Thanksgiving is a Sacrifice
February 9, 2001
When you sacrifice a thank offering to the Lord, sacrifice it in such a way that it will be accepted on our behalf.
It's been a rough morning so far. I feel like I am not loved and that I cannot ever trust Bob. He seems to have no ability to hear God. He entered into this and had to ask me if it was okay. This is appalling and I am feeling very insecure.
I think, God are You allowing this so I get another chance to react to a lying, cheating husband in the "right" way? What is that way? I do not know it. I feel like giving up, telling him to get out of my life. I don't want to do this again or anymore.
The most difficult part is thinking that the only reason he stopped was the pain it caused, that he didn't really repent from godly sorrow. He got caught and it was no fun anymore.
The challenge in my Bible is in the words "in such a way that it will be accepted." Of course Christ is the perfect sacrifice and He has been accepted, but the Bible also tells me to offer myself to God as a living sacrifice. . . in such a way that will be accepted.
God does not want the fleshy, sinful nature. He does not want my selfish motives or a mind that is conformed to the world's thinking.
The world would dump a man like mine. Christians who know him have no idea. They think he is such a wonderful husband. Their standard is measured by other men, not by Christ.
The world says manipulate him or browbeat him to make him do what I want him to do. That is not acceptable either. So what are my options?
First Peter says if a man does not believe the Word he might be won without words by my behavior. Bob believes the Word. It doesn't seem that I should be silent and meek about a Christian sinning against me.
That brings me to Matthew 18. I've already spoken to him and he seemed to be sorry but I don't know for sure. He fakes things very well.
I guess my only options are to do all the right things myself and wait it out, trusting God to deal with him. I don't know what it will take, but I am tired of seeing him be so highly regarded by others when I know that he is not a person of integrity. He never admits wrong. Never. He justifies himself if confronted and makes it the fault of others, often me. That is not right. It repulses me and it must sadden God, to say the least.
Lord, I want to bring to You an offering of thanksgiving. It will be a sacrifice. I don't feel thankful but I know that I've a perfect Sacrifice that is worthy of gratitude. Keep me today. I feel on the edge of slipping into great despair.