Relationships - Trap Doors
Trap Doors – Wishful thinking
It very hard to keep under control the wishes one feels from his heart. There is something which is in mankind which constantly has wishes, a domain from within us which we can never master, but only try to control. The world around us is inherently aware of this and we see it all the time.
Commercials and all forms of media stir our desires and our wishes which call for us to go on spending and shopping sprees. Suddenly something we never thought about becomes our want, we see it and we need it, and then we get. All of a sudden we see what happens when the desires that are from our fallen nature become the wishes of heart and manifest in our actions. However, when we are awakened to God’s provision something happens to our wishes.
When we surrender completely to Jesus it seems the domain from within us that wishes, becomes completely altered, and suddenly we are sensitive that our wishes answer to Jesus as he softens our entire nature. Our awakening not only alerts us to God’s provision but make us sensitive to his voice.
When we hear Him we become aware of our wishes whether they are for virtue or for stuff, and we simply wish to be sensitive with him and his purposes. God places his wishes within that sensitivity. As he softens our nature his voice becomes clearer and his provision obvious, but even more then that he lights a fire on our wishes and illuminates our spiritual instincts.
When we were children and our parents gave us our wishes, for example toys, something happened within us and our wishes. In that domain in which our wishes became realized we recognize another word and it’s meaning for the first time. “Mine!”
Our wishes became our possession and we were possessed in a way by our wishes as they are made real. Suddenly we create boundaries and rules and even judgments all wrapped around a wish that manifested into a possession. At this age we didn’t even know our want was for a toy until that toy became possessed by us. Then in some way when other kids came around our toy we weren’t open to allowing them to also possess our toy, instead we had to learn another word, “share!”
Now here is the thing, as our parents try to teach us about sharing we did not just pick up on it, we had to be broken until we came to the realization of what it meant. That realization wasn’t a realization until it manifested in our actions and we actually shared our toys. Which means the initial lesson of sharing from our perspective came from a heart that was dead against sharing our stuff.
Our hearts were hard toward sharing until they became broken to it. The wishes that became our possessions didn’t free us or satisfy us from more wishes or possessions, but instead desensitized us to our own sympathies.
Rev 9:20,21
20 The rest of mankind that were not killed by these plagues still did not repent of the work of their hands; they did not stop worshiping demons, and idols of gold, silver, bronze, stone and wood—idols that cannot see or hear or walk. 21 Nor did they repent of their murders, their magic arts, their sexual immorality or their thefts.
This very important illustration shows us that left to our own wishes we will never completely surrender. Even in our earliest age of childhood our hearts are hardened by wishes that come from a domain within us not yet softened to sensitivity of the Spirit. This hardness of heart isn’t limited to just possession but can be seen in love and relationships just as well.
When we bring our wishes to sex, love, or to relationships and it becomes our possession out of, our desires it desensitizes us to our own sympathies and hardens our hearts. This hardness of heart only leaves us to our own nature and always opens us up to some unsuspected “hell” until we have been dominated by our Lord.
1 Tim 4:2
2 Such teachings come through hypocritical liars, whose consciences have been seared as with a hot iron.
When wishes become manifest into possessions they harden our hearts not only to God’s voice, but away from the need in others. In a sense they sear our consciences focus and dependence upon God. It confuses what matters in our finite minds away from the eternal treasures we are suppose to be storing up. Instead of Loving God with all our, heart, spirit, and mind, and loving our neighbors we become obsessed by our wishes. Rather then focusing on the eternal things of God, suddenly our possession like, our houses, our cars, our money, our boyfriend or girlfriend become to important and take a direction opposite from God. We are seared in our conscience because we are only sympathetic to ourselves and unsympathetic to everything outside our wishes and our possession. This is especially true when the Lord tries to speak into your lives and tell someone their thinking is off by another person. We instantly shut them and head back to our possession.
Luke 14:26
6 “If anyone comes to me and does not hate his father and mother, his wife and children, his brothers and sisters—yes, even his own life—he cannot be my disciple. 27 And anyone who does not carry his cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.
When the Lord speaks of discipleship he catalogues the other loves in our lives. This is because His expectation is for him be to the dominant love in our lives, because any other loves will be a trap door to something entirely removed from God’s purposes.
When we are awakened to His provision and he becomes our want a change takes place in our nature. We are softened to his presence and sensitized to His awareness and his voice. Just as desires shows us we are fallen our wishes manifested into possession show us our hardness of heart when they come from a non-redemptive place.
It is no coincidence that our desires and wishes scream while God’s voice is a still small quit voice heard by the sensitivity of Holy Spirit. When our wishes are triggered by our wants it only hardens our heart to that sensitivity and to Gods purpose and voice. When Adam and Eve fell from the garden the biggest loss was the walk they once had and the voice of God that Spoke directly to them. From that moment on God rarely spoke directly with man, but began to speak through Angels, the written word, and through prophets. This is because there minds were seared to their desires and wishes rather then to his voice!
