Developing a Heart for Others

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July 25, 2004

by J. David Hoke

      I heard a story recently of guy marooned on a deserted island. He had been there for years and finally saw a helicopter in the area. He built a fire and signaled the helicopter to land. The pilot gladly offered to take him off the island and said, “Go get the others and we all can leave together.” The marooned guy said, “You don’t understand, this island is deserted except for me.” The pilot inquired, “Well, what are those three huts over there for?” The marooned guy replied, “The first hut is my house and the one beside that is where I go to church.” The pilot asked, “What’s the other hut for?” The guy said, “That’s where I used to go to church.”

      I’ve heard of church members who can’t get along with one another, but you ought to be able to get along with yourself! Apparently this guy could not even do that.

      Unfortunately, one of the sad consequences of living in our fast paced society is that we are losing the ability to develop meaningful and lasting relationships with others. We live far too often on the superficial level. And as a result we are finding ourselves more empty and less loved than ever before.

      As Christians we should know all about how to love. We claim to follow a God of love. And He has told us to reach out to everyone with the love of Jesus. It doesn’t matter whether they are in the church or outside of the church. Love is a mark of genuine Christianity. It is the evidence that we are authentic followers of Jesus. And it not only is the basis for fulfilling and caring relationships within the church, it is also the basis for effective outreach to those who do not know Jesus Christ as their Savior. People respond to genuine love.

      We have been talking, in this series, about developing a healthy Christian life, and we have been looking at the quality characteristics that are evident in healthy Christians. Today we look at Developing a Heart for Others. A healthy spiritual life will be found in those who reach out in love both to one another and to those who are without Christ. We must have loving relationships in the church without neglecting those outside of the church.

Your Love Must Reach In

      God calls us to love one another. In fact, the Bible has so much to say on this topic that we could spend the entire day today just reading the verses on love. Let me share just a few:

This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another.                              — 1 John 3:11 (NIV)

We know that we have passed from death to life, because we love our brothers.                             — 1 John 3:14 (NIV)

This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers.                                                   — 1 John 3:16 (NIV)

Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth.                                   — 1 John 3:18 (NIV)

A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.                                                           — John 13:34-35 (NIV)

      Healthy loving relationships must be built within the church. This is the proving ground for us as Christians. Those outside the church are watching what happens inside the church to see if we really are who we claim to be — followers of Jesus. And all too often we fail at this point.

      You see, we don’t get to choose who is in the church. If the church were our idea, we would have made it full of people who were just like us, who thought like us, agreed with us in everything, and did not irritate us in any way. But like our own family, the church family is not like that. Just as we didn’t choose our earthly family, we don’t choose our spiritual family either.

      But we are called to learn to love our earthly and spiritual families. In fact, Jesus said that our love would be the evidence that we are truly following Him.

      The supreme example of true love is Jesus Christ. Christ is our example of how to really love. As we read in 1 John 3:16: This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down His life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. God is love. And God sent His Son Jesus Christ because He loved us. Jesus came and died because of love. He gave the supreme sacrifice – the sacrifice of His own life. And now He calls us to love one another with the same kind of love.

      Let’s look again at Jesus’ statement in John 13:34: “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another.” Here is the key. We are not to love just as we love ourselves, but as Jesus loved us. In the old commandment, we were to love our neighbor as ourselves. In the new commandment, we are to love one another as Jesus demonstrated He loved us. This is the new extent, or the new degree of love we are to demonstrate.

The question then becomes, “How did He love us?” The answer to that question is simple when we look at Jesus’ life. Jesus loved us when we didn’t deserve His love, when we weren’t too lovable, because we needed His love. And He loved us sacrificially. Listen to John 15:13 (NCV): The greatest love a person can show is to die for his friends.” And this is what John is telling us in our text today. He says that we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers. Jesus loved us enough to lay down His life for us. And what makes this love even more incredible is that He did it while we were still in our sin. Consider Romans 5:8 (NIV): “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

      So, how do we manifest the kind of love Jesus manifested in His sacrificial death? How do we show this love to the world? What is the evidence of this love? The evidence of love is good deeds. Love is not only an attitude; it is an action as well. We are told to love with actions, which are good deeds, and we are told to love in truth, which is a right attitude. In these ways we can demonstrate the love of God in practical ways.

