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Surrogate Mothering

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Surrogate Mothering

This Sunday is Mother's Day.  Michael Duduit offers a list of things our mothers taught us:

  • My Mother taught me LOGIC: "If you fall off that swing and break your neck, you can't go to the store with me," as well as, "If everyone else jumped off a cliff would you do it too?"
  • My Mother taught me MEDICINE: "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they're going to freeze that way."
  • My Mother taught me TO THINK AHEAD: "If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job!"
  • My Mother taught me TO MEET A CHALLENGE: "What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you... Don't talk back to me!"
  • My Mother taught me HUMOR: "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
  • My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT: "If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up.
  • My mother taught me about GENETICS: "You are just like your father!"
  • My mother taught me about my ROOTS: "Do you think you were born in a barn?"
  • My mother taught me about the WISDOM of AGE: "When you get to be my age, you will understand," or, "I will explain it all when you get older."
  • My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION: "Just wait until your father gets home."
  • My mother taught me about RECEIVING: "You are going to get it when I get you home."
  • My mother taught me RELIGION: "You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
  • My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL: "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
  • My mother taught me FORESIGHT: "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
  • My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS: "Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"
  • My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM: "Will you *look* at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
  • My mother taught me about STAMINA: "You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."
  • My mother taught me about WEATHER: "It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
  • My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY: "If I've told you once, I've told you a million times: Don't Exaggerate!"
  • My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE: "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
  • My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION: "Stop acting like your father!"
  • My mother taught me about ENVY: "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"
  • And the all time favorite thing my mother taught me, JUSTICE: "One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you. Then you'll see what it's like! I can't wait!"


No one deserves a special day all to herself more than today's Mom. A cartoon showed a psychologist talking to his patient: "Let's see," he said, "You spend 50 percent of your energy on your job, 50 percent on your husband and 50 percent on your children. I think I see your problem."

Someone has said, “If progressive evolution is accurate, then why do mothers still have only two hands?

Mothers should really be shown our respect every day but today we want to take time to express our heartfelt gratitude to the Moms of this world.

The fact is that being a mom is not an easy task.

Susan A. Yates, wrote a book entitled, And Then I Had Children.

In that book she says there are eight common challenges faced by mothers of young children:

1) Low self-esteem,

2) Monotony and loneliness,

3) Stress from too many demands,

4) Lack of time with husband,

5) Confusion about discipline,

6) Home atmosphere,

7) Need for outside role models, &

8) Training of children.

If anybody could identify with these 8 challenges it would be Hagar! 

  • Hagar was a servant girl in the household of Sarah & Abraham.  She was a nobody.  If anybody suffered from low self-esteem it was Hagar. 
  • She was an Egyptian maid-servant.  Read Galatians 4 and you’ll see that she was a slave.  Surely she suffered from loneliness and the day to day routine was probably boring.
  • Can you imagine how many demands there were on her life?  Abraham & Sara were old people.  They had no kids of their own but Abe was sure God had told him that he would be a father … in fact a father of many nations.  Sara told Abe to go have sex w/ Hagar so his vision could come true.  Once her baby was born, this poor maid had all of the duties she had before plus a little baby!
  • I also doubt that Hagar got much quality time w/ Abraham since Sara was just around the corner.
  • Who was the authoritative voice that spoke into Ishmael’s life when he was a small child?  You can be sure that there was a great deal of confusion about the issue of discipline.
  • Not a lot of warm fuzzies in that household.
  • Who would be an outside role model for Ishmael to look up to.
  • Imagine the confusion that Hagar had when it came to raising her son.  Her heritage was Egyptian but she was living in the home of a family w/ an entirely different cultural understanding.  Training Ishmael could not have been very easy.

When we pick up the story, the angel of the Lord has found Hagar and asks a very important question: “Where have you come from, and where are you going?”

Hagar’s response, given her circumstances, makes perfect sense: “I’m running away …” She’s a pregnant slave whose mistress despises her, whose husband will never be a loving husband or even much of a loving father to her baby.  She’s a surrogate mother.  She has no future and her baby will only be 2nd rate.  I’d want to run away too!  Wouldn’t you?

Wherever you are in your own life: if you’ve ever felt like running away, if where you are from is not all that great, if where you are seems bleak at the moment, and if the future that you see for yourself seems depressing, whether you’re a mom or not … I have good news: There is hope!  You have a bright future w/ God.

Hagar’s Discoveries:

  1. Hagar discovered a great truth: You matter to God!  You are somebody! 
    • Romans 8:17a

“Now if we are children, then we are heirs---heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ...”

·         Hebrews 1:14

“Are not all angels ministering spirits sent to serve those who will inherit salvation?”

·         Not only are you royalty, but God believes in you enough that he provides angels to serve you in spiritual matters.

Ø     Kids off to school

Ø     When you travel or when a loved one travels

Ø     Any place that danger lurks … we have spiritual help BECAUSE WE ARE CHILDREN OF THE GUY IN CHARGE OF THE WHOLE UNIVERSE!

·         You’ve got holy help!

·         We’ve got to stop thinking less of ourselves than our creator does!

·         God wants to take you to higher ground!

  1. Hagar discovered a tough truth: To get from where you are to the place God wants to take you … you have to work to get there!  You have to work to reach your dream.

·         Look at vs. 9: “Go back … submit …”

·         I know.  Enduring hardship & things that are unpleasant is not done easily … but in order to get to the mountain top … you have to do some climbing!

·         Vince Abner

“Vision isn’t enough---it must be combined with venture.  It is not enough to stare up the steps, we must step up the stairs.”

·         Too often the cost of getting from here to there seems too expensive

·         Dwight D. Eisenhower: “There are no victories at bargain prices.”

·         Run-Away-Bride (uncertainties --- expectations of others --- commitment)

Ø     Her future is going to be far worse now

Ø     Running away solved nothing

·         You can just about be guaranteed that life will be tough

Ø     but through it all God will be there!

Ø     If you pursue God … He will get you through

Ø     REMEMBER: You Matter to God

Ø     Don’t Give Up On a Holy Future!

Ø     Don’t Give Up On God!

  1. In time Hagar discovered God’s promise:

Determination + Faithful Obedience = Blessings

·         We can have a powerful partnership with God

·         Hagar would raise a son who would have a great lineage

Ø     Yes, he would be a wild man, a fighter, & everybody’s enemy!

Ø     But he would be the father of many nations!

What is your heart’s desire?  To See your kids or your grandkids turn out great? 

·         Don’t do what Sara did!

·         Don’t give up on your dream!

·         Don’t settle for less than the best!

·         Don’t settle for a surrogate parent

Ø     Television

Ø     Nintendo

Ø     The schools

Ø     Not even the church

What will you do this week to reach God’s best for you and those around you?

·         Understand that it might be boring!

·         Accept the fact that it could be hard work

·         Realize that it’s possible that doing what’s right could cause tension!

Who will you ask for help to make sure you succeed?

·         Sun. school teacher

·         Friend

·         Me

·         Your Angels

·         TEAMWORK makes the DREAM WORK!

·         Don’t leave God out of the formula

Write down, “This week I will…”

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