Sermon Tone Analysis

The Practice of Forgiveness

Matthew 18:21-35 (Cont.)

January 27, 2002

 

Call To Worship

Announcements

Worship in Song

Prayer

 

Review and Introduction

Richard Stephens Award

My February plans – Bill preaching

Discovery this afternoon at 5:00 PM (childcare provided)

 

Last week: The Forgiveness Principle (Matthew 18:21-35)

-         One of many scriptural /mandates/ to forgive:

o       Matthew 6:12

o       Matthew 6:14

-         Why We Must Forgive (Slide)

o       Because God has forgiven Us

o       Because we suffer when we refuse to forgive

-         Thus, forgiveness is both:

o       An obligation

o       A gift

-         But to say we must forgive is not to say forgiveness is easy.

The truth is that forgiveness is very difficult.

It is costly.

It is painful.

It cost God His only Son.

It cost Jesus his life.

It will cost us as well.

-         But for many forgiveness seems impossible.

This is not true, but it requires a proper understanding of forgiveness.

What Forgiveness is Not (Slide)

·        Forgetting

o       We are told that God forgets, but even that is open to debate

§         I will remember your sins against you no more

§         Apparently God will remember our deeds, good and bad, in judgment

·        Overlooking or Excusing the wrong that’s been done (denial, not forgiveness)

·        Explaining 

o       Not psychoanalyzing until we figure out “why”

o       If we wait until we figure it all out, we may never forgive.

o       Why does a parent abuse a child?

o       Why does a father or mother drown themselves in alcohol?

o       Why do those who are supposed to love us hurt us the most?

o       Not to say that we shouldn’t try to understand, but there are some things that we will never understand.

Certainly understanding can be helpful to the healing process when understanding is possible.

o       But again, lee me say it simply: Sin doesn’t make sense.

o       And even if we do understand, it still won’t erase the pain.

o       So, don’t confuse understanding with forgiveness.

They’re two different things.

·        Blaming Yourself

o       Some people actually think that “the Christian thing to do” is to just let ‘em off the hook by taking the blame yourself.

o       Again, that’s just another form of denial.

o       And forgiveness is rooted in honesty, not denial.

o       That’s not to say that you shouldn’t examine your own heart.

We’re going to get to that in a minute.

But don’t think that if you take the blame for something you didn’t do that you are forgiving the person who hurt you.

o       What’s actually going to happen is this: if you take the blame for something someone else did, you may keep the peace for a while, but it will only be a matter of time before the anger, resentment, bitterness, and even hatred will begin to show up.

o       And if it doesn’t show up externally, it will probably do a ton of damage internally in the form of ulcers, heart attacks and high blood pressure.

o       You can be dishonest with other people, but you can’t be dishonest with yourself for long.

Deep down, you know the truth.

o       And forgiveness demands that you face the truth.

You can’t just blame yourself.

·        Keeping the Peace at any cost

 

What Forgiveness IS: (Slide)

-         Facing the Wrong

o       Honestly acknowledging the wrong done.

o       Forgiveness is not denial

o       Story of Joseph

o       Need to be specific

§         Let me say one more thing about facing the wrong: we need to be specific.

Don’t just think in generalities.

It may even be helpful to make a detailed list.

Because when we write down the details of who has wronged us and what they did, we are forced to face the wrong.

Not only that, but once we have truly forgiven each person and each act, we can then burn that sucker and see with our own eyes that it’s gone.

-         Feel the Pain    

o       If we want to be set free from the prison of unforgiveness, it won’t come by denying or refusing to acknowledge the pain.

o       You see, sometimes we are willing to acknowledge that we’ve have been wronged, but we won’t admit that it hurt.

o       We harden our hearts and we shut down our emotions and we refuse to allow ourselves to be hurt.

o       Breaking the sound barrier illustration

§         The way to healing is not by pulling away from the pain, but by pushing through it.

-         Confess Our Own Unforgiveness

o       When we refuse to forgive, we are just as much in the wrong as the one who sinned against us.

We saw that clearly last week in the parable of the ungrateful servant.

o       And the longer we refuse to forgive, the harder our heart grows, and the more difficult it is for us to let go.

o       So, before we can forgive the other person who has hurt us, we need to ask God to forgive us for our sin against him.

o       What we learned last week is that we can’t give what we don’t have.

Until we have experienced the fullness of God’s forgiveness in our own lives, we can’t extend grace and forgiveness to others.

§         Hebrews 12:15

·        “See to it that no one misses the grace of God and that no bitter root grows up to cause trouble and defile many.”

§         If we want to be free from the prison of unforgiveness, we’ve got to let God clean out the anger, resentment and hatred in our own heart.

Then we will be able to forgive others.

-         Release the Offender

o       Greek words for forgiveness:

§         Apoluo: to release, set free

§         Aphieni: to set aside

o       So, when we say “I forgive you.”

What we are actually saying is this, “I choose to release you from the debt you owe me.”

o       Let’s think about it in more practical terms.

If you come over to my house and destroy something I own, you are in debt to me.

You are responsible for getting it fixed or replacing it.

But if I forgive you, I am releasing you from your debt.