Carson and Haley
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Family, friends, and Honored Guests,
It is my great honor to welcome you all to the Wedding of Carson Baskin and Haley Gentry.
Carson and Haley, these people who have gathered are here today because they love you and desire to share in the joy of this special occasion. I could not be more filled with joy to see today ready to commit your lives to each other. Haley, it was the day before my wedding last year, with Carson as one of my groomsmen, I asked him when and if he planned to ask you to marry him. With out hesitation, he told me, “Oh its going to happen, all we’re working out is the when.” Haley I got to meet you a little less than a year ago, but I’ve known Carson for almost 2/3’s of my life and I can tell you, I’ve never seen Carson happier in my life than since he’s been with you. About a year ago preached a sermon entitled… “what difference does it make?” in relation to our belief about acknowledging God as the creator. I don’t have time to give you all details to support my conclusion, that it does make all the difference. Acknowledging God as creator, acknowledges Him as our savior, our savior from sin. As our creator, one who is by all definitions LOVE, created a function of love as a gift to His created humans, Adam and Eve…Marriage. He instituted marriage as a gift, something to be cherished, honored, and respected. Marriage is a joining of two flesh as one. As worshipping God honors Him, who has so richly blessed us. Uniting in marriage also honors God, as he is the creator of marriage. It is a sacred vow in which you are making to one another that God has already made to his people. “to have and to hold, to protect, never abandon, remain faithful in sickness (both physical and spiritual) and health (both physical and spiritual), to hold each other accountable, and partner in the nurturing and growth of your family. God has made this solemn vow to His people, and has never once wavored in his commitment to us His children. Likewise as you vow to each other to love and support one another, you honor God.
I myself, have only been married for a grand total of 14 months. I cannot claim to be an expert on marriage just yet. Although, have mercy, I can tell you I have sure learned a lot in 14 months…for instance. I have learned very quickly my wife notices the little things, both and good and bad about myself. You can hide things about yourself for so long, but when your married, it all comes out…and that is a positive thing. Having someone love you despite your flaws. For instance my wife loves me even though I am absolutely terrible at doing dishes, but she appreciates me all the more when I do the best I can in contributing in their washing.
Carson I am going to tell you this right now. On the day you know you’ve done something awful, or you have let your wife down. Do those dishes!!!! I’m telling you washing the dishes softens the anger…I’m just saying, take it or leave it…I’m just saying ☺ Haley, I also know from the husbands perspective. We know we are wrong, and wrong often. We don’t handle it well being embarrassed that we are wrong. Husbands want to be respected. I understand respect is something that needs to be earned. But a husband will feel respected when their thoughts are heard and valued even if ultimately the wife wins the argument, and the husband realizes he’s wrong. Haley, please be gentle with Carson as you express when he’s wrong. Carson even on that day when you are right, and should’ve won. Remember the old phrase…Happy Wife, Happy Life…I think that may have been what Paul was getting at when he says in scripture, Husbands love your wives and honor them.
However, I don’t want to paint a picture of marriage being something that is simply opposing players winning and losing battles. Never forget, you are on the same team. Make no mistake, when one of you loses, the other loses the same. When one of you is in pain, you both are in pain. Your experiences are to be shared. The same goes for your successes. Celebrate with each other and continue to build each other up. Lift each other up!
Haley, you are joining a family I’ve considered a 2nd family as long as I have known them. The Baskin clan is as loyal and loving as they come. They have waited for you to come along and I know they are excited for you to join the family. Carson, you are also joining a family who is entrusting you with their beloved Haley…both of you now have a much larger family. You now have even more people looking out for you, and praying for you actively. As you vow to eachother your commitment to one another, you are committing to a life of faithfulness to eachother.
You PROMISE TO NEVER FLIRT, LUST, OR DESIRE THE ATTENTION OF SOMEONE OF THE OPPOSITE SEX.
When you get married, you vow faithfulness to your spouse. You vow exclusivity to them. You promise to never flirt, lust, or seek attention from the opposite sex. You promise to protect your mind from images that aren’t your spouse.
You are vowing an exclusive love to your spouse. But when you vow exclusivity to your spouse, you vow more than physical purity. You vow emotional purity as well. You promise to never to confide in someone else of the opposite sex or be flattered by someone of the opposite sex.
Emotional purity is much less obvious than physical purity, but it’s just as destructive. You must fight to give all of your emotions, your desire to impress, your attention, struggles, heartaches, and everything in between to your spouse. These don’t belong to other people. Fight for purity, both physically and emotionally.
YOU PROMISE TO LOVE THE OTHER WHO THEY ARE TODAY, NOT WHO YOU WANT THE OTHER TO BE.
For the sake of your sanity and your marriage, please listen. You can’t change your spouse. You don’t have that power.
If this is your goal, two types of weeds will infest your relationship: bitterness and resentment.
One of the profound mysteries of marriage is two people with different IDEAS learning to love, flourish, and celebrate one another. It’s not easy, but that’s why you must rely on God and embrace the unique values He places in every person, including your spouse. Don’t focus on working to “fix” your partner. Work to allow God to transform you. If God can transform you, then he can transform your partner. But remember it is God who is the transformer, not you.
Your spouse will hurt you and vice-versa. When this happens, search your heart, seek God, and forgive your spouse the same way God forgives you.
Don’t forgive with conditions. Don’t say, “I forgive you” when you’re really storing your spouse’s mistake to use as ammo in a future argument.
Unless you forgive the way God forgives you, completely and unconditionally, a wall will grow taller and taller in your relationship. Eventually, bitterness and resentment will make intimacy impossible, and your marriage will be nothing more than two roommates living under the same roof.
I’m going to be honest here. At some point, you will face a trial and may be tempted to give up. You might think “Not us.”
Marriage takes hard work. This is an understatement. You might even come to the realization that marriage is more work than you signed up for.
When this season comes, the line between giving up and pressing forward will be drawn by your community. If your community caters to your ego and feeds any “woe is me” attitudes, the line will be easy to cross. Ultimately the community that you surround yourself with can be one of your greatest assets as a newly married couple. Surround yourself with people who can and will uplift you and help you and be there for you.
Carson and Haley, whenever I baptize someone, I ask that those attending stand and vow that they will pray for these new believers and be a community that surrounds and supports them. I like to do the very same in weddings. I’d like to ask those who are here today, who are connected to this couple in some form or another through various relationships (that’s all of you)…I’d like to ask you to stand. I am going to read to you a vow to them from you, and if you are agree…at my prompting, please say to the couple “We will”
On the behalf of Carson and Haley, I am asking for your prayers and support as they begin marriage together. Do you pledge to pray for them as they work on building a deep and abiding love? (we will)
Carson and Haley will need determination and patience to cultivate their love for one another. Do you pledge to support them in every way as they build a Christ-centered marriage?
(we will)
thankyou you may be seated.
Carson and Haley (this is it) please face eachother and join hands.
Carson, do you vow before God and these loved ones who have gathered, to love Haley, and to support her in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, and to be faithful both physically and emotionally in taking her as your lawfully wedded wife?
Haley do you vow before God and these loved ones who have gathered, to love Carson, and to support her in sickness and in health, in good times and bad, and to be faithful both physically and emotionally in taking Him as your lawfully wedded husband?
It is my pleasure then as a minister of the gospel and the seventh-day Adventist Church to pronounce you Husband and Wife. Carson you may now kiss your wife!
It is my honor to introduce to each of you Mr. and Mrs. Carson & Haley Baskin.