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Are mothers necessary?

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Title:                                         Are Mothers Necessary
Sermon Notes: Jerry de Gier Sermon #:
Subject: motherhood Given: January 14, 2006
Occasion/Group: Pasadena Written: January 2006
Word File Name: are mothers necessary.doc Updated:

I.                    Introduction

“The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”  Those words were coined in 1865 by W.R. Wallace.  Is it true?  Do women, mothers in particular, have that much influence over the outcome of events that shape the world?

If this is true, what type of people should those of us who are mothers be and do we value, truly value the place that women, especially mothers, should have among us?

How do mothers sometime feel about themselves?

Read Perfect Madness, pages 4 & 5

Is this how some of the mothers in the feel?  This mess!  Is it that way and if it is, why?  Is it because that is the reality of the life the mother leads or is it a perception based on something else?

What do mothers contribute to this society and others and are they necessary for stable families? Let’s ask the question today….

II.                  S.P.S.

Are mothers necessary?

III.                Body

A discussion about mothers should also take into account all women at some point and let’s build a foundation first about women and their contributions and their responsibilities.

Gen 1.26-28—

So women, just the same as men are created to have dominion over the earth.  They are to help subdue the earth and the creatures and plant life that is on it.

Women are to be educated and illuminated in God’s word just as men are.  But we have different roles.  Does this mean women are relegated to home and that’s it?  The Bible doesn’t say that specifically.  It does say that the women has an important spiritual role to play in God’s Kingdom.

Rom 8.14-17-

So women have the same destiny as men do.  They have the same importance in God’s eyes as men do and men should realize that and treat them as such.  There are obvious physical differences and God through Peter tells us to treat them accordingly – this instruction is given through the relationship of marriage.

1 Pet 3.7-

They are physically weaker than men – we should treat them accordingly.  They are to grow in the grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ just as the men are but are sometimes limited in the physical work that they can do.

So women do you feel equal to man in this description.  We have not brought marriage into the picture yet – that is another issue.  For now from the scriptures men and women have equal billing when it comes to God.

So are you doing what is necessary to make relationships grow?  Are you learning to make friends and be a friend?  Are you fostering a close relationship with God?  Are you growing in leadership skills?

So we move on to mothers – mothers are women, too!

You have educated yourself, grown in grace and knowledge of Jesus Christ and his righteousness and now have found a suitable mate and have had children.  All the attributes that you had as a single person should have carried over into your marriage.

You have the same relationship with God, you were created to subdue the earth just as men are to do – what has happened along the way that some women feel that they are in a mess?

Where do feelings of inadequacy and being overwhelmed by everything come from?  Why do some women feel like second class citizens and maybe even second class members of God’s family?

Let’s discuss some of the influences that could make this a reality in some of the mothers lives that are listening here today.

The wonderful world of marketing.

Read Perfect Madness, pages 12-14

Have we bought into the idea the activity is productivity and growth for our children?  Have we given our children mental participation badges for being in more activities than they need to be so that we can feel good about their social development?

Enola Aird, founder of the Mother Project states this:  Read page three of Boston Globe Article.

Why not shut off the television?  Why not stop comparing ourselves to others in this way?  What do we have to lose except the balance of our lives and the lives of our children?

Read The Three-Martini Playdate, pages 117-119

Don’t fall into the trap that tells us we have to do these things – don’t feel obligated to push your children into so many activities to match their friend activities or your expectations or the ones you have learned from marketing.

Read “Confessions of a Slacker Mom” pages 5-6, 10-11.

Have we allowed the culture of our time create a vision of what we think our families should be – especially our children?  Is it now putting weight in our minds because we haven’t fulfilled that perfect picture that we have allowed to be formed in our minds?  What do you think, ladies?

Keeping up with the Joneses

Read Perfect Madness pages 41-42

What’s important here?  Is it the child’s well-being or are we trying to put up the right image?  We need to ask the question once again, “what does this child need?”

2 Cor 10.12 –

Why do we want to do this?  Paul states that we don’t make good sense when we do!

We have many different income levels in this room.  Let’s stop comparing ourselves to each and work within the sphere that God has given us.  Have you compared yourself to God and Jesus Christ lately?

Read Paper #2, paragraph 2

Materialism has taken on a winner takes all mentality – the one with the most stuff animals wins the best mommy prize!

Confessions of a slacker mom, pages 19-20

It’s not the biggest pen, the most padded crib, the most colorful clothes or the most toys, it’s how you truly treat your children.  What does this child really need not what are the parents of the other child going to think if I don’t have certain items.  Moms are not thinking about their children now they are comparing themselves to other moms (and Dads, too!)

Don’t be a control freak.

Perfect Madness, pages 47-48

Are we tirelessly trying to control every moment of our child’s life?  The perfect school, the perfect relationships, the perfect sports and etc.  Do we give our child the chance to grow up somewhat on their own terms.  Do we allow their minds to develop?

Prov 22.6

Train up a child in the way he should go and even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Training up doesn’t mean suffocate them with you minute by minute ideas of how their life should be.  Training them here means to guide them.  In some cases it means to make the conditions right for growth to occur, like a seed.

The Message Bible put it this way:

Point your kids in the right direction—

when they’re old they won’t be lost.

Why am I addressing this to the mothers?  It falls on you as the homemaker to do this for the most part.  You are the ones that for the most part have this responsibility.  It’s a hard job and you need support but are you doing your best at asking the question, “what does this child need?” or are you falling into some of the traps mentioned above?

