Sermon Tone Analysis

I’ll never change

God gave us a unique body and mind that he made to hold all the truth, love, joy, and peace that he wanted to give us.

But instead of this our lives are full of ugly, nasty lies.

What thoughts do you have that you think are pleasing to God, and which ones are polluted?

When someone first explained Christ’s love and forgiveness to you, how did you respond?

So many of us have piles and piles of guilt and blame inside us.

Do you think that all this stuff inside you that is bad can be cleaned out with a little determination and self-control?

Or, is it tied to who you are and what you think about yourself?

God doesn’t just want to save us, but he wants to change us and transform us to become like Jesus Christ in the way we think and act.

Is this possible?

Shame

What is shame?

It is deeper and stronger than guilt.

Shame is the belief that we did something wrong, and because of this, we are not a good person.

It personalizes the blame and sees that there is something wrong with us.

This is a terrible feeling.

It is more than just a reaction to our mistakes.

It is an overriding feeling that we are worthless and rejected.

We tell ourselves that the kind of mistakes that we make are expected from somebody who is such a failure as we are.

We expect the worst out of ourselves because we believe that is who we are.

We know that we are no good on the inside.

This is the last lie we will be looking at.

Lie #4: I am what I am.

I cannot change.

I am hopeless

We tell ourselves that nothing works.

I just can’t be fixed, therefore I must just live with it.

A test to see if we are living in shame

I often think about past failures or experiences of rejection - don’t think about much else then negative things or rejection.

There are certain things about my past that I cannot recall without experiences strong, painful, emotional reactions - haven’t got the messages that have been sent to you.

I seem to make the same mistakes over and over again - in a repetitive pattern it is because our identity is tied to those mistakes, then we don’t think we can do anything else than making those mistakes.

There are certain aspects of my character that I want to change, but I don’t believe I can successfully do so - suffer with inability to never overcome some behavior in their life.

They believe that this is all they can have.

Why? they can’t overcome it.

The behavior has become so identified as them that they are that.

I feel inferior - many very successful people are so because a sense of inferiority drives them.

There are aspects of my appearance that I cannot accept - we can change some aspects, like weight.

But this is more like basic appearance, what I look like.

I am generally disgusted with myself - they don’t need anyone to hate them, because they hate themselves more than anybody else could.

I perceive myself as an immoral person - many people because of past failures do not believe that they can live a moral lifestyle

I feel that I have lost the opportunity to experience a complete and wonderful life - Satan tells them that they will never experience joy

Where do these sources of shame come from?

It really comes from our own minds when we believe the negative messages that significant people in our lives tell us.

Family neglect - parents were/are too preoccupied to give them the attention and love they need.

parents were/are wrapped up in their own problems like depression, alcohol or drugs.

What do our minds think: No time = No care.

No care = No value.

We can then think that we are not important enough to deserve our parent’s time and attention.

Family control - parents that dominated/dominate their kid’s lives and rule their homes with authoritarian, iron fists.

Parents assume they know what is best so they impose their views on them.

Feel as though your life is not your own and you can’t do anything to make your parents happy.

Self-worth is based on your parent’s demands and desires.

Something must be wrong with you if you can’t make decisions on your own.

Family abuse - deepest shame comes from aggressive, attacking families: verbal (sarcastic put-downs) and ridicule, physical (hitting, withholding meals, demeaning labor), and/or sexual abuse (invades the body and usually threatens them to keep it secret).

How does shame destroy us?

Shame does some pretty damaging things to us.

Inferiority - the feeling that the person is not as good as everybody else.

Think of themselves as a total loser, not worth anything.

Self-destructive behavior - a pessimistic outlook on life, seeing yourself through the eyes of shame.

Engage in self-destructive behaviors like eating disorders, drug use, alcohol abuse, reckless living.

Self-pity - see themselves as victims and so blame others or condemn themselves for their actions.

Withdrawal and isolation - we know we will fail so we don’t try.

Find solo activities to avoid interaction with others.

Despising appearance - feeling ugly because of comparison to standards of beauty created in one’s own mind.

Codependent relationships - become addicted to the feeling of being needed by a family member or friend who has a problem or compulsion.

Inferiority - the feeling that the person is not as good as everybody else.

Think of themselves as a total loser, not worth anything.

Self-destructive behavior - a pessimistic outlook on life, seeing yourself through the eyes of shame.

Engage in self-destructive behaviors like eating disorders, drug use, alcohol abuse, reckless living.

Self-pity - see themselves as victims and so blame others or condemn themselves for their actions.

Withdrawal and isolation - we know we will fail so we don’t try.

Find solo activities to avoid interaction with others.

Despising appearance - feeling ugly because of comparison to standards of beauty created in one’s own mind or from culture.

Codependent relationships - become addicted to the feeling of being needed by a family member or friend who has a problem or compulsion.

Whose voice should you believe?

Do you listen to yourself and the “facts” of different disappointments in your life in order to build your self-worth?

Blame is “hearing the voices of others telling you that you don’t meet the standards they set.”

Shame is hearing your own voice tell you that you are a failure for life and you will never change.

There is a dialogue that is happening, and it can go something like this:

Satan: “Your life is a mistake.

It has no purpose or meaning.”

God: “I have made you what you are.

In Christ Jesus, you were made to do good works, which I planned in advance for you to live your lives doing.”

()

Satan: “You’ve done so many bad things that God will never accept you or forgive you.”

God: “Those who are in Christ Jesus are not judged guilty.”

()

Satan: “You will never change.

What you are is what you always will be.”

God: “If anyone belongs to Christ, they are a new creation.

The old things have gone; everything is made new!” ()

The choice

You can break free from Satan’s lies and the evil in your past and be set free to live with new attitudes since God is present in your life, or you can stay stuck in your pride and sinfulness.

Which will you choose.

If you listen to what God says, you will here a different story than, “I am what I am.

I cannot change.

I am hopeless.”

“to be renewed in the spirit of your minds” or it could be said, “you were taught to be made new in your hearts.”

The way to change is to change what we put in our hearts and minds.

We have to stop focusing on certain messages that we play and replay in our heads over and over.

These messages have taken root, and are stuck in our minds.

We must not believe these lies, but instead believe what God says.