Luke 9:59 -62
59 He said to another man, “Follow me.”
But the man replied, “Lord, first let me go and bury my father.”
60 Jesus said to him, “Let the dead bury their own dead, but you go and proclaim the kingdom of God.”
61 Still another said, “I will follow you, Lord; but first let me go back and say good-by to my family.”
62 Jesus replied, “No one who puts his hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God.”
The light that has awakened us to God’s provision calls us not only to be Christ-like but to completion. One is not obedient simply because he says he believes, one is obedient because he followed his call after him unto the job is done.
Completion is God’s work in us and God’s work for us. When God is awakened and revealed that can never be made complete in us until it both awakens us on the inside and manifests from us on the outside. When a wish is obedient to God it always bears fruit, not only for the kingdom, but in the kingdom of God in you. You truly can’t separate God’s call from his expectation of action.
When we separate the two our wishes become our wishes and his way goes his way. Furthermore if his transforming power is not followed by obedience then the wish he places in your heart will translate itself into a corrupting power in your life instead of redeeming power. So many times, like in the passage above, we take the mundane things of this world and make them more important, but in the structure of the everlasting it has no value at all.
How many times does our wishes become what is important, rather then our obedience to his call till completion. This has never been truer in people’s lives then when it comes to relationships. We will take the advice of people and parents who have been divorced, we will read books, and talk about it over with our friends, but will you accept the revelation that has been given for purpose of Gods kingdom, rather the purposes of your own heart for your own kingdom. Will you accept what he says about relationships?
In essence God’s plan for salvation was for you to hear his voice again. That’s why it’s so important to quit down. We have to quit our thought life, what we listen to, what we watch, and humble ourselves to his word. Again all desires scream and all their demands shout.
But what if through obedience you began to obey Gods commands in full? What if the things we see as so important are really just a distraction that hardens your heart against God’s voice? Whenever the conviction of God’s Spirit comes there is the softening of the whole nature to obey; but if the obedience is not instant there will come a metallic hardening and a corrupting of the guidance of God.
When we meet the Jesus of the bible and find the reality of his presence the instincts of our heart become inspired. We need to let that which is awakened lead and that which is reveled guide us.
Luke 4:22
22 All spoke well of him and were amazed at the gracious words that came from his lips.
When people came into contact with Jesus and heard his words they were instinctively inspired. Their instincts turned in the right direction. However, when our own prejudices come into the picture we close down the witness of our hearts and fall to our own instincts, wishes, and desires.
Luke 4:28
28 All the people in the synagogue were furious when they heard this. 29 They got up, drove him out of the town, and took him to the brow of the hill on which the town was built, in order to throw him down the cliff.
We must learn to let the instinct that speaks to our heart within his presence lead us. God’s word calls for action. We must be pushed past will and never let awakening settle. Inspiration always leads us towards something and never makes us look backward to what could have been. The devils wants us to see our shame and wallow in it, while God wants us to recognize we are sinners and get off the cross and head towards Pentecost.
We can never postpone a moral decision. Second thoughts in morality are always deflection. In the presence of God no one ever thought twice they acted. When our wishes are not surrendered to Gods wants our hearts become cold to God’s purpose. When he is speaking there is no mid way. The slightest revision of what one knows God is telling him to do is the first element in the damnation of your character in particular.
John 3:19
9 This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil.
Immediately when I see what God wants me to do in his presence I must give up everything and go do it and care nothing for the consequences. It is the fate of those like the rich young ruler, that we are left to when we don’t beckon the call of our Lord even though are instincts are awakened. We are him when our wishes become more important then his will, and when the mundane things of the world become what is most important. When this is what we become we, like him, walk away from our Lord sorrowful and unknown, lost and never found. Awakening leads to obedience which softens us to a spiritual sensitivity, but disobedience only harden and sears the conscious against his will and voice. It is better to turn over everything to the light of his will, then to walk away in the shadows of our wishes.
John 17:17
17 If anyone chooses to do God’s will, he will find out whether my teaching comes from God or whether I speak on my own.
Jesus puts out a challenge to all who wish to do God’s will. He challenges them to follow his teaching. The only way to know God is to will to do his will. This challenge is toward the sum of our actions. It should be belief come unto existence. It should be the legs of faith. That is, if we say we believe then Jesus’ teaching manifests itself in our lives. Moreover, obedience opens us to his revelation to his wishes and will. It teaches us to give as he gave and put no boundary on the eternal things of God. The wishes apart from God’s provision have no value in eternity. It causes walls in our hearts and minds and hardens us towards God purpose and sets the trap door to our own way.
