Four Foundational Principle for Successful Marriage /Relationship
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Most it important thing in life is to know that nothing just happen , Laws and principle guides and sustain Life , you cannot break them and expect things to work , they work when you obey and put them to conscuious practice.
Law of aurodynamic , plan don’t just fly . if you don’t understand and work this principle you will wake up thing you marriage wrong , when i got marry noting prepare me for it , but i understand nothing just happen. work
Violating every principle of marriage , will not work , when God create anything he creates it for success including marriage and relationship.
God created marriage on Law of his Word and Kingdom .
-24
Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh. And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed.
Four principle that God created to make marriage work.you have 100% chance to success in your marriage , you are made for marriage , you are made in your mothers womb to success in your marriage . don’t be fearful , you don’t have a 50 /50 chance you have 100% chance to succeed , if you do it God way, is not complicated , if it is complicated I will not be able to do it . God doesn’t use me to do this because am special , if i can do anybody can .
Principle of Priority: for this cause a man shall Leave his mother and his father . Leave : you reprioritise you life , not that you become hostle to your friend or family but you priority changes . Your Spouce become first . Listen Marriage only work in first Place , it will not in any other place .
Legitimate Jealous : is allowed in marriage . you have it immediately you have a kids or marriage , it is natural insists . You become protective . You become to me first :
For thou shalt worship no other god: for the Lord, whose name is Jealous, is a jealous God:
ex
God said in our relationship : you belong to me first . I have people say don’t be possesive , you are not ready for relationship . You belong to me first . God say my name is Jealous : intolerance of rivary . God is not seek Jealous , is passionate Jealous , He fight for the relationship with us .
He resent everything in our life that takes his place . am thankful for God who loves me and fight for the relationship. Marriage you become jealous went something as taken you place in each life . beging nothing offset the priority of marriage. Man to career and Woman to children . Pressure on the family . God makes marriage to get better every year . not a life time of degree., if only work in first place .
How to maintain Priority in your Marriage :
Have to be Proven in real time not words. you can just say you are first in my life you have to prove you are first in my life.
How ?.
Sacrifice : what will you will give up for me : ministry , game , habits, associate , friends ,
Time : Consistence with Priority . if you tell me am first their must me time : Time is the commodity / currency of relationship. Money is currency of business . to ruin your relationship all i need to do is keep time away from it . Even God said spend time with me . quite time . Spend time , Your are going to fast , where are running to , pace done , so much electronic intruation in our life . when you on date don’t take call ,but when you are married you take the calls . get discipline , spend time with your wife .
Energy :
Attitude : I want to be with you .
Protect your relationship or marriages from Good things Out of Priority . (Issue with Minister , especially with men that think we have found purpose ). Fear . Thanks you for saving the world for me . (lol)
Samuel you have communicated to her that thing is more important to her . she need your first , don’t lay your family , on the altar of success. The most important thing God, Relationship , Children ,Church , Work.
Show them how … Show to your children you Prioritise their mother . Family don’t build around children , they build around marriage .we are going be united front .
God thing out of priority , i will make any chance in my life expect from Jesus Christ you are the priority in my life .
Principle of Pursuit: A men shall cleave to his wife : his work . you have to make it work.
CLEAVE: to adhere firmly and closely or loyally and unwaveringly, Become very strongly involved with or emotionally attached to (someone). Marriage is work, . Cleave is energy word . as you as you have her , you start taken her for granted , that is human nature. We work until we get something secure then we start to take it for granted . You have have to work at your marriage no mater how long and far you have been married . if you don’t take her out no body will.
If i married the right person the emotion will happen naturally thorough out out marriage . (wrong) .
Work on your home and your marriage , make it great, make your bed great , treat her great. especially African Men . don’t take your wife . relationship for granted. no soul mate , lol. your soul mate
The best marriage a two very different people that have a lot of incompatibility , that roll up their sleive and work till they become best friends . Have High Goal and high work ethic . Your emotion will be their to the degree you work by it . You cannot depend on emotion to run your marriage (Agape Love) . Grass is greener syndrome , when the grass look greener on the other side is time to water your own yard . Every body look good at distance.
The Manna Principle ( marriage work on Manna Principle ). not a one time adventure , should last for a long time .