A.E. Davis states this:

Upon the mother devolves the duty of planting in the hearts of her children those seeds of love and virtue which shall develop useful and happy lives.  There are no words to express the relation of a mother to her children.

The mothers have such an impact on their children on a daily basis.  My kids told us that at first they liked mom the best.  After a few years they started to appreciate Dad a little more.  It’s a natural relationship – moms are with their children the most at first.  Mothers, that just the way it is and you have to shoulder that responsibility – I hope that you are courageously doing that.

This doesn’t mean that Dads don’t pitch in and help they absolutely need to and must but the nurturing aspect naturally goes to the women because of the familial make up.  Mothers are the nurturers.

Mother Charges Nothing


A mother found under her place one morning at breakfast a bill made out by her small son, Bradley, aged eight—Mother owes Bradley: for running errands, 25 cents; for being good, 10 cents; for taking music lessons, 15 cents; for extras, 5 cents. Total, 55 cents.

Mother smiled but made no comment. At lunch Bradley found the bill under his plate with 55 cents and another piece of paper neatly folded like the first. Opening it he read—Bradley owes Mother: for nursing him through scarlet fever, nothing; for being good to him, nothing; for clothes, shoes and playthings, nothing; for his playroom, nothing; for his meals, nothing. Total: nothing.

Encyclopedia of 7700 Illustrations

Education is the mental railway, beginning at birth, and running on to eternity.  No hand can lay it in the right direction but the hand of a mother.

H.O. Ward

Prov 6.20

The word “teaching” is better translated law – a pathway or a mental railway as H.O. Ward states it.  Both parents have a responsibility but it is the mother who in the beginning sets the stage.  Bring your children up in the disciple (a way of life) and admonition of God’s way of life – a path!

Three-Martini Playdate, pages 16-18

Mothers set the standard in the household – fathers as agreed upon with the mother help enforce those standards.  If the mother is letting the son run all over her it will be difficult for the child to see a clear pathway or mental railway.  The standard will always be moving!  Have you ever tried to hit a moving target – it’s tough!

Isa 66.13 –

The mother provides the comfort that eludes the Dad.  “Get up and act like a big kid can work” but to cradle and comfort the troubled child in whatever the situation sooths the psyche like rich salve – coating the problem with tender solutions that can only come from mom.  It’s the way God created us.

Would God make this comparison if it weren’t true?

Who is it that loves me and will love me forever with an affection which no chance, no misery, no crime of mine can do away?  It is you, my mother.

Thomas Carlyle in a letter to his mother –

Jesus’ mother followed him closely right up until his death.  She was there at the foot of the stake on which they hung him.  She obviously mourned for her son – she loved him and wanted to ease his pain.  Perhaps she talked to him as well – why does it have to be this way?  Isn’t there an easier way?

James and John’s mother wanted the best for her son – to be seated on the right and the left side of their master in the kingdom.  Perhaps it was arrogant but could it have been that she desperately wanted for her sons to succeed and have a place in the kingdom?  Where was the Father in this case?  It’s a mother’s nurturing attitude that brings them to do this type of action.

This is a strength that only you can give to the family – don’t let the messages that you hear cloud your vision of your importance to your children and to your husband.  Don’t let someone else build pictures in your mind about your role and your execution of that role.

Perfect madness, page 40

God tells us that we have enough trouble in each day to take care of – don’t go looking for more trouble by looking ahead!

Matt 6.31-34

This is where our center should be – both men and women.  Lay it upon God to direct your life in the way you should go.  Pray about the solutions that hold you down now – pray for your husband to understand the challenges of your day and husbands be responsive to the needs of your wife.  Once you have had children – you lose the right to be selfish.

Phil 6.6-7—

This is the starting point to greater satisfaction – God first and family second.  I’m talking about relationships here!

Perfect Madness, page 259-260

The fast track career and motherhood are incompatible – this is defined by someone who has tried by the world’s standards and is respected for her insight.

Don’t expect everything to be perfect – we live in an imperfect world!  If you want to work, then work.  But expect challenges that will come your way – don’t stress out over it, expect it and use it to the advantage of the family.  Ask God to guide you.

If you want to stay home, then stay home.  Expect that their will be challenges in that as well.  But don’t listen to the voices of society screaming that somehow you are not doing a noble thing.  You have chosen your path and cheerfully stick to it knowing in your heart that you have chosen what you think is the best for your family.

What is the best for this family should have already been discussed with your husband.

IV.               Conclusion

Nobody knows of the work it makes to keep the home together,  nobody knows of the steps it takes, nobody knows – but mother.

Anonymous –

God has shown us that we have inherited by our birth certain roles that fulfill so much in the lives of those we touch – those within the sphere of our influence.

Mothers play should an important role for both the children and the husband.  Don’t let anyone paint your picture for what you have in mind for your children and your family – don’t let anyone do that except for God.

Put God at the center of your universe and allow him to guide you in the trouble waters of the 21st century in regards to parenting and marriage.  He’s the one that created both sexes and can bring peace to the mess that you may find yourself in.

Phil 4.4-7-

Let’s remember where our center is and take the lead from him.  This way we can be assured that whatever we do if it is inspired by him will be the right path to go on.

Are mothers necessary?  Do we need air to breathe?  You are essential to the well being of your family.  Take care of yourself and remember that God has created you in his image to have dominion over the earth and subdue it.  Please take that Godly role seriously as we travel toward the Kingdom of God.

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