The Trap Door
God is a big God and his design for marriage has a much bigger intent then most of us realize. When we approach such a sacred institute from the trap of our wishes and desires we find that destruction is inevitable. Often instead of finding our mate through God and his principles we find our mate and try to sprinkle those principles onto the relationship. But surrender to God is in essence to turn over to him completely. God has these principles not to punish us but to keep us under his covering, meaning his protection. However, when we step outside of God’s best we step outside not only his will, but his protection. The trap door is when our wishes manifest into our possession and become its own path. Often times when this happens we loose our direction, our protection and begin a downward spiral into sin Let’s look at an example: Let’s look at the beginning of Samson life, but before we proceed lets preface this story with two scriptures.
Exodus 34:16
16 And when you choose some of their daughters as wives for your sons and those daughters prostitute themselves to their gods, they will lead your sons to do the same.
Deuteronomy 7:3
3 Do not intermarry with them. Do not give your daughters to their sons or take their daughters for your sons, 4 for they will turn your sons away from following me to serve other gods, and the Lord’s anger will burn against you and will quickly destroy you.
Samson was a Nazerite and according to Num 6:2-21 these were special Israelites who generally separates themselves and consecrates themselves unto God. The vow of a Nazerite involved three things, the abstinence from wine and strong drink, refraining from cutting the hair off the head during the whole period of a vow, and the avoidance of contact with the dead. When we study Samson we will see that he was not very apt to follow the Lords commands despite his calling to deliver his people.
Samson’s story is about his personal weakness reflected in his character. This weakness was not just his own character flaw, but also the flaw of the nation of Israel itself. There frivolous attitude toward being consecrated unto God led them to a life of insufficiency and lasting supremacy over their foes. As we move on toward this lesson please read Judges 14.
Samson’s first girlfriend was a girl from Timnath a Philistine town. It was there he met the first of his Lovers. It is assumed because his tribe was in such a close proximity that his attitude weekend because he had no hesitation about his want to marry the young Philistine girl.
Despite braking the Mosaic Law given to him by God, as seen above, his wishes and desires weighed more in his heart then God’s Law. Now God usually tries to warn people when they are getting reading to do the wrong thing and in Samson case this is no different. His parents question his decision and yet he continued to ignore and dismiss both his parents and God’s call to him. He was more concerned with what pleases himself rather then what pleases God. This takes us back to what we talked about earlier. When our wishes manifest outside of God’s redemption they take us by possession and away from God’s direction and protection. This is certainly the case here. But let’s see how far Samson wishes and desire go and where they take him.
As proceed down to verse 7 we find when God’s word describes the Philistine woman they do not describe her by her virginity. This is very unusual for almost every time there is a mention of a Godly relationship brought together by his Law there is mention of the requirement of virginity (Gen 24:16). This term is not used when describing the “woman” from Philistine and so Samson again ignored God’s Law. How often when we sin against God it hardens our heart toward God and when we perceive we have gotten away with something it always leads us to move our boundaries.
If our desires are not in line with our God how often it drifts us toward the next shameful act. Again we see this in Samson’s life. In verse 8 Samson returns to the carcass of the lion he had killed and finds honey within the dead lion’s body. This seems harmless enough except for the fact it breaks the Nazerite vow of touching a corpse. Furthermore, he not only deliberately breaks his vow he gives a gift of honey to his parents and shames them as well.
Not long after this we see that his sin has no limits as he continues to break his vows of consecration before God. There is abundant evidence that Philistines were given to drinking and carousing. Archeology points to the fact that Philistines were given to excessive drinking however, Samson again dismisses his vow not to touch wine or strong drink and instead of holding the feast as it is customary in those days, at the grooms house, they hold it at the bridegroom.
It is there that Samson continues a whirlwind of disgraceful behavior so much to the point where he disgraces his bride to be and angers and insults the Philistines present. When Samson leaves this party and returns he finds that the Father has given his bride to be to the best man.
There has been times probably in all of our lives where God’s word has fallen onto our deaf ears and we dismiss the fact of what he want to do what we want. The underlying message here shows us the continual cycle of sin when we do not become obedient to the commands of God. In every case I can think of in my own life when
I have allowed my wishes to lead my path it has always left me a mess. Moreover, it has left me with hurt and baggage that God now has to deal with me about before I can move on. This kind of behavior in my life could have been avoided and the healing process I have needed could have been time I spent doing Gods will instead of working toward healing to get myself in position.
Samson lacked many qualities in the story that are needed to walk the way God wishes and intends for us to walk. However, like us, his biggest weakness was also his biggest strong point. That was his strength. It is easy to rely on our own abilities and strength but that doesn’t mean we should. How we know that grace is so powerful is that when salvation comes it not only delivers us, but it sets us on a path. We must avoid the things we want until we have allowed God to shape our wishes in that powerful grace.
