Sermon Tone Analysis
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Our Crew
BOTTOM LINE:
Your friends can make you or break you.
GOAL OF SMALL GROUP:
To encourage students to use wisdom when it comes to choosing their closest friends.
when it comes to choosing their closest friends.
INTRODUCTION
Who are your people?
Who is your CREW?
You know, the people you hang around the most?
The friends you call when you score concert tickets?
The people you text when you have a fight with your step-dad?
The people you can count on to laugh at your jokes, like your photos on Instagram, and never leave you alone at the lunch table?
Whether you call them your squad, your crew, or just your friends, those people are some of the most important in your life.
In fact, even though we all go through times when we don’t feel like we have a great crew, there’s still something in all of us that wants one.
There’s something built into each of us that knows we’re supposed to be connected to other people.
And, according to research, that desire is a really good thing.
Studies show that the benefit of having great friends goes beyond having someone to sit with at lunch or hang out with on a Friday night.
They show that having great friends is as essential to your health as getting enough sleep, eating well, and not smoking.[1]
Friends don’t just make our lives better; they can make our lives longer.
TENSION
So we all agree, having good friends is awesome.
But here’s a question you’ve probably never thought about:
How exactly did you get these friends?
How did your crew become your crew?
· Maybe their family just happened to move into the house down the street.
· Maybe you all played the same sport as kids.
· Maybe you randomly sat next to each other in Chemistry Class.
· Maybe you both got dumped by the same person.
Most of us, if asked how our friends became our friends, would probably say,
“I have no clue.
It just kind of happened.”
And that’s not bad.
There’s nothing wrong with meeting a new friend in the marching band or on the basketball court.
It totally makes sense to hang out with people who like the same things you do.
Unless you are doing something wrong, together.
I had both…
· Group 1: ones that influenced me to jail
o Wasn’t always bad
o But became worse and worse
§ Borrowing my parent’s car… stealing for a night.
§ Using a bb gun to get us arrested
§ But I had to split away to find solace
§ They all went worse… jail, prison.
· This could have been the influence of my life.
· Group 2: we did some stupid stuff.
But I still consider them brothers.
o Joematt projects…
o A lot of basketball…
o We did Martial Arts together… OTAR
o Their brotherhood got me through High School and first two years of college.
o Since then… one is gone.
Another is lost in their own world.
One, Matt, keeps up with me.
You Should know:
Our friends have a huge influence on us.
Not only does having friends influence our health and well-being, but the kind of friends we have can guide our decisions—right now and long term.
But for most of us, our friends just kind of “happened.”
And even though we may not like to admit it, most of us are just happy to have any friends at all! We’ll take what we can get.
So add a fear of not having friends to a fear of missing out (FOMO), and that creates an interesting combination:
Friends that influence us + Fear of missing out =
Decisions we wouldn’t normally make
Now, before you think I’m lecturing you, let me be clear: Sometimes this combination is a good thing.
Some of you have become better students, better athletes, and better people because of your friends.
They’ve encouraged you to try things you wouldn’t normally do, and those things have helped you improve as a person.
Or, you had a fear of missing out—and it just so happened to be a really good thing that you didn’t want to miss—and so you jumped in and became a better person in the process.
But we all know the opposite is true, too.
Some of us have done some really dumb things because of our friends.
We’ve ended up in bad situations and made stupid choices that we could’ve avoided if only we had been wise when it came to choosing the people who influence us most.
So part of my goal today is to encourage you to reconsider how you choose your friends.
Because ultimately your friends will have a big influence on how good your life is now, and where it ends up later.
But before we begin, I want to be super-clear.
This is not a message about dumping all your friends and starting over.
It’s not a message about how you should only hang out with Christians, church-goers, or people who listen to worship music.
It’s simply an invitation to think differently about how you choose who is in your crew.
It’s about allowing the right kind of people to influence what you do and who you become.
TRUTH
Now, the Bible has great advice about a lot of areas of life.
In fact, even if you don’t believe in God or the Bible, some of the advice and wisdom found there can still be really helpful to you.
One of the books where we see a lot of that wisdom is called Proverbs.
It’s full of these amazing bite-sized pieces of truth and insights that can make all of us better at life.
It was written by a King named Solomon, most likely as a book of advice not only for his people, but also for his
own sons.
Maybe that’s why Solomon had some good stuff to say about friendship.
He knew that who his people, and especially his sons, chose to hang out with would eventually influence the direction of his whole country.
There was a lot on the line here.
So you have to imagine this is a big deal to Solomon as he says this:
The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray ( NIV).
At first this concept seems so simple.
The people who are going to make right decisions in their life do so because they have the right kind of people around them.
And the people who make wrong decisions do so because they are influenced by the wrong kind of people.
But the main idea is this: Your friends have influence on your life.
I don’t think any of us would disagree with that.
But we may not realize just how true it is.
Think about it.
Your friends have a lot to do with the quality of your life—good or bad.
For example, think for a second about your biggest regret in life.
It probably didn’t take you too long to think of it.
My guess is whatever that regret is, you didn’t get into the situation alone.
Chances are, there was a friend right there alongside of you.
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