Keywords: alone, dreams, omniscience, selfish, tests
August 27, 2001
32:27 So He said to him, “What is your name?” and he said, “Jacob.”
This story came at the right time. Or was it that the dream I had last night was given to coincide with the story? It was a tempting dream. I struggled to ‘rewrite’ it so that it was Jesus in the dream. It was not easy but like Jacob, I didn’t give up. It felt like a test and now seems even more so. And I woke up tired.
The extra readings are the stories of Zacchaeus and the woman at the well. In both cases, Jesus knew. He knew his name and his need. He knew all about her and her need.
He knows mine also. He knows that I need Him, that I must learn how to use my imagination in a right way, even conquer the dreams that I have. Best of all, He knows how to make that happen.
I feel really alone. I may not be in a desert but feel isolated. This is good. I am not afraid of it. I’m thankful that I know the Lord well enough to realize what He is doing in my life and also thankful for His prompting to make the switch in my devotional material. He wanted to fix something and needed Hughes’ booklet to help me cooperate with Him.
Hughes tells how God dealt with his ego. He was self-centered and the blessings of God were withheld. He was lured into the desert, his life slowed down and he cried out to God. In the ensuing wrestling match, God asked his name and he finally spat out: “My name is Ego.”
I don’t know what my name is. Likely “Selfish.” I think of most of my conversations, even this one, and there are so many personal pronouns. So much of what I talk about is about me. Yikes. I know it but cannot seem to change it. Help me, Lord.
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