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Our kids

Part 4

The Parent they Need.


 1 Kings 1:5 Now bAdonijah the son of Haggith exalted himself, saying, “I will be king.” cAnd he prepared for himself chariots and horsemen, and fifty men to run before him. 6 His father had never at any time displeased him by asking, “Why have you done thus and so?” He was also a very handsome man, dand he was born next after Absalom.[1]

Displeased- rebuked, reprimanded, corrected, disciplined,  pained, crossed, interfered, repressed, restrained, or checked.”

The root word- formed, shaped, or craved as in sculpting something from stone or wood.

6 sChildren, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 t “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, ubut bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. [2]

Col. 21 Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.[3]

21 Fathers, do not vex your children, to the end that they be not disheartened.

(ii) There was the custom of child exposure. When a child was born, it was placed before its father’s feet, and, if the father stooped and lifted the child, that meant that he acknowledged it and wished it to be kept. If he turned and walked away, it meant that he refused to acknowledge it and the child could quite literally be thrown out.

There is a letter whose date is 1 B. C. from a man called Hilarion to his wife Alis. He has gone to Alexandria and he writes home on domestic affairs:

“Hilarion to Alis his wife heartiest greetings, and to my dear Berous and Apollonarion. Know that we are still even now in Alexandria. Do not worry if when all others return I remain in Alexandria. I beg and beseech of you to take care of the little child, and, as soon as we receive wages, I will send them to you. If—good luck to you!—you have a child, if it is a boy, let it live; if it is a girl, throw it out. You told Aphrodisias to tell me: ‘Do not forget me.’ How can I forget you? I beg you therefore not to worry.”

It is a strange letter, so full of affection and yet so callous towards the child who may be born.

A Roman baby always ran the risk of being repudiated and exposed. In the time of Paul that risk was even greater. We have seen how the marriage bond had collapsed and how men and women changed their partners with bewildering rapidity. Under such circumstances a child was a misfortune. So few children were born that the Roman government actually passed legislation that the amount of any legacy that a childless couple could receive was limited. Unwanted children were commonly left in the Roman forum. There they became the property of anyone who cared to pick them up. They were collected at nights by people who nourished them in order to sell them as slaves or to stock the brothels of Rome.

(iii) Ancient civilization was merciless to the sickly or deformed child. Seneca writes, “We slaughter a fierce ox; we strangle a mad dog; we plunge the knife into sickly cattle lest they taint the herd; children who are born weakly and deformed we drown.” The child who was a weakling or imperfectly formed had little hope of survival.

It was against this situation that Paul wrote his advice to children and parents. If ever we are asked what good Christianity has done to the world, we need but point to the change effected in the status of women and of children.


addressed to fathers, says that mothers have a kind of divine patience but “fathers are more liable to be carried away by wrath.”

It is a strange thing that Paul repeats this injunction even more fully in Colossians 3:21. “Fathers,” he says, “do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged.” Bengel says that the plaque of youth is a “broken spirit,” discouraged by continuous criticism and rebuke and too strict discipline. David Smith thinks that Paul wrote out of bitter personal experience. He writes: “There is here a quivering note of personal emotion, and it seems as though the heart of the aged captive had been reverting to the past and recalling the loveless years of his own childhood. Nurtured in the austere atmosphere of traditional orthodoxy, he had experienced scant tenderness and much severity, and had known that ‘plaque of youth, a broken spirit.’”

There are three ways in which we can do injustice to our children.

(i) We can forget that things do change and that the customs of one generation are not the customs of another. Elinor Mordaunt tells how once she stopped her little daughter from doing something by saying, “I was never allowed to do that when I was your age.” And the child answered, “But you must remember, mother, that you were then, and I’m now.”

(ii) We can exercise such a control that it is an insult to our upbringing of our children. To keep a child too long in leading-strings is simply to say that we do not trust him which is simply to say that we have no confidence in the way in which we have trained him. It is better to make the mistake of too much trust than of too much control.

(iii) We can forget the duty of encouragement. Luther’s father was very strict, strict to the point of cruelty. Luther used to say: “Spare the rod and spoil the child—that is true; but beside the rod keep and apple to give him when he has done well.” Benjamin West tells how he became a painter. One day his mother went out leaving him in charge of his little sister Sally. In his mother’s absence he discovered some bottles of coloured ink and began to paint Sally’s portrait. In doing so he made a considerable mess of things with ink blots all over. His mother came back. She saw the mess but said nothing. She picked up the piece of paper and saw the drawing. “Why,” she said, “it’s Sally!” and she stooped and kissed him. Ever after Benjamin West used to say: “My mother’s kiss made me a painter.” Encouragement did more than rebuke could ever do. Anna Buchan tells how her grandmother had a favourite phrase even when she was very old: “Never daunton youth.”