These principles are never more potent when it come to our relationships. God’s best wasn’t for Samson to cast away restraint and his commands, break his vows, and find the non-virgin with another man. Yet there are some people who like the drama, who need attention in there lives, even if it is all completely negative. It’s funny how when we know when rebellion is placed in front of us and yet we still smile at the thought of crossing the line.
I’m sure it was like that in the Garden with Eve as the Serpent convinced her to pick from the tree. However, that apple was only fools Gold that distracted them from the fullness of God provision. And that is how it is when we set our minds on the apple. Suddenly our focus shifts so narrowly to our own desire rather then provision God has as far as the eye can see. Then when we have made our choice and it falls apart we are just left with shame and the Devil is Gone just like in the Garden.
When it comes to what God has for you concerning not only courting, but finding a spouse God’s word, just like Moses law, is very clear.
2 Cor 6:14
14 Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? 15 What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever?
We have to decide how we will be led concerning God. Salvation should sensitize us to Gods voice and help to find our strength in his grace and that source is our power. The cross calls us to cast down the desires of this world and to find in him our way. Being led by God does not call for us to wonder outside the boundaries of Israel into Philistine country it calls us to be obedient unto God right where we are at. It is time to cast off all folk theology, which means we believe in something on the basis of belief itself, and find out what God is wanting to say to you based on his word and commands. It is Gods word and at your prayer alters that you will find God’s will for your life. However, God’s will calls us to action first and to his wishes second. When we understand this we can begin to discover his true purpose for marriage. Outside of that we fall into yet another trap door. Samson was another anointed man of God who was aware of his role and God’s commands, but placed his own needs in front of God. God doesn’t want to punish us with his principles but protect from the pitfalls that come when we step outside his covering. Samson was example of doing things his way and all he got was a woman who cheated on him with his best man. God speaks into our lives to bless us and protect us. We must allow what awakened us to him to soften our nature to his voice. So let us find out what God does have for concerning marriage.
Marriage
In Gen 2:18-25 you will notice and find the term “helper” used twice. This term just doesn’t fill a need by made but recognizes an action needed for his intent in man and woman as a union. So before God in eternity, in his intent for marriage we see that in companionship God had a sense of purpose for marriages. Now the term helper means to make it easier to do something or to bring aid. The implication here is that God not only ordained marriage of a man and women, but he also ordained in marriage purpose.
Marriage is not he union of attraction or the union of goals for a common purpose, and it is more then two people coming together for the sake of just sexual desire, or love. There is a definite overall intention, and overall purpose, a divine call for marriages. Think of Abraham and Sarah, Jacob and Rachel, Ester, and Joseph and Mary. When we analyze these couples we find divine purpose in their lives together. Furthermore, we see how God moved in each individual to bring them together for his purpose. In almost every case the importance of your personal relationship with God will ultimately determine how your purpose in God’s will be played out.
The implication of divine purpose in marriage should teach us the importance for ourselves to have a kingdom mindset when we even think of dating someone. If our goal is just to find someone that will say, “Yes.” We reduce the divine purpose of God’s intention simply to something we need out of our flesh. Like Samson the means to our flesh driven wish never equal a fulfillment in God’s purpose. However, if we see God as our provision and wait on his timing, on his will, we align ourselves with his intent.
When we align ourselves with his intent marriage becomes something more then just a union of two believers it becomes a vessel of God’s will for his purposes. A God ordained marriage has conquered kingdoms, overthrown kings, changed the heart of a nation, and has been used to save mankind. It is shameful in this world how we have lost a sense of sacredness when it comes to the intention of God for marriages and the fruit of that intent manifested in our lives.
This is found because of a lack of fear of God, a lack of trust in God, a lack of love for God and sadly enough a lack of knowledge of God and his word. I think we should remember that Adam and Eve literally alked in purity and provision with God in the Garden. However, we should ask the question, “Could they have been in the presence of God, and in the intent of God if one of them wasn’t a believer, or if they were unequally yoked together, or if there motive was derived from sexuality or desire?”
However, everyone in this room tonight needs renewing in the mind when it comes to marriage. There are some here tonight that think the institution of marriage as something God ordained for our happiness, rather than for his purpose. Because of this worldly attitude we have brought to marriages, we have the shifting of desires and man made goals. Sadly enough what most people will never understand is that true happiness can not be found outside of God. True happiness will only be found in the eternalness of God’s provision. God is a big God and his design for marriage has a much bigger intent then most of realize.
Finding a marriage partner to me is like seeking the baptism of the Holy Ghost, you don’t seek the gift you seek the giver of the gift. When we focus on the gift or the prize we loose site of what God is actually trying to do in you. Keep in sink and allow God to soften you to the wonders of his ways anything else is a trap door.