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Fine China Or A Rusty Pan

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2 Samuel 25:2  Now there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel, and the man was very rich. He had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. And he was shearing his sheep in Carmel.  3  The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail.  And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings. And he was of the house of Caleb.  4  When David heard in the wilderness that Nabal was shearing his sheep,  5  David sent ten young men; and David said to the young men, Go up to Carmel, go to Nabal, and greet him in my name.  6  And thus you shall say to him who lives in prosperity: Peace be to you, peace to your house, and peace to all that you have!  7  Now I have heard that you have shearers. Your shepherds were with us, and we did not hurt them, nor was there anything missing from them all the while they were in Carmel.  8  Ask your young men, and they will tell you. Therefore let my young men find favor in your eyes, for we come on a feast day. Please give whatever comes to your hand to your servants and to your son David.  9  So when David's young men came, they spoke to Nabal according to all these words in the name of David, and waited.  10  Then Nabal answered David's servants, and said, Who is David, and who is the son of Jesse? There are many servants nowadays who break away each one from his master.  11  Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have killed for my shearers, and give it to men when I do not know where they are from? 12  So David's young men turned on their heels and went back; and they came and told him all these words.  13  Then David said to his men, Every man gird on his sword. So every man girded on his sword, and David also girded on his sword. And about four hundred men went with David, and two hundred stayed with the supplies.  14  Now one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal's wife, saying, Look, David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master; and he reviled them.  15  But the men were very good to us, and we were not hurt, nor did we miss anything as long as we accompanied them, when we were in the fields.  16  They were a wall to us both by night and day, all the time we were with them keeping the sheep.  17  Now therefore, know and consider what you will do, for harm is determined against our master and against all his household. For he is such a scoundrel that one cannot speak to him.  18  Then Abigail made haste and took two hundred loaves of bread, two skins of wine, five sheep already dressed, five seahs of roasted grain, one hundred clusters of raisins, and two hundred cakes of figs, and loaded them on donkeys.  19  And she said to her servants, Go on before me; see, I am coming after you. But she did not tell her husband Nabal.  20  So it was, as she rode on the donkey, that she went down under cover of the hill; and there were David and his men, coming down toward her, and she met them.  21  Now David had said, Surely in vain I have protected all that this fellow has in the wilderness, so that nothing was missed of all that belongs to him. And he has repaid me evil for good.  22  May God do so, and more also, to the enemies of David, if I leave one male of all who belong to him by morning light.


Introduction:  I would like to begin this message by saying that I am a son of a God fearing woman, a husband, a pastor and a father.  I am not here to humiliate women, nor am I here today to let you off the hook because you refuse to use the God given brains you have stored in your skulls.  What you think about yourselves and how react tomorrow all depends on if you will have an open mind to the message today.  The first thing to realize and accept is that all men don’t act like dogs.  Perhaps the men you have had in your life before acted like dogs, but I repeat…all men don’t act like dogs.  Men do grow up and when they grow up they want a woman that already has herself together in mind, body, soul and spirit.  He is not going to be looking for a fixer-upper…he is not coming in to a relationship to pay your rent, fix your car, pay for your nails and get your hair done.  If all you want is a “Sugar Daddy” then sugar is all you’ll get.    

But before we can talk about finding a man, let’s talk about finding you.  You must love you before you will ever be able to truly love a man.  Too many women, who think they hate men, really hate themselves for what they have allowed men to do to them.  But life can’t go on until you have learned the lessons from the past and move on realizing that we all make mistakes. 

The single life you live should be a wonderful experience.  Many women have the gift of singleness and they wouldn’t have it any other way.  They go when they want, they come when they want and don’t have to answer to anybody but God.  If a man happens to find them…cool, if they don’t cooler, because happiness is not found in another person.  If you are not happy with you, a man can’t make you happy.  If you are needy and emotionally immature now, you will be the same way if someone comes into your life.  You can’t ask a man to treat you any better than you treat yourself.

The other thing is that women hand over their heart too soon.  When you search for a mate the wrong way…you will get the wrong mate.  Women who follow their senses and care so much about external things such as looks or money will find what they are looking for.  But the problem is that is never the end of the story.  The next thing you do is give him your heart just because he is giving you some attention.  You don’t bother to try and get to know what kind of person he is or what kind of character he has.  You may notice that there are some things that are not quite right about him, but you ignore it…you overlook it, because you are so desperate to be in love and be loved.  Now you are unhappy and you question why?      

Just a little sideline suggestion from a man…if you see a real man that has caught your eye, RUN!  Men have not changed since Adam and men love the chase.  Another thing…if you don’t have a Dad that can check a man out for you, bring him to Church.  You have some Pastors and some brothers who can see if he is man-up enough for you.  All it will take is a hand shake and a few words and we will know what we need to know.  Now brothers these hurting women don’t need any sexual healing form us…they need fathers and brothers.  Do not fail in this trust!!!