As Paul sees it, children must honour their parents and parents must never discourage their children.



Note these muilti-generational verses that as Parents , grand parents …step partents Uncles and aunts.. influnceers over litter people we must release on the children we love.

Ps. 145:4

Prov. 13:22

Prov. 4:3-4

Stewardship of Potential—The Possiblity of providing good, positive, spiritual, healthy and worthy blessing to our children.

Ex. 20:5-6

The role of angels.
Ps. 91:11

Heb. 1:14

Matt. 2:13

Acts 12:7

Acts 27:23

Giving your children- a Long and fruitful life.
Ex. 20:12

Eph. 6:1-3

Jer. 29:11

Blessing though  insstruction and correction.

“It is one thing to open the good times by taking them fishing, but only a fool will leave them in the boat by themselves.”

Children obey  (parents)
To hearken at the door,”

to listen, to harken. 1a of one who on the knock at the door comes to listen who it is, (the duty of a porter). 2 to harken to a command. 2a to obey, be obedient to, submit to.


WE have to get them to open the door to us.. is not a given.

Come make your self welcome.


Cultivating Honor

Worth-honor is the knowedge of the weightness of the position.

091 τιμάω [timao /tim·ah·o/] v. From 5093; TDNT 8:169; TDNTA 1181; GK 5506; 21 occurrences; AV translates as “honour” 19 times, and “value” twice. 1 to estimate, fix the value. 1a for the value of something belonging to one’s self. 2 to honour, to have in honour, to revere, venerate.

Gen. τιμή1 means 1. the “worth” one ascribes to a person, i.e., “satisfaction,” “compensation,” “evaluation,” “honour”; 2. (only after Hom.) the value of a thing, “price,” “purchase price.”

In detail2 τιμή denotes 1. legal “appraisal,” “compensation,” “penalty,” “satisfaction,”


Jesus said, a prohoet is not without honor except in his own country.


The Lord is worthy…
honoring others is key to personal Idenity.

A balanced mix of love and authority

Enbeded chain in a pecan tree. It is there and it’s not coming out.

Overlooking passivity- we do not notice the children.. (they will get noticed) do it on your terms not theirs…

Go well

οιμος, ἑτοιμάζω, ἑτοιμασία, προετοιμάζω

The clear meaning of this word group is preparation both in the active sense of “making ready” and in the passive of “readiness,” “ability” or “resolution.”


 Long time… Marked chrones… you tommorws will be marked by greating things.

Eph. 6:4

Parents cannot not destoy the role of authority on their watch..

We are to lead in a way that engenders  or gives birth to  honor.

(how do we do that)

Do not provoke
vex. Or

and thus means the “lavish swelling of sap and vigour,” “thrusting and upsurging” in nature, originally gener. a. the “impulsive nature” of man or beast, esp. the impulsive state of the human disposition, which in contrast to more inward and quiet ἦθος[9]

Understand the “Why” behing the rules..

We lost a generation of youth in the sixtes because we refused to answer the Hard questions…

Admonition- word study.. means mind… or the reason behind something.

What are the issues behind what we say…

Do not just say.. “Our church does not do that” or I say so that’s good enougth.

Base you what you say on your convictions about the Word of God gives a clear sence of uncertainly about what you are saying. “If cheap reasons are given, however how high sounding they may be don’t be surpiresed if your kids rebel or end up away from God.
Jack hayford in blessing your children..

Two factors for reasons:

  1. Long range quality of life and best intrest.
  2. In light of the word of God.. that your commited to.

Train a child.

Show them  how to confess sin.


Block time for bible inspiration..

How to forgive..(signs of real forgiveness)

Prov. 22:6 train up a child.

 This is not the function of a religious robot.

Robot.. cold stiff predicted movments..

You train has to be warm and flexable.

Cho Seung-Hui mailed NBC News a large package including photographs and videos, boasting, “When the time came, I did it. I had to.”

