Spirit Led Submission at Home.
Church, Let’s Be the Church • Sermon • Submitted • Presented
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When we honor one another, we honor God.
Last week I talked about marriage.
Marriage requires sacrifice, work, and submission. Submitting is hard because we are naturally selfish. We are born selfish… even as a little baby, fragile sweet little baby who sees the world as revolving around him or herself.
That selfish worldview doesn’t change unless God changes us and we become intentional in how we view ourselves in light of who God created us to become.
Our relationship with Christ will reflect our relationship with others.
Our relationship with Christ will reflect our marriage, our kids, our parents.
The best gift you can give your kids is a healthy marriage so invest in your marriage. Set the spiritual tone of your marriage… pray together, spend time together and share with your family what God is doing in your life personally.
Pray with your kids and pray with your spouse. Let your family know that God is actively involved in your life. Christ-like submission is required in our relationships.
Let’s look at our text this morning.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.” 4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
PRAY
Paul offers practical instructions about the family relationships as well as the relationships where we are under authority or in authority.
The gospel has a tremendous impact on our relationships. We have the opportunity to live out our new life in Christ within the framework of family relationships and work relationships.
Since Christ is making us new, we cannot compare ourselves to our dysfunctional world and culture.
The way we raise our kids… the way we treat our parents will look much differently God’s way vs the world’s way. Biblically we look at relationships differently from the world.
As we see work as worship unto the Lord, society sees work as a hated place, a place to complain about, it’s an unnecessary evil.
When we decide to follow Jesus and align with God’s way and God’s Word when it comes to relationships, that decision will set the tone for the rest of our life.
As we focus on the family this morning, we will see the rules and the roles in light of living out that Biblical mandate as parents and children.
House rules for Children
House rules for Children
As followers of Christ, we are commanded to honor and obey our parents.
Even though our kids will make their own decisions in life, as parents, God gives us the blueprint to best equip our children to become followers of Christ and thrive into adulthood.
Even as adults, we will never stop being somebody else’s child.
Honoring our parents still applies because it’s still one of the commandments the Lord gives us to obey.
This commandment is quoted five other places in the New Testament.
Only our Heavenly Father is the perfect parent.
Families are not perfect… there is never an ideal scenario in family life.
Nonetheless, we are still commanded to honor and obey our parents.
1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother” (this is the first commandment with a promise), 3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
The younger our children are the more influence and authority parents have.
As long as your child is living in your home, obedience is how children are to honor their parents.
Kids, trust that your mom or dad will lead you in the right direction. Mom and dad set the rules so obey the rules.
When living at home, it’s not the child’s job to correct or to teach the parent. It’s the parent’s job to teach and correct the child.
Parents are going to make mistakes, they will not always get it right. There will be moments where we question mom or dad’s decision however, at the end, trust that God has established the spiritual authority in your family and life for your best interest.
God knows what we need better than we do, and when we obey our parents even when it’s not ideal or convenient blessing will eventually follow. We may not see it right away, but God promises His blessing when we obey and honor our parents.
We all need grace… we all need patience… we all need forgiveness… we all need love and strength for both leading our family well and trusting our parents through obedience.
Kids, pray for your parents. Pray that God will give them wisdom.
Most of us aren’t experts at being parents. We learn as we go but God promises to give us the strength to fulfill this important work. Believe that God has called us and HE will provide us the wisdom to do it well.
As adults, we must honor our parents
As adults, we must honor our parents
This commandment still needs to be applied as adults.
We must always honor our parents and respect their position of influence and authority as our parents.
Even as older children, living on our own, even after we get married, even after we have raised our own children, God still requires us to honor our parents.
As adults we must listen to the wise counsel of our parents because they have many more years of experience then we do.
We honor our parents in their old age through physical and financial support as they get older and need help.
Jesus rebuked the Pharisees for disregarding one of God’s commandment because of their own traditions.
Then Pharisees and scribes came to Jesus from Jerusalem and asked Jesus, “Why do your disciples break the tradition of the elders? For they do not wash their hands when they eat.”
Then Jesus answered them with a question.
3 He answered them, “And why do you break the commandment of God for the sake of your tradition? 4 For God commanded, ‘Honor your father and your mother,’ and, ‘Whoever reviles father or mother must surely die.’ 5 But you say, ‘If anyone tells his father or his mother, “What you would have gained from me is given to God,” 6 he need not honor his father.’ So for the sake of your tradition you have made void the word of God.
Jesus is saying that honoring our parents and honoring to the Lord.
Take care of your parents when they need help. Even if you are doing the Lord’s work, this commandment is still valid must be applied today.
We honor our parents in different seasons of life. As mom and dad get older, caring for our parents can be difficult and require a lot of time and work.
3 Honor widows who are truly widows. 4 But if a widow has children or grandchildren, let them first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.
8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
We must do our very best to honor our parents. Enjoy every season because the time we spent with our moms and dads will be precious memories made in every season.
Paul reminds us of the promise
3 “that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land.”
Honoring our parents brings prosperity and long life. When we obey and honor our parents, it will lead to order and stability within the family.
This promised mostly applies to the community not necessarily to the individual.
