I. Intro: Trash talk. With news paper build the highest stack of balled paper (5 min). Newspaper volleyball. The side with the most trash loses. Bury the smallest person. The best time wins.
These games can be compared to what happens when we don’t use our mouth the way the Lord wants us to. When we start talking trash this is the result.
1. What does the room look like and feel like? Dirty, cluttered, messy. A lot like what’s inside our hearts when we start talking trash.
2. How did it get like this? We allowed it! Most times we enjoy talking trash, somehow it makes us cool and everybody’s attention is on us and how funny we can be talking trash about someone else.
3. How about trash volleyball, that’s just what happens when we start trash talking. We start throwing insults at each other, other people join in, then it’s a competition who can out do the other, but this usually leaves a big mess...look around. Not to mention the person you destroy.
4. How about when you buried the small one. It usually starts with one person then everyone joins in and helps to bury someone. Sometimes you don’t even have to say anything, just by standing there you your contributing.
II. So what do we need to do?
1. (Col 4:6) “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”
The phrase, “alway with grace” means graciousness (full of tact, kindness, and politeness). It also has the idea of the Lord’s influence upon our hearts, and it’s reflection on our life. Do you allow the Lord to influence you?
2. The tongue has incredible power. This power can have positive influence or be destructive.
a. A kind word can build you up - (Prov 10:20-21) “The tongue of the just is as choice silver: the heart of the wicked is little worth. (21) The lips of the righteous feed many: but fools die for want of wisdom.”
(1) (Prov 26:20) “Where no wood is the fire goeth out.” It’s better to say nothing.
(2) Kill with kindness. Example of....
b. A mean and hateful work can break your heart! James 3 tells us that a tongue used wrongly “is a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.” That’s powerful! You have that power.
III. Let’s consider how to speak with grace
1. First, you need grace in your heart. (Col 3:16) “Let the word of the Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.”
a. Before your speech can be “alway with grace” you need it in your heart! Why? (Luke 6:45) “A good man out of the treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is good; and an evil man out of the evil treasure of his heart bringeth forth that which is evil: for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh.”
(1) A person who says kind things, has a kind heart.
(2) A person who says negative things, has a negative heart.
(3) A person who says mean things, has a mean heart.
(4) What kind of heart do you have? What’s inside comes out!
2. What if you have grace in your heart? Col 3:17 tells us what happens: “And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.”
a. Do all in the name of our Lord Jesus!! This means with His approval! Does the Lord approve of your speech?
b. No one who curses, swears, lies, gossips, runs others down...is letting the Word of Christ dwell in them richly! This should be our goal in this youth group, Whatever we say, say it in the name of the Lord! You’ll have a hard time yelling at each other in the name in Jesus’ name, Hard time laughing at one another in Jesus’ name, Hard time putting someone down in Jesus’ name.
c. We need God’s grace in our hearts! This mean true Salvation and complete Submission!
IV. How do We Test Gracious Speech? (4 tests)
1. Is it true??? ”seasoned with salt...”
a. Salt was used for preserving and purifying, Seasoned speech is truthful. Eph 4:15 tells us to speak the truth in love...Before you repeat a statement, MAKE SURE IT IS TRUE!!!
b. It’s often said “I believe only half of what I see, and nothing what I hear!” Just because someone said it doesn’t make it true!
2. Is it complete? It’s easy to get half a story, what is said may be true, but it is not complete. Get the whole story.
3. Is it necessary? What you say may be true, it may be complete, but is it NECESSARY??
a. Eph 4:15, “Speaking the truth in LOVE”!!
b. 1 Pet 4:8, “And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover a multitude of sins.”
c. Some of the most hurtful words I have heard has been the ones that proceed by the words, “it’s the truth.”... Just because it’s the truth doesn’t make it necessary. Most times silence truly is golden!
4. Is it Kind? (Rom 12:10) “Be kindly affectioned one to another with brotherly love; in honor preferring one another,”
(Eph 4:31-32 “Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: (32) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving on another as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.”
V. Suggestions for Speaking with Grace.
1. Determine to control your tongue
2. Say only good things about others.
3. Remember your accountability. (Mat 12:36) “But I say unto you , That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof in the day of judgment.”
4. Ask the Lord to Help you! (Psa 141:3) “Set a watch, O Lord, before my mouth; keep the door of my lops.”
VI. Conclusion: Your words, what you say tells so much about you! Every time you speak people judge you by the words you use...
1. Do your words, Build others up, or tear them down?
2. Show the love of Christ? or drive them away from the Lord.
3. We need (Col 4:6) “Let your speech be alway with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”