      Now all of us want to love. But sometimes we just don’t know where to begin. There are, however, some practical ways we can demonstrate our love to one another.

      First, we can show our love for one another by how we think about one another. The thought is the father of the deed. It says in Proverbs that a person is how he thinks in his heart. If we have critical and judgmental thoughts concerning one another, we can be sure that the love of God will not be manifested by our lives. Loving actions must first begin by loving attitudes. We must give one another the benefit of the doubt. We must see one another through the eyes of faith and hope. In Romans 15:7 (NIV) we read, “Accept one another, then just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.” We are to receive one another as Jesus received us. When we came to Jesus we were all freely accepted. We must cultivate an attitude of acceptance toward one another. This is one way we can show our love.

      Another way in which we can demonstrate our love is by how we speak about and to one another. The Scriptures exhort us to speak words seasoned with grace. Words are powerful things. They can either encourage or discourage. The words we speak ought to be words of encouragement. If you become someone who always has an encouraging word, people will beat a path to your door. Everyone likes an encourager. No one likes a cynical, sharp-tongued backbiter. Speak words of encouragement. This is another way you can demonstrate your love.

      Finally, we can also show our love by how we act toward one another. We must not love in word only, but also in deed. We need to think right thoughts about one another, speak right words about one another, and do right deeds for one another. Love, you see, is not a feeling – it is an action of the will. To give your enemy a cup of cold water is to show love. Sometimes the smallest things are enough. But whether great or small, we cannot show love in a passive way. We must be pro-active in our love. Love is something we do. An act of kindness here, a good deed there – love in action – that is what we want. What is it that you can do to show your love to someone else? Begin to do it. It will have a powerful impact.

      But in order to develop genuine and loving relationships we must be willing to invest the time to do so. Let me challenge you to take the time to do this. Invite someone you don’t know well over or out for lunch or dinner. Get to know them. Call them up this week. Take the time. Invest the energy. It will be worth it. Your love must reach in.

Your Love Must Reach Out

      Remember, Jesus said that we testify to the world that we are really His disciples by how we love one another. Love testifies. Love liberates. Love also has the power to liberate others around us. When the world sees our love they become more receptive to the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Love can liberate an entire society of people because they desperately need love. Your love must not only reach in but it must also reach out. It must reach out to those outside the church who do not know Christ.

      A number of years ago, I became aware of a unique approach to reaching people that, being a former broadcaster, was fascinating to me. It was the story of how KBIQ, an easy-listening radio station in Seattle, developed an innovative outreach ministry. They began running “God commercials” during their regular programming. During these commercials, they would address a contemporary problem. Somewhere towards the end, they would introduce the idea that perhaps a relationship with God could solve that problem. Finally, they would say something like: “If you would like to know how Christ can relate to your life in this practical way, call 546-6551. ‘People Who Care’ are standing by to talk with you and you can call right now.” Counselors were standing by to receive the calls. And many lives were changed as a result of this ministry. In fact, a book was written to share the testimonies of those who found Christ as a result of this unique ministry.

      While I was fascinated by the details and effectiveness of this ministry, one of the most powerful challenges to my own personal life came from the name itself. The ministry was called, “People Who Care.” It struck me that this describes the kind of people we, as Christians, ought to be. We should be people who care. We should be people who care about lost people.

      We should care because Jesus cares. People are important to God and so people should be important to us. Are lost people important to you? You were once one. Are you glad that Christ loved you while you were lost? I am. His love is still reaching out to lost people. But it is reaching out through you and me — those who know Him. We are charged with the task of sharing His love with the world.

