(don't worry abt textbook answers. Try be honest. Give what is popular.)
1. What is dating, "in relationship" for?
2. What is marriage? What is marriage for?
3. What is sex for? Is it a big deal who you have sex with?
- Realised in TV ppl have sex before they say I love you. In fact saying "I love you" is a bigger deal than sex.
4. What do these passages teach us about, marriage (what it is, what its for): , , .
- God-given union between man and woman
- union that supersedes all other human relationships, because its not merely a relationship between two separate human beings, they are essentially "one flesh" - one shared human life/experience
- limited to this life only. Hinted at in "one flesh" (till death do us part).
- the means in which humans procreate and fill the earth () - will be obsolete in the age to come
- to portray the loving union between God and His people, Christ with His church. Christians are members of Christ's body "bone of His bones, flesh of His flesh". The husband sacrificing himself to protect her and bring out the best of her (enable her to flourish) , while the wife respects him and follows his lead. This all is again unnecessary in the age to come. As faith will be sight. Sidetrack: .
- human marriage is not the final or ultimate experience. Christ and His church is.
5. Read . What is sex for? Why is it so big a deal?
- reproduction (see above)
- sex is not merely something physical (animal) with no lasting significance, like eating. E.g I'm hungry so I eat, I'm horny so I have sex.
- during sex, a couple's bodies are united on a much deeper level. You are acting out on the physical level, what married couples are emotionally, socially etc i.e "one flesh".
- since we Christians belong to God (bought at such a high price i.e with His precious blood), we have been united to Christ. Since we "one in spirit" with Christ how then can we be "one in flesh" with a prostitute or anyone else besides our spouse?
- in fact (without pushing the metaphor too far) sexual ecstasy is but a foretaste of the pleasures that we will enjoy with Christ when our marriage is consummated.
- that is why adultery is so serious a crime. It hurts so much when the person we crush on likes someone else. How much worse when you're spouse cheats on you with other lovers. Unfaithfulness to a spouse is to say your spouse is not enough. He/she is not worth being loyal to. Which is why our unfaithfulness to God is often described as spiritual adultery. It hurts God too. Adultery fails to portray the exclusive devotion between God and His people.
6. What about? Bible does not talk about it i.e You're either single or married.
- just because its not in the Bible doesn't automatically mean that dating is a sin!! It just means we need to dig deeper and look harder for principles that will guide us.
7. Does contemporary dating clearly have marriage as its goal?
8. Does contemporary dating prepare you for a Biblical marriage?
9. How does contemporary dating and Biblical marriage differ?
- e.g I knew of a couple who had an expiry date. They just wanted to be together so they wont be alone, 'status' etc.
- e.g I know of someone who broke up with his nice bf because she didn't laugh at his jokes.
- its about self-fulfillment rather than self-sacrifice
- stick together as long as I'm happy, instead of committed to the end (through sickness and health etc, rich or poor etc).
- if its a relationship that doesn't have marriage as its goal, or doesn't prepare you for it, its a waste of time, effort, emotional investment etc.
- focus more on being the right one instead of finding the right one.
- Deal with lust - pornography (or even less than porn, romance novels!) do not prepare you for the Biblical marriage.
I) The average girl (or guy) can't compete with supermodels/actresses/pornstars. I know of guys who turn down nice girls because they're not hot enough. As in, they fear that they won't be satisfied with them.
ii) Many wives are crushed when they find out their husbands are into porn. They feel so inferior. Even if they could compete, one day they too will grow old and ugly.
- - lust. Think Cyclops and Emma Frost. Girls this also is a reminder to help your brothers out. Dress modestly. But in any case we have all failed in this area.
- But thankfully, despite all our ugliness and unfaithfulness (we're not beautiful on the inside either), Christ still chose to love us. Still chose to marry us. Cleansing us with His blood. So that now we're are pure and beautiful in His sight, and will live happily ever after with Him forever. So focus on that.
- And if God in His time, chooses to allow you to experience a glimpse/preview of that in a human marriage, be thankful. But never think that is the ultimate thing. It is only temporary. And it is pointing forward to something far more important and lasting.
- see both married people and single people play important roles. Those who are married must portray the marriage between Christ and His church. But those who are single should live in a such a way to remind even the married people, that our true marriage, comes later.