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Sign of the Times (Then/Now)
The Christian view of marriage for the most part is still viewed as the ideal by the majority of people.
In theory Jews looked at marriage as sacred and held in the highest regard.
“Every Jew must surrender his life rather than commit idolatry, murder or adultery.”
“The very altar sheds tears when a man divorces the wife of his youth.”
(slide) But now let me bring it ahead, we know there is the law of divorce found in Deut24, and there were several schools of thought on that.
(slide) Only adultery (Rabbi Shammai)
(slide) Any reason (Rabbi Hillel)
(slide) If finds no favor in wife (Rabbi Akiba) -basically meaning if finds favor in another can get rid of the other.
So that was not much different than today is it?
No frill divorces; anytime, any reason.
But what about the time of Paul and his writing?
Under Jewish law the the wife had no rights of divorce at all, unless the husband became a leper or an apostate.
We think divorce is easy today all a Jewish man had to do was hand a certificate of divorce to the wife that had been witnessed by a Rabbi and it was done, only the dowry must be returned.
By the time Christ came, many Jewish women did not want to marry at all because they had no rights in marriage.
Now how about the culture of the times too, outside of the Jewish culture.
Greek culture -prostitution
Greek culture, prostitution was part of the Greek life according to Demosthenes he stated that There were courtesans for pleasure, concubines for cohabitation and wives for having children.
Greek wives were not seen, not heard and not asking any questions, they were basically secluded.
Roman culture was even worse.
for 500 years there was no recorded divorce, but by the time of Paul’s writing one writer “Seneca” said that women were married to be divorced and divorced to be married.
They would know time (months, years) by who they were married to.
The marriage bond was on the way total destruction.
This is the background in which Paul is writing, he is not addressing issue of divorce as he dealt with the Corinthian church (see 1Cor7) he is addressing marriage as it should be and using it as in illustration of the marriage of Christ and the Church.
Paul staying with his topic here in chapter 5 of a Christian life, Christian purity and Christian walk now brings in our passage today about the sanctify and purity of marriage.
I. Wives submission
Even before reading the passage I want to emphasize that this is often taken to extremes or out of context so let me bring into context then we will look at the passage.
Submission is one of the proof’s of being spirit filled as we discussed previously, and in case you were not here.
Eph5:
Speaking to one another
Singing and making melody
G
Giving thanks
Being subject (submissive to one another)
The last one is a lynch pin holding the previous together with the present text.
Paul uses marriage submission as an illustration to prove the being filled with the Spirit.
Also we go on to look at the passage let us remember Paul is writing to Christians who were mostly from Gentile, Greek or Roman culture (pagans) with some Jews mixed in.
He is really going to give his thoughts and views on marriage.
(slide) Reason for the command is given.
(slide) Lordship of Christ (v.22)
(slide)Headship of man in Christ (v.23)
Headship is not dictatorship, no where can you find that the scripture give authorization for the husband to make the wife submissive.
Because of (v.21) both are submissive already, the wife will chooses a place of submission because the Lordship of Christ.
It is a limited submission, as to the Lord, so ungodly things would not be acceptable.
Submission does not mean obedience to husband in this passage, it is still meaning obedience to the Lordship of Christ and proof of Christian Spirit filled walk.
Christian marriages should be filled with husband and wife praying together, studying together so they may know the will of God and to carry that out.
The husband maybe the authority but if you don’t know the real authority in which all things were placed under His feet, Christ than you can’t know the will of God.
(Insert marital counseling issues have seen) = failure to submit to Christ by one or both parties, by not submitting it leaves door open for sin.
Unfortunately sin committed before marriage has a way of impacting things after marriage
(slide) First point in marriage illustration: It is submissive
II.
Husbands love your wives
Eph5:25
Much more time is spent in dealing with the husband than the wife.
Maybe men need more instructions than women.
Maybe it is if men get it right and hold to the standard that is laid down then the marriage will be in accordance to God’s will.
Love you wife as Christ loved the church, Christ loved so much that He gave Himself us for the Church.
Paul could not be speaking any higher of marriage than this.
To be a Christian husband is a great thing with great responsibilities too.
The husband is not the enforcer, he is to be the lover, to love his wife (v.25, 28, 33).
He is to care for her, to want and desire the greatest good for her, this is agape love.
(slide) Paul goes on to tell the husband why (vv.25-26)
(slide) Starts with his sacrificing himself for her
(slide) Husbands love should desire to make holy (sanctified)
(slide) Why, so he can present her perfect (without spot/blemish)
(slide) Would be holy and blameless
Those are some pretty high things, now you can see the Paul is talking about the greatest good for her, he does not stop there he goes on to tell the husband, who needs lot’s of instruction (not because of lack of intelligence like media makes husbands) because the husband is responsible and held accountable, how to do it.
Christ gave Himself up for the church before the church was the church, but with the church in view, of what would be.
A husband gives himself up for the wife at marriage on all that the marriage is intended to be, just like Christ did.
Speaking of sacrificial love the early church writer Chrysostom said this.
“Hast thou seen the measure of obedience?
Hear also also the measure of love.
Wouldst thou that they wife shouldst obey thee as the Church doth Christ?
Have care thy self for her as Christ for the Church.
And if it be needful that thou shouldst give they life for her, or be cut to pieces a thousand times, or endure anything whatever, refuse it not. .
.”
Now that is really not the end of the quote it ends with
“He brought the Church to his feet by his great care, not by threats nor fear nor any such thing; so do though conduct thyself towards thy wife.”
Sanctification is a process but it starts with justification and that starts with the washing of the water of the word.
This when looked at washing of water has to reference to baptism, this is confirmed by both F.F. Bruce and Jack Cottrell early commentators and scholars.
So the Word, the preaching of the gospel (i.e.
Rom10:17; the belief and confession of the gospel message (Rom10:9-10) the submission, obedience to the gospel (Mt28:19).
All of this so can be presented as a radiant church
Christ is cleansing the church so the church can be presented by the ministry of His Word.
Christ gave the word to the Apostles who gave the truth to us and we received it and obeyed it out of love.
The husband ought to love the wife like Christ did and wash her (and himself) with the Word, both being unified, both being submissive to Christ and being transformed into the likeness of Christ (Rom12:2), how?
By the Word.
Love like this always will enrich a life and enlarge it and it is selfless and self-sacrificing.
It says present without “spot or wrinkle” - while we the church are not perfect, but we are being perfected.
Spots are caused by defilement on the outside while wrinkles actually are caused by decay on the inside.
The church need to be constantly purified by the Word.
May the church not have wrinkles, but be vitalized and kept active by the washing of the word, the nourishment we need.
One day we will be presented, and we should be a beautiful and glorious church.
So the marriage is to be sacrificial and sanctifying and it should be satisfying too.
(vv.28-30) for we are to be one flesh!
(insert story, trying to be sure attentive and excited about things that excite Tabby)
How many times have I heard “He just doesn’t show me or tell me he loves me” Woman want to know and shown they are loved.
The husband is called to love his wife, to be one flesh with His wife and part of that is showing it.
There should be no love starved wife’s just as there should not be any husbands that do not feel respected.
The marriage is spiritual, it is physical and it is emotional and all those needs should be met.
The Christian home, Christian marriage is a picture of the relationship between Christ and His Church.
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