Justified Week 4- Hurt

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When you’re angry, don’t hurt others.

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WHAT? What are we talking about today?
IMAGE | The Riddler
INSTRUCTIONS: As you teach, show the image of the Riddler like this one on the screen, and leave it up on the screen.
Welcome back to our final week of Justified, where we are discovering how to handle our anger, even if it's for a good reason. In comics, the villains that frequently evoke the most anger from superheroes are those who don't use brute force to fight — rather, they use mind games.
ACTIVITY | Riddler's Maze
Defeating villains like the Riddler requires a different approach than Batman is used to. A hero's muscles and strength are no match for the might of a puzzle. If Batman is anything like me, puzzles bring him much frustration.
Let's see if your anger gets the best of you in this riddle game.
Play “Riddler” Screen Game
When frustrated, we often use force to get back on the right track. But what if force stalls our efforts and creates rifts? Can others teach us a better pathway through the maze we are in?
VIDEO | A Clip from Spider-Man: No Way Home (Part 1)
In Spider-Man: No Way home, Peter Parker was mad. He was angry at the Green Goblin for killing his aunt and trying to hurt his friends. Peter Parker is furious that he seems helpless to stop it, so he starts to lose control.
INSTRUCTIONS: As a teaching tool, play a short clip (2:223:14) like this one from Spider-Man: No Way Home, where Spider-Man battles the Green Goblin.
Of course, we'll never find ourselves in a fight scene like this, but it certainly can feel that way inside.
QUESTION | "Can you relate to wanting to destroy something after you've been hurt?"
INSTRUCTIONS: These questions are here to help students begin to process how anger can lead us to perpetuate harm if we are not careful. Ask the following questions and allow a few students to respond.
As Spider-Man checked in on his friends, what do you think he thought when he saw his nemesis?
Can you relate to wanting to destroy something after you've been hurt?
In our friendships and families, we can hurt others after being hurt. Sometimes it's aimed at the perpetrator, sometimes just a bystander. It is not surprising that we do this. We want other people to share what we are experiencing. How can we process pain without sacrificing our relationships by becoming hurtful?
SO WHAT? Why does it matter to God and to us?
SCRIPTURE | Ephesians 4:22–27
In a letter to the Ephesians, Paul, a leader in the Early Church, says our anger shouldn't control us. He shows us a way that validates our anger and rights the wrong we have experienced. Paul had experience dealing with his anger in the wrong way. He was a religious man devoted to what he thought was right living, following the rules, and teaching others to do the same. When the first churches started to form after Jesus left, our understanding of worshiping God and the rules around that started to change. This made young Paul angry, which led him to horrific choices. He hunted down Christians and turned them into the authorities to be imprisoned and sometimes executed. But when Paul encountered Jesus, he underwent a massive change and started helping the church rather than stopping it. A few years after this transformation, Paul wrote about anger to a church in Ephesus. He invited them to follow Jesus even when they were angry.
INSTRUCTIONS: Read Ephesians 4:2227
Ephesians 4:22–27 NIV
You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness. Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.
Paul says the old ways of relating through anger no longer apply to them. The way of Jesus is to lay aside old ways of revenge and retribution. As a community, even when they disagreed, they were to love each other as Jesus loved them. Paul said this to speak the truth to God's community. The people of Ephesus would say hurtful things behind each other's backs rather than tell the truth. Paul encouraged them to talk to those who may have hurt them. It's healthy to create boundaries in your life and help others understand when they have crossed the line. Paul then says something revolutionary, "in your anger, do not sin."
Paul invites them to validate the emotions they feel behind their anger. As we discussed earlier, we experience a range of emotions when we're angry or hurt. Paul is inviting them not to become hurtful to others or the community even when they have experienced pain and justifiable anger.
QUESTION | "Is revenge the best course of action?"
One way to deal with hurt is through revenge. Here's the thing, revenge makes for a great fictional storyline, but it's destructive in real life. Revenge doesn't heal the hurt.
Paul doesn't want the church to give in to revenge. He knows that leads to a cycle of pain, anger, and hurt. Paul wants the Ephesians to experience restoration. Paul gives an example of someone stealing. Instead of punishing the person who steals, simply have them return what they stole. Restore the wrong. Then Paul invites the person who stole and the whole community to share what they have with others in need. In a community that shares, there is no need for stealing. This is restoration.
Instead of our anger fueling revenge, it can start a spark of forgiveness, balance, and a vision for how the world can be better for everyone. Not only is the one who harmed restored, but the community is restored too. Restoration doesn't mean we must be close friends or even in the same room with the person who hurt us. It means we don't have to seek revenge for our justified anger. Paul shows a way to help create restoration for them and for us.
SCRIPTURE | Psalm 119:9–16
In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul draws from ancient poetry in the Old Testament. These poets started showing the people of Israel and the early church what it looked like to pursue peace.
INSTRUCTIONS: Read Psalm 119:916
Psalm 119:9–16 NIV
How can a young person stay on the path of purity? By living according to your word. I seek you with all my heart; do not let me stray from your commands. I have hidden your word in my heart that I might not sin against you. Praise be to you, Lord; teach me your decrees. With my lips I recount all the laws that come from your mouth. I rejoice in following your statutes as one rejoices in great riches. I meditate on your precepts and consider your ways. I delight in your decrees; I will not neglect your word.
As we follow and stay close to Jesus, we begin to follow his words and allow those words to become a living response. We can read and live out these words to the best of our ability.
Instead of passing our pain around, we pass on God's grace. We can follow the example of Jesus, which means