What is your worth woman of God?  You should not look for a mate until you know who you are and the value of your being.  You must be comfortable with who you are as an individual before you are ready to spend your life with a man.  The only way to discover who you are is to seek God and seek His development of you.  Your true worth must be found in Christ first.  Look at what He thinks about you:

Psalm 138:8  The Lord will perfect that which concerns me; Your mercy, O Lord, endures forever;  Do not forsake the works of Your hands.

Psalm 139:13  For You formed my inward parts;  You covered me in my mother's womb.  14  I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made;  Marvelous are Your works,  And that my soul knows very well.  15  My frame was not hidden from You,  When I was made in secret,  And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth.  16  Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed.  And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.   


The Bible goes on to tell us that God knows the thoughts and plans that He has for us.  


Jeremiah 29:11  For I know  the   thoughts  that I think toward you, says  the  Lord,  thoughts  of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.


Jeremiah 29:11 (Amplified) For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and peace and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome.


If God only wants the best for you, shouldn’t you want the best for yourself?  God has plans for a good future, if we follow Him and do things His way.  It is when we decide we are going to do things our own way that we get ourselves into trouble and our lives really get messed up.  Until you get it right in your own mind you will always be insecure, needy, weak and looking for someone else to feel complete.

Wisdom would be to stop and take a hard look at your self.  If you keep finding yourself in different relationships with the same TYPE of man, then something needs fixing.  If a man is physically violent and verbally abusive while you are dating him, he may not change if you marry him.  If a man is overbearing and mean while you are dating, if he won’t work, won’t take care of himself, has no connection with his own family, if he brakes up with you just before Christmas and shows up after New Years…he probably doesn’t want anything to do with marriage.  If every time you go out to dinner, to the movies and you are the driver and you are picking up the check…Selah, THINK ABOUT IT!!! 


Sisters…if a man says he cares about you, if he says those words you want to hear, “I Love You,” there ought to be some proof.  Make sure you have had time for the relationship to develop to the point that what he is saying is true.  Know what kind of person he is.  If he doesn’t open your car door for you now, if he doesn’t seat you first now, if can’t pay his own bills now, then how is he going to treat you later?  Slow down, find out how he reacts when he is angry, and take time to see his true colors.  If you give the relationship enough time, you will find out who he really is, because no body can keep up an act for ever…the real man will show up.                   

If you rush into sex because you can’t control your body…you lose.  If you rush into sex because you are being pressured…you still lose.  You need to know, why the rush?  If all he wants is your body, the giving stream will stop as soon as he gets it.  For some reason women think that if they make a man wait for sex too long that he won’t stay.  Wrong Answer!!!  If a man is truly in love with a woman and if he really understands her love for God and her obedience to His Word, he won’t leave.  If a man doesn’t have a relationship with the Lord himself, then why are you talking to him in the first place?  If it is a good relationship that is meant to be, if this is the man God has sent for you, HE WON’T LEAVE!!!  Don’t you think that you are worth the best?  Don’t you feel that you are worthy of the loving care of a GOOD man?            

People read Proverbs 31, where it speaks of a “Virtuous Woman” in verse 10 and always use it as a guide for what a good woman should be.  It does give a great description and it is a great model for all women.

The Proverbs 31 woman is smart, she is hard-working, she takes care of her responsibilities; she cares for her home and family, she is kind and generous and cares for her own and for others as well.  She is wise.  She is a woman of great character.  But even more interesting is her husband.  I think people often times overlook him.  If you read that passage of scripture, you will find out that he is a model of what a good man is or should be.  He is well respected by other people (Proverbs 31:23), he sees his wife as a jewel, a rare find (Proverbs 31:10), he is safe and secure in his love for her and her love for him because he knows she only has his best interest at heart.  He finds value in his wife as a person.  He praises her above all other women (Proverbs 31:28, 29). 

If there ever was a pattern for a man…this is it.  He is a GOOD man.  He doesn’t try to manipulate or rule over or bully his wife.  He recognizes her worth as a human being and her wisdom and allows her the freedom to be who she is.  He lets her bloom and blossom under his love for her.  He doesn’t treat her unkindly or with disrespect.  Sisters, THIS is the type of man you should ask God to bring into your lives.  