Every body look at distance
Positive advance , gesture , should fill our relationship for long time. (date , dinner , holiday ). the Children of Isreal .
You cannot accumulate it . if you do it will stink / grow worms
You can only pick one days worth, except for sabbath day
Need one every morning .
Need to be display every day. (daily relationship).
Men thinks of Points (Point system, but every point evaporated every midnight ) , but women thinks of relationship.
It is every day deal , not accumulating point. every day given , everyday Love .
“And to the angel of the church in Sardis write: ‘The words of him who has the seven spirits of God and the seven stars.
“ ‘I know your works. You have the reputation of being alive, but you are dead. Wake up, and strengthen what remains and is about to die, for I have not found your works complete in the sight of my God. Remember, then, what you received and heard. Keep it, and repent. If you will not wake up, I will come like a thief, and you will not know at what hour I will come against you. Yet you have still a few names in Sardis, people who have not soiled their garments, and they will walk with me in white, for they are worthy. The one who conquers will be clothed thus in white garments, and I will never blot his name out of the book of life. I will confess his name before my Father and before his angels. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’
“And to the angel of the church in Philadelphia write: ‘The words of the holy one, the true one, who has the key of David, who opens and no one will shut, who shuts and no one opens.
“ ‘I know your works. Behold, I have set before you an open door, which no one is able to shut. I know that you have but little power, and yet you have kept my word and have not denied my name. Behold, I will make those of the synagogue of Satan who say that they are Jews and are not, but lie—behold, I will make them come and bow down before your feet, and they will learn that I have loved you. Because you have kept my word about patient endurance, I will keep you from the hour of trial that is coming on the whole world, to try those who dwell on the earth. I am coming soon. Hold fast what you have, so that no one may seize your crown. The one who conquers, I will make him a pillar in the temple of my God. Never shall he go out of it, and I will write on him the name of my God, and the name of the city of my God, the new Jerusalem, which comes down from my God out of heaven, and my own new name. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’
“And to the angel of the church in Laodicea write: ‘The words of the Amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of God’s creation.
“ ‘I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked. I counsel you to buy from me gold refined by fire, so that you may be rich, and white garments so that you may clothe yourself and the shame of your nakedness may not be seen, and salve to anoint your eyes, so that you may see. Those whom I love, I reprove and discipline, so be zealous and repent. Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me. The one who conquers, I will grant him to sit with me on my throne, as I also conquered and sat down with my Father on his throne. He who has an ear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches.’ ”
Remember where you first Love .
Nevertheless I have this against you, that you have left your first love.
You cannot be out of Love . it grows
Principle of Possession : They two shall become one Flesh . we share everything in this marriage. Marriage is about sharing , not just cheques book, children , but life .the term the bible use is ONE. time , money , children , goals.
One thing that affect this , is the Law of Dominants. we never discuss who is the boss in our marriages, you no what Jesus is the Boss is our marriage. we are totally equal.
How can you be dominant: force of your personality , thorough tone of intimidation , you are going to pay a price if cross me , if you speak your mind , thorough manipulation , is not a male or female issue . dominant simply means am not going to share . is mine and not sharing . am in control . time , kids , presence .
Law of independence. am going to just do my things . sharing , independent , shelfness , I need you attitude .
Law of Possession. (negative way ) it is mine ,
1cor 7
Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out.
1cor 7:
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does.
I will not use my body not as a weapon or barging chips .
asking your spouse opinion on every matter . never makes your partners to suffer for saying the truth , the spirit of marriage is that we are partners here .
The word MINE destroy relationship ,. is our , children , cars , house .
Principle of Purity :(Naked and not ashamed ).
before the fall . Eden . pleasure and delight . Naked . fig leave on the area , where they are different and sensitive part of their life .
Leaving your marriage in Purity is ability to discuss your weakness without consequence.
Sin of trust . hide your difference and sensitivities . Cover with Figs Leaves .
I have to be careful what is do , I never say am sorry , you are great sex , but not intimacy .
I couldn’t trust you.
Take responsibility . Careful in the way your treat each other the fig leave come off.
Spiritually , emotionally , Physically , they can talk about anything with no shame , You are my save place .
Blame Transfer was transfer was the first problem of Marriage in the Bible . Devil , Evil and Adam. Take responsibility .
Part One .