When you're angry, don't get hurtful.

NOW WHAT? What does God want us to do about it?
VIDEO | A Clip from Spider-Man: No Way Home (Part 2)
At the end of the clip Spider-Man: No Way Home we watched earlier, we saw Spider-Man react to his feelings of hurt and anger.
INSTRUCTIONS: As a teaching tool, play a short clip (4:21-6:14) like this one from Spider-Man: No Way Home, where Spider-Man shows mercy to the Green Goblin and gives him an opportunity to be restored.
Spider-Man had lost control and was letting his anger slip into hate. But a friend helped him see that it didn't have to be that way. He could choose a path to help the Green Goblin be restored rather than have his revenge. God's Spirit is the one who helps us make a different choice, empowers us to follow Jesus' lead, and helps us choose to seek peace rather than to get vengeance. Let's look at four ways God's Spirit can help you follow Jesus' lead in this hurting world through a real-life example — let's say a friend hurts you emotionally.
RELATIONSHIP:
First, choose not to retaliate. You might know each other well and know how to hurt them back. Instead of retaliation, consider how much you value the friendship. Is it worth working toward a new form of the relationship, one with more openness and understanding?
RESPECT:
As you seek to restore your friendship, remember you and your friend are people made by God. You are both worthy of respect. Neither of you deserves to be in an abusive relationship.
REPAIR:
There is always time to apologize and commit to not saying hurtful things. You can't always repair everything, but you can make an attempt to make things right. Sometimes there is so much damage that the healthiest thing is for the friendship to end, but with effort, many friendships can be repaired.
RESTORATION:
In all disputes, remember to work toward restoration. This could be together or apart but work toward a place where you can thrive, and one does not have power over the other. When we seek God's best for ourselves and others, we are living out God's kingdom on earth.
REFLECTION | Comic Bubble Prayers.
INSTRUCTIONS: For this prayer activity, you will need speech bubble cards like these and a large board or wall where students can tape or pin their cards. If you use the set design, we have suggested there is a space created for this prayer response. Give each student three speech bubble cards. On the first card, ask them to tell God about something they are angry about. On the second, encourage them to ask God to show them how they can restore the injustice. On the third, ask them to thank God for being a God of healing, asking for healing in their life. When they are done, if they feel comfortable, have them pin or tape their prayers to the board and spend some time reading other people's reflections.
God is always looking for ways to partner with us. The question is, are we paying attention? Perhaps it's through our families, friendships, unique circumstances, or what we feel strongly about. You are exactly where and who you are supposed to be. Each one of us has the power to cultivate more revenge and destruction or peace and restoration. It's up to you. With these prayers, we are listening to God's guidance in our life; what is God saying? I encourage you to partner with God and work together to bring about the peace this world needs because, with Jesus' help, it's possible. This week remember

When you're angry, don't get hurtful.

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