The godly man is the one who knows how to treat a woman and treats her the way she deserves to be treated.  But, you woman of God must open our eyes and see beyond externals and you have to become a women of character and wisdom yourselves.  You must carry yourselves with dignity and self-respect.  You can’t expect a man to treat you with kindness and respect if he knows that you don’t even respect yourself.  If you allow a man to disrespect you, if you put up with manipulation and abuse, if you let a man beat on you, you are saying to him that you don’t respect yourself enough to walk away and you feel you deserve to be treated that way.  But if you ask God to show you how to be a woman of character and wisdom, through His word and His Spirit, He will show you how to carry yourself in such a way that you become a woman of dignity.  

1 Peter 3:7 tells men: “Husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.

Let’s go to the text.

2 Samuel 25:2  Now there was a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel, and the man was very rich.  He had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats.  And he was shearing his sheep in Carmel.  3  The name of the man was Nabal, and the name of his wife Abigail.  And she was a woman of good understanding and beautiful appearance; but the man was harsh and evil in his doings.

Notice what the text says about Nabal and Abigail.  It said that Abigail was of good understanding and beautiful appearance, but the man was harsh and evil in his doings.  First you need to understand that the name “Nabal” means fool.       

Now David had been protecting Nabal’s property.  He had a great army with him and he could have robbed this man and taken his sheep for food, but he did not.  Instead he kept thieves and raiders from getting the sheep.  He did many things to assist Nabal.  Now that David needs food, he sends his young men to ask for help.  


Then in verses 11 & 12 we find these words: Shall I then take my bread and my water and my meat that I have killed for my shearers, and give it to men when I do not know where they are from?  So David's young men turned on their heels and went back; and they came and told him all these words. 

Someone in Nabal’s household learned of this and told Abigail.  When Abigail heard what had happened between her husband and David’s young men, she knew what David would do.  So she got together a lot of food.  Abigail went out to meet David with food before he could get to Nabal because David plan was to kill every man that belonged to Nabal.  Soon after David is on his way, he sees a woman coming.  He also sees all the food and his men are hungry.  He stops his men before this beautiful woman.  For the first time David, God’s anointed, is face to face with a noble woman who means well by him.  She bows before David.  She gets right down in the dust and asks David to take his revenge upon her because she is Nabal’s wife.

She is wise in what she does because David is not about to do anything to a beautiful woman with an appeal like she made!  Then she apologizes for the fact that her husband is a fool.     

Time won’t permit me to tell this hold story but just let me read verses 32 – 42 and I will close.

1 Samuel 25:32  Then David said to Abigail: Blessed is the Lord God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me!  33  And blessed is your advice and blessed are you, because you have kept me this day from coming to bloodshed and from avenging myself with my own hand.  34  For indeed, as the Lord God of Israel lives, who has kept me back from hurting you, unless you had hastened and come to meet me, surely by morning light no males would have been left to Nabal!  35  So David received from her hand what she had brought him, and said to her, Go up in peace to your house. See, I have heeded your voice and respected your person.  36  Now Abigail went to Nabal, and there he was, holding a feast in his house, like the feast of a king. And Nabal's heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk; therefore she told him nothing, little or much, until morning light.  37  So it was, in the morning, when the wine had gone from Nabal, and his wife had told him these things, that his heart died within him, and he became like a stone.  38  Then it came about, after about ten days, that the Lord struck Nabal, and he died.  39  So when David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, Blessed be the Lord, who has pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal, and has kept His servant from evil! For the Lord has returned the wickedness of Nabal on his own head. And David sent and proposed to Abigail, to take her as his wife.  40  When the servants of David had come to Abigail at Carmel, they spoke to her saying, David sent us to you, to ask you to become his wife.  41  Then she arose, bowed her face to the earth, and said, Here is your maidservant, a servant to wash the feet of the servants of my lord.  42  So Abigail rose in haste and rode on a donkey, attended by five of her maidens; and she followed the messengers of David, and became his wife.



People really don’t believe this but, good things do come to good people.  Abigail went from a fool…to a king.  She was a wise woman and God blessed her for her wisdom.  Woman of God, hurt and frustration may very well be your past, but it doesn’t have to be your future.  Take time for you, love yourself, take yourself out and begin to enjoy life with you and the Lord.  The question is, are you “Fine China” or a “Rusty Pan?”                      

I was thinking about Calvin Broadus, better know as “Snoop Dogg” and what he represents and not realize that he is an actor on a stage that hangs with Pimps, but goes home to Mrs. Snoop Dogg (what ever her real name is). Mrs. Snoop Dogg ain’t hearing, nor does she have to deal with Snoop Dogg’s street ways.  When Snoop comes home, he is a husband to his wife and a father to his children.  If Snoop has any daughters, they are getting the scoop on the game and learning what not to take from men like any other father would do.  The Producers use Snoop and Snoop uses the Producers to sell CD’s, but when he goes home…his dog like ways stay in the street.  

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