Breakdowns” and crises of various sorts
E Failures
F Grief
G Bizarre behavior
H Anxiety, worry, fear
I Marriage and family problems
J Help in resolving conflicts
K Deteriorating personal relationships
L Inability to keep jobs
M Drug and alcohol problems
N Abuse
O Sexual problems
P Attempted suicide
Q Difficulties at work or school
R Deteriorating spiritual life

3 YOU MUST BE AWARE OF THESE MATTERS

So that you can be on the lookout for them
B Counselees are not always aware of the nature of their problems
Counselees are not always aware of the nature of their problems
C Counselees may only speak of one difficulty while there may be others
Counselees may only speak of one difficulty while there may be others

4 SOME TYPES OF HABIT PATTERNS

Avoidance ()—running or hiding
Blame-shifting
B Blame-shifting
1 Frequently between a husband and wife
Frequently between a husband and wife
In all cases sort out the responsibilities
2 In all cases sort out the responsibilities
3 Each must do the right thing before God regardless of what the other does
Each must do the right thing before God regardless of what the other does
Laziness .
C Laziness
D Harboring grudges, resentment, bitterness ()
Harboring grudges, resentment, bitterness ()
Giving up , .
Undisciplined living (; )
E Giving up , .
Shutting down communication ()
F Undisciplined living (; )
G Shutting down communication ()
Lying ()
H Lying ()
Complaining ()
I Complaining ()

5 HOW WILL ALL THESE HELPS?

Soon you will find yourself anticipating where the counseling is going.
B Be exceedingly careful NOT to jump to conclusions
Be exceedingly careful NOT to jump to conclusions

COMMON PROBLEMS

LESSON OBJECTIVES:

1 THERE ARE PROBLEMS COMMON TO VARIOUS CLASSES OF PEOPLE

THERE ARE PROBLEMS COMMON TO VARIOUS CLASSES OF PEOPLE
Children
Parent/child relational problems (especially obedience)
1 Parent/child relational problems (especially obedience)
Peer group difficulties
2 Peer group difficulties
School problems with teachers
3 School problems with teachers
In adolescence: sexual difficulties
4 In adolescence: sexual difficulties
B Older children and singles
Older children and singles
Dating problems
1 Dating problems
Failure to find a friend, husband, or wife
2 Failure to find a friend, husband, or wife
3 Sexual problems
Sexual problems
Communication breakdown with parents
4 Communication breakdown with parents
Decisions about the future—college? career?
5 Decisions about the future—college? career?
C Older singles
Older singles
Resentment over not finding a spouse
1 Resentment over not finding a spouse
Habit patterns that have contributed to this
2 Habit patterns that have contributed to this
3 Work, scheduling, eating problems
Work, scheduling, eating problems
4 Homosexual, lesbian possibilities
Homosexual, lesbian possibilities
Married persons
D Married persons
Strains in the marriage
1 Strains in the marriage
Difficult marriage relationships
2 Difficult marriage relationships
Money problems
3 Money problems
Communication breakdowns
4 Communication breakdowns
Depression
5 Depression
Child-related problems
6 Child-related problems
Older persons
E Older persons
Loneliness—especially after the death of a spouse or divorce
1 Loneliness—especially after the death of a spouse or divorce
Grief
2 Grief
Self-pity
3 Self-pity
Physical aches and pains
4 Physical aches and pains
Sleep loss
5 Sleep loss
Purposelessness
6 Purposelessness
Fear of death
7 Fear of death
Handicapped persons
F Handicapped persons
Resentment against God or others
1 Resentment against God or others
Self-pity
2 Self-pity
Sense of uselessness
3 Sense of uselessness
Loneliness
4 Loneliness
Physical pain
5 Physical pain

2 IT IS IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHAT TO LOOK FOR

A The principle problem—the problem initially presented by the counselee
B The complicating problems—problems that arise from failing to handle the principle problem biblically
The complicating problems—problems that arise from failing to handle the principle problem biblically
Life dominating problems—problems that get into every area of life .
Think of your counselee’s life as a pizza with a number of slices
C Life dominating problems—problems that get into every area of life .
Deal with each slice as it is affected by the problem (drunkenness)
Friends
1 Think of your counselee’s life as a pizza with a number of slices
2 Deal with each slice as it is affected by the problem (drunkenness)
Marriage
● Friends
● Marriage
The Spirit needs to fill every area where the bottle used to fill
3 The Spirit needs to fill every area where the bottle used to fill
Filled, not as a gas tank
● Filled, not as a gas tank
But, as a theater—every seat filled
● But, as a theater—every seat filled

3 DISCOVERING PROBLEM PATTERNS

In discussing the put off/put on passages from , the matter of habit patterns emerged.
1 Because of the all-pervasiveness of such patterns, it is critical to discover whether there are such patterns in a counselee’s life.
Because of the all-pervasiveness of such patterns, it is critical to discover whether there are such patterns in a counselee’s life.
One way to do so is through using a Discovering Problem Patterns (DPP) form.
2 One way to do so is through using a Discovering Problem Patterns (DPP) form.
B The DPP is a flexible instrument. If a counselee is concerned about breaking a pattern of eating between meals, he may keep a DPP to determine what he desires to eat. He may discover that this is connected with certain situations
The DPP is a flexible instrument. If a counselee is concerned about breaking a pattern of eating between meals, he may keep a DPP to determine what he desires to eat. He may discover that this is connected with certain situations
1 When watching TV?
When watching TV?
Under some kind of stress?
2 Under some kind of stress?
3When concerned about children?
When concerned about children?
4 Just before supper when hungry?
Just before supper when hungry?
In interpreting the DPP form look for recurring events, situations, or periods of time. The pattern may be geographical, chronological, interpersonal, and so on.
C In interpreting the DPP form look for recurring events, situations, or periods of time. The pattern may be geographical, chronological, interpersonal, and so on.
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