Sermon Tone Analysis

Introduction

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant

Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant

or rude.

It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth.

Introduction

We find ourselves in the midst of eight anti-characteristics of love.

Last week we were able to consider envy, pride, and rudeness.

Arrogance was that root issue that manifested itself in boasting, envy of others, and shameful behavior towards others.

There is no place for any of these characteristics in love.

We continue in and consider that love does not insist on its own way and is not irritable.

Let’ remember that the primary context of this love is to be displayed between brothers and sisters in Christ in a church setting.

It is this love that John Wesley calls us to when he wrote the following:

JOHN WESLEY.

Although a difference in opinions or modes of worship may prevent an entire external union; yet need it prevent our union in affection?

Though we cannot think alike, may we not love alike?

May we not be of one heart, though we are not of one opinion?[1]

Love does not insist on its own way.

Define “insist on its own way.”

To fully understand this concept, let’s take it in steps.

First, the word translated as insist is most often translated as seek.

There are in fact a number of versions that translate it this way.

“Seeketh not her own” (KJV), “It does not seek its own” (NAS), and “it is not self-seeking” (NIV).

While this is an accurate translation, there is a concept that may be lost if just the word seek is used.

Inherent in the Greek meaning is the idea of passion, striving, or pursuit.

This is why a couple other versions translate it as “it does not demand” (NLT) and “it does not insist” (ESV).

Searching for a key.

Consider an example.

You’re running just on time, if not a little late, and you’re running out the door to go to work or school.

As you look for your keys in the spot that they most typically reside, you find them gone.

How might you describe your “seeking” at that point?

You might use words such as frantic, rushed, or crazy.

You ignore the phone call that comes in while you’re seeking.

You leave the socks on floor instead of picking them up.

You ignore your child’s request to help them find their spinner that went missing the night before.

Simply put, you set everything else aside and have a singular focus on finding your keys.

All your energy is put toward that task and anything in the way is set, pushed, or even thrown aside.

Parents search for Jesus.

If the key analogy falls short for you, you may be able to connect to the frantic and fearful searching for Jesus by his parents.

You may recall when Jesus’ parents took him to Jerusalem for the Feast of Passover when he was twelve.

Afterwards the group that they had traveled with departed to go home and Jesus stayed behind in Jerusalem.

His parents did not know it, but supposing him to be in the group they went a day’s journey, but then they began to search for him among their relatives and acquaintances, 45 and when they did not find him, they returned to Jerusalem, searching for him.

46 After three days they found him in the temple, sitting among the teachers . . .

( ESV).

Its own way.

Let’s add another dimension to this insistence or demanding.

Your insistence is “on its own way.”

And it is here that the concept veers off from being potentially acceptable to being outright self-centered and the antithesis of love.

For certainly we can be focused in seeking after good things, but when our singular focus is “on our own way,” we are not loving.

A scenic route.

Let’s take a moment to veer off the main path and dig a bit deeper into this concept of insistent and demanding self-centeredness.

What might this be called?

It is here that we find one of the four Greek expressions of love – that being eros.

There are four Greek words that can be translated love: (1) eros, which is erotic love and is not used in the New Testament at all, (2) storge, which refers to familial love and is only used in the negative form twice in the New Testament, (3) phileo, which is friend love and is used often throughout the NT, and finally (4) agape, which is the sacrificial love of which we’ve been speaking for the last few weeks, and is again found throughout the NT.

Eros finds its Italian equivalent in amore and it’s Latin equivalent in cupid.

As I mention Cupid, probably some weird image of a young, chunky, and winged boy comes to your mind.

He holds a bow and arrow in his hands, and in shooting those arrows he stirs within an individual a love that cannot be quenched or controlled.

Some refer to this uncontrolled passion as the libido.

This driving force is usually equated to sexual energy, but goes well beyond that scope and really includes all of the natural driving forces that motivate our behavior.

Freud referred to this as the id and claimed that the id seeks pleasure and demands the immediate satisfaction of its desires.

It demands immediate gratification and if it has its way, will direct you to take what you want, when you want, no matter the situation or consequences.

This concept is the essence of Aleister Crowley’s teachings in his satanic book titled, “The Book of the Law.”

In it he writes, “Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the Law. . . .

take your will and fill of love as ye will, when, where, and with whom ye will!”[2]

Eros is a love that primarily demands its own way, and it is opposite of the sacrificial love we are called to manifest as Christians.

Thiselton writes, “love as Eros does indeed seek its own satisfaction: Eros seeks to “possess” the object of love . . .

By contrast . . .

Agape in Paul stands in “opposition to all that be called ‘self-love’”[3]

[Refer to love diagram.]

Biblical Example.

We don’t have to think long and hard to think of biblical examples.

(1) Our minds may quickly pull up David and his passion for Bathsheba that cared little for Bathsheba and clearly didn’t care for her husband.

He insisted on his own way and destroyed his family and murdered Uriah.

(2) Israel is regularly led astray by their passion to be like the other nations around them – likely because the other nations around them were able to give into their passions.

They insisted on their own way, God gave them what they wanted, and it led to their destruction.

(3) Judas was clearly motivated by has passionate greed, and he demanded his own way at the sacrifice of his master and his own life.

We as well don’t have to think too long and hard about where this passion and “insisting on our own way” finds its presence in our lives.

Of course there are really obvious examples such as addictions: drugs, alcohol, pornography, excessive food, gambling.

Those probably touch some of our lives, but maybe less obvious passions are rooted in our lives.

When is the last time you binge watched the entirety of some TV season?

When was the last time you sacrificed your sleep and probably a pleasant attitude the next day so that you could stay up and play games, or surf social media?

Before you sit there and think that none of this hits home with you, consider how our own comfort, ease, solitude, and retirement can become that which we demand.

We can be frantic about just getting home so that we can relax.

Consider once again the example of the lost keys.

What are the lost keys symbolic of in your life?

For sake of example let’s say your lost keys are “entertainment.”

You insist upon or demand to have certain forms of entertainment.

Time with family is sacrificed.

Time in devotion, prayer, and service are sacrificed.

Time with your kids is pushed to another day.

Your willing to sacrifice being alert at work.

Love is the solution to demanding self-centeredness.

Let’s remember our definition for love.

Love is a decision to sacrifice ourselves, not motivated by our emotions, our circumstances, or the treatment of others.

It is a decision to sacrifice ourselves for the betterment or well-being of another.

This love is the very opposite of insisting on our own way.

But also remember, this love is only produced in us or possible for us when we are clinging to Christ and walking in the Spirit.

With that said, once our love for others begins with a pure and sacrificial love, the other forms of love become more appropriate and beautiful.

Eros can be beautiful when it is the product of a married couple that are characterized by sacrificial love.