      Jesus said, “All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” — Matthew 28:18-20 (NIV)

      It says in Romans 10:13 that “Anyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.” But is goes on to say in the following verses, “But before people can ask the Lord for help, they must believe in him; and before they can believe in him, they must hear about him; and for them to hear about the Lord, someone must tell them.” — Romans 10:13-14 (NCV)

      And listen to what we read in 2 Corinthians 5:17-20 (NCV): If anyone belongs to Christ, there is a new creation. The old things have gone; everything is made new! All this is from God. Through Christ, God made peace between us and himself, and God gave us the work of telling everyone about the peace we can have with him. God was in Christ, making peace between the world and himself. In Christ, God did not hold the world guilty of its sins. And he gave us this message of peace. So we have been sent to speak for Christ. It is as if God is calling to you through us. We speak for Christ when we beg you to be at peace with God.”

      God wants us now to participate in this work of telling others about how to have peace with God! But how do we do this?

      We find the key when is says that He has given us the message of peace. We have been given a message to share. We have not only been given grace but the secret of grace. We have been given a message that sets others free. We have been given a message that pardons. We have been given living message. It is living because we have experienced its power. It is living because we have been set free by believing it.

      This message is the truth of the gospel. It is the truth that anyone who believes in Jesus can be set free. It is the truth that there is no sin too black that Jesus cannot forgive it. It is the truth that there is no problem too complex that Jesus cannot solve it. It is the truth that our neighbors can be saved. It is the truth that our relatives can be saved.

      Now it should be obvious to any of us that a message must be spoken. Someone once observed that many Christians are like the Arctic River, frozen over at the mouth. Unless we speak this message of reconciliation, others will never hear it. The greatest tragedy of all would be to have the truth that sets men free, and never to share that truth.

      And we will not share it if we do not care whether people come to Christ or not. We must become people who care. Our hearts need to be changed. We need to see with God’s eyes and feel His heart toward those who don’t know Him.

      Again, this means that we must invest the time and energy to reach out to people. We can’t simply sit back and expect it to happen. People need people to show them the way.

A man fell into a pit and couldn't get himself out.

  • A SUBJECTIVE person came along and said: “I FEEL for you, down there.”
  • An OBJECTIVE person came along and said: “It’s logical that someone would fall, down there.”
  • A CHRISTIAN SCIENTIST came along: “You only THINK that you are in a pit.”
  • A PHARISEE said: “Only BAD people fall into a pit.”
  • A MATHEMATICIAN calculated HOW he fell into the pit.
  • A NEWS REPORTER wanted the exclusive story on his pit.
  • A FUNDAMENTALIST said: “You DESERVE your pit.”
  • CONFUCIUS said; “If you would have listened to me, you would not be in that pit.”
  • BUDDHA said: “Your pit is only a state of mind.”
  • A REALIST said: “That’s a PIT.”
  • A SCIENTIST calculated the pressure necessary (lbs./sq.in.) to get him out of the pit.
  • A GEOLOGIST told him to appreciate the rock strata in the pit.
  • AN EVOLUTIONIST said: “You are a rejected mutant destined to be removed from the evolutionary cycle.” In other words, he is going to DIE in the pit, so that he cannot produce any “pit-falling offspring.”
  • The COUNTY INSPECTOR asked if he had a permit to dig a pit.
  • The COUNTY TAX ASSESSOR came along and figured the taxes he owed on the pit.
  • A PROFESSOR gave him a lecture on: “The Elementary Principles of the Pit.”
  • An EVASIVE person came along and avoided the subject of his pit altogether
  • A SELF-PITYING person said: “You haven’t seen anything until you’ve seen MY PIT!!”
  • A HEALTH AND WEALTH PREACHER said: “Just CONFESS that you’re not in a pit.”
  • An OPTIMIST said: “Things COULD be worse.”
  • A PESSIMIST said: “Things WILL get worse!!”
  • JESUS, seeing the man, took him by the hand and LIFTED HIM OUT of the pit.

May God make us like Jesus — People Who Care — about one another and about those who don’t know Jesus.

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