Cho, 23, a senior English major at Virginia Polytechnic Institute and State University in Blacksburg, killed 32 people in the two attacks Monday morning before taking his own life

U.S. Postal Service stamp recording that it had been received at a Virginia post office at 9:01 a.m. ET Monday, about an hour and 45 minutes after Cho shot two people in the West Ambler Johnston residence hall on the Virginia Tech campus and shortly before he entered Norris Hall, where he killed 30 more people.

showing Cho talking directly to the camera. He does not name anyone specifically, but he mentions “hedonism” and Christianity, and he talks at length about his hatred of the wealthy.

“You had a hundred billion chances and ways to have avoided today,” Cho says. “But you decided to spill my blood. You forced me into a

On the recording, Baldwin can be heard admonishing his 11-year-old, Ireland: “You are a rude, thoughtless little pig.”

“You don’t have the brains or the decency as a human being,” he says, apparently upset that she did not answer her phone for a planned call.

“I don’t give a damn that you’re 12 years old, or 11 years old, or that you’re a child, or that your mother is a thoughtless pain in the ass who doesn’t care about what you do as far as I’m concerned. You have humiliated me for the last time with this phone.”


b 2 Sam. 3:4

c 2 Sam. 15:1

d 2 Sam. 3:3, 4; 1 Chr. 3:2

[1]The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (1 Ki 1:5-6). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

s Prov. 1:8; 6:20; 23:22

t Cited from Ex. 20:12

u Gen. 18:19; Deut. 4:9; 6:7; 11:19; Ps. 78:4; Prov. 19:18; 22:6; 29:17; [2 Tim. 3:15]

[2]The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Eph 6:1-4). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

[3]The Holy Bible : English standard version. 2001 (Col 3:21). Wheaton: Standard Bible Society.

[4]The letters to the Galatians and Ephesians. 2000, c1976 (W. Barclay, lecturer in the University of Glasgow, Ed.). The Daily study Bible series, Rev. ed. (176). Philadelphia: The Westminster Press.

[5]The letters to the Galatians and Ephesians. 2000, c1976 (W. Barclay, lecturer in the University of Glasgow, Ed.). The Daily study Bible series, Rev. ed. (177). Philadelphia: The Westminster Press.

v v: verb

TDNT Theological Dictionary of the New Testament

TDNTA Theological Dictionary of the New Testament, Abridged in One Volume

GK Goodrick-Kohlenberger

AV Authorized Version

1 Behind the noun τιμή is τίω “to value,” “to esteem highly,” “to honour,” which was known to Hom. (in prose replaced by τιμάω) and is usually combined with τίνω, “to make amends for” etc. (root qu̯ei and qu̯i), cf. Boisacq, Hofmann, s.v. [Risch]. Cf. also M. Greindl, Κλεος, κυδος, ευχος, τιμη, φατις, δοξα, Diss. Munich (1938), 59, who thinks the original sense of τιμή is “compensation,” also E. Pfister, “Die Hekata-Episode in Hesiods Theogonie,” Philol., 84 (1929), 5.

Hom. Homer, of Chios (?), the classical Greek epic poet, around whose name were grouped the older epics of the Ionians in the 9th and 8th centuries b.c., ed. G. Monro and T. W. Allen, 1908 ff.

2 On the rich and many-faceted meaning of the word group cf. Liddell-Scott, Pape, s.v., For Hom. cf. H. Ebeling, Lex. Homericum, II (1963), s.v.

[6]Theological dictionary of the New Testament. 1964-c1976. Vols. 5-9 edited by Gerhard Friedrich. Vol. 10 compiled by Ronald Pitkin. (G. Kittel, G. W. Bromiley & G. Friedrich, Ed.) (electronic ed.) (8:169). Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans.

[7]Strong, J. (1996). The exhaustive concordance of the Bible : Showing every word of the test of the common English version of the canonical books, and every occurence of each word in regular order. (electronic ed.) (G5091). Ontario: Woodside Bible Fellowship.

[8]Theological dictionary of the New Testament. 1964-c1976. Vols. 5-9 edited by Gerhard Friedrich. Vol. 10 compiled by Ronald Pitkin. (G. Kittel, G. W. Bromiley & G. Friedrich, Ed.) (electronic ed.) (2:704). Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans.

esp. especially.

[9]Theological dictionary of the New Testament. 1964-c1976. Vols. 5-9 edited by Gerhard Friedrich. Vol. 10 compiled by Ronald Pitkin. (G. Kittel, G. W. Bromiley & G. Friedrich, Ed.) (electronic ed.) (5:383). Grand Rapids, MI: Eerdmans.

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