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ROLES AND RESPONSBILITIES OF HUS-WIFE EPH 5:21-33
INTRODUCTION
1.
This passage is met with mixed emotion.
ON the one hand some brand the apostle Paul as a male chauvnist pig who reduces marriage to a master-slave relationship.
They have charged that Xianity has set back women intheir quest for equality and consider the roles established in this passage as blamphemous and degrading.
2. On the other hand this passage is applauded because it unvails God's design for a marriage relationship.
It sets forth the roles and responsibilites according to God's plan.
This passages how how hus and wife are to relate to each other so they may experienc the maxium fulfillment and satisfication.
It shows how the blending of 2 lives together can reach their highest potential as human beings and as Xians.
3. Let's discover from this passage God's blueprint for the home.
I believe this passage is the solution to many marriage problems.
Because many huas-wives are not willing to submit to this design they are not experiencing marriage as it was desgined to be.
4. Let's make sure we understand this is not an experimental passage.
Paul doesn't say let's experiment with how hus-wives relates and see how it works.
This is not exp erimental but it is to be experiential.
We are to experience the role and resp outlined here so we might lives together as hus-wives in order to reap fulfillment.
5. Of course we have a choice.
We can reject this design or submit to it.
May each hus and wife cooperate with the HS and be filled by Him so you can construct your lives together according to God's blueprint.
I. SUBMIT TO EACH OTHER (V21)
1.
To properly understand the role and responsibilites of hus-wives we must begin with v 21--submit yourselves to one another outof reverence for X.
This verse calls for mutual submission of hus-wife.
We are to fit in with, adapt ourselves to one another.
2. This is done to honor X.
As X, hus-wives we ought to have placed ourselves under the authority of X so we can honor him.
We agree to allow X to devleop out of us the new creation, one that is characterized by love, joy, peace, patience, longsuffering, gentleness, faithfulness.
Then in the marriage relationship each spouse cares as much for the needs of the other as their own.
Each has pushed aside self interest for God interest.
As this happens then the one flesh concept Pual speaks of in v 31 begins to become a reality.
3. Evidence of mutual submission is seen as each helps the other become all they can be in God.
Each is sensitive to the others need; each listens to and values the other's opinion.
Each then are equal card caring partners.
Neither are dependents but both are associates.
4. The reason and motivation for mutual submission is the relationship w~/Christ.
If we have a problem respecting each other as equals in the marriage=-we have a spiritual problme.
If your realtionship w~/God is out of focus so will your relationship with your spouse.
Unless we are willing to place oursleves under the leadership of X we can never accpet God's design and submit ourselves to each other.
When we reject God's design for mutual submission we can be sure difficutlites will creep in and undermine satisficaiton.
II.
ROLE OF HUSBANDS
A. LEADER
1. Let's turn our attention to the husband's roles and resp under God's desing.
He has two roles--a leader and lover.
His position in the marriage is leader, to be head of his wife as X is head of the church.
His passion is to love his wife as X loved the chruch.
These two roles are to be balanced.
One w~/o the other produces distortion.
Leadership w~/o love produces dictatorship.
Love w~/o leadership is irresponsible sentimentality.
So hus we are to provide a leadership of love.
lWhat does that mean?
One way to discover what it means to be a leader is to disocver what is is not.
2. Being a leader of the wife doesn't mean dictatro.
It doesn't mean to boss or dominate.
God is not calling husband to be T.I. barking orders and handing out deatils.
He is not to demand the family line up in formation each morning and issueorder of the day and then declare he will return at 1700 for inspection.
Notice Pual uses the analogy of X and the church as the pattern for hus-wife relationship.
Is X a dictator?
Does he carm things down our thorats?
He is soveriegn but he doesn't coercise us into obedience and serice.
He draws us by his love so we willingly offer him our lives.
3. The headship of the hus doens't mean the wife is inferior.
As persons we are equal in God's sight.
Paul tells the Gal (3:28) in X there is no male, female, bond, free but we are all one in X.
As partners we are functionally different.
We have different functions in the relationship.
lGod desinged man to be the head.
He established the line of authority or chain of command in I Cor 11:3.
If we say a women is inferiro to man because she submits to him is to say X is inferior to because he willlingly submits to God the father.
That is heresy.
4. God place man at the head of the family to prevent a 2 headed monsteer.
Unless there is a clear defined leadership there would be choaos.
Consider what would happen if we had 2 wing Com Could you imagine what te dialy operations of the wing would be like.
God wants to aovid that in marriage so he placed the hus as the functional leader.
5. Well if he's the leader then the hus makes all the decisions while the wife keeps her mouth shut.
She is seen and not heard and becomes a wall flower and her mind and abilites become dormant.
No at all.
That's the furtherest from what being a leader means.
Leadership doesn't mean he makes all the decsions w~/o delegation or discussion.
How ridiculous to think men have the corner on good judgment, competence, insight and ideas.
LGod has gifted our wives w~/ a variety of gifts and how foolish not to use them.
6. lThere are many areas the hus should delegate the decsions making to the wife because she's more competent.
The wife for example may be a better money manager and checkbook balancer than the hus.
I bounce many ideas off my wife because I trust her insights and judgment.
Often her suggestions were better than mine.
7. Well twhat happens when they disagree.
As the leader, the hus ought to discuss the issue with his wife; Each views are set forth but if an agreemnt can't be reached then the hus should make the decisions.
It may not be the best decision but man is respon according to God's design.
God ask the wife to submit to that decsion and to support it and then when it's worng God want you wives to say I told you so.
No. but to pray for wisdon and direction ands supports the husband no matter.
8. A fourth thing leadership is not is the hus is always right.
He is not always right but he is always resp He is the steward of the decision making process and will be accoutnible to God for such.
this of course doesn't mean as we have said he makes all the decision.
Just like any Commander doesn't make the decsions within sq, wing or bases but he~/she is resp for the outcome.
9. The hus is the head of the wife according to God's design.
lt does not mean he is dictator.
It doesn't mean wives are inferior but in God's sight are equal.
It doesn';t mean hus makes all the decison but he must delegate.
He is not always right but always resp.
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