Justified Week 3: Grace Under Fire

Kyle Miller

Justified • Sermon • Submitted 2 months ago • Presented 2 months ago

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When you’re angry, you can still show grace.

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Transcript

WHAT? What are we talking about today?

ACTIVITY | By The Tortilla Of Thor!

INSTRUCTIONS: For this activity, you'll need a cup of water for every participant, large flour tortillas, a Thor helmet and Loki helmet, and a tarp for the ground. To play, give two adult volunteers each a helmet, a cup of water, and a tortilla. Have students vote on who they think will win. Both participants take a big gulp of water but do not swallow. Then, they slap each other with their tortillas. If either one spits out their water, they lose.

Welcome to the third week of our series Justified, where we're talking about something we all experience but don't always know how to handle, our anger.

Many heroes have a trademark weapon to help them in their quest to confront injustice. Wonder Woman has her lasso of truth. Thor has his hammer. And you, friends, will have this tortilla.

Today we'll battle two heroes face-to-face and see who will reign supreme. This is just a game and all for fun, but when someone hits you in the face with a tortilla, a little part of you still wants to get mad. If these tortilla-wielding heroes were less-than-super, you can see this conflict escalating quickly, can't you?

STORY | Escalating Conflict

It's not every day you get angry over tortillas, but there are a few things that might make us that mad every day. So mad, perhaps your feelings escalate the same way they did in the tortilla game.

Maybe there were words exchanged. Maybe there were even some hands thrown. Or maybe you both plotted against each other behind the scenes.

When I was a kid, I went to this daycare in Old Hickory, TN called “LaPetite Academy” I had a lot of friends there, but one kid got on my last nerve: Jake Pyburn. I actually had a not so nice name for him: “Jake Pee-brain”

Mature, right?

It seemed like every day this dude was trying to mess with me, just talking a ton of trash and I had no idea why.

And I had a serious temper as a kid…

So one day, Jake and I got in a fight. We weren’t exactly UFC material so didn’t know how to punch, but I just remember us shoving each other and rolling down the hill during recess into a fence.

After that we were cool. And I learned to cool down and not get so mad after that fight.

When someone hurts us, it's often our instinct to hurt them. We might even think revenge will help right the wrongs that were done to us. It doesn't take long to realize this angry back-and-forth won't solve our problems. It often creates even more.

QUESTION | "What are the reasons you've seen conflict start?"

INSTRUCTIONS: Ask the following questions and give a few students a chance to respond.

I'm curious, what types of things cause escalating anger?

What are some reasons you've seen a conflict start?

People can really get under our skin. They may have teased or betrayed us, or maybe they took something important from us. We all often hurt each other, whether we mean to or not. You've hurt people, people have hurt you, and both are bound to happen again. When people make us angry, do we have to let it escalate? What is our goal — bitterness, jealousy, hatred, or revenge? Could there be a better way?

SO WHAT? Why does it matter to God and to us?

VIDEO | A Clip from Black Panther

INSTRUCTIONS: As you teach, silently play a short clip from a video like this one (0:00–2:54) of Killmonger in Black Panther, as a teaching tool.

In the story of Black Panther, a character known as Killmonger falls into this trap of escalating anger. Killmonger is the main villain in the first Black Panther film, but like all well-written villains, Killmonger didn't start out as a bad guy.

Before he was Killmonger, he was N'Jadaka, or Erik Stevens. When he was a child, his father, N'Jobu, was killed, and Erik sought revenge. The reality was more complicated. Erik's father, N'Jobu, had betrayed his homeland Wakanda. N'Jobu tried to kill an innocent man to protect himself when he was found out. T'Chaka, king of Wakanda, intervened. In the process, N'Jobu was killed. The loss of his father changed Erik in a way that impacted the rest of his life, and not for the better. Were Erik's feelings of anger, sadness, and grief over the loss of his father normal, healthy, and valid? Absolutely! But Erik lets those feelings fester and transform into jealousy, hatred, and a desire for revenge. As a result, Erik became a villain, Killmonger. He caused significant pain and damage to others, as well as himself. Ultimately, his path of revenge led to his death.

This path from anger to hatred to revenge is a common one. We don't just see it in movies. We see it in real life. We see it in ourselves, and we even see it in Scripture.

SCRIPTURE | John 3:1–17

Jesus had enemies, including many religious leaders who hated him for the things he said. Of course, Jesus never harmed them. These religious leaders didn't believe Jesus was who he said he was, so they became really angry every time Jesus healed someone, forgave someone's sins, or said he was equal to God. These religious leaders didn't wonder, "Hey, is it possible Jesus really could be who he says he is?" Instead, they decided Jesus was a blasphemer and an enemy of God. Over time, it became clear their anger at Jesus was turning into something much more dangerous, hatred for him. Ultimately, they plotted to have Jesus murdered. Not every religious leader felt this way. A Pharisee named Nicodemus decided to break the anger-escalation cycle. One night, he approached Jesus to ask some important questions.

INSTRUCTIONS: Read John 3:1–17

John 3:1–17 NIV

Now there was a Pharisee, a man named Nicodemus who was a member of the Jewish ruling council. He came to Jesus at night and said, “Rabbi, we know that you are a teacher who has come from God. For no one could perform the signs you are doing if God were not with him.” Jesus replied, “Very truly I tell you, no one can see the kingdom of God unless they are born again.” “How can someone be born when they are old?” Nicodemus asked. “Surely they cannot enter a second time into their mother’s womb to be born!” Jesus answered, “Very truly I tell you, no one can enter the kingdom of God unless they are born of water and the Spirit. Flesh gives birth to flesh, but the Spirit gives birth to spirit. You should not be surprised at my saying, ‘You must be born again.’ The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.” “How can this be?” Nicodemus asked. “You are Israel’s teacher,” said Jesus, “and do you not understand these things? Very truly I tell you, we speak of what we know, and we testify to what we have seen, but still you people do not accept our testimony. I have spoken to you of earthly things and you do not believe; how then will you believe if I speak of heavenly things? No one has ever gone into heaven except the one who came from heaven—the Son of Man. Just as Moses lifted up the snake in the wilderness, so the Son of Man must be lifted up, that everyone who believes may have eternal life in him.” For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him.