That’s why strong, stable, and healthy families will bless our community. That’s why as a church, we must make reaching and discipling families a priority.
House rules for Parents
House rules for Parents
4 Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.
The Greek word for “fathers” in verse 4 can also mean “parents,” but more likely Paul is turning attention specifically to fathers.
Fathers were responsible for their instruction from about age seven.
Fathers had absolute control and were sometimes harsh; that is why Paul includes the warning against provoking children to anger.
Being a parent is a hard job, but if God grants a person the privilege, nothing in life is more important.
Nurture… do not exasperate your children. Create a culture of grace, love, support, respect, and encouragement.
Speak the truth in love.
Tend to the material and emotional needs of your children.
Teach, hold accountable, and discipline in all areas of life.
Teach the value of hard work and caring for others.
Refuse to put down, demean, or damage others.
Establish legitimate boundaries but also grand freedom.
Avoid unhealthy pressure or expectations
Refuse to live vicariously through your children.
As parents, we must encourage, correct and punish wrong behavior only when it is deliberate and intentional.
Do not show favoritism.
Teach and discipline your children early in life. Teach them what it means to obey and honor their parents with godly instruction and discipline.
Proverbs 13:24 (ESV)
24 Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.
Parents, lead, provide for, and teach your children how to become independent. Equip them so when they become mature adults they will contribute to a better society in the fear and admiration of the Lord.
Parent, let your kids go after they get married, let them have their own family.
Release them to the Lord and trust that our children were raised well, support them, pray for them and watch them soar.
31 “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”
Once your children are married off and become adults. Let them have their own family, do not control them, do not manipulate, do not guilt trip your kids but support them, pray for them, encourage them. Keep an open door for them, do not burn bridges.
As the 2 become one flesh, let them thrive, open your self to them, but never force your opinion upon them.
Trust that as they parent your grandchildren well. Whether they succeed or fail, rest in the promise that God’s grace is always sufficient.
In whatever season we are in, God’s calling parents is to raise their children in a way that prepares them to fulfill God’s purpose for their lives.
As the church we can help equip and assist parents and families to thrive but ultimately faith starts in the family.
Our children will eventually spot our hypocrisy.
People, including Christians, have a public and a private persona. They appear as warm, congenial, righteous in public, but at home our worst selves come out in private.
When children turn their back the faith of their parents its painful. But children are less likely to reject their faith if they see that their parents are willingly living out the same genuine faith everywhere in humility and honesty.
Research says that around 70% of teenagers drop out of church between the ages of 17–19.
However, those kids return to the church when they see an active, practiced faith in their parents and other positive examples at church.
We want to see our kids not becoming dropouts and start becoming disciples.
As parents who want to raise champions for Christ we must dedicate our children to God and dedicate ourselves to raising our kids Biblically early in life.
Teach your children in all they do to honor the Lord.
Deter them away from anything that might offend God, to love what is right and to hate what is evil.
Instill in them an awareness of God’s attitude and judgment toward sin.
Teach your children to obey and follow your guidance through proper Biblical discipline.
Protect your children from ungodly influences. Teach them to choose their friends wisely.
Make your children aware that God is always observing and evaluating what they do, think and say.
Lead your children early in life to personally accept Christ and yield themselves to HIM as Lord of their lives.
Help them to follow Jesus. Encourage water baptism… making their faith public and living out their new identity with Christ.
Bring your kids to church. Learn from God’s Word as a family. Be filled with the Holy Spirit and operate freely through Spirit led gifts and ministries.
Teach and encourage them to talk about their faith in Christ and to pursue HIS purpose for their lives.
Teach them that even though they will encounter many troubles in life, remind them of their hope is in Jesus and HIS eternal presence in our lives.
Remind them that we are “aliens and strangers on earth”… we are simply passing through and our citizenship is in heaven with Christ.
Make sure your kids know how much you love them but mostly God loves them. God has a specific purpose for their lives.
Help discover their unique gifts, talents and abilities,
Lead them to develop those gifts.
And to deploy those opportunities for God to use them for HIS Kingdom.
Teach them to honor God with all of their personal resources and to contribute regularly to God’s work with their time, talent and treasure.
Teach them to do good to others whenever they have opportunity.
Instruct your children daily in God’s Word, both in conversation and family time in God’s Word and prayer.
Prepare your children to stand strong in their devotion to Christ.
Constantly pray for your children.
Bring them up with the discipline and instruction that comes from the Lord.
Teaching, instructing and disciplining is important within the home. Christians are to be nurturers, especially in their own homes.
Regardless of what society says, our children are extremely valuable. Parents, this opportunity must not be taken lightly.
Kids are not to be ignored or merely tolerated, but cared for, instructed about life in Christ, and nurtured in their faith.
As parents, we are stewards of the precious gifts we have in our children.
Recognize the value and influence you have as parents. We have one shot so make it count.
Take Away:
Children: Honor and obey our parents
Parents: Lead and manage your family well.
Church: Honor and support families.
Pray for families, encourage and disciple parents to build up families as they become Godly men and women within the church.
For the older generation, set the example and invest your experience; mentor and teach the younger generation.
Every generation has tremendous value: We must value the experiences of parents, grandparents, and the pillars of our faith within the church.
10 Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.