John 3:16 is a verse you may have heard before, it's well-known for a good reason. Some say this verse tells us the best news that humanity has ever heard. But let's not miss the next verse, John 3:17. Jesus didn't come to earth to condemn us but to rescue us instead.

In this verse, the word for "condemn" means to judge a person, to offer a punishment, or to separate. When some people think of God, they think of a God who is angry, ready to judge, and eager to punish them harshly for their sins. But Jesus shows us that's not what God is like at all. When you and I make choices that cause harm to others, to ourselves, or to our relationships with God, the Bible says God does become angry, but God's anger doesn't work like ours.

It's easy for our anger to turn dark, like jealousy, hatred, or a desire for revenge. But God doesn't have that problem. When sin angers God, God responds with patience, mercy, and grace.

STORY | God's Grace

"Grace" is a common word in the Bible and at church, but what does it mean?

Mercy is when a person receives less punishment than they expect or deserve. Grace is when a person receives more kindness than they expect or deserve. God's grace is a wonderful feeling, and it is abundant. God will always have grace for you.

SCRIPTURE | Ephesians 4:31–32

It's easy for us to get stuck in cycles of anger escalation, but God doesn't work like us. Through Jesus, God shows us a different way. Instead of retaliation, Jesus invites us to receive the grace offered to everyone. Then, once we receive it, we should pass it on to each other, even when we're angry.

INSTRUCTIONS: Read Ephesians 4:31–32

Ephesians 4:31–32 NIV

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

If you've experienced the love, kindness, forgiveness, and grace of Jesus, you know how life-changing it is. Next time you find yourself caught up in your anger, consider passing on the same grace God showed you. What would it look like for you to respond with grace instead of anger? When you were stuck in sin, God chose to show you grace instead of condemnation. Now you're invited to pass it on. Because of Jesus,

When you're angry, you can still show grace.

NOW WHAT? What does God want us to do about it?

IMAGE | The Ancestral Plane

INSTRUCTIONS: As a teaching tool, show an image of a purple-tinted night sky.

There are many ways to show someone grace. Offering grace doesn't necessarily mean forgiving them right away or going back to how things used to be. You may get there eventually but consider these steps first.

Ask questions when you'd rather pass judgment.

Try to believe the best when you'd rather assume the worse.

Walk away when you'd rather fight back.

Speak kindly when you'd rather speak harshly.

Take a breath when you'd rather react.

Pray for others when you'd rather not.

Showing grace when you're angry might sound like a nice thing to do, but it's easier said than done. In the heat of the moment, when you're angry with someone who has hurt you, the last thing you want to do is be kind. I'm not going to lie, it is difficult, but we have many examples in our lives, in Scripture, and even in the movies that show us that festering anger is a recipe for disaster.

Let's go back to Wakanda and meet Killmonger's nemesis, our hero. T'Challa, the Black Panther, had plenty of reasons to be angry, but unlike Killmonger, T'Challa showed grace to his enemies. At pivotal moments in his journey, T'Challa would think, reflect, and ask for help.

I think we can all benefit from having a place to pause, think, and ask for help.

REFLECTION | Ask, Repeat, Pray, Remember

Next time you're angry, frustrated, or hurt, take a moment to pause and try one of these steps.

ASK FOR GOD'S HELP.

In our own strength, none of us have the ability to show the kind of grace God has shown us. We need help. Thankfully, God can provide it.

REPEAT GOD'S WORDS.

When we're angry, focusing our minds on what God has said can help refocus our hearts. Maybe memorize a passage of Scripture and recall it when grace is difficult to give.

PRAY LOVING PRAYERS.

When we pray for the people who've angered us, God begins to change our hearts. Although difficult at the time, try praying, "God, show them how much you love them. Let them have a good day. Help them heal from the difficulty they're going through."

Watch how God changes your heart and maybe theirs too.

REMEMBER GOD'S GRACE.

Think about how much grace God has shown us, how much love we've received, and how much God has forgiven us. And if you think you've never received God's grace, today is a great day to start. We're all kind of a mess, aren't we? We're all capable of hurting each other and ourselves, but with Jesus, we can experience grace and pass it on too.

INSTRUCTIONS: Before your teaching time, print the handout provided in your Week 3 folder. Place one under each seat, along with a pen. Play soft music while you give students time to write and reflect.

For the next few moments, think about recent situations where you were angry or struggled to show someone grace.

In each of those situations, which of these four steps would have helped you? For each situation you thought of, put a checkmark in the squares that would have helped the most. When you're finished, what patterns do you see? Which squares did you check off most and least?

RESPONSE | Share Your Squares

You and I have each other to help guide us through times when we’re angry, and that's a great place to start.

Each of these squares points to a tool that can help us choose grace rather than bitterness, hatred, or revenge. We won't always get it right, but when we don't, there is grace for us too.

May we remember that we have a Father in heaven that knows us better than we know ourselves who will help us show grace in tough moments.

This week, I hope you'll remember how much God loves you, how much Jesus has done for you, and how much God can transform your heart and mind. Remember,

When you're angry, you can still show grace.